I am having so much fun writing this.. more fun than I ever expected. This story is keeping me up very late on school nights. Then again, it is the only thing that occupies my mind, and keep my thoughts off those of despair. And I can feel my writing slowly improving from writing so much, erm typing
Chapter ten:
Revelations
"Nall?"
Strength. Strength is something I have always wished for, something I've always wanted. Not the strength to kill, but in fact the strength to protect. To protect the ones who are most dearest to you, and never let them fall out of your grasps. When you acquire strength, you in return receive love. An undying love that starts with a simple intention, and ends with eternal bliss and fortunate.
But without strength, there is no love. And without love there is no passion or strive. And without strive, this is no happiness and will to go on. Forever searching. I am forever searching for that strength that'll set my life on the path I've always wanted. Yet now, as I lay wherever I have wound up, I realize I don't have that strength. I couldn't even protect my friends, protect them when they during their jobs. This self-pitty I have, and this weakness... it's depressing and low. How can I continue while knowing I'll never be able to win this endless battle?
"Nall?"
Cracking open an eye, I noticed Zoteaki was standing a few inches away from my face, holding an old rag. On the rag showed signs of dried blood, and wrinkles from being held so tightly. It was then I remembered the gauges on my face and left arm. Wincing from the returning pain, I clenched the blankets around my body tightly, as if I thought the pain would slowly die off.
"Are you awake?"
Twitching my nose, trying to wake myself up, I pushed up from my resting spot. Blood rushing to my head, I released how badly I was hurt in the last battle. The gauge running across my back shoulder pain snapped in pain as I squinted my eyes from shock. Blinking, I starred the blue dragon in the eyes with fear and distress. If he knew how I was feeling, he passed me a glass with an elixir.
"Take this, you'll feel better."
Gracshishly, I reached out for the water and elixir. Swallowing it down in my glug, I glanced over at my savior. The bitter taste of defeat found it's way back into my mouth and lingered. I had lost yet another battle... was I really this hopeless and useless? I was starting to feel that way, whether it be true or not. But something else was on my mind...Amber. Was she all right?
"Amber, where's Amber?"
They were the first words out of my mouth. Surprised, Zoteaki ran a hand through his hair and looked distant-minded. After a few moments of deep thought, he gave a saddened no, and closed his eyes. Clenching his fist, I could hear a few choice curses being mumbled.
"Damn pirates."
"I've got to...save her."
I arose to my feet and fell back on the bed instantly. Weakness was taking a toll on me. Reaching out, Zoteaki patted me on the back and a gentle sigh and whisper of encouragement was wisped into my ear.
"You need to rest before we go save anyone."
"No." Pushing his hand away, I arose to my feet, leaning on him for support. "It's my fault she was captured. Lord knows what they're doing to her!" Snapping, I fell backwards once more onto the bed. The pain of the gauge upon my face and back were ever increasing, and I silently prayed this elixir would heal it...fast.
"We'll end up getting killed if we go fight in our current conditions."
You could tell he was trying to keep his cool. He did this often, fighting with me was a pointless battle, seeing I was stubborn to the end. I would never take no for an answer, not when I've come so far in life. It was then when I noticed the cuts and bruises on his hands and face. Starring vaguely, I took a deep gulp.
"Zoteaki, what did they do to you?"
I was afraid to answer, and a sudden expression of loom filled his face and he snapped shut his eyes. Shut his eyes as if it would block out my wondering curiosity.
"We'll talk later.."
He had begun but I weakly grabbed his arm and looked at him defiantly, casting an icy stare. Shaking my head, as stubborn as ever, I puckered my bottom lip and gave him that look.
"No, now. We've got time. What's wrong? What happened?"
"Have you ever heard of Cursia De Drogoon?"
The words seemed like slurs and I scratched my head curiously. Coming up empty, I gave a distant shake of my head, as a few strands of my hair found themselves in my face. Blowing them off, I awaited a continuation to Zoteaki's lecture, or realization.
"It's the ancient curse of dragons. Each dragon is destined with their own curse. Some may learn what their curse is at a young age, and others may not. If we all did not have this curse, dragons would be perfect, and could instantly defeat the humans and reign over the goddess. That's why we were created, purposely being deprived of one essential emotion or experience. And that's why we're servants... we serve hoping that when we die, we can gain back what we've been cursed of.." A tear fell from his eyes as he spoke.
"And you know you're curse, don't you?"
"Yes."
"Tell me." My voice was still fragile, so it sounded but a small whisper.
"You should of learned that by now. We've traveled long enough."
His voice was becoming naive. This topic must immensely be bothering him. Shaking my head, once again, I gave a distant glance. He was making no sense, but all the sense at the same time. Sometimes there are things you're not meant to understand.
"Nall, I've lost the ability to love." A single tear fell from his face as his eyelids snapped shut. Heart-stopping, I ran a hand through my hair, wondering what to say. Then again, didn't he claim to have a fiancé?
"What about Lily?"
"We were arranged to marry since birth. I thought I loved her, but it wasn't love at all, just friendship. Every time I looked into her eyes I saw nothing, just emptiness. Nall, I just want to be able to know how love feels.."
"Zoteaki, I couldn't tell you how the real thing feels, I've never taken the chance."
This curse, Zoteaki couldn't love, no matter how hard he tried. But my curse? What was my curse. Pfft, just watch it be the curse of not wielding any physical strength. No, that couldn't possibly be it. Thoughts then trickled back to Amber, what was her curse? And how was she doing right now. God damn, I've got to save her.
"I want to know how love feels before I die." He was choking on his own words.
"You will, just have a little faith in destiny." Wrong thing to say. Zoteaki glanced over at me with a bloody dagger.
"Destiny? What Destiny? I'm destined to be a servant with no emotions."
"Stop it!"
"I never thought it was true, but as we continue this journey, I'm starting to realize it's true."
"Just stop! Please.. just stop, god damnit."
All was silent for a few more moments. Through this harsh battle of words, I had momentarily forgot the pain of my wounds, and then reflected upon the emotional wounds of life. And how brutal they can be at times.
"This is exactly what Ghaelon wants us to believe. Believe that was are impure slaves, searching for a soul. We're not."
"..." He looked away and clenched his fists. Not sure if he was listening, I sighed.
"We're going to figure out a way to break these curses, and gain back our traits that were taken away at birth. And we'll slay Ghaelon and send him to his eternal imprisonment."
"And we're doing it together, even if I have to drag your ass behind me."
He looked up at me gently, and a feverish smile cross his flustered look. Nodding diligently, I breathed heavily, trying to push away the pain of my inflictions and casualties. Oddly, the elixir was starting to work as I spoke. The pain was dulling, and I was beginning to feel like myself, once more.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome."
"Get some sleep, I'll wake you in a few hours to depart to the port."
"All right."
I closed my eyes and laid back down against the cold and relaxing feeling of the pillow. Within seconds I was teetering from reality and dream worlds. Almost in complete slumber, I felt a hand reach out and run it across my face. Maybe it was my imagination working up once more, because I heard the reassuring voice of Alex.. he told me to be strong, and believe in what was right. What was right.. just saying that was killing me inside. No one realized anything did they? They didn't realize what was right in front of their eyes.
"Quark, tell me, is what I'm doing right?"
His silent and judging sapphire eyes starred vacantly at me. Wings expanded, his never ending intense glance set itself upon me once more. Every time he breathed in, his scales would gently lift up and then return to position. Awaiting an answer, I sat down on the cold marble floor in front of him. Just waiting for my judgment.
"Do I really need to answer that?"
No, there was no answer for my question. Sighing desperately, I closed my eyes and thought to myself. Thoughts I kept to myself. I weighed my options silently, and considered everything that lay in front of me. I keep falling back onto this decision I would be faced ahead. Snapping open my eyes, I looked d at my mentor once more, with extreme pride and determination glowing from my white furred body.
"Tell me, Zoteaki, he speaks of this Cursia de Drogoon. What exactly is my, curse?"
I was stuttering at the right words. Was this knowledge to be known? Would these secret dream meetings with my eldest friend be blasted away from asking such a question. Instead of the stunned look I was expecting, a gentle smile crossed the former white dragon as he flicked his tail affectingly.
"Only you, and the Goddess knows of that information. Search your soul Nall, and you'll soon realize what you are missing in life. And what you can do to gain it back."
"Gain it back! You mean I can get back whatever I don't have-"
"Only if you believe in your will and your decision. I believe our meeting is over."
"Why? I have so many questions to ask." I began but then my body began to shake. Gritting my teeth, I flapped my dragon wings and attempted to fly up in the air, but fell onto the cold hard floor. There was no pain. No pain in this dreamland, this fantasy.
"Ready?"
I was shaken away by the familiar face from an hour ago. Blinking, I pushed the blanket off my body and rubbed my head. The pain I had felt earlier was now no longer in existence, thanks to the elixir. Grunting, I thought back to my dream. It was my shortest meeting with Quark, but the information I gained was so meaningful. What ever I was missing in life, I could gain back. Just perhaps.
"Yea."
"Let's go then."
We arrived at the port from yesterday. My heart was in my throat, as I kept my hand tightly grasped around the sword on my belt. Zoteaki hadn't noticed my change of weapons yet. How would he react knowing I had traded it in. Then again, I wondered another thing. Should I share my newly gained information with him. He could re obtain his lost love if he truly yearned for it.
"Make sure not to faint this time, I'm getting tired of having to haul your body out of a battle scene."
A grimmace crossed his face at first, but was replaced with a caring glance. Stifling a chuckle, I gave an affirmative nod. This time I wasn't fighting to prove my worthy, I was fighting to protect Amber, and get her back in our group to complete our destiny.
"You sure you going to be all right?"
"Positive."
Lightly smiling back at the blue dragon, I stepped forward. This step was my first on a long journey to self-strength. A hidden journey. After a few moments of deep breaths, I watched as Zoteaki stepped upon the plank of our former ship. Ears already beginning to twitch from nerves, I slowly followed my companion on board, praying for the best outcome, and the death to the pirates.
"What's the password?"
We were greeted by what seemed like the lowest of scum. Unshaven beard laid messily upon his face, as bloodshot eyes starred at us, through baggy skin. He wore no fancy thievery clothes you would expect, but old rags. Trying not to laugh at his appearance, I bit down on my tonuge and kept a straight face. Zoteaki stepped forward from my side and eyed down the man sternly.
"Scurvy."
"That's-" The man began, scratching his head. You could basically hear the skin particles being ripped from his scalp as he scratched. Either I was way too over observant, or he was doing it on purpose.
"Correct?" A beam of pride crossed Zoteaki's face as he lightly shoved the man out of the entrance and walked on board. Snickering, I walked back him, giving him another shove. Glaring angriliy, I reached out and kicked my shin. Wincing in pain, I stroke out and punched him across the face. Cowering, he remained at his post with a bloody nose. I could get used to this winning violence.
"Where's Amber being held?"
"Lower-deck, I would assume." Zoteaki spoke, eyeing the ship. "Be on alert."
"Always am," I whispered back as we walked towards the middle of the ship to where the stairs should be located. Reaching out for the doorknob, Zoteaki stopped and eyed me sternly. Cocking my head, I gave him my famous 'What' look as he continued to inquisitively stare at me. After a few minutes of silence, he turned back around and pushed the door open.
Stairs lay before us, spiraling down to the lower deck, Tightening my grasp on the sheath of my sword, we began our walk down the steps. Each footstep felt like a dagger to the heart. Another question that I could never answer until we had arrived. Was she ok? Was it my fault? Was she mad at me? And why do I give a damn?..
Either it was myself or my mind playing tricks on me, but I swore the temperature dropped fifty degrees. Zoteaki didn't seem to note the change in climate. Hell, he wasn't a feeling kind of guy, if you catch my drift. Blowing a strand of hair out of my face, we drew closer to the door that led to the main lower deck. Heart suddenly beating faster for some odd reason, I began to feel rather faint.
It was the fought of the battle ahead, wasn't it? Probably, what else could get me like this? Shrugging, I watched as Zoteaki stepped off the last step and reached out for the doorknob and turned it. I was expecting him to ask if I was ready, seeing I was used to it by now. But he didn't, he refrained with that tense look upon his face.
The door swung open and to my utter amazement no one was there. Shaking my head, I cast a free glance to Zoteaki and made a confused expression.
"We're at the right ship, right?" He turned his head in my direction and was about to respond before his face went pale, and he furrowed his eyebrows tensely. Blinking a few times, I soughed disdainfully. "He's right behind me, isn't he?"
"Yup..." Zoteaki replied in a whisper.
As expected, I turned around to the see the leader from earlier. Scars were apparent on his face as he snickered at me. Stunned, I took a leap backwards and unsheathed my sword. I was ready this time, and I wasn't backing down. The strength inside me was to protect, not to destroy. And god damnit I'd protect... for them.
"Aren't you the one who got whipped out?" The leader sent me a humorous look. Looking downward shame, I opened my mouth to answer but no words came out for a few moments.
"That's-"
"Don't let them get inside your head, Nall." His words of encouragement caused me to stare defiantly at the leader and send a brutal slash at him.
It caught him off guard, by a stroke of luck. Regaining his balance, he cussed angrily and redrew his dagger, that still bore Zoteaki's blood from earlier. I watched as Zoteaki stepped beside me. Passing a look, I reached out to him.
"No, I want to do this on my own."
"Why?" Confusion loomed in the dragon's voice.
"He made Amber suffer, he has your blood on his weapon, and he ticked me off. That's why." I snapped. A light smile crossed his lips as he stepped backwards and left me looking in the eye to the Pirate.
"You're a real dumb one, y'know? Passing up help when help is needed?"
"Shut up!" I silenced as I swung once more, aiming for his waist. Blocking, he continued to snicker, as if my dangerous swings did not phase him.
Something was different, something burned inside of me. Usually I would get discouraged by my lack of physical strength and go and let the others fight, but not this time. This time I wanted to kill.. let the blood shed of those who cause suffering to my companions. And that's what I wanted most at this moment. More than salvation and knowledge.
"Give it up, sissy."
"I said, shut the hell up!" I swung again, managing to cause a scratch to his arm. Wincing in pain, he reared up and struck my weak arm with his dagger. Gritting my teeth from pain, I swung back once more, aiming for his legs. His assault of my arm continued, even though I was blocking with all my might. I was losing strength, fast, and if I didn't do something quick, I'd loose all my respect I had for myself.
Raising my sword up and taking a few direct blows, I swung violently at the man's skull causing it to smash as he fell to the ground. Breathing heavily, I watched as the man's last attempt was to throw the dagger through the air. Easily dodging it, I watched as he slowly died.
"Rot in hell, bastard." I huffed, bending over and panting.
"You're hurt.."
"I'm fine." Hissing, I glanced over at Zoteaki who was passing me a healing herb.
"Take it."
"I said I'm fine, it's just a bloody scratch."
"Even the strongest of warriors take help when it is provided. Now be a man and take it." He pratically shoved it in my mouth from the side. Glaring icily at him, I chewed it and swallowed. Sometimes Zoteaki was too stubborn for his own good.
But this felt good. This victory. I had killed a man, not for enjoyment, but for revenge and to protect my newly found friends. If I wanted to prove worthy in their eyes, I had to show them I wasn't a push-over. Like last time...
"Let's go find Am."
We walked through the main hull and opened a door. Inside sat Amber on a bunked, starring up at the ceiling. I was a little shocked to not see any more pirates heavily guarding her. Shrugging off it, I ran into the room, literally pushing Zoteaki aside.
"Amber!"
"Nall!"
I stopped right before I collided into her as she jumped onto the floor from her bed. Zoteaki walked up from behind, bearing a casual grin. That dumbass. Anyways, I lightly smiled at Amber, although I was weak from the last battle.
"How the heck did you two save me from those creatures?"
"Don't count me in on that defeat." Zoteaki spoke up, holding his sword behind his head and onto his arms, boredly. Furrowing her small eyebrows, Amber gave a confused expression to me.
"You, did it by yourself? Thought you hated me."
"I-, don't hate you. I tolerate you, yes, that's the word." I stroked my chin and gave a gentle grin. Reaching out, I braced myself for a smack, but recieved a pat on the shoulder.
"Well, thanks. And thanks for tagging along, Zoteaki." Amber smiled brightly.
"Yea, but next time fight back when you're going to be kidnapped, neh? I'm not really the savior kind of person," Zoteaki murmured from his position.
"I was going to, but hey tied my hands behind my back before I could do anything!" She snapped bitterly.
"Why didn't you kick them from behind?" I grimmaced, of the thought.
"They had already surroudned me, lay off!" Amber starred at me.
"Didn't mean to-" I began, sweating a bit.
"Can we save the bickering for the hotel? I want to secure the ship and get a good night's rest before departure." Zoteaki broke in. Exchanging glances with Amber and giving a slight nod, I counted to three on my fingers.
"WE ARE NOT BICKERING!" We said in unison. Zoteaki jumped backwards from startlment and sent us a peeved look. Glancing over, I saw Amber lightly laughing, but trying to keep a straight face.
"Very mature.." Zoteaki mutterted.
"C'mon, Zoteaki. Act your age, not the age of this town." I joked lightly but felt him kick me in the shin.
"Just cut it out." Sighing, I nodded and followed him out of the ship, with Amber at my side.
I was here again. Here at this place in the realms of my dreams. How I got here, and why I came here was what was beginning to bother me. Hell, I didn't even know where 'here' was. And oddly, everytime I visited this place, I bore my original dragon form, the one so many people remember me as. Not this hideious human disguise. Then again, being a human isn't all so bad. Right?
Wrinkling my nose, I stepped on the familiar code stone, walking up the stairs to where I usually had a chance meeting with whoever wished to speak to me. Tonight.. it was someone I would have never guessed. The presence of them filled my senses as my heart skipped a beat. Unfolding my wings, I glanced around, trying to find them.
"Long time no see, friend."
Smiles rolled across my furry lips as I sat back down, and braced myself for the long conversation that followed the introduction. But this was a conversation I probably wouldn't mind.
"Hey, Alex. What a surprise.
"I'd love to casually chat, but I have important issues to address with you, Nall."
"Oh, great. Well, start."
Crossing my paws on the ground, I laid down and yawned. Usually important things meant long lectures. Long, boring lectures. And usually people knew more then they should. A lot more then they should at times.
"Do you know of Black dragon cave, south of here?"
"Yes, why?"
"You must be open-minded about Black. Black will not join you willingly."
"Why, what's her problem?" Confusion spread across my fur as I arose to my paws and blinked a few times, now interested in the conversation.
"Black has many problems with life, and has taken the words of a stranger. Just bear in mind that Black will not be as easy to convince as Zoteaki and Amber."
"Why are you being so vague?" I sighed, trying to understand the will of spirits.
"Some things you must learn on your own. Now, I do believe you have a boat to catch?"
"Come on Nall! Last one to the boat is a rotten fish!"
Amber chucked spare clothes onto my body and grinned at me as my eyes snapped open. Rubbing them, I smiled back at her and then grimaced.
"Not fair, you're already dressed!" I pouted.
"Well... you're wasting time! See you there, slow fish!" She laughed and ran out of the room. Sighing, I shoved my clothes on and ran out of the room, with a smile on my face.
Maybe this journey was going to be fun. And maybe I could tolerate Amber. She really was good down in her heart. Sure, she was sarcastic a lot but she seems to be toning down towards me lately. But Zoteaki?.. he seems to be very uncomfortable around me now. These things really confuse me. And then Amber's curse, what could it be? There's only one way to find out.
AN:
yesh, I had so much fun! And Amber is starting to remind me of Aika from Skies of Arcadia, and Nall like Vyse, and then again, Zoteaki could be Gilder, Hahah! Anwyays, next chapter up soon. And yes, I have all the chapters plotted out, and let me tell you. Many twists and god it is LONG.