Disclaimer: I don't own any part of Stargate Atlantis. If I did, John wouldn't be attempting to emulate Captain Kirk.
I'm thinking about doing a companion piece to this one, from John's point of view. Let me know what you think!
"He's a pilot." The words repeat again and again, a litany running through my tired mind. I guess I'm hoping if I repeat them enough the phrase will knock some sense into me. I could definitely use a good dose of sense right about now. You see, I think I've fallen (hard I might add) for my military commander, who in case you hadn't guessed, is a pilot.
It's not that I have anything against pilots per se, but they have certain…reputation for being cocky flyboys with a love 'em and leave 'em type philosophy who really know how to turn up the charm. The latter definitely applies to my Lt. Colonel. All he has to do is flash that cheeky smile or aim those soulful puppy dog eyes at me and I go weak in the knees.
Don't get me wrong, I fought…am still fighting, my growing feelings for him. I fully understand that the possibility of him reciprocating those feelings is zero to none. Why would anyone want to be with someone like me when he has alien beauties throwing themselves at his feet?
Even if he felt the same the potential fallout from a relationship would be enormous. Somehow I don't think Stargate Command would be too keen on the two leaders of the Atlantis expedition "fraternizing;" i.e. showing a preference for each other. I'm also afraid the women he meets off-world would prove too tempting. Hearing about him flirting with some princess would break my heart; and I'm not sure my heart can take anymore, not with Simon's pitying apology still so fresh in my mind. I guess if every other woman he meets is attracted to him I didn't really stand a chance. Unfortunately I think I've moved past mere attraction, that my feelings run deeper.
We've been friends almost from the beginning, once the initial power play was over that is. Like I told the commander of the Daedalus, we've been through a lot together, and so our friendship has grown. He's become my best friend, the one person I trust implicitly. But now it seems as if he suddenly means more to me. I get up in the morning looking forward to the day ahead; simply because I know I'll see him. When his hand brushes mine it feels like electricity is coursing through my veins. The sound of my name coming from his lips causes my chest to tighten, making it hard for me to breathe. He's the only man I can, or want to, imagine spending the rest of my life with. I thought I loved Simon, and maybe I did to an extent, but whatever I felt for him pales in comparison to what I feel for one Lieutenant Colonel, errant cocky flyboy though he may be.
Oh yeah, I've got it bad.