CC sits at a bar. It's one of the only places that makes her feel comfortable. The other one is at work, working...working besides Maxwell. I wish I were back working. CC thought. I've had enough of this. The man who had been watching her for about a week now, saw her sitting all alone. "I have to talk to her." He said to himself.
"Why do you drink all alone? And so early"
"Cause I can." CC didn't even turn to look in the man's direction.
"Are you a alcoholic?" this time she didn't answer him. She walked to a table to get away from talking to him. He rushed in front of her.
"Let me get that for you." He pulls out a chair for her to sit in. as she sits he pushes it in for her.
CC couldn't believe it. CC's mind: What is with this man?
He tries to make conversation with CC but she doesn't want to talk much. He wants to change that but how he doesn't know. CC gets irritated by his questions and tells the nurse that she wants to go back to her room. The guy just watches her and shrugs
Man's mind: Why is she shutting me out. Something's not quite right there.
CC's room:
CC plops down on the bed. "What the hell was I thinking going down there? What the hell was that man thinking trying to talk to me? Why did he want to? I don't want to talk to anyone. Doesn't anybody get that? What the hell was Niles thinking sending me here? I don't see how this is going to help me? Putting me on some drugs is not going to change a thing."
She sighed as she propped her pillow up against the wall. "Oh how I wanted to strangle Niles at this very moment." She finished her drink and wanted other one. She was about to scream for Niles but remembered that she had no one to wait on her. She started to miss that. "Why?" she thought to herself. "He never really wanted to get anything for me. Never any help." She looked down at empty bottle.
"Is it worth going back to the bar and see that man?" She thought for a minute. "Oh hell with it." She lay back down. CC head was spinning "ahhh" she rubber her eyes. "I'm actually getting to miss Niles," she shook her head. "It's because I can't make fun of him. What else could it be? Oh how I want to..."
Next day
David sees another opportunity to talk with her. Man's mind: I'm going to break her in. she gorgeous I have to understand why she's still here. It's my job to know everyone new here. Most people have been here a long time. I hope she's not one of them. It doesn't do any good to anyone. I should know.
"Hey there"
"uh..." CC looks up in the face of the man she met yesterday. What does this guy want this time? I have to find out. Or he will never leave me alone. "Hello, Hello, I owe you an apology for yesterday. I wasn't thinking straight." She looked down. "They got me on some new drugs"
"Apologies are just words"
"Yeah," she starts to get up. "Maybe you're right"
"Where are you going? Please stay talk with me." She sat back down. "Don't shut me out I want..." He smiled at her. " I want to help"
"I'm not shutting you out. I just... Don't think anyone can help. Being here locked up sure doesn't help." Man's mind: That's a start. She will be broken.
"There's nothing you can say to me that I haven't already heard. What happened to you? If you don't mind me asking?" she looked up at him. This time she had a half smile on her face. CC's mind: This guy's really curious about me. Why?
Man's mind: Great start. I got her to smile. Keep going. Nice and slow with her. "I bet you have someone special waiting on you on the outside"
"What makes you think that"
"A successful beautiful woman like you, all alone. I just don't buy it. That never happens. Not in these times." She just stares silence. "I'm right," he snapped his fingers, "Your married." She laughed.
"Not even close." CC mind: he's not a very good guesser.
"Boyfriend maybe"
"Not a chance"
"Then what? Who was the guy that brought you in? Old lover"
"Now that's funny." She shook her head.
CC mind: Oh how much she missed Niles' wise crakes. She glared at the man across from her. David could see that tears were forming in her eyes. She didn't really want to talk about it or Niles for that matter. She knew that no one not even her therapist could understand her or where she was coming from. But what the hell she would give it a try. CC's mind: What else do I have to lose I'm already locked up for good. I might as well talk to someone. She glared back she wanted to speak but nothing would come out.
"It's all right to cry. Let it all out. No one is going to know but the two of us"
"You don't understand. And never will." She sighed. She wanted to be alone. Then she thought that this was the only person she had around her in almost 2 weeks and didn't even know his name. But that wasn't true. Niles came by twice but both times she was so doped up on drugs she didn't even know he was there.
"Then try to help me. What's got you so...so I don't know...so bitter?" He saw she was trying to think. So he continued on. "The man I saw. Who was he?" She didn't want to talk about Niles, she just couldn't. This was too much for her to handle even though she'd never admit it to anyone. She looked up. "It's not... his fault..."she sighed. She blinked.
CC's mind: How to explain this to someone I don't even know.
"It's not his fault it's mine." David was now really intrigued at this woman. David's mind: Now. There's the story. She's getting to the good part. But how long will she go for? "Yours?" He questioned pulling his chair towards this fascinating situation.
David's mind: What? How can this be all her fault? I know that something was different between the two of them. Something that not all people go though. She holding something back, but what? I have to get it out of her. I want to know. What can she say that I haven't heard before? Something's odd with the way that she is acting.
"I mean it's me. I'm the problem."
"You're the problem?" David's mind: How can she be the problem? "You're saying your feelings, they've changed. But he seems lovely. He looked like he cared enough for you."
"Let's not talk about Niles"
"Oh, so he has a name"
"Yeah," she shook memories that started to form in her head.
"Do you love him?"
"That's...that's just it, I don't...I don't feel." CC mind: This guy must think I nuts now. but it's the truth well at least I think it is. I mean what else could it be?
"Don't feel? What do you mean don't feel? Everybody feels. I never meet someone who couldn't feel. Is that even possible? I don't think that there's a way around it"
"I can't feel. It's like there's something broken inside me. I don't know how to fix it or even if it can be fixed"
"And why do you say that? All people change, in a blink." He smiled her at her looking into her eyes. "I did"
"I just"
"When you say there's something broken inside. What do you mean"
"That's...that's the only way that I can describe what it's like." She breathed in slowly as to think. "I want to love and be loved but I'm..." she just admitted she wanted love. She wanted someone to love her but just where was she going to find that? She started to open up. It was easier then she thought. CC had her hand out on the table top.
"Not able to. Uh"
"Um something like that." David extended his hand out but CC acted like it was a snake, like she was frightened of it. So he pulled it back.