Ch. 7: String me on the line
"Did you always want to be a cop?"
Vic glanced at Cady through the dark lenses of her sunglasses.
"When I was a kid?"
Cady nodded, her uniform shirt crisp and obviously ironed. Vic expected nothing less. Cady always seemed so well put together in stark contrast to herself.
"Yes."
Vic shifted her hand on the steering wheel.
"Yeah, I guess so. You know…my dad's Chief of Detectives. All my brothers are on the force in Philly except for one."
She could feel Cady watching her.
"How many brothers do you have?"
"Four."
"Wow."
Cady halfway smiled and shook her head.
"So…what does your other brother do?"
"He owns a restaurant with my uncle."
Cady huffed out a breath of amusement.
"You never wanted to do anything different?"
Vic shrugged.
"Guess I never thought much about it. Except…"
She paused.
"Except what?"
Vic smiled partially to herself.
"I was…kind of a…wild child, and I've had a few run-ins with the police myself. Luckily, it was never anything serious and my father managed to keep me out of jail."
"You were rebellious?"
"Yep. My dad calls me the Terror."
That earned her another sideways look from Cady.
"Wow."
Vic smiled again.
"Let me guess…you were a straight A student. Never got in any trouble."
Cady reddened slightly and Vic knew her assessment was spot on.
"I got in some trouble."
"For?"
"Coming in after curfew."
"Like a half hour?"
Cady smiled and turned her eyes towards the window.
"Close enough."
"Did you always want to be a lawyer?"
Cady shook her head, her eyes still diverted.
"No. When I was really little, I wanted to be a teacher. But…as I got older, I knew that wasn't for me. I took a civil law class in high school and loved it. That's what got me thinking about law school. Would you believe my dad wasn't thrilled at first?"
"Why?"
"He doesn't trust lawyers."
Vic laughed.
"Most people don't."
"Hey, lawyers are people, too."
Vic tossed her a look.
"Yeah, but a lot of them aren't exactly representing the profession well."
Cady frowned a bit.
"That's true. That guy who was after dad…he was a snake."
Vic bit her lip and nodded, preferring not to veer into that particular territory if she could help it. It was too dark and there was no real reason to get into that with Cady.
"Yep."
She knew Cady was watching her again. Her gaze was heavy and she could see Cady in her peripheral.
"He has such a tendency to keep things inside. I went to see him after Lucian died. To try and get him to talk to me. He was just so…closed off."
Vic readjusted her grip on the steering wheel.
"He doesn't like to feel as if he's a burden."
"Letting the people who care about you offer support doesn't make you a burden."
Vic cast a quick look Cady's way before turning her eyes back to the road.
"I agree with you. But, that's the way he feels."
A weighted silence settled over them. She half expected Cady to pursue the conversation based on the way it felt unfinished. Vic hoped that wasn't the case. She wasn't overly comfortable getting into any real detail about her relationship with Walt to Cady. Not with where they all currently stood. If she even knew where they stood.
Thankfully, when Cady spoke again, she changed the topic of conversation.
"So…we're going to break up a fight?"
Vic gave her head a slight shake.
"I don't think it's much of a fight. Henry told Ruby some of his patrons were arguing and refusing to leave. It's…still early. Doubtful anyone is really drunk. Probably just guys being idiotic."
Cady smiled as Vic turned into the parking lot of the Red Pony.
"Sound exciting."
Vic parked. Sure enough, there was a small crowd gathered around the door of the bar. Vic slid from the truck, adjusting her cuffs as she went and hoping she wouldn't actually need them. Her preference was not to arrest someone for simple stupidity. If that were the case, half the town would be in jail at least once a week.
Her boots crunched over the gravel as she walked up, removing her sunglasses and hanging them on the front of her shirt. She could feel Cady staying off to her left and slightly behind her. Vic scanned the crowd looking for Henry, but didn't see him.
She quickly identified a man who was holding a bloodied white rag on his nose and approached him.
"What's going on?"
The man turned to her. He was young, which didn't surprise her. He kept his head slightly tilted back and gestured with his free hand.
"That asshole punched me in the nose."
He waved his hand at another young man who was standing with a couple of other guys. The trio had a similar look and Vic guessed that they were all friends. Cut from the same cowboy wannabe cloth.
Vic got his attention and waved him over.
"You…come here."
He started her way with his friends flanking him, but she shook her head.
"Just you."
He gave her a look of indignation.
"They're witnesses."
Vic shook her head again.
"Then go stand over there. I'll get your statements in a few minutes. Right now, I just want to talk to you."
She addressed the crowd in general.
"Everyone else…go home or go back inside."
There was some mumbling, but the small group started to slowly disperse. The man with the bloodied nose lowered the rag from his face and flexed the muscles in his jaw. Vic looked between the two of them and figured neither was over twenty-five.
"What happened?"
They both started to talk, but Vic spoke over them.
"One at a time. You…"
She turned her attention the man whose nose was clearly reddening by the minute.
"…go first."
The other man broke in.
"Why does he get to go first?"
Vic cut her eyes at him.
"Do you want to sit in my truck handcuffed while I take his statement?"
The question earned her a pout.
"No."
"Then shut up and wait your turn."
He looked morose but didn't say anything more.
"So…what's your name?"
"Josh."
"Josh….?"
"Josh Cassidy."
"Okay, Josh, what happened?"
"He hit me."
"He just walked up and punched you in the face?"
Josh shuffled his feet.
"No."
"Then…why did he hit you?"
"I was dancing with some girl and…"
Vic rolled her eyes.
"This is about a girl?"
Both men nodded. Vic glanced at the other one.
"What's your name?"
"Tommy Kendricks."
"Okay. Is this girl someone's girlfriend?"
Both shrugged.
"No? So…what? He was dancing with her and you wanted to?"
They both looked sheepishly at the ground. Vic huffed out a breath of frustration.
"You know I could arrest both of you, right?"
Josh piped up.
"I didn't do anything. He wanted to dance with her and she told him no. He didn't listen so I…pushed him away."
"You shoved him?"
"Pushed."
Vic shook her head.
"This girl still here?"
Josh shook his head.
"No. She got mad and left."
"I don't blame her. See where fighting over a girl got you? Alone and talking to the cops. Isn't it a little early in the day for this? Don't you have a job you could be at?"
Neither spoke.
She turned to Josh.
"Do you want to press charges?"
He kicked at the dirt.
"I don't guess so."
She addressed Tommy.
"Do you?"
The young man mutely shook his head.
Vic offered them both a sarcastic smile.
"Fantastic. Go home."
They both gave her a slightly startled look before parting ways and ambling off. Vic entered the bar and pushed through the saloon style doors with Cady behind her. She found Henry inside with a broom. He gave them a smile as they came in.
Vic scanned the room.
"They make a mess?"
Henry shook his head.
"It was not them as much as their friends."
She nodded.
"I sent them home."
Henry set the broom aside.
"Good."
His dark eyes moved over Cady.
"So, what I heard is true? You are working for the Sheriff."
"Yeah, trying my hand at something different."
He smiled at Cady.
"You are good at whatever you do. I am sure this will be no exception. Can I get you two something to eat? A drink?"
Vic smiled at the offer.
"I'll take an iced tea. Warm outside today."
Cady offered up her own smile.
"Me too."
They took a seat at the bar while Henry grabbed glasses and started on their iced teas. He set the drinks in front of them and waited until both had taken a drink before he spoke to Cady.
"So…you are looking at being a deputy?"
Cady shook her head and put her glass down.
"Not exactly. I'll tell you if you promise to keep it a secret."
Henry gave her a solemn look.
"You know that I will."
Cady leaned in a bit and lowered her voice, not that there were many people in the bar.
"I might run for Sheriff."
Henry was surprised at the news and didn't bother to hide it.
"Sheriff?"
"Yes. Sheriff."
Henry looked between the two of them.
"Walt is leaving office?"
Cady supplied the answer.
"He's retiring."
Again, the surprise on Henry's face was evident.
"That is…interesting news."
His eyes shifted to Vic.
"You are…training her?"
"Something like that."
His eyes moved between them and Vic could see him piecing together all the small bits of news that he was getting. In the end, he merely smiled.
"It seems as though we are all changing."
xxx
"How did Cady do today?"
They sat in Walt's office with a mostly eaten pizza sitting in a box on his desk. The paper plate in Vic's lap was empty save for the crust of the pizza. Her booted feet were propped up on the edge of Walt's desk and she slouched into the chair she was sitting in.
Wiping her hands on a paper napkin, she shrugged.
"Okay."
"Just okay?"
"It was her first day. And…it was kind of boring."
She dropped her feet from his desk and stood up, stretching. Dumping her plate in the trash, she retook her seat, this time leaning forward.
"How did she seem?"
"What do you mean?"
Walt leaned over and dumped his own plate in the trash.
"Do you think she liked it?"
"It was one day, Walt. You do remember that she hasn't decided yet if she's running."
"I know."
"Don't pressure her."
"I haven't."
The response earned him a look.
"You do and you don't realize it."
Vic closed the lid to the pizza box and pushed it aside.
"I don't."
"You do. Look, this has to be…her decision. It's her life."
"I know that."
"Do you?"
"Yes. Why?"
She shook her head. Walt persisted.
"What?"
She sighed.
"You just…you get an idea in your head of the way you want things to be. And…when it's not, you get all agitated and stubborn."
"When have I done that?"
"Too many times for me to detail. Let Cady find her own way. This is new for her and she needs the space to explore it without you, or anyone else, trying to influence her choice."
He stood up and came around his desk.
"I just want her to find her place in life. Be happy."
Vic sat back in her chair.
"There's nothing wrong with that. But, it's got to be her place. Not where you want her to be."
He leaned on his desk.
"Have you talked to your dad lately?"
Her brow furrowed at his sudden change of the subject.
"Where did that come from?"
He shrugged.
"It seemed to be along the same lines. I know he was worried about you."
Vic nodded slowly.
"Yeah. Um…my mother called me. About the miscarriage."
"You told her."
Vic shook her head.
"I told my dad. He told her."
"How was that?"
She looked around the room before returning her eyes to his. He could see she wasn't entirely comfortable with this topic. That was nothing new.
"A reminder as to why I don't tell them things. They overreact."
"Caring is not an overreaction."
Vic looked at the floor.
"All they want is for me to come home. Every conversation I have with either of them leads directly back to how much better my life would be if I would just move back. Like that's going to solve all of my problems."
She stood up again and paced a small path.
"You can't blame them for worrying."
Vic paused in her pacing.
"There's a fine line between worrying and controlling. My parents…do a little more than worry."
He was quiet for a minute.
"Have you told them?"
Her expression was one of confusion.
"Told them what?"
"About us?"
Vic made a face that answered the question for her.
"God no. My dad will flip his shit. He hates you."
Walt grimaced.
"Yeah…he made that clear."
Vic pushed out a breath.
"Okay…maybe hate is a strong word. Either way, he sure as hell won't approve."
Walt considered her.
"Does that bother you?"
"No."
She answered without any hesitation.
"Do you plan to tell them?"
She tilted her head.
"At some point."
He grew quiet. Vic's eyes stayed on him.
"What is it?"
"It won't bother you if they don't approve of this?"
He gestured in between them. Vic approached him, stopping just in front of him.
"Walt, my parents have never approved of any man I've ever been with. It's never affected my decision to be with someone. Why would I start now? And…aren't you the one who told me you wouldn't let Cady's opinion affect yours. Why would I be any different?"
He shrugged a little.
She pressed on.
"Besides, one of the benefits of living across the country is that their disapproval is back east. I am not."
She smiled at him. A warm smile that made him hot all the way through. She started to step back, but his hand found her forearm and he pulled her all the way to him, her body colliding lightly with his. Before she could muster a response, he kissed her. Vic's hands landed on his shoulders and gripped, neither pushing or pulling away. She dipped her face and broke off the kiss.
"Is this a good idea? We're at work."
Walt bumped her forehead lightly with his.
"I know. Let's…go. Come home with me."
Vic nodded and he noticed that her breath was coming as fast as his own.
"Okay. I'll meet you there."
Walt kissed her once more and released his hold on her. Vic stepped back and cleared her throat, her face flushed. It brought an odd sense of pride to him that he was able to bring about such a reaction in her.
It had been a long time.
Too long.
xxx
She felt lighter than she had in days. Weeks maybe. Vic didn't have any idea what the difference was. She only knew that she liked the feeling and she wanted more of it. She wanted to be rid of the heaviness that seemed to be all around her lately. The shooting, the miscarriage, the aftermath. It all left her feeling like she couldn't even enjoy this new relationship she was exploring with Walt.
The first days and weeks of something new should be a time of excitement and discovery. But, she frequently felt more in turmoil than anything else. She wished she could just be done with it. Brush it aside and move on. Unfortunately, the human mind didn't work that way. Neither did the human heart. Nothing was that simple. It never had been. It never would be.
Some moments, she felt almost happy. Others, she was bombarded by memories or thoughts that crashed over her like an avalanche and buried her and all the progress she felt like she was making. It felt akin to riding a wake with the ebb and flow of the tide. There were highs. There were lows. The result was a dizzying off balance that left her feeling like a ghost of herself.
Right now, in this moment, she felt good.
She wanted to hold onto that. Prolong the feeling. Her gut told her to go directly to Walt's. To get into her truck and fall in line behind the red glow of his tail lights as he drove the Bronco out of town and to his cabin. That's what she would've done had her phone not rang at the last possible minute as they were locking up the office for the evening.
"Shit."
Vic pulled her phone from her back pocket as Walt locked the door and they started down the steps. Vic brought the phone to her ear.
"Hello?"
"Is this Vic?"
"Yes."
The voice sounded familiar. For some reason, in her frustration, she didn't place it immediately.
"It's Joe. Joe Mega from the Chrysalis."
Vic cast Walt a look as they took the stairs down to street level.
"Yeah, is…is something wrong?"
Walt held the door and she stepped through it and stopped on the sidewalk. Walt lingered, looking out across the street.
"It appears that someone broke into your RV. I hate to have to call you with this news. I did a quick check and whoever it was…is gone now. But…I thought you might want to know the lock on your door is busted."
Vic sighed.
"Damn. Okay thanks."
"No problem. Sorry about this."
Vic ended the call and shoved her phone into her pocket, a tight feeling in her stomach. Walt was watching her now.
"Something wrong?"
"Yeah. Someone broke into my RV."
"Broke in?"
The words came out gruffly. Vic pressed her lips together and shook her head.
"I need to take care of this. Lock's busted."
Walt pushed up the brim of his hat.
"I'll come with you. I can replace it."
Vic shook her head and shifted on her feet.
"No. That's okay. I'll handle it."
"Vic…"
She didn't give him time to finish.
"Whoever it was is gone. I just need to see if anything important is missing. Not that I really have all that much of value."
He looked down before he lifted his eyes.
"You think this was routine?"
Her eyes snapped to his.
"Why wouldn't it be?"
Walt didn't answer the question. Not with words, anyway. Still, she could see it written all over his face. Vic shook her head with a determination that she didn't feel now that he introduced the idea into her brain.
"It's not them."
"You don't know that."
"Walt, that was…that was weeks ago. You said yourself that they were cleared out."
His expression made her feel uneasy. She tried not to let it leak out in her voice.
"Doesn't mean they're not back."
Vic inhaled a deep breath.
"There's no reason to believe that. There have been some thefts lately at the trailer park. I haven't been home very much. Anyone paying attention would know that. Probably just kids or something."
She didn't sound as convincing as she would like.
"Vic."
He tried again. Her mind was made up.
"You just…go home. I'll be there in a while."
He seemed unsure. Vic took a few steps towards her truck, putting some distance in between them. Walt hesitated before he gave in to her request.
"Okay. Call me if you need me."
She offered him a smile.
"Sure."
He was still standing on the sidewalk in front of the office when she drove off.
The ride to her trailer park wasn't all that long. It was just about dark when she pulled in. Vic slid from her truck and approached her RV. All the way home, that nagging feeling held on in her gut, its grip as tight as iron.
She chose to ignore it.
She found the door tied shut with a bungee cord and an apologetic note from Joe Mega along with an offer to replace the door knob. Vic wadded up the note in her hand and removed the cord from the door. Opening the door, she was up and in the RV in three steps.
It was dark. Her heart started to thump hard in her ribs. Vic rolled her eyes at her own overreaction and flipped on the lights, illuminating the interior of the RV. The move immediately made it feel less threatening. Vic scanned the living area, expecting to find something amiss.
There was nothing out of place as far as she could tell.
Slowly, she made her way through the small space and took a mental inventory of what should be where. Nothing seemed disturbed. For some reason, that bothered her. Vic shook the thoughts out of her head. She had to stop this.
She had investigated hundreds of break-ins over the years. She knew the most likely scenario was whoever it was more than likely got interrupted or rattled by someone approaching. As far as she could tell, no one had actually entered the RV.
"Hey."
Vic jumped at the sudden sound of a voice behind her.
Her hand moved on instinct to her holstered Glock as she whirled around.
Vic blew out a breath when she saw Joe Mega standing just outside her still open door.
"Jesus."
The word came out on an exhale. He held up his hands.
"Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."
He said it in his familiar drawl and Vic smiled.
"That's okay."
"I was walking by and saw your truck. Thought I'd pop in and see if anything was missing."
"No, I don't think anything is missing. Probably got scared off."
He nodded.
"A blessing."
"Yeah."
He gestured behind him.
"Look, I've got a pretty vast array of doorknobs. Surely, I have one that will fit. I can have this taken care of for you in a jiffy."
Vic considered her options. She could either call a locksmith and have them come out. Who knew how long that would take as it was after hours. She could run by the hardware store herself and fix the knob. Of course, the store might already be closed. She could secure the door for the night with the bungee cord and hope that whoever it was didn't come back. Or, she could take his offer.
For once in her life, she opted to take the path of least resistance.
"Sure. Sounds good."
xxx
He should have gone with her.
It was on his mind the entire ride home. He should have gone and checked things out for himself. It was his job. In more ways than one at this point.
That wasn't what she wanted, though.
Walt was reluctant to bring up the possibility that this had anything to do with not so past events. Her killing of Chance had gone unanswered by his so-called family. Could be that without their leader, they simply scattered like rats. Or, it could be that they were biding their time.
He saw the quick flash that crossed her face along with the idea that this might be more than an isolated incident. He didn't want to believe it was. With the way things were going, though, he wasn't willing to bet her safety on it.
He nearly argued with her. Almost persisted in going with her. But, her frustration with him was fresh in his mind. Her insistence that she didn't need for him to save her. Nor did she want him to. He sensed that this was something she both needed and wanted to do on her own. She needed to reestablish who she was and what she was capable of.
So, whether he liked it or not, he agreed with her and went home.
He did not want to.
That was for sure.
His ride home gave him too much time to think about it.
It was just at dark when his cabin came into view. There wasn't much for him to do until Vic got here. He supposed he could clean up a bit around the cabin. Go through his mail. He tended to neglect the more mundane aspects of his life.
Those thoughts fled when he saw a car sitting outside his cabin. He didn't recognize the car, a modest looking gray sedan that nearly blended in with the darkness that surrounded it except for the reflection of his porch light.
Walt parked and got out, closing the door.
His eyes scanned the car and his cabin, a host of thoughts swirling in his head.
He spotted her sitting on his porch steps, her feet on the step below her. Walt paused in his walking and she stood up. Now that he was closer, he could see her better and the look on her face. She hadn't changed since he saw her last sitting in his cabin on his couch. She was dressed in slacks and a dark colored top, flat dress shoes.
Donna Monaghan offered him an apprehensive smile as he started moving again and approached the bottom step of his porch. She seemed out of place against the rustic, unfinished backdrop of his cabin. She never quite seemed to fit him. He hadn't allowed that thought to permeate his mind until near the end. That was when he realized that they were going nowhere, never making any progress.
She was never comfortable here. That should have told him what he needed to know. Now, it was impossible not to compare her to Vic. What he didn't want to admit was that he had been doing that all along. Where Donna came off as refined, Vic was always rough around the edges. Where Donna's home was decorated in a neat, more sophisticated style, Vic's RV was frequently in no better condition than his own home. Where Donna, her wine, and her nice furnishings made him feel too big and almost oafish, Vic always made him feel comfortable in his own skin.
It was funny really. Were you to compare the two women superficially on paper, it would be Donna who made more sense for him based on criteria that didn't really matter at the end of the day. But, when applied to reality, it was Vic who was able to slip into his existence so seamlessly, the shift didn't feel as massive as it did a relief.
The world placed her here and was simply waiting for the two of them to catch up.
"Hello, Walt."
Walt took one step at a time.
"What're you doing here?"
It wasn't a polite greeting. But, they hadn't ever really done polite. Her smile shifted.
"It's good to see you. How have you been?"
She was ignoring his question.
"Can't complain. Is there something I can do for you?"
He didn't mean to sound gruff. But, this was something he had put to bed some time ago. He hadn't given her much thought since she left his cabin the night they agreed that the relationship between them wasn't going anywhere.
It was only when Vic brought it up that he really gave her any thought.
The ease with which he moved on was telling.
"That directness. I've missed it."
He didn't reply.
"Do you have a few minutes?"
To try and resist this would only prolong it. He knew that she would be heard one way or another.
"Um…sure."
He stayed where he was and she looked around, amused.
"Do you mind if we go in?"
He wasn't sure why she wanted to go in. The weather was perfectly pleasant.
"Place is kind of a mess."
He gestured at one of the chairs that seat nearby.
"Take a seat."
For a fleeting moment, he thought she might argue. Ask to go in again. She didn't. Thankfully. Donna took a seat and waited for Walt to sit also. Her eyes took in the landscape that surrounded them.
"I don't know if I ever told you how beautiful it is here."
"You told me how quiet it is."
She smiled a bit at the comment.
"It is quiet. Too quiet."
Walt let his own eyes roam the familiar view.
"The world is too loud. We could all do with a little quiet."
She regarded him.
"That's accurate, I suppose."
Walt shifted in his seat.
"What brings you by? This isn't exactly on your way anywhere?"
Her eyes stayed on the dark mountains in the distance.
"No, it's not. I saw in the paper that the civil case against you was dropped."
"Yep."
"Must be a relief."
"Yeah."
She inhaled, not making whatever inroads she wanted with him.
"I've missed you, Walt. I didn't realize how much until a couple of weeks ago. The way that we left things just doesn't feel right."
"Donna…"
She pushed on.
"I know that we were sort of…treading water. But, so much happened right after we met and started pursuing this thing between us. I feel like if we met under better circumstances, things would have turned out differently."
"We didn't meet under better circumstances."
"I know."
She looked his way.
"But…I feel like this separation could provide us with the opportunity to…start over. Try again."
Walt gave her a long look and didn't have a clue what his expression must have looked like.
"Donna…"
He wasn't good at this sort of thing. At all.
He was interrupted by the chirping of her phone. She sighed and pulled it free. Checking her screen, she stood abruptly.
"This is a patient. I…have to go and see to this. Just think about what I said. We'll…talk later."
With a flurry of activity, she hurried off, got behind the wheel of her car, and left him still sitting.
xxx
"Is something wrong?"
Walt looked her way, his mind seemingly elsewhere.
"No."
There was no expansion of his answer. Just the single word. Vic studied him.
"Really? You seem…distracted. You're not mad because I went to the trailer park on my own, are you?"
"No."
She sighed at his answer.
Ever since she walked in the door, he acted like there was something on his mind. Something that he wasn't saying. She knew he was reluctant when he agreed to come home and not go with her. She just didn't want to continuously feel like she needed his help.
On some level, it made her uncomfortable to rely on him so heavily.
"Do you want me to go?"
She wasn't sure what possessed her to ask him that. Except it was Walt who asked her to come. At work, things felt good between them. Then her phone interrupted. Now, he felt distant and she genuinely wondered if he would rather be alone with his thoughts.
"What? No."
He looked at her then, their eyes connecting.
"Are you sure? You just seem so…"
She saw his chest expand as he inhaled. On the exhale, he spoke, breaking in on her partial question.
"Donna was here when I got home."
The words hung in the air between them like a fog that refused to dissipate. Vic fell quiet and stared at him. She heard him. He said what she thought he said. It just seemed so…out of the blue.
"Donna."
"Yeah."
Again. The word hung there. It took Vic longer than normal to find her voice.
"Um…why?"
Walt sat up on the couch and leaned forward. Vic watched the motion. He rubbed the rough palms of his hands together.
"She uh…"
Vic shook her head.
"Let me guess. You?"
"Something like that."
Vic gave him a long look.
"You thought about not telling me."
He didn't look up and that confirmed her suspicions.
"Why?"
He finally looked up.
"Why what?"
Vic huffed out a breath of frustration.
"I assume you told her you were with someone."
She was met with more silence. She was getting tired of it.
"You didn't?"
The volume of her voice increased incrementally. Walt ran a hand along his jaw.
"I didn't get the chance. She got a call from a patient and left in a hurry."
"That's convenient."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Vic looked away.
"Nothing."
"It's not nothing, Vic."
She turned back to him.
"You're right. It's not nothing. It's your inability to just…say something."
"I didn't want to upset you."
She flexed her jaw and her eyes dropped from his.
"So…you just sit there mired in your silence, all the time me thinking you're mad at me. You have got to learn to communicate."
Walt ran one hand over his jeans.
"It's not my fault that you always think the worst."
Regret flooding him the moment the words left his mouth, his mouth clamped shut. Vic looked at her feet.
"Yeah."
She slowly stood up. Walt's eyes lifted with the movement.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm gonna go."
He was on his feet.
"Why? Because Donna was here?"
She shook her head and turned on him.
"No, Walt. Because you've been in some weird funk since I walked in the door. I try to get you to open up to me and you get all pissed. What part of that should I hang around for? Maybe you should give that some actual thought while you're brooding."
"I don't have any feelings for her."
Vic shrugged.
"Never said you did."
"She was here when I drove up. There's nothing I can do about that. She left before I was able to tell her."
"What exactly would you have told her?"
"That I was…that I…"
He stumbled over the words and her eyes stayed on him, not making the situation any easier.
"That you're…"
The half-finished question sat there and he seemed at a loss for words. It only pressed harder on her already fractured nerves. Walt held up his hands in an almost helpless manner.
"I don't know, Vic. I don't know where we are, or what we are. We haven't talked about that because I don't want to pressure you."
"So…it's my fault?"
He sighed.
"I didn't say that."
"You haven't said much of anything tonight. You asked me to come here. Now that I'm here…you're acting like you would rather be alone. It's…confusing, Walt. Things are good until your ex-girlfriend shows up and you get all…sullen."
She motioned at him when she said it.
"What kind of signal do you think that sends?"
"I didn't know I was sending signals?"
"You are. And…they're mixed up as hell. I think I should just go."
He caught her arm.
"Don't. Don't leave mad."
She stood there, waffling. Her gut reaction was to just leave. To abandon this whole situation for another day. The more rational part of her mind was telling her to stay. To see this through. Walking out was what she always did with Sean. The problems were never resolved.
Look how that ended.
Vic took a breath in an attempt to steady her nerves.
"Did you love her?"
"No. I already told you that."
"Is it the truth?"
"Have I lied to you?"
She considered him.
"You must have felt something."
Walt released a breath.
"The last time that she was here, she pushed the issue that we were stationary. That's not how a relationship should be. I told her that I thought she and I met at the wrong time."
"The wrong time?"
Walt nodded slowly.
"Yeah. I won't lie to you about this. I was attracted to her. I wanted to be with her. Or, I thought I did. I didn't realize until later that it was the idea of her."
"The idea?"
She echoed him.
"Yes. The idea of being with someone that fit."
Her head tilted.
"Fit? I don't…I don't understand. Is this…like before. You thought what? That she was the right kind of woman?"
"Yeah."
Vic bit her lip and swallowed the heat that was in the back of her throat.
"So…why was it the wrong time? Because of what you were going through?"
Walt shook his head.
"No. It was…because of you. Only…I wasn't willing to admit that at the time."
"I need for you to tell me something."
They still stood face to face.
"What?"
"Why were you so worried about what everyone else thinks about you being with me. But, now you're okay with it. What changed?"
"Me. I realized that I was being…"
His voice trailed off.
"Stupid?"
Vic offered up the word and he smiled the smallest smile.
"Something like that."
She nodded slowly, her expression easing up some.
"Walt, there's…"
She stopped. Walt leaned in a bit.
"What?"
"You…you hurt me. A lot. When you were with Donna. I know…maybe you didn't intend to. But, you did."
Walt shifted on his feet and looked down. She half expected him to reassure her that he didn't mean to. That it was all some misunderstanding. She didn't expect him to say what he said next.
"That's just it, Vic. I did. I did want to hurt you."