'Sometimes I wonder if we really feel the same ... '

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As Lee walked out of the squadron ready room, he felt a pang of sadness. Something was bothering Kara, but she wouldn't talk to him about it. Not that you've tried talking to her about it now have you? he told himself, but he'd always assumed relationships came with openness and honesty, and while his and Kara's did to a degree, she still kept the walls up, hiding her innermost thoughts and feelings. It tore at Lee inside that she didn't trust him enough to be completely open with him. He knew Kara was full of hurt feelings and secrets, and many other unpleasant memories and feelings that she hated to relive, let alone share with others, but he felt he was occupying a sacred space in her life. He should be different. He should be the one she trusted with everything. He thought he'd proven that to her already, but evidently he was wrong.

As he approached the CIC, he was careful to school his features back to their even, unruffled impassiveness, no hint of the pain within him showing through.

"Reporting for duty sir," Lee said, saluting as he entered.

"Captain." Adama's eyes traveled over his son with warmth though his face remained neutral. "We've got ourselves a situation." He motioned for Lee and Tigh to join him at the war table. His voice dropped several notches. "We have reason to believe there's a cylon basestar hidden behind this moon."

"How? What evidence?"

"Never mind the details now," Adama's voice was barely above a whisper. "I need you to plan a mission to gather info on cylon deployment in this sector. It will be put into action after we've confirmed our hypothesis." Lee looked at his father inquiringly, already suspecting what he was about to hear. "I plan to ask Starbuck to take the Blackbird out for a spin."

"Commander, I don't think ..." Lee objected.

"Personal feelings Captain, personal feelings," Tigh said meaningfully, instantly bringing back memories of the last time they'd been here discussing Kara's fate. Lee's temper instantly flared, as it had then.

"Just because I have objections," he began hotly but Adama silenced him with an upraised hand.

"He's right Captain. No personal feelings. Take a moment to breathe, to clear your mind, and we'll discuss the details." He must know how hard this was for Lee; he loved Kara immensely as well. Lee wondered for a moment how he'd react being in his father's position - having to send those you loved into obvious danger. It had to be just as difficult for him as this was for Lee himself.

"Okay, what's the situation?" he said a moment later, pushing his heart aside and drawing on all his skills learned at War College.

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Kara had agreed to the mission, of course, and it was planned for first thing on the morrow. Of course she wants to go, it's dangerous and Kara thrives on danger, Lee thought as he lay in bed, holding the woman he loved in his arms tightly. He, unlike Kara, was unable to sleep for worrying about her. He couldn't help but worry since he wouldn't be going with her. He'd proposed the idea, but his father had reminded him that the whole point was that this was a stealth mission - a Viper would be too obvious. Still, Lee hated the thought of sending her into danger alone, despite the fact that she was eminently qualified for it.

He brushed the hair off her face as she slept, hair that she'd been growing so it was now long enough to get in the way. She grumbled about it frequently, but Lee liked it longer and she knew it, which is why, Lee was sure, that she'd allowed it to grow. She smiled and snuggled closer, never waking. Lee's heart swelled with love. He'd never imagined in his wildest dreams that he could love someone as much as he loved Kara. He had known for some time that he'd felt deep feelings for her, but had been convinced she didn't feel the same way.

Lee let his mind wander back over the time they'd known each other. He and Kara had met briefly during her time with Zack, but Lee's time away from War College had been limited and so he'd only seen his brother twice that year. Zack had proudly introduced his girlfriend, and Lee had been impressed. She was smart, beautiful, witty ... and had a mouth on her that could rival any five men Lee had met. He'd liked her immediately. Liked her very much. The one thing he wasn't impressed about was the fact that she was Zack's instructor. They had both assured him though, that it wouldn't be a problem. Unfortunately it had, and the ensuing two years after Zack's death had been hell.

Lee was almost thankful the cylons had attacked. While everyone else he knew lost everything in those attacks, he'd gained back two of the only things in his life that mattered to him - his father and Kara. He'd lost both of them when Zack had died, and he'd had been the one to comfort his mother, as his father was lost in grief. She'd pulled away though in time, and had found someone else to comfort her, and Lee had felt so alone. He'd then thrown himself into his career, feeling like he had nothing else; enjoying the company of various women for a time, but not loving any of them. He'd thought vaguely of Kara and wondered how things would go if they ever met up again. Then he'd had to come to Galactica, the world had ended, and everything had changed. Lee had reason to live again.

Lee wasn't sure if he could pinpoint exactly when he'd fallen in love with Kara. Suddenly it his him - at the Colonial Day Ball. The moment he'd seen her standing at the bar - the most beautiful woman he'd ever laid eyes on. He saw her with different eyes that night. Before, she'd been a colleague, a friend, almost like a sister to him. After, she'd been the most precious thing in his life - though he'd come incredibly close to losing her, mainly through his own jealousy. He squeezed his arm protectively around her now, determined never to allow that to happen. He finally drifted into a fitful sleep, thoughts of losing Kara still running through his mind.

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"Rise 'n' shine sleepyhead." Lee opened one eye sleepily to find Kara kneeling beside the bed, inches from his face. He frowned briefly, feeling something soft in his arms. His pillow. Hmmm.

"What time is it?" he rasped.

"Twenty minutes till launch time," she answered, eyes sparkling. I can't believe she's looking forward to this! His heart constricted as he jumped out of bed. "I always thought you were the morning person," Kara teased.

"Didn't sleep much," he replied, pulling on his uniform.

"Are you worried about me?" Kara asked sweetly, throwing her arms around his neck.

"Always." He hugged her fiercely then let go to finish dressing. "Meet you at the hangar bay in ten."

"Where are you going?"

"The bathroom - if that's okay with you?" Lee said sarcastically.

"I suppose." Kara leaned against the hatch. "You're going to need to brush your teeth too," she said. "Whew!"

Lee gave her a tight smile. "See you in ten."

"You bet." She pecked him on the cheek and gave him a pat on the rear as he headed out into the hall.

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"You understand the mission?" Adama asked Kara as she climbed into the Blackbird's cockpit.

"Yes," she answered, smiling condescendingly at him.

"I know Kara. We worry about you though."

Her eyes flicked to Lee, standing quietly beside his father. She knew he couldn't say all the things in his heart, but he endeavoured to communicate them through his eyes. She could read all the love and worry there and her eyes mirrored it. She knew he was able to read everything in her clear, green eyes. Always had been able to. "I will," she mouthed, in answer to his unspoken plea.

"Go ahead," Adama said, nudging Lee's arm. He smiled gratefully at his father and ran up the steps, laying a hand on Kara's cheek briefly before helping her on with her helmet.

"I love you," he whispered with a little smile.

"Love you too," she said, but Lee couldn't hear her through the sealed helmet. She smiled. "Don't worry," she mouthed, as she began the startup sequence.

Lee came to stand beside his father again as the tech crew removed the stairs and prepped the ship for launch.

"She'll be fine." Lee nodded at his father weakly. "She's Starbuck, remember?" Adama smiled at Lee.

"How could I forget?" Lee shook his head disapprovingly. "That woman will be the death of me." The impact of Lee's words hit him right after they left his mouth, and he realized how his father might take them. "I mean ... I mean, I didn't mean it like that," he stammered.

Adama put a hand on Lee's shoulder. "I know what you meant. Every time she goes out there I'm afraid I'll have a heart attack too."

Lee looked at him in surprise. "You sure don't show it."

"Years of practice." He squeezed Lee's shoulder. "Come on, let's get to CIC to keep an eye on things."

"Be there in a minute dad."

Adama smiled. He knew. Lee had to watch her take off first.

"See you soon."

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Several hours later, Lee and his father had nearly paced holes in the floor of the CIC. Being a covert mission, they had to maintain radio silence until the Blackbird returned to the fleet. Everyone was on edge.

"Do you think she's okay?" Lee asked for about the tenth time. Tigh rolled his eyes. "Should I head out and look for her?"

"Not yet," Tigh answered immediately.

"I think it's a little premature yet, but perhaps you should get prepped. You know Starbuck, she won't come home till she's good and ready."

"I'll be waiting," Lee said, turning on his heel and heading out the door.

"I don't like this situation," Tigh said slowly, looking at Adama from under raised eyebrows.

"Neither do I, but not liking it won't change anything," Adama agreed.

Lee entered the squadron ready room, half-eaten muffin in one hand, flightsuit in the other. The room was deserted - all the better since Lee was talking to himself.

"Come on Kara, don't linger. Come home please. If anything happens to you, I'll never forgive you." He paused. "Or myself for letting you go," he added in a whisper. He finished his muffin, the only food he'd eaten since waking, and put on his suit, needing to be ready though he knew it would be some time yet before he was called.

"Captain Adama, report to CIC. Pass the word to Captain Adama, Captain Adama, report to CIC." Lee jumped to his feet, his reverie suddenly interrupted. His heart soared though - if he was needed to help Kara, he'd have been ordered to the hangar bay.

He raced through the corridors, arriving within minutes. "Is she back?"

"We're not sure - there's been a blip onscreen - unidentified as yet," Adama said mildly. "If it is her, the signal will come clearer as she comes closer." Lee nodded, staring at his father, whom he'd gotten to know well enough in the last year to read emotionally. He was worried.

There was silence for a few minutes then it was interrupted by Dee at the comm. "Sir, we're getting a message from the Libran Moon - they say there's a ship headed towards them on a collision course." She paused. "The ship matches the description of the Blackbird."

Lee and Adama looked at each other for a split second. "Send the CAP to intercept now," Adama said tersely, then to Lee "Go." Lee was already on his way, heart plummeting. What the hell was wrong with Kara?

'Questioning the strongest of hearts, that's where we must start, believing in the one thing that has gotten us this far ...'

(Amy Grant - That's What Love is For)