Touched By An Ancient
By Ann3
Writer's Note:- Okay, for all those who have been waiting, so patiently, for Carson to re-join the waking world, the wait's finally over. Word of warning, though, I'm not quite through with putting him through the emotional wringer yet, so tissue alert ! ;o)
Seriously, thanks so much for the latest reviews - I hope you enjoy this latest chapter too !
Chapter Twenty
His first awareness was the salty tang of a brisk sea-breeze, drifting refreshingly across his face. It felt wonderful, reviving memories that, for some odd reason, kept failing to fully re-connect.
Judging by the hushed argument beside him, though, one person at least didn't share that view.
"Are you sure those blinds should be open…? I – I mean, what if he gets cold…?"
"Then we'll close them, Rodney… either that, or find some more blankets for him…" a familiar Scottish burr replied, its exasperation then giving way to softer affection, the contented conviction of being proved right. "Besides, the fresh air will do him good. And if you care to look, I think you'll find he's enjoying it..."
Evidently he was, since Rodney eventually huffed in reluctant agreement before conceding defeat.
"Yeah, I – I guess he must be, if he's smiling…"
A few moments later came the sound of a fastening zipper – and the defensively peeved justification.
"Yes, well, I feel the cold… okay…?"
There was another voice now. Elizabeth's voice, gently assuring him that he was safe, that he was going to be alright.
Alright from what…? Was he sick…? Hurt…? And why the hell did he feel so damn weird…?
Trying to answer these questions was proving too much of an effort, though, so Carson gave up trying. Instead he focussed his energy, such as it was, to a task that didn't need such painful demands – that of cautiously exploring the soft, smooth hand which held one of his own so gently within its grip.
The movements were little more than feeble twitches, but still enough for Elizabeth to feel them – her quiet, excited voice instantly ending the latest debate on Canadians being supposedly used to the cold.
"John… Rodney… I – I think he's waking up…"
"With the noise McKay's making, the whole city's probably awake…"
He must have responded to John Sheppard's retort, since a flurry of voices now called his name – two, it had to be said, with more consideration for his aching head than the jarring demands of another.
"Carson…? It's me, it's Elizabeth… it's alright, Carson, you're safe… you're home…"
"Carson…? Hey, you're - you're really waking up now…? Carson…!"
"Easy, Rodney, remember where he's been, what he's gone through… just go easy on him, okay…?"
He still didn't know what they were talking about. Why they sounded so tired beyond their open relief. But one word that Elizabeth had used to reassure him had been enough to rouse his exhausted mind, giving him just enough strength to force his eyelids open, struggling to focus them on the hazy faces beside him as he whispered a poignantly hopeful reply.
"I – 'm… h – h'me…?"
"Yes, Carson, you're home… you're safe, and you're finally home…" Elizabeth assured him gently, smiling through the paradox of niggling concerns as she watched him dazedly take in his surroundings.
She'd meant Atlantis, of course. The grim sympathy on John Sheppard's face told her he knew that too. But to their CMO's still confused, still so vulnerable mind, home meant somewhere else completely. A place of impossible sights and sounds and memories, the love of cherished company. A safe haven of peace and happiness which was no longer within his reach.
To their dismay, Carson was already shaking his head, his voice rising in uncomprehending panic.
"No, h'me…! H – H'me, wi'… wi' my da'…!"
He was becoming more and more agitated, the heart monitor beside him already chiming in response – Kate's brisk, grim faced intervention causing those stricken blue eyes to close, alarms to fall silent, with merciful speed.
Yet even as he quietened, the nightmare of a frightened, disoriented mind refused to release him – tearful, increasingly faint whispers following Carson into the instant, merciful void of sedated sleep.
"H'me… wan' to… to be… h'me, wi'… wi'… da'…"
At his bedside, four shaken friends traded glances, struggling to come to terms with what they'd just seen and heard. For the moment they'd so anxiously waited to see to end like this – no, it was just too cruel. Too unfair.
Elizabeth's eyes had brimmed with tears that she made no attempt to hide. The same went for Kate. Still staring at his friend in numb disbelief, Rodney McKay was, for once, completely lost for words.
It was, perhaps, destined by fate that John Sheppard should finally break the silence between them. And rarely had two words summed up so much worry, so much dismay. Such heartfelt, bitter concern.
"Oh, crap…"