"What! Oh my God, what do I do now? How long is he going to be in jail?" I asked Bradin

"Um, maybe about 10 years" Bradin answered

"Where do I live now? The house is getting taken away" my face started to turn red and wet from crying

"You're probably going to stay with us." Bradin said

"But I don't want to, don't I have a choice?" I asked

"No choice" the police officer interrupted

"No—no get away from me, I don't know any of you!" I yelled as I was running out of the building

I ended up walking 2 miles to my 'old' house. And I realized that this is reality. I did deny it. What other bad thing could happen to me besides my dad and his drunken friends getting arrested and because of that my home is getting taken away. I didn't mind the thing about living in Bradin's place. I have much more to worry about. Like finding a job so I can buy an apartment or a better car. I have a lot of things to worry about, not just about the arrest or the house, like finding my own place by the age of…well, next year. I'll never to talk to Bradin anyway, He's probably getting a ride to school from his surf coach, Erica, while I take the bus, doesn't matter to me. My life turns even more horrible when I moved here to Playa Linda.

I don't like people much, ever since my mom died that is. Some guy was drunk and he caused a car accident, and my mom died. Since my dad was drunk all the time, harm came to me. So I ended hating all men, I'm not a lesbian. The only man I could trust was my grandpa, but no way would I have contact with the afterlife.

Now, the only guy I could really trust is Bradin, I don't like talking to him anymore. I started to pack my old items and I found my old notebook, sloppy, my smile appeared and like a shield it made all the tears to just go away. I read the first line "hey, this is my first diary, it's not actually a diary, it's a notebook, I didn't have enough money to afford a diary. So um leave a message after the beep."

I still remember that day; I was about 8 years old. Nine years ago. It's like hearing the same song over and over again, so familiar. Same with the black bird, they basically all look the same, and sound the same. Yellow eyes are always in my memory.

I heard someone walking up the stair case, and then down the hall. Maybe looking for me. Then they opened the door to my bedroom slowly. I saw a teenager's head peeking in. Curious I guess. Friendly too.

"Hey I'm Nikki, your going to stay in my room with me. Ok?" she asked very cheerfully

"Um, ok?" I said confusingly

Nikki grabbed my back pack full of clothes. And I grabbed the other one with the blankets and pillows. It had my doll in it also, I had it since I was 5, before my mom died.