Ch. 25 The Talk With Izzy
Davis and I walked back to the stage room.
"Where are the others? Are they coming?" Cody asked me.
"They'll be here in a couple of minutes," I told him.
"Kari, you look pale," Yolei pointed out.
I haven't looked at myself in awhile. Why would I be pale? I had no reason.
"You are Kari, come look at yourself," Davis walked me over to a tall mirror.
"I am," I stared at the image of myself.
"Are you feeling ok?" Davis asked me.
"I'm not that sure," I answered in a confused way.
"Maybe she should lie down," Willis thought.
"That's sounds like a good idea. Come on Kari, you'll get your color back," Davis walked me over to where all of our backpacks were.
"I'm so cold," I told Davis. I was in a tank top, why wouldn't I be cold?
"It isn't that cold, but let me see if I have something you can rap around you," Davis searched his backpack, but he didn't find anything.
"Davis, I don't need a blanket or a coat," I said weakly.
"Then what do you need?" he questioned.
"I need you!" I cried.
He held me close. I was scared and cold. I didn't know what was wrong with me. All I knew was that I just wanted to be held by Davis.
"Don't worry, it will be ok, I won't let anything hurt you, I'll always be here," Davis comforted me.
"I know you will, you are the only one that will be there for me, you always are. That's what makes me love you so much," I didn't mean to say that!
"Being able to protect you is what I love to do. I love the way you always trust me. Your honesty is wonderful. You are the only one that understands me. That is what makes me love you so much," Davis whispered in my ear.
I heard the stage door open, Tai and the others have arrived.
"Where is Kari and Davis?" I heard Tai ask, I didn't hear anything else.
"He's coming," Davis warned me.
"I don't care, just don't leave me," I pleaded.
"I'm not going anywhere," he reassured me.
"Kari, are you down here?" Tai walked over to where Davis and I was.
"Over here Tai!" Davis called him over.
"Why aren't you guys with the others?" Tai asked.
"I'm cold, I was going to lie down, but I got too cold," I explained.
"Davis was trying to keep you warm, that was nice of him," he replied to my statement. Tai wasn't mad at Davis for holding me, or for us being alone.
"She was pretty pale before, she is finally getting her color back," Davis informed Tai.
"Why was she pale?" Tai questioned.
"I don't know, she was like that when we got back to the stage room, after we talked to you," Davis told him.
"Matt brought some blankets, you guys should get one," Tai told us.
"Right, I'm going to get you a blanket Kari," Davis got up.
"No! Don't leave me!" I held his arm and tried to pull him back down.
"I'll be right back," Davis said.
"No, you can't leave! I need you! I don't want to be left alone!" I cried.
"Don't worry Kari, Davis isn't going anywhere, I'll go get you guys a blanket," Tai decided.
"Thanks Tai," Davis sat back down, Tai left.
After a couple of minutes, Tai came back with a blanket.
"Here you go; you guys should get some rest. If you want to, you can join the others and I on the stage, or you can stay down here," Tai told us.
"We'll come up if Kari wants to, if we don't, we don't." Davis decided.
"Ok…Kari, I'll see you in the morning, good night," Tai told me.
"Good night Tai," I said weakly.
Tai had left and Davis and I were alone again.
"How are you feeling?" Davis asked me.
"Not so good," I answered.
"Do you feel sick? Do you want me to get Tai?" he questioned.
"No, don't leave me, all I need is you to stay here, to protect me," I was shaking.
"Protect you? Nothing's going to hurt you, not in here," he tried to calm me.
"Many things can hurt me," I sounded like I was crazy.
"Let's go sleep by the others," Davis decided.
"I…I can't move, I'm too weak," I stuttered.
"Then I'll just have to carry you," Davis stood up.
"Oh Davis, you might hurt yourself," I shook my head at the idea.
"I know why you don't want me to leave you! You don't want what happened to Izzy and Mimi to happen to us. Kari, I would never leave you, not for another girl. I told you, you are my world! You make me complete," Davis comforted me.
"They were meant for each other. Mimi thinks her life will be better without Izzy, but it won't. Izzy needs Mimi, like I need you! Life has it's bumpy roads, but you can make them smooth, but only if you want to. Davis, I want to prove to her that Izzy is the one for her, but I just don't know how too! I know it isn't my problem, but I'm always involved anyways! I think I'm the only one thank can fix this problem. I just don't like to see our group falling apart, and helping Mimi and Izzy will pull us back together. I might not be the strongest, but I'm a good healer," I explained.
"You're as strong, as brave, as smart, as you want to be, you are the only one stopping yourself. Do what you want, don't let anyone hold you back!" Davis told me.
I stood up and started to walk away.
"Hey! Wait for me! What if I don't want to be left alone?" Davis yelled after me.
"See, you always make me feel better, that is was makes me like you so much!" I said.
"Will you be quiet down there? Some people do like to sleep!" I heard Tai yell from the stage.
"We're not sleeping!" Sora shouted at him.
"You coming Davis? I'm feeling better now, let's get up there, we don't want to be left out! It seems like they're having fun. Davis?" I asked.
"Oh, yeah, I'm coming," Davis answered me in a soft and lonely voice.
"You sound so lost, are you feeling ok?" I questioned.
"I'm fine, really, let's just go up there," he didn't sound ok.
"Davis, I feel like you are now hiding something from me. Will you please tell me? I would love to know what's on your mind," I felt like something was wrong.
He hesitated to reply.
"It's about T.K.," I guessed.
Davis nodded his head. T.K. was the thing bothering him.
"Is it about what he told us today?" I asked.
"Yes," he finally gave me an answer.
"Why?" I ask.
"I didn't think he still liked you. I thought he was over you. What if he really is trying to use Yolei to get closer to you? What if he's trying to be my friend to get closer to you? Kari, what he said scares me, I don't want him to take you away from me," Davis whispered.
"I told you before Davis, I have no feelings for T.K. other then friendship. He can't take me away from you, you mean everything to me," I explained.
Davis didn't say anything to me.
"Maybe I should talk to him," I decided.
"I'm not that sure if that's a good idea," Davis told me.
"Sometimes you have to take chances, and since Tai is my brother, and from what our group of friends are saying, you are my boyfriend, I have learned that nothing should stand in your way. So, I'm going to talk to him if he's still awake," I informed him.
"Right, I'll get some sleep," Davis smiled.
"Ok," I walked onto the stage.
I saw that T.K. was still awake, so I walked over to him.
"Hey Kari," he smiled at me.
"I need to talk to you; do you have some time to spare? It's really important," I asked.
"Yeah, let's go out in the hall. I have a feeling I know what you want to talk about," T.K. told me.
"Come on," I said.
We walked out into the hallway. I stood right where I was when Davis kissed me. T.K. stood where Davis was. It some what spooked me.
"So, what did you need to talk about?" T.K. questioned.
"Is it ok if I just ask you some questions?" I wondered.
"Sure, go on," he told me.
"Are you trying to be friends with Davis to get closer to me?" I asked.
"No," he simply replied.
"Are you using Yolei to get close to me?"
"Nope."
"Do you know that what you told us in the stage room scares Davis?"
"It does, I didn't mean to scare anyone."
"Why do you still have feelings for me T.K.? You know that I don't like you. You know that I'm with Davis. Are you hiding something from me? T.K., what you told us, it scares me to! I don't like being scared by a friend," I told him.
"I don't know why I still like you, and I know you only like me as a friend! Yes, I am hiding something, and I'm not trying to scare anyone!" T.K. yelled at me.
"Wait, back up, you're hiding something from me? Will you tell me what it is?" I questioned.
"If you promise not to tell anyone else," he said.
"I'll only tell if the secret I'm to hold will hurt or put someone in danger," I decided.
"I am…I've been thinking. Since we met, I thought our friendship would never die, I thought we would be friends for life. When I was younger, ok, I still do, wish we could have something more than friendship. I know that this will never happen; you have only friendship for me. I was thinking about what I said to you a couple nights ago, about me losing you. I figured it out, I am losing you, and you are losing me! Our friendship will not be able to go on, not with you spending so much time with Davis and Yolei and I. Our friendship is going to die soon!" T.K. said, deep with thought.
"Then we'll make time!" I screamed.
"Kari, we can't, it just won't work, maybe if our friendship is gone, I might get over you."
"Don't think like that!"
"I'm sorry."
"T.K., I love you with all my heart!" That didn't end up coming out right.
"What?" T.K. was confused by my words.
"That came out wrong," I tried to explain.
He just stared at the ground.
Why did I tell him I loved him with all my heart? I didn't love him; Davis is the one I love. Was are friendship really dying? It was never meant to end. I do love T.K., as if he was my brother…He was my first friend other then Tai.
"I meant it as if you were my brother…T.K., you were my first friend other then Tai. I don't love you as if you were my boyfriend, more as a friend that I can always trust. I don't want to lose you. I never want to see our friendship die; it's what made me strong!" I was scared.
T.K. didn't say anything again. He just stared at my eyes, as if he was trying to read my thoughts.
"Your eyes…They glow in the light, just like Davis's. They are beautiful," I said out loud.
"Kari? Who are you? You aren't the girl I know, something is wrong," T.K. told me.
"Something is wrong; my heart is hurt, as if torn in half between two people. T.K., there will always be a place for you in my heart, and I think it just grew to the same size as Davis's part. I'm noticing things about you that I never saw before. Your eyes, your smile, your laugh, they seem so different now."
"Kari, what are you trying to say?"
"This is all wrong! This shouldn't be happening! I shouldn't be thinking this way; I have no feelings for you, no more than the love of friendship!" I was in pain, my heart ached.
"This is wrong…You shouldn't be here, or maybe I shouldn't be here. This is your spot, the spot for you and Davis. It isn't safe in this spot. Where I stand is where Davis stood when he gave you that kiss, when I walked out on you. My feelings for you will always burn, but this isn't right. I would give anything to get a kiss from you, but not when you are with Davis, not when it feels so wrong," he said.
I looked away, then I looked back. What I saw wasn't there, T.K. was right. I was seeing things that weren't there. I was seeing Davis when it was T.K. I was looking at.
"You shouldn't be sorry, I should be. Thank you for telling me how you feel, but you will never lose me. So, I'm sorry for the trouble I put you through…You have nothing to be sorry for. You can't control your heart, or your head. It's hard to figure out which one is right. Sometimes you have to guess. If you ever need help, just ask. I will never leave you; our friendship will always be safe. Friends forever, that is what we'll be, rough times will come, but we have to be strong, and get past those points. We must face our journey, we have long to go, our lives are short, the memories will last, if we believe this, the times we have will never be part of the past," I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.
T.K. placed his hand on his cheek. "What was that for?"
"A kiss to seal our friendship…But that is the only one you get. Keep it locked in your heart, don't tell a soul. I'll keep your secret, it will never be told," I told him.
"Did you read that out of a book? Never mind…I know where we stand, our friendship will last…That's if we want it to," he said.
I smiled a sweet smile. T.K. opened the door, and we went back into the stage room.
"Be very quiet, they're all sleeping," T.K. whispered as we slowly walked in.
I saw Tai out of the corner of my eye. He was still awake and he was watching our every move.
"Tai's awake," I pointed at him.
"I'm not awake, I'm asleep," he tried to spook us.
"Really funny Tai…What are you doing up still? Everyone else is sleeping," I asked.
"Not everyone, you and T.K. are still up," he pointed out.
"Right…Where is Izzy? He's not in here. Everyone else is in here, but not him. Tai? Where is Izzy? I don't want him to be by himself," I was worried.
"He went to take a short walk…He went that way," Tai pointed down the stage to a door.
"I'm going to go look for him. If Davis wakes up, tell him I'll be back soon," I decided.
"I'll stay up until you get back. Don't worry about Davis; I'll make sure he knows where you are. Tai looks tired, I'll take over his job for awhile," T.K. told me.
"My job? I don't have a job," Tai was confused.
"He means waiting for me to return. Staying up because I'm not here. T.K. will wait for me, letting you get some sleep," I explained.
"Right…I'll let him do that," Tai said.
"I'll be back soon," I walked out the door that Izzy once went through.
"If I was Izzy where would I be, where would I go?" I questioned myself.
"You'd be up here, waiting for you to come," I heard Izzy's voice, but I didn't see him.
"Where are you?" I asked.
"Oh, sorry. I'll come down, just give me a second," he said back.
"I know where you are…I'll come to you," I decided.
"Fine by me. That's if you can figure out how to get up here," Izzy teased.
"I know how to, I'm just that smart!" I joked.
I climbed a ladder that led to a platform where Izzy sat.
"Why are you up here?" I questioned.
"I didn't feel like being around the others," Izzy told me.
"That must mean you don't want me to be here," I said.
"I like to talk to you," he informed me.
I looked around. It was a great view from up here. You could see everywhere. I then looked for the spot where T.K. and I were talking. You could see it perfectly. Did Izzy see me out there with T.K., did he see what happen?
"Izzy, did you see T.K. and I out here?" I asked.
"Yeah…I saw everything. I was even up here when you and Davis were down there. I guess this is my little get away place," he said.
"I can't believe you saw that," I covered my face with my hands.
"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. I never noticed how emotional you were, not until I saw you down there with T.K., it was sweet. The words you said, they sounded like you read them out of a book, but you had nothing to read from. It showed your true feelings for him. I think I finally understand you. Then there was you out in the hall with Davis. You and him kissing, and then T.K. walked out on you. It must have made him heart broken to see you kissing. You are a great person; it's good that you're putting T.K. in his place. He needs a friend like you," Izzy explained.
"I kissed him," was all I said.
"Who, T.K.?" he questioned.
"I shouldn't have done that," I admitted.
"It's ok, it was out of friendship. You must be careful though. The love of friendship can be tricky, it may fool you. You may think that T.K. is a friend for a day, and then the next you can be crushing on him without knowing it! It did surprise me when you told him you loved him. I never knew T.K. was like a brother to you. Being up here taught me a lot about you," Izzy told me.
"I fear to ask this off subject question, but I must…How are you and Mimi doing?" I asked.
"I've been avoiding her. I'm scared to ask her anything. I guess Mimi won't forgive me for my mistake," he said.
"If it's ok, I want to help you…You've helped me," I smiled.
"You can try all you want, not that it will help," he told me.
"Did you hear about the girl who crashed the dance?" I questioned.
"What? Why don't you tell me?" Izzy smiled sweetly.
"There was this boy and girl dancing. Their friend turned on the bright light. The girl wanted to get out of it. Her plan was for the boy to walk to the edge of the stage and jump down. When he got to the end of the stage, he fell off. They wouldn't let go of each other, there was a chain reaction. They both fell off the stage. This girl was lucky, she had a soft landing. Her friends rushed to get her brother, who was very worried. Everything was fine in the end, good thing the guy was strong and didn't get hurt!" I laughed.
"So that is why T.K. rushed into the room. He was pretty worried. A dancing accident, that's kind of funny!" he started to laugh with me.
"Want to know anything else?" I asked.
"Is there anything else I missed?" he countered.
"Well, T.K. told me, Davis, Yolei, Cody, and Willis his true feeling for me, that he still liked me. He really scared Davis. I think I set him strait though," I tried to smile again, but I couldn't.
"So, you really had a crush on me. That's really funny. If I was your age, I would go out with you in a heartbeat! Sorry, that was off the topic. You just seem so sad, like something is wrong. Want to tell me what it is? I'm here to listen," Izzy stared at me.
I just stared back at him. What should I say?
"You're not going to say anything…Ok. Let's try this. What are you going to tell Jennifer tomorrow? I don't want you to make a bigger fool of myself," Izzy tried to smile, but I could tell it was hard for him to even try.
"I'm going to ask her what happened. Why did she go from popular to smart? I want to know what she did to you, what she truly did to you. I want to get some information from her. I'm going to tell her what she did hurt you in more than one way. I'll need to tell her about Mimi, if that's ok. I want to get to know her, tried to find out what she's like. I think I can find a way to make things between you and Mimi better…If Jennifer is willing to help me," I coldly said.
"I don't care about Mimi anymore. She proved to me that I'm not right for her. I thought the facts lied, but they didn't, it was just myself lying," he told me.
"I think it's wrong to give up so easily," I decided.
"Kari, think about it. If Mimi truly wanted me, she wouldn't of cared about Jennifer, or the mistake I made. She would have known I liked her for more than a pretty face. If Mimi truly understood how I feel about her, she wouldn't have left me behind! She would still be by my side. But that isn't how it turned out! I have nothing left Kari, nothing! When I lost Mimi, everything went with her! I have nothing to hold onto, no sister or brother to talk to. No one will ever understand how I feel about Mimi, not even herself! No one will ever understand, they never understood me, why would they now? It was three years ago Kari! You'd think people would learn to forget about the past. She wasn't even here when it happened. Maybe I just don't know her…Maybe. Or I should just forget about Mimi, maybe I should move on! I bet she never even liked me! She didn't understand me, how could she know me? She thought I was a loser four years ago…Why would things change? Things don't change, not with Mimi! She wants her way, she wants what she wants when she wants it…I can't give that to her. Not now, not tomorrow, not ever! I just can't, I can't give up everything for her!" Izzy yelled. I could tell he meant what he said, yet it didn't seem like he felt that it was the truth. I didn't think it was.
"That isn't the truth. No one forgets about the past. Mimi wasn't here; she didn't even know what happened to you. I understand how it feels to be left out, like no one understands you. I felt that way my whole life! Forgetting things doesn't help, most of the time it makes it worse! Izzy, what you need to do is learn from your mistakes, don't lock them away. Just don't start locking things inside, Izzy, it only brings hate and scared into your world, it doesn't help. I've tried, I failed. My life was almost ruined just because I kept secrets that didn't need to be kept. It hurts you; it hurts to lock things inside. Please, don't make the mistakes I made. Tell Mimi how you feel, tell her the first chance you have!" I pleaded.
"I can't, I just can't."
"You can if you want to! Don't give up until you try!"
Izzy got up and started to walked down the ladder.
"Please Izzy! I will never forgive myself if you ruin this for both yourself and Mimi. I know you were meant to be, I just know it!" I yelled down to him.
"I thought the same thing, until I was proven wrong today," he called back.
I walked down the ladder and ran to his side.
"If you want to fix your first mistake, you can't make another," I told him.
"I hate it, the fact that you are always right, even when you talk about things that aren't so good. How do always know? Does it just come to you?" Izzy questioned.
"I told this to Davis and I will tell you too…It comes from my heart, not from my head," I said.
"We better get back to the others," he decided.
"T.K. is still awake; he promised Tai that he would wait for me to return, so Tai could rest. Wouldn't you call him a true friend?" I asked.
"Other then the first time he tried to steal you from Davis, yes. I would watch out for T.K., he doesn't always know right from wrong. His head and heart get in many fights, he never knows which one is right," Izzy warned me.
"I'll watch out, you don't need to worry. He knows I'm with Davis now, and if T.K. doesn't, he'll learn, I'll make him learn. I won't let him get the better of me, not like I already did. I was just seeing things, things that weren't there. I was seeing Davis, but looking at T.K., a common mistake," I smiled.
"You'll learn," he laughed and pulled me off to the side of the hall.
"What do you mean I'll learn?" I questioned when Izzy pulled me over.
"Kari, what do you see when you look at me? Honestly," Izzy asked.
"I see a friend that I once had a crush on. Someone that I can trust, a friend to talk to…I see, I see a boy that tries to be cool, but just doesn't understand he needs to be himself. I see him faking himself, trying to be someone he isn't. I see a wonderful smile, but sad eyes, a heart of gold, but with no one to share his love. I also see a mistake, that can't be erased," I admitted.
"What? Never mind, moving on…What about Tai?" he questioned.
"My brother, that's what I see in him. He's someone I can trust, but can be over protective. I see him as the leader of the group, a boy of great courage, a born leader," I told Izzy.
"You know that saying, there is no 'I' in team. Some people would think, but there is an 'I' in win. Which saying do you think is right?" he was full of questions.
"There is no 'I' in team. Sure, there is an 'I' in win, but can you truly seek victory without a friend to help?" I smiled.
He just laughed at what I said. I guess Izzy found it funny.
"Do you find something funny?" I requested.
Izzy stopped his laughter and stared at me. He didn't say anything, not a word.
"Your silence, it scares me," I confessed.
"I'm sorry…Sorry…A word that doesn't always work, a word we made to try to make things all better…It is a worthless, meaningless word," Izzy explained.
"Nothing is worthless, and everything has a meaning, we just don't always know what the meaning is. Izzy, before I forget, I want to thank you, from yesterday that is," I said.
"Thank me, I never did anything!" he smiled.
"When I felt all those sick feelings, you always cared. You made me feel better, you really cared. Why did you care so much? It was really you and T.K. making sure I was ok. I know T.K.'s reasoning, but I don't know your reason…I would love to know," I said happily.
"I don't really know. I guess I didn't want to see you get hurt, you know? I wanted to see you better…Or maybe I just wanted you to tell Davis, which wouldn't of happened if you didn't get better…Hey, want to see something I made?" Izzy randomly asked.
"Sure Izzy, why not?" I answered with a puzzled smile.
"Come with me, I'll have to get my laptop…Hold on, stay here. I'll be back in a second. You'll be ok out here…Won't you?" he slyly questioned.
"I'll be fine…I'll get it for you…Where is it?" I wanted to see Davis and T.K., to make sure they were ok. I didn't get to say good night.
"It's on the first seat, by the stairs…Don't take to long," Izzy decided.
I walked through the door that led to the stage.
"Kari?" I saw T.K. jump up when he caught sight of me.
"Shh…Yeah, it's me. Is Davis awake, or is he still asleep?" I questioned.
"I'm awake," I heard Davis's soft and sweet voice.
I walked over to them.