Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts; if I did then life would be beautiful
Key:
- Dream State - , Flashback , ' thoughts ', " Dialogue "
----------------------------------------------------------------------------- A change in writing style/time/place/whatever (will notate in () which one)
Rating: K+ For drama
Author's Note: It's a one-shot Riku / Sora.
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(Keep smiling)
Riku's POV
I watch you from a distance, condemned to wander in the corridors of darkness forever. You can't see me in the shadows, always watching. You go on with your life, as carefree as ever, it hurts me to see you with her. But if you are happy then I am also happy, and that is all that will ever matter to me. The day you stop smiling is the day I die from loneliness.
It used to be that we would hang out together, the three of us, laughing, smiling, dreaming. Imagining the day when we would build our raft and sail away to a distant, foreign land. Never did I think that you would marry her, never did I realize that I was already in love with you. I wish that I had seen it then, wish that I could tell you what I know in my heart to be true.
We weren't meant to be, you and me. That's what I tell myself. You love life; your heart is pure and full of joy. I hate myself more every day; the shadows kept at bay only by remembering your beautiful light, shining into my heart.
I can hear your laughter even now as you dance through life with her. She makes you happy; it's something that I can never do; because I'm trapped here on the other side watching you. It's my own personal torture chamber. I stand watching through the shadows as you enjoy your light.
But I will always protect you, my love. Whenever you take a step into my domain, I will may sure they can't touch you. As long as I am here you are invincible. When they begin to get the upper hand I casually step in and finish them off without you ever knowing I was there. I remember the times when we fought side-by-side; they are my fondest memories.
I wish that you understood my decision; the look on your face when I stayed behind was priceless. "But why would you choose this? Why not come home?" You had asked me. I laughed and reminded you of the facts.
It wouldn't do for me to exist with you; I'd be tempted by your smile. Your bright and innocent smile would only bring us trouble as I would have had to tell you how I feel. You would have laughed at me; I know it, for you take nothing seriously. I love that about you.
So here I will stay, in the shadows, forever watching you. I am condemned to wish to be beside you, when I know that I cannot. I choose this ending for myself, because I am afraid. I am afraid that you might find out the truth in my heart and look at me with disgust. I am not normal, I apologize. But I have already decided that you will never know.
I have restricted myself from dreaming of the future because it would kill me to allow myself that freedom. It would kill me to imagine returning someday, your bright smile lighting up my heart as I tell you everything and you accept me for who I am. Even thinking about this gives me goosebumps. I reprimand myself for being foolish, and then I return to watch you smile, it is enough to calm my tainted spirit.
I hope that you are as happy in life as you appear to be. Perhaps this is all just a cruel trick that some deity is playing on us. Perhaps you only appear to be collected and easy going. Maybe I am wrong, and you wish for me as often as I wish for you. But as long as you keep smiling, I'll never be the wiser. I'll believe that you are happy, and that I am happy as long as you are. It is the only way I can control my sanity.
I watch night fall, a gentle blanket of darkness gently tucking you in. In the shadows I am as close to you as I can possibly be, sitting beside you in the midnight hours. I reach from my shadow and stroke your hair. It is soft like that of a child's. You stir slightly and open your eyes. I smile, but you look right through me.
I am a dream to you. I am a silent shadow that haunts your sleep. You cannot see me, you never will. Your confusion when I touch you only makes me smile at how adorable you are. I apologize for this weakness, but inwardly I am glad that you cannot see me.
You fall asleep at last, goodnight my love. Tomorrow I will once again be watching you from a distance, imagining that I am happy, because you are happy.
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End - rozukitsune