Review answers: I advise you to read these, cos it may answer a question you may have.
Special answer: Demenior- No, you haven't gone and stuck your foot in your mouth. You're just confused and don't understand. Self-harm is a very complicated thing for some, but simple for others. And it is pretty hard to explain, because the reasons differ for different people. My reason was what 'Sarah' said in the previous chapter: 'Whenever I feel the walls and people closing in on me, I literally let it all out...' that's what is was like for me. And... gah, it's so hard to explain... It's like creating a new pain, so the old pain will go away temporarily. But like i said 'Temporarily'. and yes, sometimes i feel ugly, cos i have the scars on my arms, but i bear them, cos it feels like i have to; Sarah gave up her life to get away from the pain, but i stayed and therefore, it kinda reminds me of her in a weird way. Your review made me cry and it's actually making me cry now (in a good way, though!) yes, i know you're always be here for me and that i will turn to you and many people for help. Love you lil sis. Take care yourself and yes, i will smile. I will smile and lift my head high for you, Dem.
Sorry, but now, i'm not really in the mood to answer reviews (Not in a bad way, though. And no, Dem, you haven't made me; it's not your fault, so don't go and hide in that box of yours!). I thank you all so kindly and please review again. Thank you for your sympathy and empathy. Take care and in the words of my little sister 'Always remember to smile!'
'When there's no one else
Look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend
Just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength
That will guide your way
If you will learn to begin
To trust the voice within' The voice within, Christina Aguilera
Hilary ran with all the energy she had left in her body. She could feel herself wearing down, but she had to keep going. By now, she knew they would be in her house and-
She stopped dead…
'N-No…' She thought. 'The razor… the blood… the pictures… Kai…'
She fell to her knees, eventually onto all fours, sobbing in the middle of the park. It started to rain, heavy droplets thudding down everywhere, drenching everything in mere seconds.
'Perfect,' She thought bitterly, 'just perfect. Perfect for my mood.' She almost smiled. 'But now, no one will see me cry…' and… her tears stopped. It was as if she had lost the will to cry anymore…
She shakily stood, her injured hand and knees dripping with watery mud… and… she walked. She had no destination… just like all the other times. But she walked anyway. Where her feet would carry her, she did not know… but she would be going anyway… anywhere… anyhow…
Silence.
Nothing else was heard.
Until it started to rain, that is.
The Bladebreakers, minus Kai, just stared at Ray's outstretched hands, which held the ex-razor and the blood.
"W-Why?" Max breathed, tears bordering his eyes, but they did not fall. No one replied, for they were in a state of shock. "Why?"
Max fell to his knees and held his face in his hands. Tyson knelt beside him and hugged the blonde close, but he himself felt like breaking down. Even Kenny had no explanation. Ray was too frightened to move a muscle.
And that's all there was…
Silence…
Flashback
A young blonde girl of about nine ran towards an old weeping willow, a neutral expression on her face. She was neither happy nor sad, but that changed as soon as she ducked under the branches.
"Hey!" The blonde girl said to the brown haired girl of a similar age. "That's mah spot!"
"I don't see your name on it." The brown girl managed to say without sobbing.
The blonde's expression died. "What's wrong?"
"N-Nothing…" The brunette said, standing. "I'll just go now. You want to sit here so-"
"So we'll sit together." The blonde said, walking over and pushing the other girl down into a sitting position; she sat beside her. "Now, tell me what's wrong." The brunette made no move of replying. "Listen, if yah can't tell, then I'm gonna have to kick yah out. This tree here's a place of truth, yah hear me?"
The brunette sniffed. "Mah grandpa d-died."
The blonde smiled reassuringly. "It'll be ok! Mah granddad died a few years ago and I'm ok. I'm fine! And it'll be the same for you!"
"How can you be so sure?"
The blonde shrugged. "I dunno, but mah gramps used to say to trust your inner voice and mah inner voice is telling me that everything's gunna be fine for you!"
"Mah… inner voice?"
"Yup. He said it was your heart talking… either that or your conscious, and he also said, 'Kid, you don't want that on ya case.'"
The brunette laughed at the blonde's attempt at a manly voice. "So, I should listen to this voice?" The blonde nodded. "But what if… what if I can't hear it? What if I don't have one? I mean, everyone calls me a bossy boots and a bully…"
"I don't think you're a bully! You're just…" she searched for the right word, "misunderstood. And everyone has this 'voice'. S'just some voices are louder than others."
The brunette smiled genuinely. "Thank you." She bowed her head. "Can I be your friend?"
The blonde gave her a toothy grin. "Sure. And I'll be yours. My name's Sarah."
"Hilary."
Sarah giggled and held out her hand. Hilary clasped it.
"BFF!"
"B…FF?" Hilary asked.
"Best Friends Forever!"
"Sure!"
"Forever!"
"Forever!"
End Flashback
"Forever…" Hilary muttered, sitting in the same spot she had done for countless years. "…Forever, Sarah… you promised me…does that promise still stand? Or am I no longer your friend?" She wiped away a stray tear. "I will not cry… I will not cry…" she chanted under her breath…
"You know, sometimes, it's good to cry." Said a voice behind Hilary.