Ch. 2: Here with me
Walt was semi-aware in that state of not quite asleep and not yet awake.
Rolling onto his side, he stretched his arm out. Unlike the morning before when he was met with empty space, this time his hand made contact with something solid.
Vic.
He pressed the side of his face into the pillow and opened his eyes a crack, wondering if he were still having some sort of dream. It was mostly dark in the room with only a few slivers of light coming in and creating an almost gauzy effect. It lent to the dreamlike quality of the moment.
He wasn't dreaming.
With the lack of light, he was able to open his eyes wider. She was there in the flesh. As a matter of fact, that was all she was in. He could see the sheet riding low on her chest, exposing the skin all the way to the top of her breasts.
Her head was turned in his direction with some hair having fallen across, partially obscuring her features. The slow rise and fall of her chest told him that she was still sleep. Moving carefully, Walt shifted his weight so that he was more comfortable and he could see her more clearly. Reaching out with his free hand, he gently eased the hair back from her face with his index finger.
Her face twitched and he stopped moving, his hand frozen in motion. Her eyelids fluttered, but didn't open. Withdrawing his hand, he propped up his head and watched her as the moments slipped by him.
Sleeping, she looked more peaceful than she ever looked while she was awake. There was an intensity in Vic that he hadn't ever quite gotten used to. Now, he was finding out that it carried over into all aspects of her life. Not that he was surprised by that. With all the experience he felt he lacked in the intimacy department, he was starting to see that Vic possessed it in spades. And, she knew exactly how to wield it to get him where she wanted him.
Not that he minded.
He hadn't imagined the second time would be as good as the first. Maybe even better.
Some part of him was surprised that she stayed with him again overnight. He was worried that she might need space or time or something. He would have given her that, of course. But, he wouldn't have enjoyed it. What he did enjoy was this. Simply being with her in a way that was both new and oddly familiar.
Her eyes fluttered again. This time they opened and landed on him almost immediately. For a drawn out pause, she merely looked at him. Pressing her lips together, she stretched her arms up over her head and Walt's eyes were drawn to the sheet that just barely covered her.
Dropping her arms, she gave him an odd look.
"What are you doin'?"
He shrugged the shoulder that wasn't under him.
"Nothing."
She considered him, dismissing his claim.
"Were you watching me?"
He didn't see any point in being dishonest.
"Yep."
"Hmm."
It was more of a humming sound. She brought her hand up and stifled a yawn.
"Why?"
"Why not?"
Vic frowned and rolled her eyes.
"It's too early for you to try and be funny."
He smiled.
"Sorry."
The lack of sentiment in the word earned him a look.
"No, you're not."
Her eyes moved around the room.
"What time is it?"
"Early."
She sighed at his vague answer.
"Early as in I can sleep longer?"
"Not that early. Early enough that you can get a shower and I'll make you some breakfast. Do you have a change of clothes?"
"Yeah, in my truck."
His hand moved and landed on her sternum.
"Want me to get it for you? You seem…underdressed."
"So do you."
"Yeah, but I have clothes in the dresser."
He traced his finger down the center of her chest towards the edge of the sheet. Vic's eyes darkened as his hand moved lower.
"If you keep that up, neither of us are getting up any time soon."
"Hmm…that a threat?"
"Nope. A fact."
His hand stilled, but stayed where it was. He was still looking at her in the same unwavering way. Vic tilted her head on the pillow.
"What?"
She was starting to sound somewhat exasperated. Walt's expression shifted, growing serious.
"You're beautiful."
Something he couldn't name crossed her face. When she didn't respond, he leaned down and started to kiss her. Vic's hands came up and pushed on his chest.
"I have morning breath."
Walt shook his head as he pressed on, narrowing the distance between them.
"I don't care."
With that, he pressed his mouth to hers and her arms slid around his neck. It was a long, languid kiss that he felt all the way through his toes. Vic dipped her head a bit and deepened the kiss as he started to move towards and slightly over her, pressing her further into the mattress. Her legs separated and allowed him the space to settle on top of her, supporting part of his own weight.
She broke the kiss off and looked in the general direction of his clock.
"We can't…"
He kissed her.
"…be late again."
Walt pushed his nose into the hollow of her neck, his mouth trailing kisses.
"We won't be."
xxx
She wasn't going to be late.
That's what she told herself.
Most likely she wouldn't be. If she was, it wouldn't be by much. True to his word, Walt did make her breakfast. Although, thanks to his distracting behavior, they didn't have time for a leisurely breakfast. It was more of an eat and run kind of thing. When she left his cabin, he was finishing up with the dishes at his own insistence that she not help.
She was dressed for work, but she wanted to stop by her RV on the way in. It wasn't exactly on her way. It wasn't all that far out of her way either. Her intention was two-fold. One, she needed to check on it. While there wasn't much in the way of serious trouble in the trailer park due to Joe Mega's knowledge of everyone's business, there were occasional thefts and break-ins. Giving her own trailer the appearance of no one being around might invite problems that she would rather avoid if possible. Second, she needed to dump her dirty clothes and replenish the supply of extras she kept in her truck as well as in her desk at work.
Experience told her it was in her best interest not to let that habit slide.
She pulled in and parked her truck, sliding out with her keys in her hand. Shouldering her overnight bag, she crossed the short space to her front door and slipped the key into the lock. Just as she moved to turn the knob, she heard a familiar voice behind her.
"Vic."
She turned and her eyes landed on Travis Murphy. Her hand fell away from the door knob and she turned to face him, a tight feeling winding its way through her. She hadn't spoken to Travis since the night she took his car and left him under the guise of checking out her trailer for intruders. She never got around to calling him like Walt urged her to do. In all honesty, she dreaded the prospect of being face to face with him.
One more bad decision to add to her ever growing collection.
Jesus, she could start her own club.
Screw ups are us.
"Travis."
It was all she could push out given the surprise of seeing him. The information coming to her was that he was gone. She knew that was partially due to her. She knew that Travis had feelings for her, although she wasn't sure of the depth of his feelings. She hadn't given it much thought or credence. She appreciated his being a friend during the brief period he knew she was pregnant. But, she also found him to be pushy and intrusive in matters that she felt were her own.
Like telling Walt that she was pregnant.
She recognized she should have told Walt well before she did. Her assertion that it wasn't any of his business was true on a personal level. But, as her boss, it would have been in everyone's best interest to tell him. Truth was, she didn't want to face the look of disappointment that she was certain would cross his face.
More water under more bridges.
She also knew that whatever Travis' intentions were, they would never be a 'them.' He was too immature and too flighty. He wasn't a bad guy, but not exactly long term material either. The same could be said for her these days. At the very least, she could actually hold a job. That was something Travis struggled with.
He looked the same as he always did, wearing worn out looking jeans and a t-shirt that was too tight for his frame. He wore scuffed up work boots and a ball cap with the name of a company she didn't recognize, the bill of the cap fraying. What he seemed to lack was the swagger and cowboy confidence that she always associated with guys like him.
And Branch.
Vic shoved the thoughts out forcefully as he ambled over.
"Hey. How are you?"
"Good. You?"
He shrugged and stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jeans.
"I'm getting by. You look good."
She tried to give him a smile, but knew it faltered.
"Thanks. I…thought you moved."
He shrugged.
"I did. Been out of town. Lost my job, though. Back living with my mom."
Second verse, same as the first.
"What…are you doing here?"
He pulled one hand free and gestured to the right in a general way.
"Visiting a friend. Might be moving in with him temporarily. My mom is driving me up the wall."
Vic huffed out a laugh.
"I bet."
He shuffled his feet and ran his eyes over her in a way that gave her the urge to squirm. She resisted.
"I've been by your place a couple of times. But, you weren't home. I saw you…just now. Late night?"
She didn't have any intention of answering that question.
"I'm about to go to work so…"
She let her eyes leave his and drift to her truck. He didn't seem anxious to let her go.
"Big case?"
"Something like that."
Vic reached up and opened her door, stepping away from him and hoping that he would get the hint. Unfortunately, Travis Murphy wasn't good at taking hints.
"Look, I've got to get to work so…"
His eyes flicked between her and the open door and she hoped like hell he wasn't about to ask to come in.
"Right. Uh…maybe we can have dinner one day. Or…a drink."
He sounded pathetically hopeful and it pressed in on her. She knew that she was guilty of using him in more ways than one. Now, she didn't want to be around him for that very reason. She gave him a non-committal look and stepped up onto the first step.
"I'll see you around."
Not giving him time to answer, she stepped up into the RV and pulled the door closed. As she passed the window to go to her tiny sleeping area, she caught a glimpse of him as he wandered off back in the general direction that he came from.
She didn't really want to see him around. He was one more reminder of what she lost. More solid proof that her decision making skills were sorely lacking and that invited all the self-doubt back in. All the negative thoughts that she was trying so hard to keep at bay. All the questions that she was trying not to ask herself.
She kept telling herself that she learned her lesson. She wouldn't make the same mistakes again. She was determined to get shit right this go round.
This go round?
With Walt.
That was what she wanted. These days, her own mind was her staunchest enemy, throwing doubt on almost everything that she did. She knew that Walt was trying to allay her fears and her doubts. He was trying to help her move past them in his own subtle way.
However, at the end of the day, she was all too aware that she was the only one who could make the decisions that needed to be made. She was the one who needed to figure out how to move forward.
Or, if moving forward was possible at all.
xxx
Vic was quiet.
It didn't take an investigator to realize it. He was at Ruby's desk when she came in right on time. She glanced at them both and offered up a muted greeting. It struck him immediately that she didn't seem to be in the same mood as when she left the cabin earlier in the morning.
She was like that these days and it could be difficult to maintain equilibrium when her moods changed that way. He understood. He knew what she was going through. Maybe more than anyone else.
As far as he knew, she hadn't shared the information about her miscarriage with many people. He knew. She told her father when he was in town. So, there was a good chance her family knew. Henry knew.
No one at work seemed aware of it.
Her moodiness could just have easily been chalked up to nearly dying. It certainly wasn't unheard of. For once, he wasn't on the outside looking in. His knowledge was firsthand and came directly from the source. That meant it was possible that he was her primary means of support. It was a role that he took seriously.
She mumbled her 'good morning' and busied herself with work at her desk. He cast her a look, careful not to linger too long. He wanted to ask her what was wrong. But, he didn't have any legitimate reason to do that in the middle of the office.
That was the fine line he was walking between the personal and professional. It could be a struggle. Although, it wasn't entirely new. He had been working to keep that line between them almost since the week that he hired her.
Despite everything that rubbed others the wrong way, Walt took a liking to her almost immediately when she came into his office with just enough attitude to keep him on his toes. He knew then that she would be an asset to his staff. His only question was would she stay long enough for that to come to fruition.
He went back to his office, leaving the door open. She sat at her desk with her head bent over her work. He noticed that she took out her earbuds and stuffed them into her ears, pumping in music from her phone. That was code for she was in her own world and didn't want to be bothered unless it was actually important.
So, he got busy with his own work and let his own thoughts occupy the space in his mind that they so frequently demanded. Still, his eyes kept raising and sitting on her back as she worked at her desk, oblivious to what was going on around her.
Twice, she pulled out her earbuds, picked up her phone, and made a call. It never ceased to amaze him how fast she could dial numbers, her fingers moving nimbly over the keys. Both times, once she ended the call, she put her earbuds back in and returned to whatever it was that she was doing.
That was how the morning droned on. That was certainly how it felt. All the while, his attention alternated between his space and Vic's, never settling for very long on either one.
Finally, his attention was drawn by her standing. She dropped her earbuds on the desk and pulled the cord loose from her phone. She looked at her phone before she slid it into the back pocket of her jeans and stretched her arms up over her head. The move pulled at the back of her shirt, but it didn't quite come untucked. Still, Vic reached back and readjusted her shirt before she moved out of his line of sight and said something he couldn't hear to Ruby.
The older woman answered and then she was back where he could see her. She wasn't at her desk, though. She was facing his door and coming through the threshold. Walt lifted his eyes as she approached.
"You want some lunch?"
Her question caught him off guard. He didn't realize it was lunch time.
"Lunch?"
The word came out sounding foreign to his tongue. She gave him a mildly impatient look.
"Yeah, you know…the meal you eat in the middle of the day. I'm walking over to the Busy Bee. Thought I'd ask."
That must have been what she was talking to Ruby about.
"Right. Um…sure."
He didn't sound sure at all and it earned him an odd look.
"Don't feel obligated."
Walt shook the cobwebs loose from his head and leaned forward.
"Lunch would be good. Want me to walk over with you?"
She shook her head.
"Nah, that's okay. I just need some air. So…do you just want the usual or what?"
Walt nodded.
"Sure."
She tilted her head at him.
"Are you alright?"
"Yep."
"Okay. You seem…weird."
He didn't want to tell her that he spent the bulk of his morning watching her back and wondering what was going on in her head.
"I'm…good. You?"
"Fine."
She eyed him.
"Are you sure you're okay?"
He smiled.
"Yes. Perfectly fine."
She gave him another long, wordless look and turned away from him, heading for her own desk.
"I'll be back in a few minutes."
He didn't respond as she continued to move by her desk and through the office. He couldn't see her anymore. But, he could hear the sound of her boots on the wooden planks of the floor. It was a sound that he knew well. She stopped at Ruby's desk and he heard another exchange. Again, he couldn't understand what they were saying.
Then, the office door opened and closed and she was gone. The sound of her walking faded away until he was only left with the sound of Ruby typing and the fan that was swirling around in a poor attempt to circulate the air in his office.
xxx
It was a nice day.
That was an understatement. It was an impossibly beautiful day with expansive blue skies that were cloudless. The color was so rich, it demanded a pause and a longer look. The temperatures were pleasantly warm and a breeze was blowing in from the mountains. It was the kind of day that highlighted the appeal of Wyoming.
With it still being summer, they were still dealing with tourists. Many of them were patrons of the casino who mainly wandered into town either looking for authentic places to shop and eat or because they were bored with slot machines and losing money. The rest were nature types that were here for the scenery.
Hikers. Campers.
Once summer started to pass away, they would slowly trickle out of town, leaving only residents in their wake. There weren't many tourists who still wanted to be here once the Wyoming winter set in. That's when the area lost its small town appeal quickly.
The walk to the Busy Bee did her some good. She didn't hurry for once in her life and simply wandered down the sidewalk letting the fresh air clear out her mind. She hated feeling distracted like this. The slow morning did little to alleviate the situation.
As usual, the café was crowded with an eclectic clientele. Vic didn't mind. She placed her order to Dorothy who gave her a hurried smile and then took a seat at the far end of the counter on a stool to wait. While she did, her eyes surveyed the room, moving from table to table and looking over the diners.
It was the usual mix for this time of year.
She hadn't even realized she spent so much time sitting when she heard Dorothy call out to her in a voice that was raised to be heard over the din of people who were eating lunch and clearly having a good time.
"Vic, your order."
She looked up to see Dorothy holding up a large paper bag. A drink carrier sat in front of the older woman with their three orders of iced tea. Vic stood and collected the offering, paying and slipping out the door as someone else came in.
Her walk back kept up a brisker pace so their food didn't get cold. She managed the door and then took the steps up to the office. Placing the bag and drink carrier on her desk, she fished out Ruby's and passed it off.
"Thank you, Vic."
Vic flashed her a barely there smile before taking the rest of it into Walt's office. He still looked busy, but somewhat vacant like she when asked him about lunch in the first place. She set an iced tea on his desk along with a smaller bag with a crumpled top. He took it and peered inside.
"The usual?"
"Yeah…"
She glanced at him.
"…it's a patty melt with fries."
He nodded and looked at her.
"What did you get?"
"A salad. Don't tell me you want to trade."
He smiled a bit.
"Nope. Do you…"
He gestured at a chair.
…want to eat in here?"
She glanced at the chair with a nod and pulled it over closer to his desk. It wasn't anything out of the ordinary that would create undue attention. They frequently shared meals while they were working both out in public and in his office.
Vic settled in and unwrapped a plastic fork. Walt was busy chewing, his eyes lifting to her every few seconds while she opened the container holding what looked like a typical salad and added Italian dressing, using her fork to stir the concoction.
She looked up to find him watching her.
"What?"
She stabbed her fork through a tomato and ate it, her eyes still on him. Walt took a drink of his tea before leaning back in his chair.
"Are you okay?"
Vic's chewing slowed.
"Yeah."
He didn't look convinced.
"You're…quiet today."
"Well, I've been working. It's…what you pay me for."
Walt looked at her for a long moment before he stood up, walked around his desk, crossed the floor, and pushed the door closed with a secure click. Retaking his seat, he lifted his sandwich and gave her a look that was full of unasked questions.
"You sure?"
He said it in that way he did that prickled her skin. His tone made it nearly impossible for her to not tell him whatever it was that he wanted to know. She briefly wondered if he realized he had that affect on her and decided that he probably didn't.
She sighed and pushed her fork through a leaf of lettuce. Taking a breath, she raised her eyes to meet his.
"When I stopped by the trailer park this morning…Travis was there."
He didn't have a visual reaction to the comment. He just continued to look at her.
"I wasn't aware that he was back."
"Me either."
"How was it seeing him?"
She shrugged and let her eyes fall to her uneaten food.
"Pretty crappy. I never…I haven't spoken to him since…"
Her words trailed off.
"I should've called him like you said. And, I never did."
"Then you probably weren't ready."
She shook her head.
"It's a shitty way to treat someone."
He didn't say anything.
"Anyway, it was awkward as hell. You know…I still don't know if he was the father."
His eyes didn't waver from hers.
"You never looked at the blood test results?"
She shook her head.
"No. I thought…it wouldn't have changed anything. I only did that because…"
She stopped abruptly. Walt sat quietly while her eyes looked for somewhere to land. She inhaled.
"…I wanted to know more about her. But, none of it matters."
"It does if you want it to."
She lifted her eyes.
"You never asked."
"Wasn't my business."
"Is that the truth? Or, did you just not want to know?"
Her question didn't seem to rattle him.
"I had my suspicions. But…if you wanted me to know…you would tell me."
Her head nodded a bit. She closed the lid of her lunch container and dropped it in the trash along with her fork. She shifted around in her chair and ran her palms over her jeans.
"It was either Travis or Eamonn. But, you already knew that."
"Yep."
That was the only confirmation he offered. Walt looked by her to the closed door.
"Travis…broke in here the night…that you were shot…and was looking for Eamonn's file. He assumed that's who it was."
Her eyes widened.
"Broke in?"
"Well, he had your keys. So, technically he didn't break in. But…"
He pushed out a breath.
"…he was drunk and upset."
She shook her head.
"I treated him badly. He deserved better."
Walt leaned forward.
"Don't be so hard on yourself. You went through something traumatic. No one else can give you a…a timetable for how and when you should grieve or talk to people. Only you can decide that. You were…in a bad way, Vic. Maybe it's for the best that you didn't talk to Travis. It might have done more harm than good."
She studied him.
"Why do you do that?"
He looked puzzled.
"What?"
"Defend me so…so staunchly."
Again, he simply looked at her for a long minute or two before answering.
"I wasn't there for you like I should've been. You should have felt like you could come to me with all of this. And, you didn't. Most of that…is my fault."
Vic dismissed the comment.
"You were in the middle of a civil suit, Walt. You were entitled to a little selfishness."
"Yeah, a lawsuit in which you always…backed me up. I never…told you how much that meant to me. I should have."
A humorless smile crossed her face.
"Jesus, look at us. I should have done this. Or that."
She bit the inside of her cheek and stood up from her chair.
"We really need to stop doing that."
That was all she said before she walked out and left him with the remnants of his lunch.
xxx
"Can I tell you something?"
"Mmm-hmm."
Her response was partially muffled by the pillow her chin was pressed into. Vic lay on her side, facing away from him. Walt was sidled up to her with his arm draped over her hip and his hand resting on her stomach. The sheet was pulled across them messily with one of her bare legs sticking out up to the calf.
"Do you remember the day I gave you the riding lesson?"
"Yeah."
She sounded almost drowsy.
"I told you that your dad came by the office to see me."
"Yeah."
"I wasn't completely honest with you."
Vic rolled onto her back so that she was looking at his face,
"What do you mean?"
Walt propped his head up in his hand.
"He did let me know how unhappy he was that you were shot. That he blamed me for it. He also told me that you wanted to go home…to Philadelphia. And he asked me not to stop you."
She narrowed her eyes.
"Why didn't you tell me that when I asked?"
He stroked one hand over her sheet clad abdomen.
"I was afraid that he was telling the truth. I thought…maybe if I didn't bring it up, you wouldn't tell me that you were leaving."
She huffed out a breath.
"You don't think that I would've told you if I was planning to leave? For work if nothing else?"
"I guess…I didn't think about it in those terms. All I could think about was that I didn't want you to leave."
"What if I did tell you that I was leaving? Would you have tried to stop me?"
He didn't like his own answer. He also knew that he needed to stop holding back.
"I don't know."
"You don't know?"
There was a sarcasm to her words.
"I would have wanted to. You already lost so much. If you really wanted to leave, and I tried to stop you, that would be selfish."
They lay in the quiet for a few minutes and he could see her thinking over his answer.
"Why are you telling me this now?"
His shoulder shifted.
"You said you wanted honesty. I…don't want to keep things from you. There's been enough of that."
"Yes, there has."
There was a question on his mind. He hesitated. She must have seen it cross his face because she studied him like a book.
"What?"
"I want to ask you something."
One side of her mouth pulled up in an almost there smile.
"What? You tell me something so that I'll do the same?"
"Maybe."
Vic sighed.
"What is it?"
Another long pause on his part. Enough to bring about uncertainty in her features. She suddenly seemed rattled by his silence.
"Walt?"
He forged ahead, still unsure if this was a good idea.
"Why didn't you tell me that you were pregnant?"
There. He said it. For a moment, she didn't say anything. But, he saw the myriad of emotions that ran across her face. It was enough to make him regret the question. Now it was his turn to be uncomfortable in her silence.
Finally, she answered somewhat haltingly.
"I wanted to. I…really did. But…"
She blew out a breath.
"…there was already so much on your plate. And…I was afraid that you wouldn't let me do my job. I was afraid that you would…be disappointed in me. I didn't want to see that look on your face."
He took in her answer. Thought about it as she continued.
"In hindsight, had I told you…things may have turned out differently. You…shouldn't have found out from Travis. I'm sorry about that. How did that come up?"
Walt remembered the night clearly seeing as how it was just before all hell broke loose.
"He came to my office late, after everyone was gone, with a ring."
A frown settled over her.
"A ring?"
"Yeah. He said he didn't know if you were in love with me, but that either I give it to you or he would. Because someone needed to take care of you…and the baby."
She gave him an indignant look.
"He actually gave you an ultimatum? He was…he was gonna ask me to marry him?"
She sounded incredulous.
"Yep."
Vic shook her head.
"Jesus."
Walt pushed his luck.
"What would you have said?"
"Um…no. I already have one divorce under my belt. I'm not looking for another one. Not to mention…Travis tried…but he can barely take care of himself. God, I can't believe he came to you about that."
Walt didn't seem bothered by it. He ventured his next comment with caution.
"I think, in the back of his mind, he thought I might be the father."
She didn't seem surprised by the idea, making him wonder if Travis asked her the same question that Henry asked him.
"Did he tell you that?"
"Not then. Later, when he showed up at the office drunk."
She just shook her head.
"What a mess."
She grew quiet then and her face took on a pensive look. Walt readjusted his head in his hand so that he was more comfortable.
"What are you thinking about?"
Her eyes shifted back to his, sitting there and holding them.
"How all of this could've been avoided if we weren't so damn scared of how we feel."
She stopped for a handful of seconds.
"I am scared, Walt. Of…of us. Of…what happens if this doesn't work out. Of something happening to you. All of it…scares the shit out of me."
She seemed impossibly vulnerable in that moment, a sudden change in her demeanor from only a moment before.
"I know. It scares me, too. But…the worst thing that you can do is give in to fear, to let it win."
"I know."
Her eyes roamed his face, that same openness still there making her seem more exposed than he had ever seen her. Her eyes stayed on his.
"Travis was right."
Walt frowned slightly.
"About what?"
She swallowed before speaking.
"I am in love with you. I have been for a long time."
Walt felt the pace of his heart speed up, pounding hard in his chest. That admission was the last thing he expected her to say three days into this. She was the one who seemed so reticent to open herself up, yet here she was doing just that. He realized that it spoke volumes about the trust that existed between them.
In spite of it all.
"Vic…"
She raised her hand and placed her thumb over his mouth. The move silenced him.
"Don't…say it. Not yet. Not because I said it. I just…wanted you to know."
The sincerity in her words struck him. Hard. He simply nodded before he lowered his face and kissed her. When he pulled back, she smiled at him before she turned back onto her side into the previous position she occupied before they started talking. She settled back in and Walt folded himself along her back, his arm sliding across her hips, drawing her to him. He pressed a kiss to her shoulder before letting his head come to rest on the pillow.
He was telling her the truth. He was afraid. Had been afraid of his feelings for far too long. He knew what it took for her to put herself out there like she just did, exposing a part of her that she worked diligently at keeping in check.
She wasn't as good at it as she once was. He was grateful for that. He relished in seeing underneath the tough exterior. He wouldn't have ever imagined that she could be as soft as she was when they were alone together like this.
It pulled at something inside of him.
It brought certain things into focus.
The same issue that kept coming up in his mind all day at work. He wasn't sure what the right path was at this point. He only knew what it was that he wanted at this point in his life. He would need to give it some more thought before he made a final decision on the matter.
But, the picture was becoming clearer by the second.
xxx
"Have you ever considered grocery shopping?"
Vic was standing in front of his refrigerator, door open, peering inside at the contents that it held. More like…didn't hold. Walt continued to gaze out the window, coffee cup in hand. There was something astoundingly domestic about the morning.
Despite the heaviness of their conversation the night before, there wasn't the same trepidation he saw in her two mornings prior. Or, even the previous morning to some degree. She seemed to be easing herself in, her comfort level growing with each day that passed.
"I've considered it."
Vic let out an exasperated breath and closed the door with a thump. Grabbing her coffee from the counter, she turned to face him.
"Maybe you should do more than consider it."
She took a sip of her coffee, watching him over the rim of her cup. Walt finally turned his eyes away from the window and towards her.
"There's bread if you want some toast."
Vic took another drink of her coffee and shook her head.
"I'll just pick something up on the way to work."
She gave him a saccharine smile when she said it and Walt felt a flush run up his neck.
"I'll go by the store today. Pick up some things. Any requests?"
She gave him a long look as she set her mug down on the counter and leaned on it.
"Something besides eggs."
Walt made a face.
"You like eggs."
"Yes, I do. If I keep eating them every single morning, I won't like them anymore. You know…there's an entire menu of breakfast foods out there, Walt. There's oatmeal, bacon, breakfast sandwiches, even cereal once in a while."
A smile tugged its way onto his face as she continued.
"They say variety is the spice of life."
He considered her.
"Is that what they say?"
"Yes."
"Who are they?"
She rolled her eyes and lifted her cup of coffee.
"They are people who don't want to eat the exact same thing for breakfast every morning."
She drained her cup and gave the pot a long look.
"There's enough if you want more."
Vic nodded slowly.
"I know. But, if I stop and get breakfast, it'll be at the Busy Bee. If I go to the Busy Bee, I'll need some of Dorothy's coffee. That would be cup number three and then I'll be jittery as hell until the caffeine wears off."
Decision made, she set her cup in the sink and turned to him. He seemed to be in a thoughtful mood this morning. Quiet and pensive. Not that it was unusual. Walt got that way frequently. It could sometimes drive a person crazy the silence that he was capable of.
He had gotten up before her, dressed, and left the bedroom. She wasn't sure how much earlier. By the time she was up, there was coffee ready with a cup missing. When she found the cabin quiet and still, she ventured out to the porch. That was where he was sitting with his cup resting on his leg as he looked out into the distance.
When she questioned what he was doing, he simply told her that he was up early enough to watch the sunrise and didn't want to wake her. On the surface, she accepted that. So far, he hadn't given her any reason to doubt his intentions or what he told her.
Still, both mornings before he was more talkative, taking an active role in the morning. Today, there was that quiet about him that sometimes left her unsettled. She tried to combat the nagging feeling in her stomach by looking for something to eat, and coming up empty.
She was having a hard time pegging him and that bothered her. There was enough uncertainty in her life already. She wasn't looking to add to it. At the same time, he was entitled to his thoughts just as she was. Still, with their talk last night still fresh in her mind, she couldn't help but harbor some concerns that maybe she shouldn't have been so open with him.
Maybe she shouldn't have been so honest about her feelings.
It wasn't her intention. That wasn't something she did. Ever. Not this soon. But, everything about this scenario with Walt felt different, more developed, than anything else she experienced. And, this was Walt. She trusted him above anyone else. She kept telling herself that she could trust him with her heart.
She just wasn't fully convinced of that yet.
Leaving him in the kitchen with his coffee and his thoughts, Vic walked into the living room to finish getting ready for her day. She clipped her cuffs and badge onto her belt, followed by her holstered Glock 9mm. As she was looking down, arranging the items like she wanted them, she heard the shuffle of his feet behind her.
Vic turned to find him watching her again.
"I'll see you at work."
Walt's face didn't give anything away.
"I'll pick up breakfast."
She cocked her head.
"What?"
"Don't stop by the Busy Bee. I'll pick up something for the office."
She stared at him for the better part of a minute.
"I can get my own breakfast."
He just sipped his coffee before setting it down and looking around for his boots.
"I know. But, let me do this. For everyone."
That was all he offered up. Vic hesitated before she answered.
"Oh-kay. Are…you alright?"
Walt pushed his feet into his boots, bending down to straighten them.
"Yep."
Standing back up, he picked up his cup and took a backwards step.
"I'll see you in a while."
Leaving her no time to answer, he turned and walked into the kitchen.