" Hermione! " he called out, cold air stinging his lips.
She didn't look back; instead she kept walking in a foot of snow, her thick boots giving crunching sounds as she took one step at a time.
" Please! Stop! "
And she pretended not to hear, playing another song in her head, muttering the lyrics quietly under her cold breath. She was in another warm place, like her room, alone. And she pretended she didn't know Harry or Ron, and she pretended she never met Draco at all. She wondered if she could make her daydream permanent-
" Hermione! "
" I'm in my room, " she thought. " I'm listening to some old record from grand mum's attic. I'm counting off the dust in the air…there's a little spider in the corner of the wall- I pick up a book from the floor. It's a fairytale- about the Sleeping beauty. I want to sleep away- sleep the day away- "
" Hermione stop! "
" My eyes are starting to drop, " she continued daydreaming as she picked up speed. " I know I'm heading off for my dream world- and I'll fall in love with some prince, only he can't wake me- he can't wake me- "
" You take one more step and I swear I will fucking hex you! " Draco finally shouted, exasperated, breathless, and desperate.
She froze in place.
He breathed in silent thanks. However harsh it was, it worked.
She slowly turned around.
" Hermione- how do I say this? Damn it- " he flustered. " I love you! I love you! "
Hermione looked into his eyes again. A penetrating stare that seemed to rock his very core. He felt himself grow weak with every second of silence that passed by. He breathed in deeply, willing himself to stay on his footing, willing to be in control.
" That much? " she asked, finally breaking the silence.
He nodded, grateful. " Yes, that much. So much that it hurts- "
She tried to smile, as least that was how he saw it. At least that was how he wanted it to be. See her smile, no matter how little it seemed. " I'm sorry, Draco- " she began. " I can't- I just can't- not anymore- "
" Please, " Draco began, almost choking.
She shook her head and started walking again.
" Take care of it?" Draco's voice finally said, it sounded tired and defeated.
She looked at him. " Take care of what? " she asked.
" My heart, I gave it to you freely- maybe you'll love someone else later on- but- just- for now? Take care of it? It's the last thing I was willing to give away, and I gave it up for you. "
Hermione felt her self-possession plummet to the cold ground. Her hands began to tremble again. And she no longer felt the biting air on her exposed flesh. All she saw was Draco and that narrow path that separated them from each other. She was too hurt. She knew it. She felt it, despite all the apologies, the words that could have melted any girl right then and there, the efforts, collaborations with her two best friends just to fix what had happened- it was all for her- but somehow, the pain lingered. She didn't say anything. Instead she felt tears drop on her cheeks. They fell on the snow, they fell on her hand. She was falling for it all over again, wasn't she?
" Please- please don't cry- " Draco began, his voice sounding broken this time.
" I- I can't help it- " she stammered. " Excuse me. Please don't follow me? "
And Draco stood there once more, watching her walk away with his heart. And somehow he knew- his heart felt broken, broken inside of her.
Hermione walked, feeling the bitter tears come, the tears she had been trying to repress, from the day she saw it had happened. Who cared what the truth was? All she knew was that she was in some silly, hurtful game. Caught between a Gryffindor and a Slytherin, caught in the crossfire between two boys, and a side dish of sour Pansy-
So this is what it felt like, the pain of being hurt by someone you love- it wasn't the same- she had been scolded many times by her parents, had been hurt by friends- but she had entered into a relationship-
" It should have come with a sign, 'may cause generalized pain', " she thought bitterly, as she walked for the castle. She wanted to be alone, but where? She didn't want to see anyone now, a feeling everyone would have probably felt-
She shook her head- she had plenty of distraction in store for her- she could read until the library closed, read again in her bed till everyone snored from their bunks, read till the sun would come up- and in the morning, give some silly excuse of having her period, or a migraine, or she could come up with some clever spell to imitate the 'flu', after all Fred and George could duplicate bruises…
She shook her head again. It was a terrible idea, reading! Like it would help! Books would never assuage the pain; never alleviate the feeling of being hurt by someone you thought loved you very much. She was the loser in this one. She knew it.
" How could I be so stupid? " she thought. " I'm supposed to be smart- but then again- there's this thing muggles say- when you're smart in everything else, you're stupid in love- oh Merlin! I'm stupid in love now? Wait- was that even love? What if I was just too ignorant? Cause I never had a real boyfriend- I had my share of dates- oh my god! I'm stupid! "
And the tears in Hermione's eyes pooled up all over again and spilled down her cheeks.
Ron and Harry walked slowly back to Hogwarts, both very quiet, until Harry saw Draco a few hundred meters ahead, standing alone.
" Don't tell me, " Ron began.
" Looks like it, " Harry said, and he didn't know whether to feel joy or pain, because he still loved her terribly, but he knew she was crying wherever she was, it was obvious it didn't go as planned. He wondered if he would regret the choice he had made-
" Malfoy, " Ron began.
Draco spun around with a look they both couldn't place. Was it sarcasm? Contempt? Pain? Did he even feel pain when he was the one being the pain in the arse most of the time. " Don't- " Draco began tiredly. "Don't say anything that might infuriate me- "
" I guess it didn't work? " Ron continued.
" Shut up! " Draco took out his wand.
" Nothing of this! " Harry said in a loud voice. " Like this would still help you get back with her! "
Draco slowly pocketed his wand away, but still kept an eye on Ron. " She was too- hurt, " he finally mumbled. " I underestimated her forgiveness- "
" She doesn't forgive that easily, " Harry said grimly.
Draco nodded. " I know. "
Hermione fished for her pocket unconsciously as she walked towards the long, rickety bridge leading to a meadow, another pathway to the castle.
Then she stopped. Something was missing. She frantically searched for her coat pocket again. She had lost it! Perhaps it fell- but where! And Hermione began to retrace her trail once more, walking towards the end of the bridge, her heart thudding painfully.
It's just something material! A voice screamed inside her head. But she would not entertain it. It meant something! She had to find it! She groped into the cold snow with her bare hands, her heart pounding- where was it? Where the hell was it!
And suddenly she felt a sharp pain on one hand. A boot was standing on top of her right hand. She looked up.
Pansy.
She tried to budge her hand, but every wriggle she made with it only increased the pressure Pansy's boot was giving. She mustered all the geniality she had. " Please, let go of my hand, " Hermione said with gritted teeth.
" What are we looking for, pet? "
" Let go of my hand, please, and it is none of your concern. "
" It must be something important then, that you would consider groping about in the snow for it? " Pansy asked with a sneer.
" It's none of your concern, " Hermione repeated again, as she nudged her hand once more. Pansy smiled as he looked down on her.
" Try getting out of it, " she said with another sneer.
Hermione nodded and lifted her wand out of her pocket. " Accio- snow! "
A thick pile of snow landed smack in the middle of Pansy's face. Pansy sputtered and lost her balance, falling on her behind on the cold ground.
Hermione had a glare of triumph in her eyes. " I asked you nicely, " she told Pansy. " But you just wouldn't be nice. "
Hermione spun around for the bridge again. And then she heard a sound. Pansy had just taken her wand out, aimed for her.
" Diffindo! " Pansy screamed.
" Diffindo?" Hermione thought. " But that's to- " And her coat ripped apart into two, exposing her plain school uniform and black knee high wool socks.
She frowned, and then she saw Pansy smile.
To her horror, she saw Draco's crystallized rose on the snow a few inches away from her torn coat. She quickly lunged for it.
" Accio, rose! " It was in her hands now. " This means so much to you? I wonder why- ah- Draco gave this to you didn't he? Don't you get it? He's mine- you've seen what happened- "
" He's all yours, just give that back and gloat to yourself or to the rest of your mates- " Hermione said in a controlled voice.
Pansy lifted her chin in the air. Then she raised the rose up in the sunlight. She frowned and looked at it. "How did he do this-? My, my, my, Draco's been selfish now, hasn't he? He hasn't given me this at all- How did he do this? What is this? It's- it's been frozen-? "
" I'd like that back- " Hermione said, clutching her wand.
" Try to take it from me, " Pansy said, twirling the delicately iced rose. She was laughing now, taunting her.
Hermione knew what Pansy wanted. Pansy wanted her to grovel on her knees, declare that she and Draco were indeed good for each other. Pansy was out to hurt her for being that close to Draco. She never got a hundred feet to Draco's heart. But she, Hermione had all of his.
" Wingardium Leviosa, " Pansy suddenly said. The rose was floating in midair, dancing in front of her eyes.
Hermione's eyes widened. Her heart began to pound for the rose. If the rose was going to fall- it would be alright, it would just fall on the snow, it would be cushioned by the snow- and the rose whizzed past her and onto an area, partially untouched by the snow.
" No! " Hermione cried out.
The rose fell on the ground and smashed into pieces.
A/N: i actualy liked portraying Pansy in my story, i made her smarter, prettier oh the joys of fanfiction! ----
i'm very thankful to all those who reviewed again, and those who read this story, you know who you are. (duh!), but seriously, i've got two more chapters to go...so...heck, just give me a review on this one again?oh yeah, i'd like to give a special thanks to Eos rosy-fingered. She actually translated this story into Polish, just for the benefit of the--polish! I'm very happy to have 'tempted' a person of Polish descent to read this!