Touched By An Ancient
By Ann3
Writer's Note: Another slightly longer chapter this time, so Carson can start to find out what's bugging Rodney. More to come at the end of the story, but... well, for now, let's just get the boys talking to each other again.
Slight twist on the Rising reference, as you'll see. And, as always, thanks for the reviews - I hope you enjoy !
Chapter Twenty Nine
The mischievous devil in him had been sorely tempted to give his lie-in loving friend an early morning wake up call. As he approached the Chair Room, however, Carson Beckett was quietly relieved he'd resisted that temptation. While his earlier, gloomily miserable mood had thankfully lifted, Rodney McKay's clearly hadn't. And, as usual, it was the miraculously patient Radek Zelenka who was suffering the brunt of it.
"Damn it, Radek, these schematics aren't what I asked for…! They're – They're not even close…! How the hell can you expect me to recalibrate the Chair's interface, when you can't even give me the basics…? Or do I have to do the job myself…? As usual…? Damn it, am I the only person around here who has the slightest clue on what they're doing...?"
Watching this rant, unseen, from the corridor doorway, Carson sighed while ruefully shaking his head. Maybe, as Elizabeth had dryly suggested, he should have had that second bowl of porridge after all. If the depth of his friend's temper was anything to go by, he was going to need the strength.
Instead, guiltily deciding that Radek had suffered enough, he moved, in unseen silence, into the fray – the contrasting quietness of his voice bringing that one-sided fray to an instant, mutually stunned halt.
"Hello, Rodney…"
Part of him felt guilty that his friend's head had spun so rapidly around that he was risking some serious whiplash. But at least now he had Rodney McKay's full, undivided, and, most importantly, speechless attention.
Taking full advantage of that silence, not knowing how long it would last, he then turned to Zelenka – wryly noting the Czech's grateful nod of agreement long before his quiet suggestion was completed.
"Radek, I'm sure those schematics will come right for you after a wee break, lad… right, Rodney…?"
The voice was still soft, perfectly calm – yet it now prompted a mass exodus out of the Chair Room.
If not for being held locked by two deadly serious blue eyes, Rodney McKay would have joined them. Only his finely honed senses of survival and self preservation stopped him from doing so. That would only lead to an already seriously miffed Scottish doctor having to track him down, and… well, not even the brash and brilliant Rodney McKay would dare to do anything that stupid.
Instead, still nervously watching his friend, he settled for the closest protection he could find – too unsettled, and agitated, to notice the flicker of wry amusement which now graced Carson's face. Nothing, it seemed, sheltered a nervous scientist quite so well as the backrest of an Ancient's Chair.
That scientist had seemingly read his thoughts, and put his own conscience-struck slant on them. Remembering what he'd said on that harrowing, fateful day, McKay looked more awkward than ever. On the plus side, though, memories of brashly insensitive words now brought further apology for them
"I'm – I'm sorry, Carson… for – for what I said before, it – it was a dumb, stupid thing to say, and…"
"Aye, lad, I know you are…" Carson cut in softly, studying his friend with more dutifully serious eyes. As another awkward silence fell between them, he then sighed, trying to think how best to break it. Part of the quiet heart to heart he'd had with Elizabeth earlier gave him just the inspiration he needed.
"I thought we'd settled all this, Rodney. What you said back then, it's all gone and forgotten now…"
Gone, maybe – but clearly not forgotten, if McKay's flustered response was anything to go by.
"I know that, Carson…! I – I know that, and I thought that too, but… but it's just…"
"All come back to you since that last session I had in the Chair… hasn't it…?" Carson cut in gently – notching up another 'I owe you one' credit to Elizabeth as pained eyes slid tellingly away from his.
She'd been right on something else, too, he dryly reflected, as he came to stand at Rodney's side. Despite their differing natures, there'd always been this special bond of understanding between them. In fact, there'd been times where he'd understood his friend better than Rodney McKay knew himself.
Through that rare, privileged closeness, he knew Rodney McKay better than anyone else on the base. Then again, the rest of the expedition team hadn't posed him much threat in the way of competition. For reasons that needed no explanation, Rodney McKay wasn't exactly high in the popularity stakes.
His circle of friends could be counted on two hands. Close friends could be counted on just one. As for friends he trusted enough to freely confide in… well, for that you just needed to use the tip of a finger.
He needed that friend now, to help heal a wound which, Carson now realised, had scarred both of them. And while that wound had now closed for him, it still ran deeply, painfully raw, for Rodney McKay.
He'd open up eventually, of course, once he was calm enough, and settled enough, to do so. Carson knew that. In the meantime, he had a few conscience-easing apologies of his own to make.
"I'm sorry too, Rodney, for being so selfish… for being so bloody insensitive…" he said at last – cementing that apology with a gentle, equally heartfelt squeeze on his friend's shoulder.
He'd meant it as a means of reassurance. Instead it caused his friend to jump out of his skin.
"Jeez, Carson…!" he yelped, frantically checking his wrist to make sure his pulse was still there. "Is business for you so slow today that you're having to provide your own patients…?"
Staring back at him, in genuine dismay, Carson then felt one side of his mouth helplessly twitch. Trust Rodney to turn this moment of heartfelt sentiment into a McKay Medical Melodrama.
Hoping he had that smile sufficiently under control to look convincingly contrite, he then shrugged.
"Sorry, Rodney…"
"Oh yes, of course you are… that sick little grin on your face tells me that…" Rodney shot back – another, more genuine apology turning a baleful scowl into a frown of promisingly familiar curiosity. "Apart from scaring ten years out of my life expectancy, you're sorry for what, exactly…?"
Carson was frowning too now, in real seriousness, as he nodded towards the Chair beside them.
"For this… for the old wounds it's opened up for you, regarding your dad…"
Now it was Rodney's turn to stare, in astonishment, that his private torment had been read so easily.
"How – How did…?" he stammered, pre-empting Carson's reply before he'd even opened his mouth. "Okay, dumb question, what with you, me and the whole mind-meld thing, but… I – I mean…"
The reply, this time, went uninterrupted. Given its subdued quietness, it was really just as well.
"I know how much it hurts, Rodney. I know how bloody hard it is, to accept and come to terms with it. But most of all, I know the hell it causes if you keep that anger and pain to yourself for too long…"
Rodney just nodded this time, remaining tellingly silent while he considered his friend's words.
Yet even as this silence between them continued to stretch, Carson resisted the natural urge to break it. If there was one thing he'd learned, and perfected, in his time as a doctor, it was the art of tactful quiet.
The silence between them now told him that Rodney McKay wasn't ready, quite yet, to confide in him. But at least they were talking to each other calmly again – a distinct improvement on the previous day.
Rodney had sensed this breakthrough too, since a trace of a smile re-appeared as he met Carson's eyes. And the return of that sarcastic humour…? The familiar insults…? Oh yes, a definite improvement.
"So you've progressed from voodoo to psychiatry now…?"
"With you lot to look after, I've not had much bloody choice…"
Staying wisely silent on that point, Rodney just shrugged while pensively stroking the Chair's armrest.
"Hell of a thing, isn't it…?" he said at last, tracing its intricate power with all the reverence it deserved.
"Aye, lad, it is that…" Carson agreed, frowning slightly as he noticed the tiredness on his friend's face. "I'm just sorry it's causing you such a headache to get it up and running again… not to mention…"
"What, are you kidding…?" McKay broke in, with all the enthusiasm Carson had secretly hoped for. "Aside from the boost it's given the weapons systems, it's also powered up the main shields, and… well, if Zelenka can just get the schematics right, I reckon we can power up the ZPM too, and…"
The excited tumble of words then skidded to a halt as McKay shot an awkward look sideways.
"Remind me to… um… well, you know, to… um…"
"Say sorry to Radek later…?" Carson supplied, with the gentle patience of frequently used practice.
Watching the subdued tiredness of Rodney's acceding nod, he then grew instantly serious again – another gentle squeeze on his friend's shoulder met with a wearily grateful smile as he rubbed his eyes.
"I know there's no chance in hell of taking one, but… God, I could use a vacation right now…"
Blocked by his fingers, he didn't see the 'light-bulb' smile which now lit up Carson Beckett's face. All he heard was an equally rueful, innocent sigh that hid a germinating seed of conspiratory genius.
"Aye, lad… aye, couldn't we all…?"