Frankly, I'm astonished anyone even read this, let alone you asked for more. More fool you… it just gets worse…
Chapter 2 – Boromir is a Bit of a Git
The next day at dawn, the Fellowship set out from Rivendell. Today Angel was wearing a deep blue satin dress, as blue as the night sky, inlaid with silver swirls. The others walked, but Angel refused to leave Avalon behind. The hobbits stared in wonder at the winged unicorn, whose silver coat shone brightly in the sun. Angel rode at the front of the line with Gandalf, and said many things to him in that time which the others did not hear.
She did not always walk at the front though. Sometimes she let herself fall back, and rode at the back of the line, scanning the landscape with her keen elf eyes, and singing softly to herself, "I walk a lonely road, the only one that I have ever known, don't know where it goes, but it's only me and I walk alone…"
Boromir slowed his pace and walked next to her. Avalon stamped nervously, but Angel was too caught up in looking out for danger to notice the threat at her side.
"You sing like an… angel," said Boromir with a smile. Angel did not look at him, but nodded.
"My mother taught me, when I was in Lothlorien as a girl," she said, "Even then the elves all said I had the most beautiful voice."
"You are the most beautiful in many ways," said Boromir. Angel shifted uneasily in her seat. "Do you have a boyfriend?" he asked.
"No, nor do I need one," said Angel firmly.
"I will be king of Gondor soon," said Boromir, putting a hand on Avalon's neck, "You would be the most wonderful queen Gondor could have. With you at my side, Minas Tirith would be unstoppable!"
"I do not wish for power," said Angel, voice shaking, "And Aragorn will be king of Gondor, not you."
Boromir's eyes flashed. "You turn down my proposals?" he said angrily.
"I could not possibly accept them," said Angel.
Boromir seethed. No girl had ever turned him down! He opened his mouth to say something, but Legolas turned at the sound of his raised voice, and frowned.
"Is he bothering you?" asked Legolas, glaring at Boromir.
"Nothing I can't handle," said Angel calmly, and Avalon trotted away from him up to the hobbits. Boromir was left breathing angrily, glaring after her, clenching his fists.
Legolas noticed, and said warningly, "Careful, son of steward. Should you lay one finger on her, you'll have me to answer to."
Boromir glared after him as he walked up to join Angel, talking to her quietly in concerned tones. "Careful yourself, young prince… even elves can be killed."
-
That afternoon they reached Hollin. Angel took it upon herself to teach the hobbits how to fight. They stared in wonder as she took out her pink and silver bladed lightsaber and lifted a rock into the air with the Force, and cleaved the rock in two.
"What magical sword is this?" said Aragorn in amazement.
Angel laughed, a sound like sunlight on a trickling fountain. "It was my mother's," she said, "Galadriel learnt some of the ways of the Force from my father, and this was his gift to her." Suddenly she stopped, and looked into the distance. Everyone also turned and looked, and saw the dark smudge on the horizon.
"It's just a wisp of cloud!" said Gimli.
"Don't be so stupid, dwarf!" snapped Angel. She squinted at the dark cloud, and suddenly her eyes widened in fear. "Crebain from Dunland!" she cried, pointing to the birds approaching, "Hide! Everybody hide!"
The Fellowship were caught by surprise, but quickly followed her orders and dived underneath the rocks. Legolas headed for the same rock as Angel, noticing the unnatural look of fear on her face.
"What is it?" he whispered as the birds flew over the camp. Angel didn't reply but closed her eyes, hunching up as small as she could. Legolas felt strangely protective, and put his arm around her. She leant onto him, appreciating his comfort.
When they finally flew away, the Fellowship emerged from their hiding places. "Spies of Saruman!" said Gandalf, "They are searching for the Ring."
"Not necessarily for the Ring," said Angel quietly so that only Legolas heard her.
"We must take a different route," said Aragorn.
"The Gap of Rohan is not far off," said Boromir, "Then we can go to my city, which is the best city in Middle-earth."
"I would not have thought that the safest place for the Ring at these times," said Angel, looking severely at him.
"What do you mean by that?" shouted Boromir angrily.
"I mean that all men are stupid and weak," replied Angel, "Except for Jedi."
"What about Caradhras?" said Gandalf, "It is a dangerous way to risk, but-"
"No," said Angel, "We can't go up through the snow, it would ruin my shoes."
"Then what about the Mines of Moria?" said Gimli eagerly.
Angel paled. "NO!" she cried, "We can't!"
"Why?" said everyone, looking at her questioningly. Her eyes were filled with fear, and if Legolas didn't know her better, he'd have thought her close to tears.
"I- we can't go that way," said Angel shakily, "There must be another way."
"The Gap of Rohan," said Boromir firmly, "There's no snow there, or strange things which seem to terrify this girl… what is it, scared of the dark?" he said cruelly.
"You speak as one who has never seen a true nightfall," said Angel angrily, "But fine. We'll go through the Mines. I'd rather put my own life in danger a hundred times than let the Ring come within 500 miles of stupid men!"
Boromir's eyes flashed, and moved forwards as if to strike her. Legolas seized his arm, but Boromir pushed him to the ground and strode towards her angrily. "I'll teach you some respect, you stupid girl-"
He suddenly froze. Angel had gripped him with the Force, and rose him into the air with her powers. Having raised him ten feet, she said, "Don't call me stupid."
Boromir wasn't so brutishly brave now. "Let me down!" he wailed, "I'm scared of heights!"
"Say sorry," said Angel.
"Sorry!"
"To Leggy, too. You shouldn't have pushed him over when he was just trying to protect me."
"Leggy?" said Legolas in surprise.
"It's a nickname," said Angel, "You don't mind, do you?"
"No, I like it," smiled Legolas. Angel smiled back.
"Fine, fine! Sorry! Just let me down, please!" cried Boromir, starting to cry like a baby. Sighing, Angel released him, and he crashed to the ground.
"Hahaha," laughed Aragorn, pointing at him. Boromir got to his feet, rubbing his arms, and glared so viciously at Angel that most girls would have fainted dead away at the sight. Angel just laughed, a sound like birds tweeting on an autumn morning.
There was a silence. Gandalf said finally, "The Mines of Moria it is, then…"
-
Ebon Oleander Wenham – (prods corpse with foot) Not another fatality…
daydreambeelievr – Well, it is the best way to laugh. I try to do everything like a crazy person.
BlueDove – It was on a message board I go to. There wasn't a prize or anything, I just felt like entering… and becoming extremely ill by the time I reached the end…
elfpoet – Well, it's CLEAR from the film that because he argues with Aragorn and is mean to Frodo, he is an ALL-ROUND BAD GUY. Never mind that he redeems himself and was allowed to join the Fellowship in the first place, or all the heroic deeds he has performed for his country. Mean to Aragorn and Frodo ALL ROUND BAD GUY, who obviously must also be chauvinistic. And I thought the writing was bad enough WITHOUT terrible spelling and punctuation. If I was deliberately spelling badly and leaving out punctuation, I'm not sure I would have finished this alive.
Cecile Li – Yes. Yes, it is horrible. What have I unleashed upon the world?
steelelf – (quickly positions trampoline at bottom of cliff) What list is that?