Chapter 31: I Am The Fire
February 20th, 2014 - 1100 (11:00 am)
"Tom, I am plenty well enough to disembark with the crew. We're not running into any burning buildings, we're having a barbecue on an uninhabited island, and I am helping set up for dinner."
Jed stared on in amusement as his son frowned, hands hovering as Rachel attempted to put her own shoes on. He knew that Tom wanted very much to wrap Rachel in bubble wrap, lock her in their bedroom, and never let her leave. But he was working to find a balance between being careful with her and being completely overbearing. He wasn't having much success, as far as Jed could tell, and had barely let her leave their cabin while she'd been healing during the past week.
"My stitches come out tomorrow," she said, wincing as she finished tying her shoes and stood to her feet, meeting his eyes with her own steely gaze. "I haven't taken any pain medication in two days. I am fine."
It was comical, really, watching a woman who was over half a foot shorter than Tom stare him into submission.
"Fine," he finally growled, throwing his hands in the air. "But will you please at least wait until I can go with you? I'm done on the bridge at 1500."
"No," Rachel said simply. "I will be with Jed and the kids, and I believe Tex, Danny, and Kara are also going at the same time we are. I will be fine, Tom."
He didn't look very convinced.
"Do you remember," Rachel said, taking his hand and holding it between both of hers. "When Sam was sick, and Ashley was so worried about him?"
Tom nodded sharply, once.
"She said that she wanted to stay with me and Sam instead of going to school. But you told her no, she had to go to school, so that she could see when she got home that you'd told her the truth that Sam would be fine. This is like that. Tom, we aren't doing anything dangerous. Not a single thing that could possibly hurt me, unless I trip and stub my toe. Not one, but two advance teams have already checked out the island. You sent a UAV to make sure there weren't any people within five miles of the spot we're docking. You need to let me go without you, and see that I'll be fine."
Tom nodded again, but this time he looked upset.
Rachel stood down, having made her point, and Jed busied himself getting the kid's shoes on while they talked.
"I just... I have so much anxiety when you're out of my sight," he admitted, and took her into his arms. She pressed her head against his uniform blues and breathed in his scent. She loved the scent of him, a mix of his shampoo and body wash, whatever detergent they washed his uniform with, and a unique, spicy scent that was all his own. It was comforting.
"I know, and that's partially why I'm doing this. I love you, so much Tom. But I am a strong, independent woman, and I can make my own choices. If there was a chance that something could happen to me or the baby, I would take your opinion into consideration. But getting off on this island will literally be the safest I've been while off of the ship since this all started. I need to do this, and you need me to do this."
She paused, letting her words sink in, and then continued.
"It's understandable, your anxiety. This is now the third time I've been hurt while off the ship," she said, motioning toward her shoulder. "But in this case, specifically, your anxiety is unfounded. And I know that anxiety is inherently irrational, that you logically know I'll be fine but can't convince yourself of it. We both need this. We need to be apart, and see that nothing will happen, so that your heart and your brain can finally agree that I'll be safe even if I'm not with you."
"You're right," he whispered, kissing her head and then taking a step back. "You're right, as always."
"I know I am," she said, smirking as she rocked forward to press a kiss to his cheek. "Now. Go be the Captain, do important Captain things. The kids and Jed and I will be waiting for you on the island when you're done. I think I'm going to bring Jane Eyre and read and nap in the sun while the kids play in the sand."
"Lay in the shade or wear sunscreen, please," Tom said, and Rachel reached out to swat at him.
"Oh my God, go away and quit worrying about me! I will be laying in the sun, it's too cold in the shade!"
Tom laughed as he exited the room, and Rachel rolled her eyes.
Jed, behind her, chuckled as he tied Sam's tennis shoes. Rachel turned to face him, a light blush on her cheeks.
"Sorry about that," she said, and Jed shrugged, grinning.
"I like that you can put him in his place. He's always been... very stubborn. And somehow that has always translated into him getting his way, either because he won't give up or because he's intimidating. Got way worse when he joined the Navy and then became a Captain. His stubbornness reached new bounds that I hadn't thought were possible. But you stand up to him. It's good for him."
Sam and Ashley giggled from behind Jed, and Rachel smiled.
"Yes, well, someone has to put him in his place. Goodness knows no one on this ship will do it, they're all convinced that he'll bite their heads off when in reality he's a giant teddy bear in disguise."
Jed snorted, opening the cabin door for her and motioning her and the kids into the p-way. They were heading to the deck to take one of the first R.H.I.B.s to shore to begin setting up for the barbecue for the crew tonight. Rachel was banned from helping much, but she was going to oversee set up, and then relax during any downtime between set up and when the rest of the crew disembarked at 1400.
"Rachel, are we gonna get to play on the beach?" Sam asked, reaching for her hand as they walked into the sunshine.
It was a beautiful day - an unseasonal 49 degrees. It seemed even warmer with the sun shining brightly above them, and she thought that in a few hours, the kids might not even need their jackets.
"Yes, love," she told Sam, holding out the bucket she'd brought with them. They didn't have proper beach toys, but she'd borrowed a couple of plastic buckets and several measuring cups and containers from the kitchen that the kids could use to make sandcastles. "It's too cold to get in the water, but I've always thought the best part of the beach was making sand castles, anyway."
Ashley nodded eagerly; she had been to the beach before. So had Sam, but he had been a baby and didn't remember it.
"When we went with mommy and daddy when I was 5, we went into the water but I feel in and got scared, so I spent all my time looking for seashells. Oooh, if we find seashells, do you think I could use them to make bracelets and necklaces with my jewelry kit?"
"That is a wonderful idea, Ashley. We can use one of these containers to collect them."
By the time they boarded the R.H.I.B, the kids were bouncing with excitement. Rachel took time on the 10 minute boat ride to slather both children with sunscreen, including under their jackets since she knew that at least Sam's would be off within the first ten minutes. The sunscreen they had was expired by several months, but it was the best they had, and though it was cold Rachel knew that sunburn was still something they needed to worry about, especially with Ashley and Sam's pale skin.
When the boat docked, Rachel handed Ashley the bucket with the sandcastle making supplies.
"Thanks, mommy!" Ashley said, leaning up and kissing Rachel on the cheek before running off.
Jed stared at Rachel in surprise as Sam hugged her and ran off to join his sister.
"She, um, a while back, when I was first hurt, she asked if she could call me that sometimes. But that was the first time she actually has," Rachel explained, her cheeks red as she busied herself with some of the supplies they were needing to set up. She paused in her efforts when Jed reached out and hugged her, holding her tightly to him.
"Thank you," he said quietly, his voice choked with emotion as he held her.
Rachel smiled and wrapped her arms around the older man, returning his embrace.
"For what?"
"For loving my son, and my grandchildren. For being exactly what they need. For ... for saving them," he said, and Rachel sniffed, pulling back and smiling at Jed.
"I've not done anything special," she countered, and Jed shook his head, reaching out to take the cooler of food she was attempting to carry.
"You didn't have to. You are special, and that's enough. One day you'll be my daughter, too, and I cannot wait for that day."
Rachel blushed even deeper at the insinuation, but smiled happily, twisting the ring on her right hand.
She couldn't wait for that day, either.
February 20th, 2014 - 1520 (3:20 pm)
When Tom was finally able to join his family on the beach, everything had been set up for dinner and the crew was beginning to disembark, exploring the beach and indulging in the beer that Bacon had unearthed from God knew where. Tom chose not to ask - the crew was excited, and most of them would be off duty tonight anyway.
"Daddy!" Sam yelled, spying his father as he walked toward them. Sam had taken off his jacket and his shoes, and he ran to greet Tom with sandy toes and fingers. Tom lifted him in the air, throwing him up several inches before catching him as he fell down. Sam shrieked in laughter, holding his arms out as Tom flew him through the air like an airplane. "Higher, Daddy! Throw me higher!"
Tom obliged, and by the time the two of them made their way over to where Rachel and Ashley were resting on the sand in a nice patch of sunshine, Sam was giggling madly.
"Did you see, Rachel? Did you see daddy throw me in the air? That was so fun. Do it again, daddy!"
Tom rolled his eyes and placed Sam on the sand, nudging the boy back toward the sand castle he'd been making.
"Go play, you menace. We'll do it again in a bit."
Sam ran back to his lopsided sandcastle and continued his mission of making the castle taller than himself.
"Hey, love," Rachel greeted him, tilting her head up and accepting a kiss from Tom as he sat down beside them. He had changed out of his Navy blues and into jeans and a long-sleeved, heather gray henley. Rachel let her gaze linger on his chest, appreciating the way the material clung to his abs, and wondered briefly if he would deem her 'healed enough' for her to appreciate him up close and personal that evening.
"Before you say I told you so," Tom began, and Rachel grinned, motioning to her and the kids to show that they were all well and in one piece. "I know you were right. I admit that I was being overbearing, and I apologize. I'll make an effort to defer to you in the future when there are little or no risks involved."
"Good," she said, and then laid back on the sand. "Now go help Danny and Mike with the burgers. Your baby is hungry."
Tom let his eyes flicker to where she was cupping her belly. The tiny baby bump she had was on display in the tight, v-neck green t-shirt she was wearing, and he let his gaze linger for several moments. He loved that she was showing this early, probably due to her small size, and he wanted very much to reach out and touch her belly, too. Although, if he was honest with himself, he wanted to touch much more than just her belly.
Rachel met his eyes and smiled, probably guessing where his mind was heading. She nudged him with her foot and said, "Later, Tom. Tonight, after the kids go to sleep, I'll show you exactly how healed I am. For now, burgers. Go."
Tom laughed and nodded, departing with one final, heated look in Rachel's direction, and headed to where his father, Danny, and Mike were setting up the barbecue.
"Need any help?" he asked, and Danny grinned, tossing him a beer.
"Sure, Captain! Have a beer, help me with these burgers. I keep making them too thin. We've lost two. Bacon's gonna kill me if there are any more casualties."
Tom opened the beer and took a large swig, loving the slight burn as it went down. It had been so long since he'd done this, enjoying a beer and settling in to barbecue. It felt nice, it felt normal.
Tom wasn't able to leave the grill until much, much later. It turned out he was the best of everyone at forming and grilling the burgers perfectly. Mike burnt them, and Danny undercooked them. Jed just watched, backseat cooking and telling everyone else what to do, and so Tom's line was the longest. He passed out burger after burger, enjoying the smiles and the laughter from his crew.
"This was a good idea," Mike said, motioning toward where everyone was settling into groups with their food and their drinks, talking and laughing and enjoying themselves in a way they hadn't been able to since the Nathan James had started its second mission. Kara and Rachel were sitting together, talking and comparing their baby bumps, while the children raced up and down the sand in some sort of competition. Hannah won, and crowed her victory loudly as the other children demanded a rematch.
"It was," Tom agreed, and handed a plated burger to the young ensign that had just walked up to him. "Here, take over for me for a bit," he said. He handed his spatula to Mike and grabbed enough food for his family before walking off with a wave. Mike flipped him the bird as he left the grill, much to Tom's amusement.
"Deserter!" Mike called out, Danny and Jed cheering him on, but Tom just shrugged, walking backward to meet their gaze as he spoke.
"My girl's pregnant and hungry, man! This is for everyone's good!"
Mike shook his head in pretend disappointment as Tom turned and finished walking toward Rachel and the kids.
He sat down and handed out the burgers to the kids, much to Sam's excitement.
"I'd offer you a beer, but..." Tom said as he handed Rachel her burger.
Rachel laughed as she reached for her food, taking a bite and grinning around the meat and bread. "Not for the next six months, anyway," she agreed, and reached out to take Tom's hand in her own before setting them over her belly. He grinned, happily eating with one hand while he caressed the bump over her shirt. He had just taken a large bite of his burger when Rachel began speaking again, this time whispering so they kids couldn't hear.
"I was thinking that tonight, we could try that thing that I asked about a while back. The one where I tie you up and have my way with you," she clarified, and Tom choked on his bite of burger. Rachel grinned at him, as if that had been her plan all along, and he glared, slapping his chest as he coughed around the food. "I'd let you tie me up, but I should probably be on top because of my shoulder."
Tom finally managed to swallow the bite of burger, and turned toward Rachel with wide eyes. "Uh. Yeah, yeah you should definitely be on top," he said. "Because of your shoulder. Yeah."
Rachel grinned, leaned over to kiss him, and then turned back to her food as if she hadn't just turned his entire brain to much and made him get an entirely inappropriate erection.
"You are an evil woman," he whispered, taking deep breaths and willing his body to listen to him. "Is it the kids bedtime yet? Surely they can go to bed at 5, right?"
Rachel laughed and shook her head. "Not a chance, Captain Chandler. Besides, I heard there will be music and dancing later, and I want to dance with you."
That actually sounded very good to Tom. Much of their relationship had developed during times of chaos and amid fear and desperation. The idea of enjoying a simple evening on the beach, dancing with the woman he loved, and then cuddling around a campfire, sounded simply wonderful.
"I like the sound of that," he told her, and her smile grew until it took over her entire face, her cheeks stained a soft red. She was glowing, and so damn beautiful that Tom couldn't help but reach out and touch her cheek. "I love you," he told her, and she whispered the words back softly as she leaned in and met his lips with hers.
Tom was just readying himself to deepen the kiss despite the almost 200 people surrounding them when a little voice interrupted them.
"Eww, daddy! You can't kiss mommy here," Ashley said, her little voice scandalized, and Tom broke away from Rachel in surprise, turning and staring between his two girls. Rachel didn't look as surprised as Tom thought she should, considering what Ashley had just said, but Ashley was grinning brightly, staring at her dad with a look that told him she was both embarrassed by their actions, but happy that they were happy and in love.
"Sorry, Ash," he said, recovering himself quickly. "But I will kiss Rachel whenever and wherever I want to." He then proceeded to prove that he would do just that by capturing Rachel's lips again, though the kiss was a little ruined by her laughter.
Ashley stuck her tongue out in fake disgust, and then jumped up and ran off to join Hannah, Lucy, and Ava in a game of tag they'd just started.
"Did she just call you...?" Tom asked, staring off after his daughter as she ran away.
Rachel nodded, resting her head on his chest as they both watched the children playing. "Yes, and earlier, too. I honestly didn't think she would be the one that would do something like that. She was a lot more reserved with me, at first. I'm glad that she's comfortable enough to call me her mother. Though I know I'm not her real mother, it makes me happy that she's healing enough to consider me a mother figure."
Tom nodded; he had noticed Ashley's reservation in the beginning, too, but he knew more about his daughter and knew that holding back her feelings didn't mean that that she didn't have them. Ashley felt things more strongly than a lot of children, but tended to hide her feelings until she was sure she wouldn't be denied or rejected. Which had always mystified him, because she had been raised in a very loving, accepting, and open minded environment. To his knowledge, she had never been hurt in that way, and the fact that she held her feelings in had always confused him.
"She tends to keep things inside," he said, kissing Rachel's head. "But she loves you, very much. You have been so good with her. Encouraging her to grieve, to talk about her mother, and to be open with her feelings. Those things were exactly what she needed to be able to begin to heal. I don't know if I could have done that for them," he said. "I am a lot more closed off emotionally than I should be with them. Thank you, for helping them, and me, through this."
Rachel smiled and nodded, but didn't respond. She still didn't think she had done anything special. She had only done what she wished someone had done for her when her mother had died. All she had wanted was someone to talk to, someone to tell her it was OK to cry, and someone to tell her that it was going to be all right eventually. So, she had simply done those things for Ashley and Sam.
They stayed that way for a long time, sitting together with Rachel resting on Tom's chest, just watching the kids play and enjoying their laughter. The sounds of the crew around them blended into the background, white noise as they focused on each other and the children. It was beginning to get dark when Ashley and Sam came back over and collapsed next to them.
"Daddy, the music is starting," Ashley said as she leaned against Rachel's other side. "Will you dance with me?"
Tom nodded, smiling at his daughter as he stood to his feet, brushing sand off his ass as he did. When he looked up, he could see that several others had begun dancing as well. The song was upbeat, and he could easily pick out the people who'd had more than one beer, as they were letting loose as they danced to the song.
"It would be my pleasure," he told Ashley, and held out his hand.
Ashley took it, and he led her to the crowd of dancers, choosing to waltz with Ashley rather than dance as others were doing. She immediately stood on his feet and wrapped her arm around his back as he swung her in circles, making her laugh and giggle as he spun and then dipped her.
Rachel watched them with a soft smile, and then turned to Sam.
"Would you like to dance?" she asked, and Sam jumped up excitedly, holding his hand out and then dragging Rachel toward where his father and sister were spinning in circles. Their waltz had fallen apart a little, and they were simply spinning and laughing, the light of the setting sun casting pink and yellow rays through their hair. Rachel smiled as she caught Tom's eye mid-spin, and he blew her a kiss, wrapping his arm around Ashley's back as she stumbled a little.
"Spin me, mommy!" Sam yelled, and Rachel fought back tears as she took Sam in her arms, lifting him to her waist and spinning them in circles to match Tom and Ashley. Sam shrieked with laughter, throwing his head back as they spun. The colors of the setting sun looked simply beautiful as they went around and around, and Rachel realized in that moment that she was the happiest she had been in a very long time.
"Can I break in?" a voice asked, and Rachel stopped spinning to look up. The world was still swirling a little bit, but she could see Tom smiling down at her, holding out a hand. Rachel nodded and put Sam down, and Ashley immediately grabbed her brother's hand to begin spinning in circles again. The two kids continued until they fell down, and then they laid on their backs on the sand, grinning and panting as they stared at the sunset.
Rachel took Tom's hand, and let him wind one arm around her waist, settling it low on her back while the other entwined their fingers. They swayed slowly, the music changing to a much slower song as they danced together.
Rachel rested her head on Tom's shoulder, pressing them together until she could feel the bump of her belly pressing into Tom's hips.
She had never been happier than she was in this moment.
I'm going to be entirely honest with you. The next chapter will be 100% porn. I love how passionate Rachel is in everything she does, and something tells me that sex would be no different. She is going to wreck Tom in the next chapter, and he's going to like it.
That being said, if it's not your thing, Chapter 32 will have NO PLOT, so it'll be safe to skip. :)