Ever since the moment Gwen had seen the Lizard again, bigger, stronger, and scarier than ever, she had felt as though she was treading water in the middle of the ocean. A feeling of dread sweeping her in and pulling her down, never letting her go. To make matters worse, every time she felt as though she had finally managed to glimpse the shore ahead of her, a hidden current came in and swept her back out to sea again.

The current had gripped her the first time when Noir had pulled off his mask and the face that stared back at her was Peter's. Not B's face, not even the face of the Peter of the universe she was in now (the one she had also let die), but Peter.

Her Peter.

Her Peter with his too-emotive eyes, washed out as they were with the gray color that they were now, his violently scarred skin as white as her costume, and his (terrible) hair as black as night, but still Peter. It was like a fairy-tale. It was like a dream.

It was like seeing a ghost come back to haunt her for her sins.

Then he began speaking and he didn't talk like her Peter. The emotion was hidden when he spoke, the emotional cadence that she had come to expect from Peter just not there. He referred to Jeff as 'sir,' and his tone was polite and almost empty. That was, of course, until they finally pressured Peter enough that he finally spilled, and his words were violent, and the emotions behind them were sharp and bitter. They cut into her like a knife, biting deep into her soul, and reminding her of the last time Peter spoke to her. They had his tone.

The current dragged her deeper.

She was barely treading water, keeping herself afloat mainly for Miles and Peni, who were both younger than her, and were both so hurt. She had to stay strong, she couldn't let them down, and Gwen herself had been fighting her emotions down for years. She could do this.

Then Peter revealed that he was like the Lizard, that he was on a slow road to changing, and all of the fear, all of the horror, all of the pain washed right back in, and pulled her under. She had given voice to the fear, to the anguish that was bubbling right underneath the surface, before almost immediately swallowing it back down again. It burned her, deep in her chest, and she knew that if she opened her mouth again, she'd only start screaming.

B pulled her up from the water, asking questions she hadn't thought of, giving her hope. And then Peter opened his mouth. His intentions bared before them, Gwen felt all light leave her as the current gave her a furious jerk, pulling her down and rolling her under. Deep, deep, deep, spinning in a way that left her breathless and unable to speak, unable to give voice to the emotion in her chest, to her denial. B and Porker both began talking then, slowly bringing Peter down from the ledge he had been standing on, slowly warming her soul, even as Peter spoke to something else that cut her deep.

"I'd want to die," four words, spoken with such intent, and such heavy certainty that it was like a punch to the gut, and more importantly, to the understanding that she thought she had had. The sob she finally let out was choked and horrified, but it was Porker this time who reached out and caught her, pulled her head up from under the waves and held her close. Porker, who was warm and solid, giving her an anchor-point that allowed her to calm down, his voice gentle and soothing, but firm, and such a balm to her soul. He gave her hope, and she could see the slightest stirrings of it in Peter.

Peter who stared at Porker with a mix of fear and desperation. Peter who spoke of not being able to hope anymore, of the fear that held him back, that didn't know what a hug was.

It was her Peter, but her Peter that had been put through so much, driven to the brink and then thrown out into an abyss with no hope of reaching land. Her Peter that had been drowning for longer than Gwen wanted to consider, held under the water by pain, and fear, and so much despair that he had given up on hoping.

It was only as Peter finally managed to hug Rio back that she started to think that maybe things would be okay.

But that current just kept coming back. Understanding how the Goobers worked. Blackened and broken ribs, bruising that covered the length of his back, heroin, needing B in order to help him get clean and change, and his refusal to sleep near them all tugged her out further and further. By the time everyone was supposed to be asleep, Gwen was drowning.

Peni seemed to be drowning as well, but instead of Gwen's inability to move, of her fear, Peni moved towards Peter. Peni was pulled up to him, leaped into his arms, and Gwen felt the hot knife of her own inability to act twist.

Gwen couldn't even comfort her best friend. What use was she?

Gwen stood up, stumbling away from the still-sleeping B and Porker, making her way out of the window and gasping for breath as air hit her face. Gwen crawled out of the window, pressing herself against the wall as she just tried to breathe, to fight back the tears that were rising up in her throat to choke her. Now wasn't the time. She had to stay strong, she was the oldest aside from Peter, she had to keep her head up. She could do this. She could do this.

Gwen climbed her way up the two-story townhouse, perching on the roof and just breathing. She focused on the feel of her lungs expanding for six seconds, and then let the air out, six seconds. She kept at it, fighting down the mounting panic, the anguish. She had finally begun to close everything down, when a sudden voice quietly called out,

"Gwen?"

Gwen jumped, looking down to see B crawling up the side of the house towards her. For a moment she felt like running, seeing that older face of her once-friend staring up at her with the same concern that she would see in his eyes, and she…

"Gwen, shh," B said softly, finally sitting level with her on the roof, reaching out and gently brushing away the tears that she hadn't even noticed were falling. "It's okay," he said gently. Gwen looked away, pulling her face away from his touch and wiping her eyes. For a moment there was silence between the two of them, B looking out at the city, and Gwen looking down at her hands. She couldn't look at him. Couldn't look at a face that should have stopped aging a long time ago. Couldn't look at the wrinkles, at the stress, at the gray in his hair…

"You know," B said suddenly, his voice still mindfully soft, keeping in mind the people that might be sleeping below, breaking Gwen of her thoughts. "In my universe…" he looked at her, and Gwen felt her heart clench. Those eyes were sad as they stared at her, something like loss in their depths, but there was such an air of fondness there, somehow, that she didn't know what to feel. "In my universe…you died," he finally finished, and his voice was so gentle.

Gwen felt her heart stop.

B leaned forward against his upraised knees, wrapping his arms around them. The pose was so familiar, but suddenly, instead of the ache that she had felt before, the question of what she did that his Gwen had rose up instead. Gwen stared at him quietly, waiting for him to continue, sensing that he was building himself up to it. She wiped at her eyes, staring out at the city with him, focusing back on her breathing.

"Goblin killed her." Gwen froze, looking at him with wide eyes. "He threw her off a bridge, and I…tried to catch her with my webs, but I…I couldn't save her." Gwen was silent, her eyebrows pinching. "It felt like a knife digging into my soul," B said softly. "Honestly, sometimes it still feels like that. She was…well, in a lot of ways she was my rock. She knew who I was, all of what I was, and she still…" he took a breath, and then looked at her. "I see her in you, you know. The same spark, the same spirit, the same determination to get up and keep fighting and fighting and fighting." He smiled. "It makes me happy, you know? The idea that somewhere out there another Gwen lives and breathes, and she's doing so well, she's fighting so hard. She's out there living her best life." Gwen gave a choked laugh at the cheesy smile he gave her, wiping away the tears. There was something about the way he said it, something about the fondness that made her believe him. Something about the earnestness that caused a swell of pride to rise up in her soul along with that bubble of empathy. There was something almost healing in his outlook, and she found herself trying to cling to it.

But she found that it didn't stick.

His grin faded finally, looking back at the city.

"It's not like that with us, is it?" He asked, and her heart lurched. "Me and the other Peters. You can't really look at us and think we're living our best lives, can you?"

Gwen felt that current start to tug again, her heart lurching in denial and anguish.

"Aside from Porker, maybe," he said, and the sudden statement made Gwen choke on laughter, not the tears she had expected. "What?" B asked, grinning at her, "he's got it pretty put together, I think." Gwen laughed, a bright burst of laughter, and thought with a pang that her Peter could do that, too. Could bring a laugh out of her no matter how hurt she was, and that fact stung, too, but it was starting to be a good kind of hurt, a healing kind of hurt.

"But I know that I'm not, Gwen, and that's okay," Gwen opened her mouth again as he said this, feeling the frown pull at her mouth, the bubble of denial that tried to rise out of her mouth, on principle more than actual belief, but he put a hand up. "Hey, no. You don't have to defend me, or tell me that I'm not a mess, I know what I am, Gwen, I know what I was." It the way he said this, combined with the way that he looked at her, that made Gwen know that B had known his Gwen as well as she had known her Peter. He could still read her no matter how many years removed he was from her death. He still knew her. "And I…I really am doing so much better," he continued, and the look on his face… "I'm doing so much better. But…I wasn't." He gave a self-depreciating smile, and the look was so Peter, so Peter, from the slight crooked smile, to the way he raised just the inner-most section of his eyebrows, that little lean-in he did towards her as though he was about to give her the secrets to the universe.

"But you know what?" he continued softly, still staring at her with that smile, and she found herself shaking her head, something rising up in her chest that felt like hope. "I'm still here, Gwen," he said, his voice so gentle, so sure. "I'm still here, and I'm still fighting, and right now? Right now, I really am living my best life. It might not always be pretty, and it might not always be a straight upward climb, but I'm here. And I have all of you to thank for that." He took a breath, leaning back, Gwen fixated on his every word with a light building up in her soul in a way she hadn't felt… "I forgot, Gwen. I forgot what it was to be Spider-Man. I forgot why I loved it so much. I forgot why I loved…so much." He took a breath, and his expression was so gentle. "You guys all reminded me. All of you. Every single one of you stood up and you all did so much to remind me." His head tilted slightly. "And if you all can remind me, can remind this janky-hobo-Spider-Man," his voice was laughing, teasing, and Gwen felt her heat swell, a giggle escaping even as she ducked her head, "then how much chance does Pete have at avoiding that?"

Gwen looked away, biting at her lip gently, finding another pool of doubt within her that she didn't know what to do with. A hand on her shoulder startled her, and she looked back into brown eyes that were watching her closely. "Come on," he said softly. "I just bared my soul here, give me something," he teased gently, shaking her slightly. Gwen gave a soft laugh, looking away, and finally, quietly.

"He said…he said he wanted to die," Gwen finally managed to choke out, her eyebrows pinching, tears welling up in her throat, choking them back. She found she couldn't continue, the words dying on her tongue, a mounting frustration at her own inability rising up in her, anger and fear rising.

"I would, too," B said suddenly, giving a slight nod, and Gwen choked, taken aback and caught off-guard, turning to look at him with wide and horrified eyes, tears welling up in their corners.

"But…"

"Shh, Gwen, listen. If I thought that I was going to become a monster, and if it was my life for yours? I'd give it in a second, no hesitation." He snapped his fingers in demonstration, "like that. That's what Pete is currently living with. That's the feeling that he has rising up in his skull, this fear that he's going to kill the people he loves." Gwen brought both hands up to her face, trying to physically shove the tears back, choke them down. B took her hands in his then, pulling them gently away, and when she finally made eye-contact, his eyes were so gentle, so kind.

"But Gwen, you'd do the same thing for me. Miles would, Peni would, Porker would, Pete would. All of us, we all would. All of us were willing to do it before with the collider, weren't we? And while this is different in a way, I know that, this is something where it doesn't feel like life-or-death to us. This is something where the thing we're fighting against isn't something we can see. It's something that's in Pete, and that's scary, but listen." He shifted so he was crouched in front of her, hunched so he could look in her eyes directly, his smile so soft, and so sure, and she caught those eyes and held them, a lighthouse in the dark of the water, rising up above the crashing waves and guiding her to shore. "When he has so many people here, so many people that have his back, that would catch him if he falls, that love him so much… How on earth can he fall that far?"

Gwen broke.

The tears came forth like water bursting from a dam, strangled sobs rising up from within her, and B was suddenly holding her, hugging her tight and pulling her close, hushing her as his hand ran through her hair. His thumb found the shaved-half of her head and ran in circles along the stubble, soothing her, while at the same time giving her a grounding point. Gwen threw her arms around him, and he adjusted his hold on her, moving her so she was able to almost disappear into his arms, and it was…

Hugging B wasn't like hugging Peter, not exactly. Peter hadn't had the strength that B did, hadn't had that internal spider-strength that allowed B to hold her that firmly, to press her that close, and he certainly hadn't had B's extra-padding, but that didn't change the intent behind it. That didn't change the way that his arms wrapped around her so tightly made her feel as though she had finally found a buoy to cling to in the middle of the ocean, a break on her way to the shore, and above all… His arms felt like she had found home. She had found home and safety in a whispered conversation on a rooftop in a world that wasn't her own.

B was Peter.

Her Peter was dead. He was dead he was dead, but here was Peter, and inside the house below her, Peter was there, too. Two other Peters were in the house below, though one was a pig, and that was still odd, but he had held her the same, had been so constant and so warm, a life-raft that kept her head up, that gave her a moment of safety. Three Peters were still fighting, were still there, and were still living their lives, even though one might need help to live his best life. She had failed two already. She wouldn't fail any of these.

She wouldn't fail Peter again.

When Gwen finally gained control, when the hitched sobs and low keens had finally stopped, she felt wrung out and raw, B's hold on her finally gentling. He shifted her slightly in his arms, so carefully, and Gwen came to realize the damp patch of tears and snot and drool she had made all over his shirt. She felt her face heat, and she kept her head down, but B just hushed her gently.

"It's alright, Gwen. I'm just glad you let all of that come out. It's not good to keep it in like that."

"I've…I've gotta be strong for…for Miles, and for Peni, and for…" she managed softly, hiccupping, falling silent, struggling to find the words.

"Well, you don't have to be strong for me, okay, Gwen? I've got you and it's going to be okay. It's going to be okay." B pressed a kiss to the top of her head, and it reminded her so much of her dad, so much of the way he talked to her, and she pressed her ear to his chest, listening to the too-fast thump of a Spider's heartbeat. The more she listened though, the more she thought, the more guilt tugged at her heart, the more she realized that there was still more to say, and she needed to say it now before she drifted off.

"I have to apologize," she finally started softly, pressing on when B started to protest. "I said…I said something cruel, when we were trying to help Peter…in Peni's world?" She heard B give a slightly inquisitive noise, and Gwen finally pulled back, meeting confused brown eyes with intense blue ones, doing her best to fill all of her certainty and all of her gratefulness into just her gaze alone. "I was wrong. What I said about taking Peter to MJ, when he was…when we couldn't decide where to take him, and how to help him? About how if you did that you wouldn't have…you wouldn't have to worry about kids anymore?"

"Oh," B said, and his voice held realization, his eyebrows knitting slightly, even as he shook his head. "You don't have to…"

"No, wait, I'm not finished," Gwen pushed, silencing any protests, seeing the slight sting that her words had left within him on his face, and refusing to let that stay. "B, I was wrong. I was so wrong and it's…it's not just because what I said was cruel, even though it was. It was very cruel and I'm so sorry… But it's not because of that, it's because you would make a great dad, B. You would be an amazing dad and any kid…that was lucky enough to have you…you'd be so good." She held him again, recognizing the hesitancy in him, even as his arms came up automatically to wrap around her.

She hadn't told him the full truth. She hadn't told him about the deaths that weighed on her conscience, of the blow that she had struck, but that was for her. That was her penance, her drive to do better. She found his heartbeat again, pressing close, and felt herself slowly drifting to sleep, buoyed by his warmth and the words that he spoke, and the fact that his heart was beating.

Gwen woke up the next day with hope budding in her chest for the first time in what felt like ages, and not even the rude awakening of her 'pillow' suddenly jumping nine-or-so feet into the air and sending her sprawling could shake that. She attacked Miles with a pillow when given the go-ahead by his dad, keeping gentle enough that she wouldn't hurt a normal human, while at the same time being sure to get in a few good whacks. She was happy. She felt like the buoy had taken her all the way to shore, finally finding refuge among the rocks from the current that had pulled at her so harshly.

Peni calling Pete "oniichan" was another hint that things would be okay, the 'big brother' translation from her (shameful) years of watching anime buzzing in her heart. It was perfect, really. It fit the relationship that she could see forming. A relationship that she wanted.

As the morning progressed Gwen decided that she really had made it to the shore, that she could finally rest. Peter had friends, he had them, and they were all willing and able to protect each other. Even Jeff and Rio, two new faces that still gave them such love, people she never would have expected were welcoming them into their home, feeding them, sheltering them…

Gwen had never been more wrong.

Just as Gwen thought she had found safety, just as she thought she had found control…the current gripped her one more time. This time the current dragged her so far deep, and so far under, she didn't think she'd ever find the shore again.

"It breathes," Peter said, standing in front of Jeff with his arms slightly raised, wide-eyed and so…scared, and that's when she saw it. What she had thought of as wind blew through Peter's hair, through his shirt, sending both billowing slightly in the dramatic way that she had just thought of as weird, but him and left at that. Just as suddenly as she had noticed it, the wind changed direction, and Gwen came to realize that she had never felt true fear before.

Gwen had been afraid before. She had feared for her life and for the lives of others. She had felt the surge of adrenaline racing through her veins every time she threw herself into harms way in order to protect someone else. She had stared death itself in the face and she had swung away, playing a dangerous game with the inevitable. But never, in all her years of living, had the sight of something so small scared such a primal part of her being more than in those two seconds of staring.

There was something there.

Jeff had been trained how to function in times of fear. He had been trained in how to handle gunfire of every caliber, how to deal with hostage situations, ransom demands, bomb-threats, and because this was New York, how to handle almost every super villain attack a person could think of. He had been drilled in what to do with the feeling of nervous tension that grew along the back of your spine, how to keep a level head, and how to do his best to make sure that civilians were safe and protected.

In that moment, staring at Pete as his clothes and his hair drifted back and forth in a wind he couldn't feel, but could see, the smell of rain cloying and heavy in his nostrils, Jeff forgot all that he knew. He forgot every drill he had ever learned, staring at the impossible, and above all, staring at Pete's face.

Pete's eyes were wide, pupils dilated to the point where the iris was a thin silver ring around black, his breath harsh and panting, skin tacky with sweat, and Jeff knew what that expression was. That expression was terror. Pure, unadulterated terror. And Jeff had just walked right into range of whatever was causing it.

Jeff froze. Like some kind of rookie, like some sort of…inexperienced rookie, staring back at Pete, even as those eyes drifted away from him, and focused up and up and up. Silver-ringed black stared at the ceiling and his hand slowly reached out, pressing against Jeff's chest and beginning to move him back. Jeff followed the prompting without conscious thought, backing away where that hand pushed him, his heart beating a staccato rhythm. Pete froze suddenly, flinching down, his hand fisting over Jeff's heart in the cloth, his body leaning into him without touching him.

The sudden realization that Pete was putting his own back in between Jeff and whatever was standing in his living room crossed his mind, and for a moment he wanted to struggle, but that reaction was stomped down as soon as another realization took its place.

Jeff couldn't see it. He couldn't feel its breath even though he could see what it was doing to Pete. He couldn't touch it. Whatever it was that was there, Jeff could do nothing to it. The ones that were behind him, the ones that were staring with a similar horror, they had all recognized that as well. Had likely understood that moving like Jeff had would only lead to someone getting hurt. Possibly even killed should that thing decide that their attempts were enough to warrant some kind of lesson. They were too close. They were too close. That was the moment when Pete froze, his head tilting back as though something had hooked under his chin, pulling his head back. Jeff gripped hold of Pete's shirt without even thinking about it, wanting to pull him away, pull him back. Pete's eyes focused on his, desperation, and sheer… Jeff felt as though he had stared into the void and it had called his name.

What the hell had that kid brought with him? What was in his house?

Pete focused behind Jeff then, to his family and his fellow Spiders that all stood there, his eyes drifting from one terrified and yet angry face to the other, and he looked like he might weep. Those eyes flicked back to Jeff then, and a resolve the likes of which Jeff had never seen before spread across that white face.

"Please," Pete said, the word choked and so desperate it hit Jeff like a blow to the chest. "Please," he said again, and he let go of Jeff's shirt, taking a hold of his wrist instead. Jeff found himself letting go without realizing, Pete taking slow step after step back, his head still tilted. For a moment nothing changed, Jeff not knowing or understanding what it was that Pete was asking for… And then something happened that Jeff would find himself revisiting in his nightmares for years to come.

Jeff watched as those dilated pupils slowly began expanding until they completely eclipsed the whole of Pete's eye. The young Spider blinked, his mouth tight, skin clammy with pain, and then he stumbled forward as though pushed. Jeff caught Pete in his arms before the other could hit the ground. Black eyes, empty as the abyss stared into his soul unseeing, and blinked.

Black trailed from those eyes, black liquid that bubbled up like tar, like…like blood. It was blood. Blood that trailed down his face like tears, and Pete opened his mouth, and Jeff was horrified to find that there was blood there, too. Black and sticky it dribbled down his chin, down from his nose, and Pete gave a sound like a sob.

"It's okay," Pete gasped out, blood bubbling in his throat. "It's okay, it's gone, it's gone, it's gone. It won't…it won't touch you, or your family…" he managed to choke out, swallowing black, even as Jeff felt it coat his hands, slide down his wrists, his arms. Oh god, oh god. There was so much of it… "I just gave it…another piece… You'll…be safe," he whispered, and Jeff felt his heart lurch. "I'm…so sorry… I didn't think…it'd actually…follow me here…" Those black eyes stared at him, blinked once, and then closed, and Jeff felt as the kid slumped into his hold fully, consciousness leaving him completely.

Jeff had a moment to realize that he could no longer smell rain, that the wind that had plagued Pete was gone, and then he was being swarmed by Spiders.

Parker was first, actually leaping over Jeff and Pete, just narrowly missing the doorframe, landing in a crouch and moving through the living room quickly, trying to see if he could feel anything. The second to come to him was Gwen, blue eyes wide and so horrified, but she brought herself into position to defend them should something come back. Porker joined Parker in the living room, swinging that mallet around with enough care that he didn't smash anything, but neither of them hit anything. They turned to look at Jeff and the rest of his family with wide and confused eyes, shaking their heads in denial. Peni was last, and that was the moment when the front door burst open. Gwen, Miles, and Rio all screamed, though Gwen recovered quickly enough to place herself in front of Jeff and Pete, everyone's attention focusing on the door, even as Peter B and Porker both brought their bodies into a fighting stance, staring at the nothing that had opened it.

"Wait!" Peni cried out, moving forward, and the door swung shut then, and a large red and blue…robot suddenly materialized inside of their living room. Peni ran towards it, the robot seeing Peni, and then turning its attention to Pete with a sad-sounding beep. Peni leapt into the air, the robot opening a hatch that she fell into, before it closed and the robot with Peni inside of it held both arms up in a ready stance.

"Scanning for anything unnatural!" Peni cried out, her voice modified through the filter inside of the robot as slowly but surely the robot made a 360 rotation, those hands leading her turn. Everyone waited, watching with bated breath, and then the robot began alerting. Jeff realized that it was looking at him and Pete and he felt his heart stop. He tensed, for a moment certain that it was still there, that it hadn't left…Peni suddenly gave a loud and angry exclamation. "Stop that!" she cried out. "Stop that, he's not unnatural!"

The sudden realization that the robot had alerted to Pete struck Jeff in the chest.

What on earth was going on that the robot alerted to someone who still looked functionally human and ignored the pig entirely? Jeff hiked Pete up further in his arms, carrying him bridal style, looking down at the still form in his arms with a stirring in his heart that he wasn't willing to examine just yet, watching that blood trickle down his face…

The sudden realization that Pete was still bleeding hit him, and he hurriedly placed him on the tiled-ground of the kitchen, tilting him into a recovery position. Blood that had been trapped in his mouth pooled to the ground beneath him, and Jeff cursed quietly under his breath in Spanish. He lifted Pete's head slightly, tilting it down and doing his best to make sure that his airway remained as free as possible.

Rio ran towards their shared room, coming back holding her personal medical bag that she took to the hospital with her, and pulling out her stethoscope from within, tossing the rest of it to the side. She slid next to him on her knees, putting the earpieces in her ears as Jeff shifted his hold on Pete so his back was exposed to Rio. Pulling Pete's shirt up and out of the way, Rio pressed the diaphragm against the still black-mottled back, listening to his lungs.

Gwen had fallen into a crouch beside them, her blue eyes still flashing every which way, still alert, still afraid and ready for action, but also very obviously still painfully worried for her friend.

The robot finally gave a brief beep, and Peni reported quietly, "There's nothing else here. We're alone. Whatever was here…it's gone now…"

"Why would it just vanish like that?" Rio asked, horror in her voice. "Why would it show up to begin with? What…what was it after?"

There was silence for a moment, confusion, and so much fear filling it, and finally Jeff broke it.

"He said he gave it a piece," he said, his voice low. Rio jerked her head up to look at him. "I don't know what exactly he meant," he continued, his voice soft, a mixture of horror, gratefulness, and something fiercely protective rising up within him. Because this kid, no matter what he brought with him, no matter the fact that he was something that Jeff didn't really agree with…this kid was willing to sacrifice a part of something in order to keep Jeff's family safe. He was willing to bleed, to hurt, just to keep them safe. Jeff thought he knew what Pete gave up, but he wasn't sure.

Jeff had questions. He had so many questions, so many things he was worried about. But right now, he had a kid bleeding out on his floor, a kid that had given something up for his friends, for a group of almost-strangers. That was something that Jeff was not going to forget in a hurry.

Rio finally looked up at him with confusion on her face, shaking her head in answer to the obvious question of blood in his lungs. She began running through other tests, tapping for reflexes, which were sharp, and then peeling back the lid of a single eye. Jeff tensed at the sight of pure black that stared up at him, that silver and white gone. Rio hissed, immediately running to the counter by the sink and pulling out the small LED flashlight that they kept in a drawer for emergencies.

Porker had returned to them, his mallet missing, and his expression quietly troubled. When Rio returned, she once again peeled back his eyelid, the obvious intention being to check his eye, likely to see if it was ruptured vessels or if it was something else. That was the moment when Porker gave a sudden sound of recognition.

"Wait!" He said, before Rio could shine the light in his eye. They waited, watching. The other Spiders moved closer, huddling around their fallen friend who was still bleeding, bleeding, bleeding. Porker stared into that eye for a moment, familiarity shining in blue eyes. "He's a Jumper," Porker finally hissed out, recognition and certainty filling his voice and his expression, looking up at them. "His type. I was a Weaver, he…he's a Jumper. It's twisting him. I think if you shine that light in there, the only thing you're going to do is temporarily blind that eye. That might…that might just be what we're going to have to learn to live with."

Jeff looked around at them, catching the horror and the quiet terror that was filling them, and then caught a glimpse of Miles. Miles who was standing outside of the circle, Miles that was holding his hands to his face, and so still. Jeff didn't know what expression his face fell into, but he saw when Parker noticed.

Jeff was covered in blood and he wouldn't touch his son if he could help it, his wife in a similar situation, her arms and hands splattered with it, painting them both a patchwork of gore. Parker was not, and he shot a glance from Miles to Jeff and his expression was enough that Jeff gave an immediate nod. Parker picked Miles up in the same way he had picked up Peni before him. Miles clung onto Parker, and Parker hiked him up a little, shushing him. Gwen was next, wrapping them both in a hug, Porker himself leaping up to cling to them. Peni suddenly shot out of the hatch like a bullet, colliding into Parker with enough force to make him almost stagger, but he rallied quickly and slung an arm back around Peni, hiking her up on his other hip, Gwen and Porker making room as easily as breathing.

"It'll be okay, kid," Parker whispered. "He's hard-boiled," he said, his voice cracking with something like a laugh, a sound that surprised Jeff, but he could visibly see the other Spiders relaxing, their bodies leaking tension. Miles was visibly grinning in the sudden group-hug he had found himself in, relaxing against the body that held him. "He'll be okay, this has been happening for over a year, right, remember? And he's not dead yet…so he…he'll be okay," Parker reaffirmed, and there was something very reassuring in those words.

Belief.

Parker believed what he was saying, and belief went very far in comforting someone who was hurting, even if it wasn't always genuine.

Rio paused in her examination, quiet questions whispered to Porker when he joined her after leaving the group-hug, the pig quietly whispering back, and finally she looked back up to Jeff, her eyebrows knitting slightly. "He's no longer bleeding," she said, and as Jeff looked, he noticed it was true. Pete didn't stir, blood still coated his face, ran in lines down from his eyes, from his mouth, from his nose, but there was nothing else coming up, dried, flaking trails the only thing left.

It had stopped. Just as suddenly as it had started…it had stopped.

"That. Is freaky," Porker finally said very stiffly, and there was a momentary scoff.

"What about the last five minutes wasn't freaky?" Miles asked, and there was a brief thoughtful hum from the pig, who finally gave a brief shrug.

"I got nothin'," he said, and Miles laughed, a great release of tension that was better than the tears that Jeff had been expecting. It led to more laughter, a slightly hysterical thing that bubbled out of Gwen and Peni, Parker and Porker just looking vaguely fond.

There was still tension there, a puddle of blood on the ground, and a still body lying in their kitchen. But they were all still here. And whatever that thing was…whatever it was…it was gone. Thanks to a sacrifice from a teenager that had already given up so much already. Jeff frowned slightly, catching Parker's gaze again, finding the same kind of wariness in his eyes, but he was holding the kids, and at the moment, keeping them calm was the best course of action. They'd deal with everything else later, when they could talk together without fear that they would only be pulling the kids further into anxiety.

It wasn't that Jeff didn't think they could take it. They were superheroes, it was their job to take it. But in this case…in this case he felt it was best that they didn't have to. Because they didn't have to. Not just yet.

They needed to talk to Pete. They needed to understand just what it was that was happening, just what it was that was following him.

They needed to find a way to get it to back the hell off.

Rio stood up finally, walking over to the sink and coming back with a warm washcloth, which she used to clean up Pete's face, Jeff helping her by holding him steady and finally scooping him up in his arms once his face was clean in that bridal-carry he had attempted before. Rio helped press Pete's head against Jeff's shoulder, adjusting him so he wasn't lolling in a way that would injure his neck. The once white cartoon-covered pajamas were stained with black, sticky against his chest and arms. Pete himself sagged against him like dead-weight, his breath sticky in his throat from leftover blood, but with the assurance that there wasn't any in his lungs came a feeling of safety. Pete would be okay, they could wash that out later, he wasn't going to suffocate if he held him like this.

He made eye-contact with Parker, the other man hesitating, before giving a sharp nod.

"Alright, kiddos, down." He said, and Gwen and Porker both gave a sound of complaint, Porker having immediately leapt back into the hug after Rio pronounced him stable, before complying. Miles and Peni both looked at him with raised eyebrows. Parker rolled his eyes excessively and finally crouched down so they could both clamber down easily. Parker stood up then and followed Jeff to the bathroom. Parker turned on the faucet in the shower-tub combo they had, plugging the drain after he adjusted the temperature.

Porker came in carrying another pair of pajamas, setting them folded up on the closed lid of the toilet. He hesitated a moment and then patted both Jeff and Parker on the calf, his expression as grim as Jeff had ever seen it, but he got the message. They were all worried. Jeff hesitated before transferring Pete into Parker's hold when he held his arms up. Parker had been the one allowed take care of him the last time, for obvious reasons, but there was a part of Jeff that felt very protective of the kid in his arms.

None of this had gone according to how Jeff pictured. They would have to get a full explanation before Jeff would rule it to be okay, but at least they would know.

Jeff finally transferred him over into Parker's hold, the man giving him a sharp nod before Jeff left the bathroom, leaving Pete in Parker's charge, Porker leaving as well after waving around a second shirt and pointing to Parker, before pointing back to the shirt. Rio had already gone upstairs to use the shower when he got out of the bathroom; he could hear the water running. Porker moved to remake Parker's concoction in order to clean the blood from the tile, speaking to the other Spiders and Miles quietly, cracking jokes and bleeding tension from them.

Jeff sighed, looked at the blood on his own hands, and finally left to clean himself. He trusted his kids with them. He trusted Miles with them. Too much had happened, and he had already seen them leap into position to protect him and his family.

It was gone.

They just had to make sure it didn't come back.

It was odd, Peter B reflected to himself, how suddenly adrenaline could fade after a fright, and how often it led to a lazy, almost listless feeling when it wasn't given anything to act against. There was still a vague feeling of concern as Pete had yet to wake up, but there was nothing that suggested he wouldn't eventually wake up. Over a year, Pete had said, over a year. Peter B didn't know how often this had happened, whether Pete had come out of the web he had mentioned fully-formed as the Spider he was now, or whether it had been a slow, gradual process. Either way, he didn't expect for his temporary lack of consciousness to have long-term detrimental effects.

Peter B sighed, pulling the plug from the drain for the second time. Black swirled and ebbed as it drained, Peter B giving it a hard look, frowning. There'd been so much blood.

"Gotta say, bud," he said softly, looking to the still form lying in the tub, "I'm getting kinda tired of you bleeding everywhere. Not that it's your fault, but dang. Can we work on keeping that stuff inside of your body, or is that a tall order?" He paused, taking in closed lids and a slightly twisted mouth and gave a slight grin. "Tall order, I get it buddy. I really do."

He refilled the tub once more until there was two inches of water swirling around him, the largest amount he could risk in order to avoid getting Pete's stitches wet, though he assumed they could be removed by now. Finally taking the washcloth and actively doing his best to clear the blood away, now that it wasn't immediately staining the water. His hands had finally stopped shaking, leftover adrenaline leaving him in a way that would have led to exhaustion if he wasn't quite so used to the feeling. He focused on other things, namely quipping and gentle motions that did their best to not irritate healing bruises.

It was an odd experience, really. Like looking at himself twenty years ago, only with more scars and completely bleached. His bones had never jutted out quite that prominently, the ridges of his spine never dug in so harshly, his ribs that pronounced, but they had come close. Like with Miles, the only thing he could really think of in this situation was hoping that the kid could do better than he did.

In a lot of ways, he thought that Pete would have a harder time staying away from his mistakes if only for the simple fact that the kid was him, but he could still hope. And better than hoping, he could do his best to guide him through certain things. There was no doubt that in a lot of ways the kid had it much worse than he ever did. But fuck if he wasn't going to try his best.

And that, as much as he wanted to avoid it, brought him back to the conversation with Gwen. "A great dad," she had said, and it had burned him.

It had run through his mind so many times, his heart beating fast in his chest, that by the time he finally stood up last night, the tears Gwen had left on his shirt had dried. It had come out of nowhere, and a part of Peter B had never felt more flattered… The other part of him had never felt like more of a failure. If he could have been that good…why had he fought it so much? Why had he let the fear drive him away as long as he had? Would he even really be that good? Peter B still didn't think so, but maybe… Peter B took those thoughts and temporarily locked them in a box. There was too much going on right now. He'd deal with things as they came first and have an existential crisis about his own capacity to be a father later.

Peter B finished with the washcloth and went at that choppy hair with soap, deciding that this kid needed a haircut somehow. That was just embarrassing. When Pete was finally clean, Peter B pulled the plug for the final time, hoisting Pete's body up and onto a few towels he'd picked out already, scrubbing him as dry as possible before dressing him. Though, Peter B left the shirt off of Pete so Rio could get at his bandages in order to redress them should she need to. Peter B threw on his own new shirt Porker had given him after doing a quick scrub to wash away the black that he hadn't managed to quite clean up before focusing his attention on cleaning Pete, and finally backed his way out of the bathroom, holding Pete steady.

Peter B turned around to see the kids and Porker all cuddled up on the ground, waiting, Jeff and Rio both situated near them. Peter B felt himself smile, a warm feeling rising up within him at the sight.

There were a few things that had saved him when Peter B had been younger. The first were the friendly street-vendors that always attempted to give a young Spider-Man as much free food as possible in gratitude after he saved them. Peter B remembered all of them fondly and always did his best to swing by and check on them when he could. Those that were still alive, that was. Most of the time their families passed down the tradition and were always there to welcome him with a hotdog and a smile, or something similar, sharing members of the ones they had lost quietly when the mood struck.

The second was his friends, his Team.

Matt Murdock and Wade Wilson. Team Red with all of its idiosyncrasies tied together over alliteration and a similar position at the fringe of tight-wearing superheroes. Wade in particular had a tendency to always bring food to their meetups, more than enough for the three of them, and it had become such a regular occurrence that Peter B knew that he'd never wind up starving.

Peter B didn't know if Pete had access to people that could give him any of the handouts that Peter B had enjoyed, but he did know that there were at least four people that would be completely ready to feed him should he need it. There was a Team that they had made here, and while Porker's food was strange, it would probably still work. Gwen and Peni had parents that likely made their own food choices for them, and he wasn't about to rely on strangers he didn't know, but he knew at least Jeff and Rio might be willing if he proposed something.

But first he had to make sure that whatever it was that was following Pete really wasn't going to be more of a threat. In that case, Peter B would have to find a way to stretch his budget enough to accommodate another Spider. He wasn't willing to bring Miles' family into it, not until he was certain things would be okay. He thought so, he trusted Peni, and he trusted Pete's word, but that had been…something Peter B hadn't been prepared for. It had been so surreal, standing there and staring at Pete as he tried to push Jeff away from something that only he could see, Peter B finding himself trapped in a limbo of indecision. Peter B had wanted to act, his body tense and angry and so, so afraid, but he couldn't do anything to something he couldn't see. Not when it was that close to Jeff and Pete. Not when any action Peter B might have taken could have been countered in such a way that hurt the ones that Peter B wanted to save. So, he had watched.

It was the hardest thing he had ever had to do, and as he lay Pete down on the couch, he resolved to never do it again.

Rio took note of the bandages immediately, black as they were from the blood earlier. She peeled them back after a brief nod and a smile to Peter B, her eyes warm. Rio paused at the sight of the stitches, before looking back to Peter B, frowning in confusion.

"Cuánto tiempo debes dejarte los puntos antes de que puedan sacarlos?" she asked, Peter B frowning slightly as he did a quick head translation.

"Honestly they could probably be removed now if it were me," Peter B responded. "Most of the time wounds like that need just a little help before they seal up nicely on their own. If it looks like it's healed, it probably is."

Rio gave the stitches a quiet examination, prodding gently at the skin around them, and finally shaking her head with a quiet sound. "I don't believe it."

"There's some perks to the whole spider-bite thing," Peter B grinned. "But I don't recommend removing them just yet…" he hesitated, "sharp objects near him while he's unconscious would probably be a bad idea."

Rio nodded in acknowledgement, sitting back on her heels, deciding to forego redressing his wounds, but leaving to get a warm washcloth to wipe away the leftover black. Peter B put Pete's shirt on after she was had returned and carefully cleaned him and patted him dry with a tea towel, Jeff helping by holding Pete in position to make it easier and threading Pete's arms through the holes. Once properly clothed they positioned him carefully on his side once again, tilting his head back to clear his airway while Rio grabbed multiple blankets, throwing them on top of him in order to keep him warm. Finally, they settled back to wait, Peter B losing himself in memory.

So much had changed. So much had stayed the same.

Peter B flinched at a hand on his shoulder, snapping out of his thoughts and turning to see Jeff crouching there holding out a mug of coffee in his other hand, expression vaguely apologetic. Peter B took it, grinning at him, and blew on it to cool the brew after giving him a quick thanks.

"I thought it wasn't possible to surprise you," Jeff said, his head tilting slightly with a slight grin.

"Oh, the Spidey-sense is only occupied with things that are a threat. If I don't think they're a threat, they're pretty lax. Basically…I trust you."

Jeff paused, staring at him with an unreadable expression before a slight smile spread. Jeff squeezed his shoulder, giving him a slight nod, before moving over towards his wife.

Peter B gave him another smile. Once again, the thought cropped up that they were good people. Miles was lucky to have parents like them. Peter B turned his attention back to the others to see that Porker had set up a card game with the kids. He didn't know what it was exactly, but he did know that Peni seemed to be getting pretty into it, slapping cards down triumphantly when she could, often to Gwen and Miles' groans. Rio was still stationed near Pete, watching for any changes. Peter B took a careful sip of his coffee, and almost as immediately put it down, focusing on Pete as his body stirred. Rio and Jeff noticed immediately, being the closest, and Jeff gave a brief, yet very relieved sigh.

"Took you long…"

Peter B leapt forward, grabbing both Rio and Jeff, one under each arm, and rolled away with them before the one lying on the couch had time to finish his grab towards the two closest people to him. Peter B let them go as carefully as he could, moving forward into position with his arms up and ready, even as the rest stumbled to their feet, moving in front of the two unenhanced humans, pushing Miles back as they did so.

Pete rolled off of the couch, his body low, hands and balls-of-his-feet on the ground, elbows and knees bent as he stayed low, staring up at them, at him, and Peter B did his best to remain Completely. Still. Black eyes stared at them almost sightlessly, his head tilting, rocking slightly back and forth as though he couldn't decide what to do.

"Pete?" Peter B finally breathed out, hoping for a bit of recognition, of a sign that he was still with them, and Pete flinched back, before scuttling his way backwards and over the couch. Pete leapt back suddenly, finding that position in the corner of the ceiling, his own arms rising up. A low hiss had started rising from Pete, his teeth bared, and those black eyes that were so unnatural and so…chilling bore directly into Peter B's.

What had it done to him?

"Disorientation is common after a loss of consciousness," Rio said suddenly, and her voice was calm, certain, even in the face of almost having been grabbed by someone who could break her bones as easily as blinking should he want to. Even in the face of those eyes and that total lack of recognition. "We just have to remind him where he is and who he's with." Rio glanced at her husband then, her hand on his arm, and Jeff nodded once. They had already been warned that his reaction to anything being too close to him was to lash out… They just hadn't been thinking. The fact that Peni had been able to sleep in the same hammock as him didn't negate the fact that Pete was still very strongly on edge, and at the moment, very vulnerable.

Porker was the one who walked forward then, carefully, taking odd little steps as he did so. Pete's head cocked slightly, before focusing on Porker. Porker in turn took a few more steps, his hooves tapping crisply as he did so. "Come on," Porker hissed out under his breath. Pete hissed at a particularly odd step, and Porker froze for a moment, staring up at the Spider that watched him closely, and Porker carefully repositioned his feet.

"Come on," Porker mumbled, glaring up at Pete. "I know it's been…thirty years since I did this…" Porker grumbled, taking a few more steps that made Pete relax slightly. "And that you're a Jumper…and no one ever talked to that half of the family, because you all were constantly on edge…no offence, I love you, kid, but you kind of fit…"

"Wait, thirty years?" Peter B asked, staring down at him with wide eyes.

"Yeah! What, did you think I was younger than you?" Porker laughed, taking a few more deliberate steps. "Nope! I've been a pig…twice the time I was a…Oooh!" Pete made a very deliberately darting movement, and Porker froze, hoof hovering above the ground. "Come on, Peter Benjamin Parker, work with me. Wake up. You can do it, just…wake up!" Peter B started to lower his arms as Pete seemed to blink, turning his focus on Porker, his head tilting, when Porker hissed at Peter B directly, "No, no! That's a perfectly good threat-display! Keep it up, keep it up, 10/10, would run away!"

"…This is a threat display?" Peter B asked, raising his arms up anyway, finding more reasons to be shocked in the past five minutes than he had since…well. Pete's own revelation, and then that fucking Spider God Thing.

"Yes!" Porker snapped at him, and then stomped his hoof again. "Come on, Peter Parker! Wake the #$% up!"

Pete jerked back as though struck and Peter B watched as that inky black that he had thought would be the new normal slowly shrunk to the size of a pinprick. The eyes they had known before that Thing showed up stared down at them, before flickering around, so quickly, darting in a way that reminded him of a trapped animal. Pete gave a very choked rasp then, swallowing thickly. His hands shakily rose up to his face, finally finding purchase in his hair and pulling, pulling… He gave a sharp gasp of breath, and finally gave a quiet, "No."

Before they could ask what he meant, before they could ask him how he was, what had happened, before they could do anything to try and stop him, Pete had jumped to the nearest window and was trying to worm his way out of it. The only thing that allowed Peter B to leap forward and catch him around the waist was the fact that he was so weak.

Peter B had already tried to pin a thrashing Pete down once before and it had almost cost him a broken jaw. The Pete then was wiry and strong and refused to give up. The Pete now was still wiry, wiry in a way he didn't like, but he was weak from compounded bloodloss and pain, eyes not properly focusing, even though his iris and sclera was visible, and while he didn't give up, he didn't have the punch.

"Let me go!" Pete snarled, and Peter B planted his feet, hooking his arms around him and bear-hugging him, fighting against the writhing, and also not saying a thing. A part of him was too surprised to really process what was happening, another part too focused on getting him to stop. Pete's thrashing was barely strong enough to twist out of his arms, let alone topple them, but Pete tried. He bucked, and thrashed, and tried to knock his head into Peter B's lip. Peter B finally decided to play dirty and sat down, hooking his legs over Pete's and crossing his own arms overtop his, pressing him tight enough to his chest to get him to stop thrashing, but not hurt him.

Pete still twisted, but the movements had gotten less frantic, and he finally went dead-still. Peter B didn't let up. He knew better, recognized a feint for what it was, feeling that creep of tension in his limbs. The others all started quietly talking to him then, Peter B not really paying attention to what they were saying, instead focused on Pete's face.

Pete's expressions were always rather muted, something almost like a buffer between him and reacting to them properly, the only instance of otherwise being the moment with that Thing, but he could see it because he knew it. He knew the line that meant anger, the slightly too-wide eyes that meant fear, the twist of a mouth that harkened to either frustration or all-out screaming. Things were about to come to a head, and Peter B thought he knew what would break first. Pete's body was trembling, and he finally just leaned his head back on Peter B's shoulder, and finally shouted out,

"Why don't you let me go?" his voice cracked, blood and spit frothing on his lips, staining his teeth. "Don't you fucking get it? Don't you see what I am? Don't you see what I have with me? Why the fuck are you still trying to keep me here? Why do you…why do you all still care?"

Jeff was the one to approach then, Jeff out of all of them, ignoring the black-flecked teeth, the eyes that practically spit venom, the sudden rage that was so unexpected after the initial disorientation, spider-like behavior, and complete incoherence. Peter B didn't mind that he was stuck trying to hold him down.

Peter B had begun to fear that Pete wouldn't speak again.

"Did you lie to me?" Jeff asked quietly. Pete jerked back as though struck, his eyes flickering over him in confusion. "Did you lie to me, about that…thing being gone? About it not hurting my family?"

"No," Pete answered, his voice filled with certainty. "It won't touch any of you. I…" he paused, his mouth open, but he hesitated in finishing the sentence.

"You gave it a piece," Jeff finished for him, and his mouth was pulled into a frown. He crouched down before Pete; his gaze soft. "A piece of what, Pete?" Peter B released Pete slowly, feeling the way that his body had gone completely limp, recognizing that the underlying tension he had felt before had left him. In its place, Pete was almost boneless against him, and Peter B finally scooped him up in a bridal carry as nothing was said, and Jeff stood back up. Pete gave a surprised hiss at the sudden movement, but didn't do much more than cling to him, though, not trusting him not to drop him. Peter B hiked him up a little higher, before carefully walking over to deposit Pete on the couch. He sat down next to him, a warning that should Pete try and escape again Peter B would catch him, and a reminder that he was there.

Pete wasn't alone, no matter how much he might feel like it. Porker climbed up on Pete's other side, pressing up against him. Rio handed him a glass of water she had gone to get, Pete finally holding it in his hands, staring into it. Jeff joined the rest around the couch, forming a small huddle around him.

"I can't tell you," Pete finally said softly.

"Why?" Jeff asked immediately.

"Yeah, why can't you tell…will it…will it punish you for telling?" Porker asked, his voice soft, a quiet horror filling his words. Pete laughed, the sound ugly and broken.

"I don't think it gives a shit who I tell. I don't think it cares when I finally bring up the fact that I'm being hunted. It just seems to find it funny," Pete hissed. They were silent, watching, waiting, recognizing that now that he took the first step, the rest would likely be easier. Pete hunched slowly, flickering his gaze from one to the other, before finally looking back at the water in his hands. He hadn't moved to drink it.

"Me," Pete finally whispered when they were just starting to think he wouldn't respond, when Peter B was trying to find another plan of attack. "I gave it a piece of me. My soul. My body." His head tilted slightly. "I told you. It's always a trade."

"You traded a piece of your body, of your soul for a family of strangers you've never met before yesterday, for a group of Spiders you've probably known for less than a week…and you're asking why we still care?" Jeff spread his hands out before him. "I think, so far…you haven't given me a good reason not to care. What about you? Can you think of a reason not to care?" He asked, and he addressed the rest of them with that question.

The chorus of 'no' that left everyone's lips was bolstering, even though Pete seemed to flinch back, his eyes desperate.

"But that's just it, don't you…don't you get it?" Pete asked, and his voice was strained. "It's a slower burn, but the outcome is the exact same as if it just…swallowed me whole."

"Is it though?" Porker asked softly. "Your eyes, kid…you were…you are…"

"Oh, you think the fact that they visually went back to normal means that everything's okay? You think the fact that they look the same is reason enough to think that it didn't take a part of me over?" Pete snarled, watching the way they shuffled slightly, Peter B recognizing the slight sting of his own guilt. He had thought that.

"You're not getting it!" Pete snarled finally. "It's not about…it's not about how I look, the only physical mutation you can see are these," he turned his wrist over, revealing that odd hole there, his spinneret. "It finds the most pleasure in turning me in ways you can't see it. It finds joy in making it so you can look at me and you couldn't tell that I'm a monster. It's not about making what it does visible, it's about letting me know what it took. It's about taunting me with the fact that bit by bit it's tearing apart my humanity. It's a drop of ink in a bucket of milk. But the ink isn't spreading, it's displacing, and soon…there won't be any milk left.

"Soon…there won't be any me left."