-1Truth Is A Whisper

Can you teach me to believe in something?

"The doctor tells me you've made remarkable progress in the past month." Pursing her lips, Claire peered at him over the rims of her glasses, a move that never failed to make him want to rip his hair out. "I wish I could say the same."

"Well, you could," he suggested, "And then we could stop having these ridiculous sessions every week."

"See, that," she noded as if his attitude was a tangible thing in the room with them, "proves my point nicely. You seem to be even more surly than when the accident first occurred."

"Don't call it an accident," he said, avoiding her analysis. "It wasn't. Rick shot me deliberately. Spinner made sure of that."

"Oh, I see."

The note of triumph in her voice irritated him. "No, you don't see, Claire. You probably wish it was that easy, but it's not. You have no idea what it feels like to wake up and not be able to use your legs. And you definitely don't know how it feels to find out that your paralysis was caused by the guy you've known since Grade Four."

"But you're not paralyzed, Jimmy. Not completely. Dr. Bedengfield has been keeping me informed on your PT. To hear that you've graduated to walking short distances is wonderful."

"I can walk across a room," he blew off. "It takes about fifteen minutes and hurts for the next thirty, so excuse me that I'm not exactly thrilled."

"It's more than anyone ever expected," Claire persisted. "The work you've done in the past month has accomplished twice what the majority of patients with your prognosis have ever been able to do. I'd love to know what your inspiration is."

The thing was, she really did look genuinely curious. Not interested from a professional standpoint, not bored and asking merely out of a contractual obligation. No, Claire was leaning forward, elbows on the desk, chin in her hands, peering at him with actual, honest-to-god curiosity.

Jimmy hesitated. He knew what the answer was. It seemed like every aspect of his life these days boiled back down to the same thing. He just wasn't sure if he wanted to confess to his therapist that all his drive, all his motivation, stemmed from the fact that he needed to prove himself to the girl he loved.

He needed Manny to look at him and see him. Not the wheelchair, not crutches, not a charity case or a cripple. He knew he'd been wrong to lash out at her the way he had during their last argument. He knew how much he'd hurt her - it'd been almost a month, for Pete's sake, and she still wouldn't take his phone calls. And he knew that, when he apologized, whether or not it fixed things, whether or not she took him back, it had to be because of him.

He wanted her to be looking in his eyes, not at his legs, when she said yes or no. No excuses, no entrapments. It was the reason he'd sweat through the workouts and cried in their aftermath, when the pain of the day's exercises still ruminated deep in his muscles.

Manny was his inspiration. Manny was his hope.

His face must have been betraying the nature of his thoughts because just as Jimmy came back to Earth, Claire sat up straight. "Oh, I see," she said again, softer than before, like she truly did understand. "Well. Jimmy, I'll make a deal with you. I'll sign the papers that end our sessions forever ... if you come back and let me know how this all turned out for you."

"That's it?" Jimmy asked in disbelief, grabbing onto her outstretched hand. "You've got yourself a deal."

Claire smiled as they shook on it. "Best of luck to you, Jimmy Brooks."

XXX

Manny was in a rush. She was late to meet Emma at The Dot and had about a dozen other errands to run between their meeting and a session with her math tutor. She burst through the diner's doors and glanced around, finding her blond friend nowhere in sight.

"You waiting for Emma?" Spinner asked, pausing in clearing a table to approach Manny.

She nodded. "How'd you know?"

Spinner shrugged. "She called here, told me you'd be coming in. She said she wanted to let you know she'd be a little late."

Manny's nose wrinkled. "Emma's never late."

He shrugged again. "First time for everything, I guess. Here, let me just wipe off this booth, you can sit down and wait for her."

Slightly confused, Manny slid into the seat and folded her hands. Spinner hurried into the back, reappearing with a strawberry frappe and a black coffee and setting them both down. "Oh, the frappe looks great," she told him, "But Em's not a coffee person. She'll probably order a vanilla shake."

"Right, I'll be right back," Spinner said. The bells over the entrance rang, signaling a new arrival, and he hurried away, leaving the coffee on the table.

"This seat taken?"

Manny froze. Even without looking up, she recognized the voice. "Who wants to know?" she directed the question to her frappe. "My friend Jimmy, the nice guy, or the asshole from the gym?"

"Your friend," he answered firmly, sliding in across from her.

Manny looked up at that. "Oh, actually, Emma's meeting ... oh my God. You're not ... where's your chair?"

"Damn." He snapped his fingers. "I knew I was missing something."

"Ah!" Forgetting herself, Manny hurried around to his side and threw her arms around his neck. "Jimmy! I'm so proud of you! See? What'd I tell you? I knew you could do it."

She pulled away, seeming to remember exactly where they'd left off in their relationship. "Sorry," she apologized, putting the table between them again. "I'm just ... wow, I'm just so happy for you."

"Thanks." He smiled shyly, masking the disappointment he felt at her sudden departure. "Listen, Manny, Emma's not coming."

"She's ... not? Why not?"

"I asked her to lie so that I could meet you here. I just ... I wanted to thank you. I needed to see you," he corrected himself. "I needed you to know that I'm walking again and it's all because of you."

"Jimmy ..."

He silenced her protests. "No, really. You believed in me even when I didn't believe in myself. And I also needed you to know that whatever you thought I meant that day in the gym, I didn't. I don't think of you that way. I mean ... you're probably the best thing that's ever happened to me."

Though touched by his words, Manny refused to yield so easily. "Jimmy ... I accept your apology. But I can't take credit for your recovery."

"Well, I'll admit I did the legwork," he chuckled. "But I wouldn't have gotten through it if I hadn't met you. Really. Manny, I think I could be in love with you."

She stared. "You ... you ... what?"

"I'm in love with you," he repeated, much more definitely. "And I'm sorry I hurt you and I want to make it up to you ... preferably, for the rest of our lives. If you'd let me, that is."

"Jimmy." Manny was blown away. "We haven't even spoken in a month. Last time we talked, we were screaming at each other."

"I was mad," he said. "I made you mad. But worse, I made you sad. I don't want to do that, Manny. I don't want to be the reason you're anything but happy."

"Well, you're on a roll, then," she admitted, a dazzling smile spreading slowly across her face. "Because I think, right now, I'm the happiest I've ever been."

Jimmy paused, watching her face carefully. "Does that mean what I think it means?"

"If you think it means that you'd better show off your new skills, stand up, and kiss me ..." her eyes sparkled at him, bringing him to life. "Then yes."

Grinning, he did just that.