Ghosts - chapter 5

'Reach out in the darkness and hold on for your life ...'

oooooooooooooooo

Lee's face showed a series of conflicting emotions; paled, then coloured again, leaving his cheeks with a slight blush.

"I ... you ... we ..." he stammered, obviously unable to formulate a coherent thought.

Adama's face broke into a wide grin and he chuckled at his son's discomfort. "I think I said exactly the same thing when I found out your mother was pregnant with you."

Lee turned his full attention on Kara, and his face now had a goofy smile. "We're having a baby," he said, sounding awed. Then he reached forward and pulled her into his arms, hugging her fiercely. "We're having a baby," he repeated happily, though still feeling rather stunned.

"Yep, we are," Kara said, smiling tentatively.

Adama took a step forward and embraced them both in a large hug. "I'm so happy for both of you. Well, and for me too."

Lee laughed, pulling out of the hug slightly to face his father. "Have you been waiting to become a grandpa or what dad?"

"Well, the thought had crossed my mind with the two of you being together ..."

"i can't believe it. I'm amazed. Stunned."

"Happy I hope," Adama said.

"Of course - just surprised. It wasn't exactly planned."

"You can say that again," Kara murmured, jumping into the conversation again.

Adama looked at her sharply, putting together the look on her face now and her behaviour since she'd found out. It wasn't the picture he'd hoped to see. Kara was, obviously, shocked and surprised, but didn't seem pleased. Well, she's never really struck me as the maternal type, he thought. She herself has probably never really thought about having children. I'm sure she'll warm up to the idea soon. Meanwhile, he knew Kara and Lee needed some time alone to talk things over. The post-op briefing could wait.

"I've uh ... got some things to take care of. I'll see you in my office in an hour?" he said to Lee.

"Yes dad." Lee smiled, knowing what his father was doing and loving him for it. Sometimes, just sometimes, pleasure did come before duty. He reached for Kara's hand. "Let's go. I need a shower."

"Yeah, you do stink," she joked half-heartedly, lacing her fingers into his.

"Thanks, I know I can always count on you for the compliments," Lee said happily, squeezing her hand as they walked out of the hangar bay.

"Wouldn't want you to get a swelled head now, would I?"

Adama smiled as they walked out of earshot. That was better - back to the Lee and Kara he was used to - endless bickering and teasing. He hoped things would be okay, that Lee's calming touch would work it's magic on her as it always did.

oooooooooooooooooo

Kara paced while she waited for Lee to finish showering. She was much more unsettled by the news than she let on, though she knew that Lee and his father could both read her like an open book. Her arms fluttered at her sides, too restless to stay still, but unwilling to cross over her stomach, as if refusing to admit that there was something special there.

"Hey, how're you doing?" Lee asked softly as he walked in, towel tucked around his hips.

"Okay," she lied, forcing herself to smile.

Lee wasn't fooled. He knew she was upset by the news, but that wasn't really all that surprising. They'd never talked about having children in the few months they'd been together, and Lee knew, from a few slipped comments, that Kara's childhood had not been good. Perhaps she didn't want to have children at all? he wondered as he pulled on fresh clothes. Then a thought struck him like a bucket of ice poured down his back - what if she doesn't want to keep it?

He turned towards her and pulled her down on the bunk with him, interlacing his fingers with hers again.

"Kara, talk to me." He looked at her earnestly, but she wouldn't meet his gaze. "Please, don't go all silent on me. I know the news has upset you, but we need to talk it through."

She turned to face him and her lashes were wet with unshed tears. "I never wanted to have children," she whispered.

"Do you still feel that way?"

Kara could see the pain in his eyes and it broke her heart. "Yes," she whispered, barely audible.

Lee sighed, heart heavy with pain. "Well, like it or not, it's happening and we have to deal with it." He stroked his thumb gently over the top of her hand. "I'm here - we can do this together. I love you Kara and I want us to be a family." He put his other hand on her stomach lightly but she flinched at his touch and pulled away, standing up and walking across the room. She crossed her arms over her chest and a few tears trickled down her cheeks.

"I know," she whispered. "I do too, it's just that I never ... I don't think I can ... I need time to get used to the idea, okay?" she pleaded.

Lee walked over and took her in his arms. "Hey, I know this is something new - a tougher challenge than you've ever faced, but you don't have to be scared." He wiped the tears from her cheeks. "I'm here with you every step of the way, okay?" He placed a small kiss on her forehead. "I love you and I know you can do this." She still didn't look convinced so he threw in his last card. "The Starbuck I know never shies away from a challenge."

"Unless she knows she can't win," Kara said softly, eyes still full of fear.

"There's nothing Starbuck and Apollo can't do together, you know that. We're the perfect team," he boasted and was pleased to see a smile begin to form on Kara's face. "That's better. I know you're scared - so am I, it's an incredible change for us, but together we'll make it through."

Kara put her arms around his neck and held on tightly as she buried her face. "Okay," she whispered in his ear, and that one word told him more than any long speech could have. It told him she had faith in him.

As he held her close, he vowed to keep his promise, no matter what it took, and be there for her every step of the way.

ooooooooooooooooo

Kara felt no pain. She watched dispassionately as the doctor pulled on his gloves and prepped his instruments, preparatory to beginning the cesarean section. Lee stood by her bedside, holding her hand tightly, the worry etching early lines in his face. She could tell by the looks on everyone's faces, Lee's, the doctor's, the nurse's ... that things weren't going well and they were praying the emergency surgery would work, but Kara herself still felt no pain.

She looked down at her swollen belly to see it twisting and changing shape as the baby moved within her. He seems fine to me, she thought, but though the thought of asking why they were doing this to her crossed her mind, she just couldn't seem to speak. It was as if her mouth was fused shut.

The doctor lowered the scalpel and began to cut. Blood spurted forth and the nurse scrambled to wipe it out of the doctor's way, but still, Kara felt no pain. He cut a deep slice in her and then put the scalpel aside, putting his hands in the opening and ripping it wide. Kara glanced at Lee - he was nearly green and looked as though he would pass out any minute.

The doctor pulled her body wide open and she watched as he removed the baby, pulling it from her and beginning to suction out it's nose and mouth. The baby didn't cry. Instead, he began to make cooing noises as the umbilical cord was cut. The doctor wrapped him in a blanket.

"He's perfect," he said, and his deep voice suddenly gave Kara the shivers. She looked at him curiously, and as she watched in horror, his eyes and skin darkened till she was staring at the cylon doctor from Caprica. Her blood froze as he held the baby close and smiled evilly at her.

"Come on," he said to the nurse, who was now a carbon copy of Sharon. "We've got what we came for."

"Wait!" Lee cried out. "Kara - you can't leave her like this!" He pointed at her, belly still wide open, blood seeping everywhere.

Simon shrugged. "She's fulfilled her destiny. We don't need her any longer." And he and Sharon walked away, cradling the infant between them.

"No!" Kara screamed, finally able to find her voice. "My baby! I want my baby!" She flailed, trying desperately to get off the bed, but all she did was to increase the bleeding.

"Kara, no!" Lee shouted, holding her down. "Please - let me!" She was slipping fast now, the pool of blood on the floor growing rapidly.

Lee rushed after the cylons and Kara lifted her head weakly. "Lee, please ... get our son ... our ... son ..." she trailed off, her head dropping to the bed with a sickening thud ...

ooooooooooooooo

'When the moment of truth arrives hey, you can run but you can't hide ...'

(Triumph - Somebody's Out There)