Ch. 10: One step closer to the edge
"Vic?"
"Hmm?"
Walt's voice just permeated the pleasant fog her mind was in.
"Can I ask you something?"
She resisted the urge to sigh. She didn't want to have a deep or serious conversation. Not right now. Not while her mind and body were still enjoying the sense of satisfaction that came after good sex. In Vic's mind, there were few things that could compete with that specific brand of euphoria.
On the other hand, wasn't she the one who was pushing him so hard in the communication department? Just because his timing wasn't the greatest didn't mean she could simply tell him no and continue to lay there.
Rolling over onto her back so that she could see him, Vic looked up into his face. Walt was on his side with his head propped up, watching her. His expression was a serious one and she settled her head back onto the pillow.
"What?"
She sounded drowsy to herself.
For a moment, he didn't respond. She wondered why he even asked if he only planned to stare at her and look at a loss for words. Patience. She reminded herself. She seemed to do that a lot these days. Both with Walt and her own mind.
There was obviously something he wanted to say. Ask. There was also a sense of hesitance about him. When he didn't respond to her question, she pushed him.
"What is it?"
Walt continued to look at her, his blue eyes earnest in the dim light of the bedroom.
"How…how are you feeling?"
The words came out faltering. Vic could feel the confusion he must see.
"How do I feel? About…?"
Vic moved her head on the pillow.
"Now?"
Vic narrowed her eyes in an attempt to decipher what felt like an odd question.
"I…feel…good. Why do you ask?"
The shoulder he wasn't laying on moved in a shrug.
"I just…um…"
He was clearly uncomfortable with whatever he wanted to ask her. It didn't make any sense considering where they were and what they had just done.
"…I…"
He tried again, still not finding his footing. Vic sighed.
"You're really killing the moment here."
"I'm sorry. I just…"
She saw the motion of this throat as he swallowed.
"…I want this to be…good for you."
He pushed out the words. They did nothing to alleviate her confusion
"This? Us?"
"Not just us. But…"
He motioned his hand in between them.
"Us…like this."
She studied him for a long moment. To his credit, he didn't waver under her gaze. It finally dawned on her and several pieces to the puzzle clicked into place.
"Are you talking about sex?"
She almost felt amused when she posed the question. Walt, however, was dead serious.
"Yeah."
He almost sounded relieved. Vic let her head roll slightly to the side.
"Was it good for you?"
Red crept up his face.
"Yes. Better…than good."
"Okay then."
Walt shook his head.
"What about you?"
She finally gave in to the urge to smile.
"Was it not obvious?"
He blushed again and that only widened her smile. After a moment, she sat up, her hair falling around her shoulders.
"Have I made you think otherwise?"
"No, it's just…"
He paused.
"…I don't have the most experience."
"You have plenty of experience. You were married for…"
"That wasn't like this. And…that was with the same woman."
He seemed to be on more even ground now. Vic drew her knees up.
"Just because most of your experience was with one person doesn't make it less."
"It makes it less…varied. I just worry that your expectations are…higher than I can…satisfy."
She was quiet for a time before she responded.
"Didn't we already talk about expectations?"
"Yeah, but that was about…this relationship, not…"
Vic broke in.
"You can't separate the two. I'm not sure what kind of expectations you think I have, Walt."
He sighed.
"I just don't want to disappoint you."
"You haven't. Walt, being with more than one person doesn't magically make you any better at it. If anything, being with one person has advantages. You're…more connected, more in tune with what you know, what you both like. Not to mention more comfortable with…exploring."
Her voice trailed off. Stretching her legs out, she lay back down, rearranging the sheet up over her. She halfway smiled at him.
"You could've just asked me, you know. You don't have to be embarrassed."
He slowly lowered his head onto his pillow, shifting around to get more comfortable.
"It's not exactly the kind of thing that's easy to talk about."
"Yeah well…maybe you should consider keeping a more open dialogue as opposed to constantly working yourself up."
"I wasn't worked up."
Her smile grew.
"You're right. You were certainly worked up earlier, though."
His face went warm and she noted how fast he responded. There was some satisfaction to be found in that. She felt warm, too. For reasons that had nothing to do with sex. It was more the fact that he was able to broach this topic with her when he clearly struggled with conversations of an intimate nature.
"You know…I was all relaxed before you started this. You ruined it for me."
"Sorry."
His eyes were fixed on hers. She could see the dilation in his eyes. Her fingers moved on his skin, the tips brushing over the roughness of his stubble.
"You can make it up to me."
"How?"
His voice was as rough as the skin along his jawline. Heavy with something that was palpable.
She moved onto her side and pressed her mouth to the skin just under his ear.
"By helping me get back there."
"Oh?"
She kissed him again, this time letting her tongue just touch his ear lobe. Walt made a noise as he sucked in a breath. He moved against her, his face sliding along hers as he sought her mouth with his own. When he pressed his lips to hers, she could feel the tension that was building up in his muscles.
Walt moved up and over her, his hands bracing his weight just above her. Vic let her legs separate to accommodate his bulk as he pushed up against her, deepening the kiss and strengthening the physical contact between them.
He lifted his head only a fraction, finding her eyes in an unsettlingly close gaze. She took a moment to appreciate what an attractive man he was. Not in any traditional way. Walt was rough and he would never fit into the image of what so much of society considered handsome. He was weathered and his body was full of experience in so many ways. Still, there was something in the way he carried himself, the way he lived his life that she found undeniably sexy.
She knew she wasn't the only one.
Walt was real in a way that women noticed.
Right now, he was hers.
xxx
"Vic!"
She startled in her seat at the sudden voice behind her. Vic looked up to find Ferg coming across the office with a cup of coffee in his hand.
"What?"
She was deep in her work when he called her name and her mind felt muddled.
"Have you talked to Walt?"
"About?"
Ferg set down his cup and took a seat at his desk. He gave her a hedged look. Vic leaned forward.
"Have I talked to Walt about what?"
He hesitated and it hit her.
Ferg knew that Walt was retiring.
The younger man must have seen something in her face that clued him in.
"About retiring."
"Yeah."
Ferg ran his hand along the handle of his mug.
"You were probably the first to know."
She shrugged.
"I don't know."
Vic started to look back down, but Ferg clearly wasn't done.
"So…"
She raised her eyes again.
"What?"
Ferg looked around before turning his attention back to her.
"Are you running?"
"Am I running?"
"For Sheriff."
She frowned.
"God no."
He seemed confused by that.
"Why?"
"Because…I don't want to."
Ferg was still baffled by that revelation.
"Why?"
Vic dropped her pen on the desk and leaned back in her chair.
"You see what he goes through. The kind of bullshit that comes with his job. Why would I sign up for that?"
"You're the obvious choice."
It was true. She knew this wasn't the last time she would hear this. Cady already broached the topic as had Walt before everything was decided. In another lifetime, she might have been interested. Two years ago, she might have been interested. Now, in this reality, she simply didn't have it in her. Sometimes, it was hard enough to get up and come to this job. She couldn't imagine the added stress. Not right now.
When she didn't reply, he continued his train of thought.
"So…if not you…"
He was thinking and she half expected him to make the leap. No one had much questioned Cady coming on and working here. But, now with the retirement out in the open, the writing seemed to be on the wall.
"Cady?"
Vic looked out the window.
"Maybe. I guess we'll have to wait and see."
He didn't like that answer. She could read it on his face. She was saved from further inquiries when the door opened and Cady came in. Ferg looked her way and his eyes lingered. Cady gave him a questioning look.
"What?"
Vic thought he was going to outright ask her. When he didn't, she looked to Vic, who shrugged. Cady was halfway to Vic's desk when the door opened again and Zach came in. Cady turned just slightly to see who it was and then looked away once she and Zach glimpsed each other. Vic noted the quick detachment of eye contact as Zach hurried to his own desk.
She looked between the two of them again.
That was weird.
Vic dropped her gaze back to her work, but her mind was on a different path now. She suspected Cady was seeing someone. She didn't know that for sure. But, there were mentions of dinner plans in passing. It never seemed like something she really wanted to talk about. Up until this point, Vic hadn't given it very much thought. She had her own issues. The split-second interaction seemed strange, though. It made her think.
She didn't know very much about Zach. He was quiet. On the occasion that he did talk, it wasn't usually about himself. She could see it, the two of them. It wasn't like Cady hadn't drank from that well before.
Vic tapped her fingers idly on her desk, her brain still rolling through the possibilities.
"Something wrong?"
Vic did even realize she was looking at Cady. She snapped back into the moment and shook her head.
"No."
Cady eyed her.
"You sure?"
"Yes."
Vic stood up abruptly and stretched out the muscles in her back. Sitting down for too long always took a toll.
"Oh…Vic."
Ferg again. She paused and glanced his way.
"Yeah?"
"Can you cover the phones for me tomorrow night?"
Vic studied him.
"Why?"
He shifted on his feet.
"Meg and I are going out. Or…we want to go out."
His elaborate plan obviously went well. Vic sighed.
"Why did you make plans on a night that you knew you were taking the calls?"
"It's her only night off this week. Please."
The last part was adequately pleading. Vic inhaled deeply.
"Fine. But…you owe me."
He grinned at her.
"Thank you."
Vic nodded slightly.
"So…you're back together."
"We're getting there. I'm not all the way out of the doghouse. But, I'm trying."
Vic halfway smiled.
"Try not to screw up again."
Leaving it at that, she looked at the time on her phone and left the office for lunch.
xxx
It was done.
The news about his retirement would move around Durant quickly. He was sure about that. He sent his letter starting his intent to retire to Sawyer Crane. There was no taking it back. Not that he wanted to. He also sat down with each member of his staff and told them the news. Ruby didn't seem all that surprised. She was good at reading him, though. They had been together for a long time and she almost always knew when there was something on his mind
Ferg had seem somewhat taken off guard. Although, with Cady's new presence, Walt didn't think anyone should be all that surprised by the turn of events. Or the likely forthcoming announcement that Cady would be running for Sheriff. Ferg was young and Walt suspected he might be interested in the job someday. This wasn't that time. Ferg still needed more experience under his belt.
Zach took the news in stride as he did most things. Of all his staff, Zach was the one who was the most like himself. Quiet and thoughtful, with a potentially volatile temper. If he could keep that part of himself under control, he possessed the qualities that would make a competent deputy for years to come. Zach merely nodded and thanked him for the second chance.
Now, with all of the talking over, he felt as though a weight were lifted off him. He didn't like keeping things from people. Especially not those who were the closest to him. He much preferred to have this out in the open. Now the real work could begin. It would take some time for an election to be set up and for him to transition his current workload to his predecessor. He was well aware that it would be a hasty time for them all. Cady would be learning as she went. For a while, Vic would carry more than her share of the load. As the one with the most extensive on the job experience, much of the work would fall on her during this time.
On the flip side, his own load would steadily decrease as he shifted more of his responsibilities away from himself and onto the rest of them. He wasn't sure how exactly he would feel about that. Feeling useless wasn't something he was good at. He liked knowing that he could make a difference and control his own circumstances. That was one of the hardest aspects of his civil trial. How little control he actually had.
Walt pushed through the thoughts as he walked into the Red Pony to have some lunch. He had asked Vic to meet him there. There wasn't any good reason other than it was lunchtime and he hadn't seen her much that morning. He was busy in his office speaking to everyone. He went under the pretense that Vic already knew. There was enough news coming out then. It definitely didn't feel like the right time to out them.
She was already seated at the bar when he came in with an iced tea in front of her. Condensation was slipping down the glass in beads and Vic was tracing her finger through the moisture. Walt lay his hat on the bar off to his side and slid onto the stood beside her.
"Hey."
She turned her head and looked his way, a smile flitting across her face.
"Hey. How did it go?"
"Bout like I expected."
Vic lifted her glass and sipped her tea.
"Ferg already asked me if I'm running."
Walt grimaced slightly.
"Get used to it."
Henry came over with a friendly smile.
"Walt, how are you?"
Walt nodded.
"Good. Retiring."
"So I have heard. Is it official?"
"Yep. Could I get an iced tea?"
Henry nodded.
"Lunch?"
"Yep. I'll have a burger with fries."
Henry's dark eyes shifted to Vic.
"Same."
He placed Walt's drink in front of him before he walked away to take care of their food order. Walt sipped the ice cold tea and felt some level of relief wash over him.
"How are you feeling?"
Walt tossed her a quick look.
"About retiring?"
She nodded and started running her fingertips over her glass again.
"Yeah."
"Better now that everyone else knows. Feels good to have things moving."
She nodded, her eyes on her glass. Walt studied her.
"Is something wrong?"
Vic shook her head.
"No…just not feeling great today."
He felt a twinge of concern.
"You sick?"
Vic shrugged.
"I don't think so."
She didn't seem overly eager to talk about it, so he let it drop despite the fact that he was worried about her now. He reminded himself that Vic didn't like for people to be overbearing. She took a breath and leaned her elbows on the bar.
"Cady will be out of town for her classes the first half of next week."
"She told me. Maybe you'll be able to get off on time for a change."
She smiled vaguely.
"Maybe."
Henry reappeared and set their food in front of them before moving off to help other customers. Vic flipped the top off her hamburger and started to rearrange the toppings. Walt lifted his and took a bite. Finally satisfied, Vic pressed the top bun back on and started to eat. Two bites in and her appetite seemed to have stalled out.
"Everything okay at the trailer park."
"In what way?"
She was chewing on a part of a fry.
"Any more break-ins?"
Vic's shoulders rose and fell.
"Don't know. They don't report all their crimes to me."
Walt sighed and she gave him a quick look.
"Don't start."
"I haven't."
Vic continued to pick at her fries. Walt was halfway through his own lunch when he heard a voice he didn't really want to hear.
"Hey, Vic."
His head turned at the same times that Vic's did.
Travis.
Walt noticed the change in her almost instantaneously.
"Hey."
There was nothing all that friendly in her tone and her shoulders stiffened. Travis took a seat on the opposite side of her and leaned heavily on the counter.
"Haven't seen you around in a while."
Travis looked by her and nodded to Walt.
"Walt."
"Travis."
Vic tossed down the fry in her hands and took a drink from her glass.
"Burgers good today?"
The question seemed aimed at Vic. It was Walt who felt compelled to answer.
"Yep."
Henry came over, his eyes moving over the three of them in a way that didn't escape Walt. Walt kept his eyes on his own lunch, trying not to react too much to Travis' proximity to Vic. Travis ordered a beer, which Henry provided. Travis took a long drink from the bottle and offered Vic a smile.
"Haven't seen you around in a while."
She gave him a look.
"Working."
"Yeah, that's what you always say."
Vic let out an audible sigh and pushed her plate away. She gestured at herself and at Walt.
"I'm working right now, Travis."
There was an edge to her voice. Walt wondered if Travis heard it the same way that he did. Travis took another drink from his bottle and turned his gaze to Walt.
"You should give her a break. She's been through a lot."
Walt resisted the impulse to tell Travis that he knew exactly what she had been through. There was no reason to get into that here. Instead, he stood up slowly and ran his eyes around the lunch crowd at the bar.
"You done?"
The question was directed at Vic. She stood up quickly.
"Yeah."
Walt pulled out his wallet and tossed enough money on the bar to cover the meal and tip and grabbed his hat off the bar, pressing it onto his head. Vic fell in just behind him. She gave Travis a look as they moved away.
"Gotta go."
The younger man looked like he might say something. He drained his bottle and stood up as though he might follow them. Vic pushed by Walt, putting some distance in between herself and Travis. Walt continued on and felt her posture stiffen when Travis did, indeed, follow them.
He caught up to her in the parking lot.
"Hey, Vic…"
She turned and looked his way, not replying.
"Do you wanna have a drink later?"
He scuffled his boot over the gravel parking lot and reminded Walt of a child. Vic looked from Travis to Walt and back. She started walking again with both Travis and Walt following.
"No."
She pulled out her keys as they approached her truck. Travis was persistent.
"C'mon, Vic, you can't work all the time. You gotta relax sometime."
When she looked his way again, her jaw was set in a strong line.
"Do you have a hearing problem?"
Vic said it with force. Travis frowned.
"I hear you."
"Then take a hint."
Pulling her driver's side door open, Travis tried again.
"Vic…"
Walt caught him by the arm and Travis turned.
"Back off."
That was all Walt said. Travis let out an unhappy huff and kicked at more gravel.
"Whatever."
He shoved his hands into his pockets and shuffled his feet as Vic slid behind the wheel. She pulled the door closed and pulled out. Walt, not wanting to deal with Travis anymore, fished his own keys out and aimed for the Bronco.
"It's you. Isn't it?"
Walt turned.
"Pardon?"
"She's never exactly made it a secret that she has feelings for you. Are you…involved with her?"
Walt kept his eyes on Travis.
"Just…leave her alone."
That was all he said.
When he drove out of the parking lot, Travis was still standing with his hands in his pockets.
xxx
"Do you mind if I go early?"
Walt looked up to see her standing in his office doorway.
"Still feeling bad?"
Vic leaned on the doorframe and shrugged.
"Just…a little tired."
Walt tilted his head.
"Maybe you should see a doctor."
She gave him a look that probably told him exactly what she thought of that idea.
"I'm just tired, Walt. I've been working my ass off."
"I know."
She pushed off the door.
"So…?"
"Go."
She dipped her chin.
"Thanks."
She started to turn when she heard him.
"Vic."
His voice was soft that time, having lost the work tone that it normally carried in the office. He lifted his hand and motioned for her. Vic took a few steps into his office. Walt stood up, his hands pressed on the desk in front of him.
"Do you want to go to the cabin?"
Vic considered him.
"I can go home."
"I know. But…the cabin is…quieter."
She narrowed her eyes slightly.
"Translation…Travis isn't there."
Walt stood all the way up.
"That's also true."
Her eyes stayed on him while she mentally debated the offer. His point was a good one. There wouldn't be anyone at the cabin. At her RV, there was the chance that she would run into Travis again since he seemed to be popping up there. Walt hadn't said anything about him since they left the Red Pony earlier. Not that she wanted to talk about him. Despite Walt's earlier advice, she still hadn't worked herself up to have a real conversation with him about everything that happened over the past months.
She wanted to.
She would.
She just wasn't ready for it.
"Okay."
"Do you need anything? Later?"
Vic shook her head.
"No. I just…want to lay down."
He nodded.
"Okay. I'll uh…call and check on you before I leave."
Vic gave him an indulgent smile.
"I'm fine, Walt."
Leaving him in his office, she packed up her laptop bag, shouldered it, and left.
The ride out to the cabin was quiet. Thankfully. Her head was hurting. Had been all afternoon. She didn't mention that to Walt. He was already bordering on hover mode. There was no need to stoke that flame any.
At the cabin, she changed and dug through Walt's so called medicine cabinet. It primary held shaving supplies. She did manage to come up with a bottle of pain reliever that was expired. Vic shrugged off the date and popped a couple into her mouth, washing them down with water.
She wandered around for a few minutes, taking in the dimly lit living room. Lucian's papers were shoved onto the desk out of the way. Vic paused by them and traced her hand over the top sheet of paper. He hadn't said much more about his treasure hunting idea since the first night he mentioned it. If she asked about it, he answered. But, there was no elaboration. No real sharing of his plans.
Vic sighed and decided to lay on the couch.
Stretching out, she let her feet hang off the far end and set her cell phone on the coffee table. Letting her eyes come to rest on the ceiling, she took a deep breath and tried to will the stress from her. She didn't need to see a doctor. She wasn't sick. Not really.
She hoped that Walt wouldn't push that angle. For someone who avoided doctors like they were his sworn enemy, he was awfully quick to want her to go. Vic shifted around trying to get comfortable. The couch held a vague smell that reminded her of Walt. There was something comforting in that. She turned her head and let her face press into the couch cushion, her eyes closing.
He would call her. She knew that he would despite her insistence that she was fine. He was like that these days. Since she was shot. That wasn't a complaint. She appreciated all the support that he offered, even when he wasn't exactly sure what to say or do. Just his presence gave her some sense that she might get through everything that happened.
And, here she was. Not healed all the way. She suspected she might never be. But, she was still alive and she was still functioning like a normal human in spite of it all. It had happened here, in this cabin. As annoyed as she was when she realized he moved her RV, she later realized it was the right thing to do. Left on her own, there was a good chance she would have self destructed.
Vic didn't really realize how tired she was until she got comfortably in the position she wanted to be in. Her eyes slowly drifted closed and she went to sleep without even a fleeting thought.
"Vic."
Vic jumped, startling at the sound of his voice. For a minute, she wasn't even sure what was going on. Then, she remembered. Walt was sitting on the coffee table facing her. His hand was on her shoulder. He gave her an apologetic look.
"Sorry."
Vic cleared her throat and pushed up to a sitting position.
"That's okay. What time is it?"
"After six. How long have you been asleep?"
"I…don't know."
His hand traced a slow path down her arm.
"Feel any better?"
"Yeah…some."
"Feel like eating?"
She considered the question.
"I could eat."
He stood up slowly.
"C'mon."
Vic swung her legs over the arm of the couch and leaned forward to get her bearings. Walt hesitated a few feet away and waited. Vic rose and pushed her loose hair out of her face. There was a small pot on the stove in the kitchen that held steaming soup.
"What would you have done if I said I wasn't hungry?"
Walt shrugged.
"Ate by myself."
Vic took a glass from the cabinet and filled it with water. Sipping it, she sat down at the table while he ladled the soup into two bowls. Vic looked around.
"How long have you been here?"
Walt set a bowl in front of her.
"Bout forty-five minutes."
She shook her head.
"Damn."
Walt took his seat opposite her.
"You must have needed the sleep."
"Must have."
She carefully spooned some of the hot soup into her mouth.
"Do you need tomorrow off?"
"No."
"You sure."
"Yeah. I told Ferg I would cover the phone for him tomorrow night. He's got a date."
Walt swirled his spoon through his soup.
"His plan must have worked."
"Yeah."
He grew quiet and continued to stir. Vic paused in her own eating.
"Is something wrong?"
Walt kept his eyes on the soup.
"No."
She started to ask him again, but chose to let it go. Her head still didn't feel great. Vic stood up and put her bowl in the sink.
"Want me to help you clean up?"
Walt stood and shook his head.
"No. Why don't you go lay down?"
"I've been laying down."
He smiled slightly.
"Go lay in the bed."
"Mmm."
Walt crossed the floor to where she stood and extended his hand, his fingers brushing through her loose hair.
"Go to bed. You still look tired."
Vic nodded and smiled.
"If you insist."
"I do insist."
xxx
He was worried about her. He wasn't very good at hiding it either. When he came home from work, he found her asleep on the couch. He took care not to wake her up just then. He rifled through his mail before tossing it all aside. She stirred a little and he figured she might wake up soon. So, he made them dinner. Something simple in case she really was sick.
She ate more than he did. That made him feel a little better. Still, she was pale and there were dark circles under her eyes. It bothered him to see her that way. It made the concern he already felt that much worse.
Walt washed the dishes and turned off the lights. It wasn't all that late, but he found Vic stretched out on his bed, her eyes closed. As soon as he crossed the threshold, her eyes opened and landed on him.
"Thought you might be asleep."
"Nope. Not as tired now."
Walt started to undress while she watched him.
"That's good."
Walt tossed his shirt on the floor and pushed off his jeans.
"You haven't talked to Travis."
Vic made a face.
"Where did that come from?"
He slipped under the sheet.
"You said you were going to."
"I haven't seen him. Do you want me to go looking for him?"
"I want you to do whatever is necessary to get beyond this."
"You pushing me isn't going to make that happen any faster."
He sighed.
"I'm not…trying to push you."
"You are."
Vic rolled over onto her side to face him.
"I will do it in my own time, Walt."
"Okay."
She nearly rolled her eyes.
"Don't…okay me."
"Okay."
She huffed out a breath.
"Anyone ever tell you that you're a stressful person to deal with?"
"A few times."
"They weren't lying."
"I'm not trying to stress you out."
Vic considered him.
"He was never a threat to you. You know that."
"Travis Murphy doesn't threaten me. I think it's the other way around."
Her eyes narrowed at the statement.
"What makes you say that?"
He hesitated. He probably shouldn't have brought this up. But, he did and now here they were.
"He asked me earlier if there was something going on between us."
"Shit."
The word came out on a breath.
"What did you say?"
"Nothing."
Vic bit her bottom lip and her eyes shifted to the ceiling.
"That's just great. That's exactly what I need."
Walt reached out and put his hand on her stomach.
"Don't get upset."
Vic met his eyes.
"I'm not upset with you. I just don't understand why he can't leave me the hell alone."
"You've had some trouble getting through this. Told me more than once that you feel…stuck. Maybe he's going through something similar."
"He doesn't even know if the baby was his. Neither do I."
Walt shrugged one shoulder.
"That doesn't mean he wasn't invested. I can't speak for Travis, but…maybe he believes it was his and that's enough for him."
She grew quiet, pensive.
"I used him. And Eamonn."
"Everyone is guilty of that at some point."
She looked down at where her hand rested on the bed.
"You don't have to try and absolve me of everything. I screwed up. Sometimes…that's just the way it is."
Walt readjusted himself, trying to get more comfortable.
"Did you ever mislead Travis?"
"Mislead?"
"Yeah."
"No. I told him from the get go that…it was just the once. Afterwards, I didn't really see him until he moved into the trailer park."
"Then, his feelings are just that. His. You don't have that kind of control, Vic. It's not fair for you to take all the blame on yourself. Travis bears some responsibility in that. So does Eamonn. You were all adults. You all made choices."
"Bad choices."
He smiled slightly.
"You know…you don't have the market cornered on bad choices."
Having her own words tossed back at her brought a seemingly unwilling smile to her face. It faded faster than he would have liked.
"I know that I need to talk to him. It's just…Travis hears what he wants and I'm not sure it'll do any good."
"You can only do so much. The rest is up to him. If he's not willing to accept what you tell him, that's on him. Might do you some good to clear the air, though."
She released a breath.
"I know."
Feeling the moment pass him by, Walt reached out and pushed some hair away from her face with his index finger.
"Now…I don't want to talk about Travis anymore. Are you feeling better?"
She shrugged.
"Some."
"Are you sure you don't want to go to the doctor?"
"No, I'm just overtired. I'm not actually sick."
"You've been working too much."
"The way I see it, there's not much choice. You want me to work with Cady. If I'm not here, that leaves you and Ferg. He's already doing the same with Zach. I hate to be the bearer of shitty news, but that's gonna get worse before it gets better. The more you back away, the more work for the rest of us. Not to mention, if Cady is elected, she's still gonna need help. This won't resolve for a while."
It was true. This was what he asked of her when he broached this entire idea. Even though, their timeline was still unclear, there would be a point at which Cady needed to be ready to announce her candidacy. So far, that still seemed to be the ultimate goal. With his retirement papers now in the mayor's hands, the news would spread though Durant quickly. That was how it went in small towns.
"That doesn't mean you have to work yourself to death."
She gave him a look.
"You're a fine one to talk
"A smile tugged at him."
"Okay, it's something we should both work on."
Vic sighed.
"Don't you think we already have enough to work on? You wanna add to that list?"
She was trying to make light of the situation.
"We'll figure something out."
Vic sat up slowly.
"I'm curious about something. Since we're adding to an already overloaded list here. How do you see his unfolding?"
The question was vague.
"This?"
She clarified.
"You and me."
"How do you mean?"
They were already knee deep. Vic seemed ready to wade in even farther.
"Don't get me wrong. I don't mind keeping this quiet for now. God knows you and I have been talked about enough in this town. But…we can't do it forever."
This was one topic they hadn't broached yet.
"No. We can't."
"So…"
It was a prompt.
Walt pressed his lips together. She was sitting up now, with her legs crossed, her hair falling down around her shoulders. It struck him that it was longer than when she first came to town. Darker blonde. Now, he had firsthand knowledge of just how soft her hair was. How it smelled.
"Walt?"
Walt blinked.
"Hmm?"
"Either you're not listening, or…you don't know."
"I was listening. Ideally…the closer to my retirement, the better."
She bit her bottom lip in a move that drew his eyes unintentionally.
"That's weeks away. Did you give Crane an official date?"
"No. I have a meeting with him tomorrow to iron out the details. We don't…need to decide this tonight."
"I know. It's just…"
Her voice trailed off.
"Just what?"
She shrugged and stretched her legs out.
"I don't know. You're right. We don't have to do this tonight."
He hesitated.
"Vic, if you want to…"
She shook her head, effectively silencing him.
"No, it's okay."
Her sudden turnaround left him feeling slightly off. She seemed resolute, though. She shifted down slightly on the bed and lay back down. Walt watched as she got situated before he spoke up again.
"You should try and get some sleep."
Vic nodded as she shifted onto her side facing away from him.
"Yeah."
Walt slipped his arm over her waist, letting it rest there. He pressed his mouth first to her shoulder, then into her hair, where he inhaled the smell of her. She didn't say anything else. She moved a little more. Then, her breathing slowly evened out and he could tell that she had fallen asleep. Walt settled in himself and wasn't far behind her.