Chapter 43: I Am The Fire
June 24th, 2014 - 0800 (8:00 am)
'As soon as they possibly could' turned out to be less than three days later.
The second they had mentioned what they wanted to do to Tex, Danny, and Kara, their friends sprang into action. Kara worked on figuring out how to get a wedding license while Danny went in search of someone who could perform the ceremony. Tex asked the President if they could use the Courthouse for the wedding and the reception, and Jeffery had been so excited he had even offered to help with decorating.
All Rachel and Tom had to do was work on their vows.
"Are we sure we want to write our own vows, and not go traditional?" Rachel asked, frowning down at the piece of paper on the table in front of her.
Tom chuckled from his spot across from her, sipping from his coffee as he fiddled with the pen in his hand.
"Didn't think it would be this hard," he admitted, putting the pen down and leaning back. "There's so much I could say, but I find I'm having trouble summing up what you mean to me."
"Right?" Rachel agreed in frustration. "I obviously know that I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you. But ... how do I put that into words? How do I sum up these... feelings inside of me?"
Tom was struggling in much the same way. He shrugged, and offered her a small smile.
They continued sitting at the table, the morning light shining through the windows, as they both tried to summarize the love that they felt for each other.
At one point, Rachel growled in frustration, putting her pen down and looking up at Tom. He was sitting, one hand wrapped around his mug of coffee, the other holding his pen. His face was a picture of concentration, his lips moving silently as he wrote down the words he would be saying to her tonight. He looked so serious, his brow furrowed, and Rachel loved him so much in that moment that her chest hurt.
He looked up and caught her staring. "What?"
Rachel shook her head, turning her attention back to her vows.
"Nothing. I just love you."
"I love you too," he said softly, and their eyes met for a brief, intense moment before they both grinned, turning their attention back to their respective pieces of paper.
They could do this.
June 24th, 2014 - 1500 (3:00 pm)
Tom had gone over his vows again and again, not completely happy with them but unable to come up with any other way to say what he wanted to say. At any rate, it was too late now, he noted, swallowing as he tugged at the collar of his dress blues. He was in full uniform, standing at attention at the front of the courthouse, ready to get married but also completely freaking out.
The room was still mostly empty, with the exception of a few of his crew, including Danny and Kara, decorating the aisles of chairs that had been set up. The wedding was slated to begin around 1600, but Tom had, in his nervousness, gotten ready over an hour early and, without the distraction of his children or Rachel, had come to loiter around the Courthouse until it was time.
They had wanted something small, but as more and more people found out who was getting married, the guest list continued to grow. They were expecting close to two hundred guests at this point. Most of the crew of the Nathan James, plus Thorwald, some of his men, and several civilians that had made their home in Baltimore. Apparently the two people who had done so much to save the world getting married was a big deal or something.
"You gonna be OK, Captain?"
Tom turned quickly to see President Michener walking up behind him. He was wearing a nicely pressed suit, and was making himself comfortable at the front of the Court House where they had set up a small table for the Officiant.
"I'll be fine. Just nervous. Can I help you with something, Mr. President?" he asked, and Jeffery shook his head, a shit-eating grin slowly taking over his face.
"Do you know," he asked, taking a sip of water from the bottle they'd left out for whoever Danny found to officiate the wedding. "For fun, several years back - as part of a dare, really - I was ordained online. I have the authority to officiate weddings."
Tom froze for several seconds, and then laughed loudly, his eyes crinkling with amusement.
"You're going to marry me and Rachel today?" he asked, and Jeffery nodded.
"Sure as shit am. How about that?"
Tom chuckled again, shaking his head. "That's fantastic, sir. Really it is. I can't wait."
Jeffery leaned against the table and gestured with his water bottle to the room. It was coming together nicely - there were ten rows of chairs, split by an aisle, with twenty chairs in each row. Danny and Kara had decorated the aisle simply with silver and blue garland. The place at the very front of the Courthouse where Tom and Rachel would stand during the ceremony had been adorned with a make-shift altar made from wood and wrapped with garland, flowers, and twinkling lights. It was simple, thrown together quickly; it was perfect.
But Tom couldn't care about any of that. The decorations were nice, and Tom knew that he would thank anyone who came to the wedding, but all he really cared about, at the end of the day, was seeing Rachel walk down that aisle, and leaving this Courthouse married to the woman he loved more than anything.
"Ready?"
"Sure am," Tom responded, pressing his hands into his pockets and surveying the room.
Less than an hour to go.
June 24th, 2014 - 1555 (3:55 pm)
It was five minutes before she was supposed to walk into the main room of the Courthouse and marry the love of her life.
And Rachel was perfectly, utterly calm.
"You're not freaking out?" Kara asked in amusement as she straightened Ashley's dress and made sure that all of the girls had their baskets and were ready to walk down the aisle ahead of the bride. Rachel had asked Hannah, Lucy, Ava, and Ashley to all be flower girls, and they were all dressed in matching, light blue sundresses. Sam was going to be the ring bearer and was looking positively adorable in his tiny suit.
"No, I'm not," she said, and smiled when she heard the music begin. "There's nothing to be nervous about, because I know I am making the best decision of my life by marrying Tom."
"I'm so happy for you," Kara whispered, and then grabbed and straightened Rachel's veil before ushering the girls out the door.
Rachel watched from around the corner as the four girls giggled, cheeks bright red as they walked slowly down the aisle, throwing flower petals ahead of them, creating a path of soft, white flowers for Rachel to follow them down. She pressed a hand to her belly as she saw Tom (who was still unaware of her), watching the girls with a soft smile on his face. He was standing at attention, his hands crossed in front of him as he waited at the make-shift alter for her.
Sam went next, grinning, making faces, and generally hamming it up as everyone watched him, carrying the ring pillow as carefully as he could manage in his tiny, clumsy, five-year-old hands.
Just as Rachel was about to follow, to walk down the aisle to meet the only man she would ever love this way, she felt a hand on her elbow.
She turned to see Jed smiling at her.
"May I have the honor of giving you away?" he asked softly, and Rachel felt tears in her eyes.
"I would love nothing more," she answered sincerely, and Jed grinned, linking his arm with hers.
The music crescendoed as they walked around the corner, arm in arm, and Rachel could pinpoint the exact moment that Tom saw her.
His eyes grew wide and his lips parted slightly in shock. He stared at her, his gaze intense and his eyes misty, as she walked slowly toward him, one hand resting protectively over her baby bump while the other was carefully tucked under Jed's arm.
She knew the dress she was wearing was attractive, and she knew that Tom would like it. It was much like the black dress she'd worn the other night, the one that had challenged Tom's self control. Except this one was pure white (not a wedding dress necessarily, but as close as they could find on short notice). It was strapless, simple, and tight over her chest and belly before flaring out around her hips. It was floor length, but didn't trail along the ground as she walked. It showed the scar, from where she'd been shot while distributing the cure, but she wore her scars with pride.
"You... are breathtaking," Tom whispered, his eyes raking over her body as she came to finally stand in front of him. He reached out, his hand shaking almost imperceptibly, as Jed took Rachel's hand and placed it in his.
"You take good care of her, son," Jed whispered, and then kissed Rachel on the cheek before moving to sit beside Sam and Ashley in the front row.
"I will," Tom answered, though he was staring into Rachel's gaze as he spoke. He couldn't look away - he was transfixed.
"I love you," Rachel whispered, her eyes wet as she heard the President clear his throat behind them.
"Friends, family, and loved ones," he began, addressing the crowd with a smile on his face. "We come together today, in the sight of the divine and of you as witnesses to join Rachel Scott and Thomas Chandler in marriage. We gather around them now and we look on with love and hope as these two begin their new life together as one."
Rachel was already crying, tears slipping silently down her cheeks, as she stared into Tom's eyes.
She wasn't aware of anyone or anything other than them. It was like he was the only thing she could see or hear or feel.
"Marriage is a sacred institution in our culture, and it is my greatest honor to officiate this wedding, the first here in Baltimore since our world was decimated by the Red Flu. Marriage is a tradition of partnership, of trust, and of dependence on one another to navigate the sometimes stormy seas of life. And the seas of life have indeed been stormy over this past year. People have said that marriage requires things like work, like commitment, and like sacrifice - and certainly all of those things are true. No matter what it looks like in the end, however, a healthy marriage always needs a solid foundation."
Jeffery paused, glancing out over the crowd. There were so many here to support Rachel and Tom that they were lining the walls and the doorway, the little standing room around the aisles of chairs packed full.
"It begins with love, to be sure, but what does that mean? People say they love chocolate, but is that the same as the love we need for a solid marriage? Of course not. The love we need comes from being willing to make those sacrifices. The love we need comes from being committed to working through everything together, and maintaining open communications - even when it is difficult. On top of that foundation of love - a mixture of work, sacrifice, and commitment - we can build things like trust and intimacy, and all of the beautiful things that make a marriage worthwhile."
Here, he turned away from the crowd to face the couple before him.
"Thomas and Rachel, are you ready to proclaim that foundation of love for one another in the sight of the heavens and these witnesses?"
"I am," Rachel said softly, her breath hitching.
"I've never been more ready in my entire life," Tom agreed, squeezing her hands, and Jeffery nodded before turning to address him specifically.
"Thomas, do you take Rachel to be your lawfully wedded wife? Will you honor and cherish her; love, trust, and commit to her, through joy and pain, sickness and health, and whatever life may throw at you both, until death do you part?"
"I have and I do, until the end of this life and beyond," he said, and the conviction behind his words made Rachel smile.
"Rachel, do you take Thomas to be your lawfully wedded husband? Will you honor and cherish him; love, trust, and commit to him, through joy and pain, sickness and health, and whatever life may throw at you both, until death do you part?"
Rachel nodded, reaching her free hand to wipe away tears. "I very, very much do."
Jeffery grinned, and motioned Sam forward. The little boy jumped out of his seat excitedly, stumbling up to them and holding out the rings.
"Here you go mommy, daddy! I have your rings!"
Tom laughed, leaning down to hug his son briefly before taking the rings from him. Sam threw his arms around Rachel next, hugging her tightly, before running back to his seat.
"At this time, Thomas and Rachel will exchange rings. The wedding ring is a symbol of binding. A symbol of attachment and of belonging, not of possession, but of partnership. They will also, at this time, share the vows that they have written for each other. Tom, you may begin."
Tom smiled nervously, rolling the ring that he'd gotten for Rachel in between his fingers.
He took a deep breath, and began.
"Rachel, I know that I was the one who came up with the idea of writing our own vows, but I should have known that it would be hard for me, considering I have spent the majority of my life keeping my feelings bottled up inside," he said, eyes meeting Rachel's as he took her hand gently into his. He ran his thumb over her knuckles nervously, swallowing repeatedly before finding his voice again. "Sitting down and trying to write out what you mean to me was ... much harder than I thought it would be. What words could I possibly use to sum up everything that you are? So I'll try my best, but please know that words will never do justice to what I feel for you, what you mean to me."
Tom paused, eyes flickering over the crowd before landing back on Rachel.
Rachel.
The woman who was about to be his wife, and was the mother of his child.
He took a deep, shaking breath in, and continued.
"I woke up this morning knowing that I was going to marry you today, and I spent... God, maybe an hour, just watching you sleep. I was thinking about when I first met you, as we were getting ready to ship out of Norfolk. There was something about you, even then, that drew me to you. But I was unavailable, so I kept my distance. And then, after we learned of what was happening in the world, and I got to know you, I was ... blown away by you. Amazed. Enthralled. You were strong, and stubborn, and the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. You keep me on my toes. You challenge me. You helped me grieve when I needed to grieve, you kicked my ass when it needed to be kicked, and you held me and let me cry when I needed to cry. You have been there for me for every single moment since this began. You are the most brilliant, the most head strong, the most wonderful person I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. Rachel, I swear that I will wake up every morning for the rest of our lives and be even more in love with you than I was the day before. I promise I will always strive to make you smile and laugh. I promise that I will never leave you, or our family. I love you. I will love you until the moment I take my last breath, and if there is a life after that, I'll love you then, too."
Rachel nodded vigorously, eyes overflowing with tears as Tom took the ring and pressed it carefully onto her ring finger. Once it was settled she stared at it for a long moment, sucking in a desperate breath as he leaned down, kissing her ring gently.
"Your turn, love," he whispered, and she nodded again, clearing her throat several times before speaking.
"Tom. I thought I would always be alone until I met you." She paused, and swallowed past the lump in her throat. "I was alone, until I met you. I've had relationships on and off, but I have never felt the spark that I feel with you. You ... put up this persona, when you're with your men. You're a leader, a true leader, and you seem like you're always in charge, like you always have the answer, like nothing scares you. And those things inspire people to follow you. But, behind closed doors, you are so much more than that. You are more than just a leader. You feel things deeply, even if you struggle to show it. You love deeply, and I am honored to be loved by you. Tom, I love you. I fell in love with you so long ago. I could argue that I started falling in love with you the first time we argued, in that Helo Bay, and I have fallen a little further in love with you every day since then. I love you when you smile. I love you when you cry. I love you when you're being a stubborn arse. I love watching you with Sam and Ashley. I love how you already love Noah, even though he's not been born yet. I love how you love me, and our family. I fall in love with you all over again every morning, and I look forward to falling in love with you every single day for the rest of our lives. Love, long-lasting, true love, is a choice, it's not just something you fall into. Tom Chandler, I love you on purpose, and I will love you for the rest of my existence."
Tom smiled blindingly as she pressed the ring onto his finger, caressing the warm skin of his hand as she settled it into place. It was a warm weight on his finger, a familiar one, and he loved it. He loved feeling it as he closed his hand, as he reached out and caressed Rachel's cheek.
"By the power vested in me by a frankly questionable website over five years ago," Jeffery said, and the crowd laughed. "I now pronounce you husband and wife. Captain Chandler, you may kiss your bride."
Tom brought his other hand up and cupped Rachel's face in both of his hands, eyes meeting hers for one brief moment before their mouths met.
They could hear the cheering behind them, the happy shouts and the congratulations, but they faded into the background as Tom coaxed Rachel's lips open and deepened the kiss.
"I present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Rachel and Thomas Chandler!" Jeffery announced, and Rachel's smile became too big to continue kissing Tom. She pulled away, throwing her arms around him, and held on tight while their friends, family, and loved ones continued to cheer behind them.
"I love you, Mrs. Chandler," Tom said, resting his forehead against hers as Sam and Ashley barreled into them in excitement.
"And I, you, Mr. Chandler," she whispered back, and captured his lips in another kiss.
"Are you ready for this?" Tom asked, eyes flickering over her head to where several hundred people were waiting to congratulate them.
But Rachel just nodded.
"With you by my side? I'm ready for anything."
"Then let's go start our lives together, Mrs. Chandler."
Rachel grinned the grin that Tom loved so much. Her eyes crinkled with happiness and her dimples were on full display, her flushed cheeks stretched wide with happiness.
She liked the sound of that.