Ch. 18: reaching for you from an endless dream
"You look…"
He seemed slightly at a loss, but managed to salvage the compliment.
"…beautiful."
Vic resisted the temptation to look down at herself. It wasn't like her wardrobe was all that extensive. She wore a uniform to work consisting of her duty shirts and work jeans. After work, unless she was going out, she tended to simply wear tank tops or t-shirts along with lounging pants or jeans. The rest of her clothes were a mixture of casual going out clothes, professional dress that primarily saw daylight when she needed to make an appearance in court, and dresses for the handful of occasions that required them. When she moved into the RV, she boxed up the clothes she almost never wore, and put them in storage along with the furniture that was hers after she and Sean split.
While she looked through her clothes, it didn't escape her how her wardrobe had slowly changed while she lived in Wyoming. Back in Philly, she wore mostly urban looking clothes that included dark colored jeans and black jackets. Out here, her style morphed, combining what was available in local stores with what she personally liked and what was appropriate for the weather. It tended to give her a slightly softer look than the way she dressed back home with lighter colors and a more western touch.
After sifting through her limited options twice, she finally settled on a casual looking sundress. It was still summer, so she could get away with it. The night would likely be cool, though. She pulled out a tan colored leather jacket that gave the outfit a mild edge and made her look more like she belonged out west as opposed to the east coast.
She liked the finished product well enough, including the heeled sandals she wore.
Walt offered to pick her up, but she brushed the idea off and told him she would meet him at the cabin so that she could leave her truck there. She figured she would likely spend the night with him anyway.
"Overstatement. But…thank you."
Walt shook her off.
"No, it's not."
Vic ran her eyes over him. He had shaved and it looked like he might have gotten his hair cut during the later afternoon when he disappeared for a while. Since then, she only saw him with his hat on and hadn't noticed the trimming that got his hair up off his collar. His face was smooth and clean shaven.
She couldn't help but reach up and touch it.
"Nice."
Her fingers trailed along his jaw before her hand dropped. He did look nice, wearing newer looking jeans and one of his snap front shirts that wasn't faded. It was a deep green color and based on the stiffness of the fabric, this might have been his first time wearing it.
He gave her an aw shucks smile and dipped his face. It was that quality in him that endlessly drove her crazy. In a good way. Walt was a big man, a confident man under the right circumstances. He could stare down the barrel of a gun and not blink. He didn't think anything of going over a cliff with a hastily made line or traipsing through the mountains. But, he wasn't good with compliments. It brought out a shyness in him that she suspected dated back to his boyhood.
It was easy to picture him as a kid when he was like this. Daring with his own friends, but withdrawing inside of himself when the opposite sex was around and his comfort abandoned him.
"So…where are we going?"
Walt opened the door and led the way out to the Bronco.
"You'll see."
She huffed out a breath of impatience.
"You're getting on my nerves."
Walt shrugged as he started the engine.
"Wouldn't be the first time. Won't be the last."
She smiled and turned to look out the window as he drove up the dirt road that led to the cabin, dust kicking up behind them.
"At least tell me how you found this place. I can't exactly picture you getting on the internet and Googling places to eat?"
"Googling?"
Vic shook her head.
"Searching. So…"
"Henry."
"Henry is an expert on restaurants in Sheridan?"
"Nope. He said he took a lady friend to this place."
She cut her eyes at him.
"A lady friend? Does Henry have a girlfriend?"
Walt shrugged.
"Henry isn't much for long term relationships."
"That might change with him working at the casino."
"It could."
Vic turned her eyes back to the window.
"Sean is getting married."
She didn't have any idea why she said it. It just came out before she really gave it any thought. Walt gave her a quick look before returning his eyes to the road.
"Really?"
"According to Michael."
"How do you feel about that?"
She looked his way.
"I don't feel any way about it."
"Seems fast."
"Yeah, I guess he's got a good idea of what he wants, or doesn't want, after being married to me."
She took in a breath and watched him drive for a few minutes as the quiet spread out around them. It wasn't uncomfortable. Not like some of their drives in the more recent past. She suspected he was thinking. Probably about what she just told him. It shouldn't bother him. She didn't have any feelings for Sean. Truth be told, towards the end of her marriage, she realized that and it gave her little desire to try and keep the relationship going. They honestly started out as two people who loved each other. Maybe not enough, but the feelings were there. Over time, those feelings of affection eroded and they were left with the remains of their tattered relationship.
"You weren't compatible."
His voice broke into her thoughts. She looked at him.
"What?"
Walt cleared his throat.
"You and Sean weren't compatible."
That was all he said, but there was a lot of truth wrapped up in the simple sentence. He was right. She and Sean stopped working a long time before either of them was willing to admit that to themselves or each other.
"No…we weren't."
xxx
Dinner was good. He made a mental note to thank Henry for the recommendation. He was out of the loop when it came to nicer places to eat. His culinary adventures in recent years were limited to the bar fare at the Red Pony and the casual homestyle cooking at the Busy Bee. This restaurant billed itself as a steakhouse, but offered a wide range of food. The ambience was nice with a subtle western décor that was tasteful and not geared towards tourists. There was instrumental music that Walt didn't recognize playing from speakers he hadn't located in a volume that was just loud enough to hear, but not distract.
The place was busy, but not packed. They were lucky enough to be seated at a small booth that ran along one wall and put them away from the middle of the dining room where foot traffic was heavier.
The lighting was dim and the effect made Vic's eyes look darker than normal when she lifted her eyes from her mostly eaten dinner and studied him in that way she did so well. She was trying to read his mind. It wouldn't have surprised him at all if she actually pulled it off one of these days.
"So…what's all this about?"
Walt sipped water from his glass and set it down.
"What do you mean?"
She looked around.
"This."
"You didn't like it?"
"Oh, I liked it. I'm just…curious about your motives."
"Curious or suspicious?"
"Curious."
Walt shifted in his chair.
"I just wanted to…take you out. We…never do that. I botched it last time and then your brother came to town. I…"
He started to say something and caught himself. It was too late, though. She was honed in.
"You what?"
Vic's voice was soft and almost coaxing. It was a tone he didn't hear from her all that often.
He wasn't good with these kinds of talks. Baring these parts of himself wasn't easy.
"I…don't want you to think that I'm not trying."
Vic's eyes narrowed.
"Have I given you that impression?"
"No."
He responded quickly.
She ran her fingers lightly over the condensation that was gathered on the outside of her glass.
"Thank you."
She said the words softly before continuing.
"Walt, I just want you to know that you don't have to be someone you're not with me. I don't have…unrealistic expectations."
He frowned.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Just what I said. I don't expect you to be…to be…"
She seemed to have lost her train of thought.
"Vic, do you love me?"
He could read the surprise on her face. His question caught her off guard. The bluntness was very much something she wielded effectively herself.
"You know I do."
"How?"
"How?"
"How do I know that you love me?"
She bit her lip, unsure of where he was going.
"Because…I've told you. And…I would like to think that I show you."
"So…why question my motives? This didn't come with any…expectations."
Something in her face eased.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to imply that you expected anything. It's just that we agreed to table…expectations."
"That was your idea as I recall."
She smiled when he tossed that one back at her.
"Fair enough and point taken."
He smiled at her and nodded to her plate.
"Do you want anything else?"
Vic shook her head.
"No. I'm done. It was good."
He nodded and paid the bill before standing up. Vic pulled on her jacket as Walt placed his hat on his head and waited for her to come around the table.
Outside, the might was clear and the temperatures were pleasant.
Vic looked down the sidewalk.
"Can we walk?"
Walt dipped his head.
"Sure."
She slipped her arm through his and they started walking at a slow pace. Vic looked around, taking in the town.
"This place…"
She gestured around with her free hand.
"…is bigger than Durant. But, all these little Wyoming towns are cut from the same cloth."
Walt nodded in acknowledgement.
"Yep. But…you could say the same for big cities. They all have their differences, but there are similarities that run through all of them. If you really know a place, you know what makes it unique. If you don't, it looks just like every other place it's size."
She was quiet for a moment as they walked.
"You ever been to Philadelphia?"
"No."
"You should."
"I've always wanted to. Wouldn't mind seeing the Liberty Bell."
Vic groaned.
"Don't get me started."
Walt gave her an amused look.
"You don't like it."
"It's not that. I get that it's historical and all that. But, when you grow up there, every damn field trip you go on in school is either to the Liberty Bell or a damn museum."
"Well…they're historically significant."
Vic gave him a sideways look.
"Okay, I'll give you that. But, if you ever go with me, I'll show you the better side of Philadelphia. The places that tourists don't go."
"Deal."
Walt paused and looked around, getting his bearings. They had been walking for a while, but not very far based on their pace.
"We should head back."
Vic looked back towards where the Bronco was parked.
"Yeah, we should."
They started back towards the vehicle at the same leisurely pace.
"Are you staying tonight?"
"Yes. Unless…you have other plans."
Walt shook his head.
"Nope. No plans."
Vic smiled and tugged on his arm.
"Well…I have some plans so…"
"What kind of plans?"
"The kind you'll like."
They reached the Bronco and Vic slipped into the passenger seat. Walt took his place behind the steering wheel and turned the key in the ignition, the Bronco rumbling to life. He started towards the highway and felt her hand on his thigh. Her hand was warm through his jeans.
"I'm curious about something."
Walt steered with one hand and placed the other over hers. Vic cast him a smile in the darkness of the Bronco.
"What's the wildest thing you've ever done?"
xxx
"Play."
It was a request, not a command. Vic sat beside Walt on the piano bench watching his fingers stretch out over the keys and started to press out a tune she vaguely recognized, but was unable to name. She found she liked to watch him play the piano, the way his hands moved easily over the keys. She liked his hands. They were the rough hands of a man who knew work and there didn't seem to be anything soft about them. Yet, when he played the piano, there was an ease to them. They were strong and capable, harboring a softness that you had to look for since he didn't display it openly.
He was good with his hands.
Walt finished the song and leaned back a little, stretching out his long legs. Vic turned so that she was facing away from the piano, letting her own legs slip out and pressing her toes into the floor. Her legs were bare where they extended out from the shirt she wore that was Walt's. Slowly, she stood up, stretching out her back as she went. As much as she liked listening to him play the piano, the wooden bench wasn't comfortable for long term sitting.
She felt Walt rise behind her and he followed her into the bedroom. Vic sat down on the bed and pulled the sheet up over her legs. The air in the cabin was cooler now than earlier in the day. She didn't lay down, instead letting her back come to rest against the headboard.
"Tell me about your family."
Walt seemed surprised by her request and didn't respond right away. A distant look slipped into his eyes. The type that frequently accompanied conversations about the past.
"What do you want to know?"
Vic inhaled and exhaled before she answered.
"What kind of people were they?"
He thought about his response.
"Hard working."
Vic titled her head.
"That's the best you can come up with?"
He sighed. She prodded.
"I know your father worked with horses."
"Yep. He was a farrier, someone who trims and shoes horses. But…he could do other things with them as well. He was good with them. He worked a good bit of this area. Everyone knew him in that business. He was well respected. When I was out of school, he would take me along with him sometimes."
She knew it could take some effort to get Walt to open up.
"What was he like?"
His brow furrowed.
"He was a quiet man. He thought education was important, which wasn't always common in his line of work. He was…very well respected in the community."
"Was he a good father?"
She was getting closer. Walt looked her way.
"Yes. He wasn't an affectionate person, but that's how men tend to be with their sons. He was always fair and willing to hear me out. He taught me how important it was to earn what you had and not expect others to do it for you."
She studied him.
"How did he feel about you going into law enforcement?"
He fell silent again, obviously thinking.
"I like to think that he was proud of me."
She nodded slowly, taking in his response.
"And your mother?"
Something in him softened visibly.
"My mother liked music and she enjoyed dancing."
A smile pulled at her.
"She teach you both?"
"She tried. Not sure the dancing lessons really took."
Vic smiled in earnest.
"Maybe if you weren't so self-conscious."
He flipped her questions around on her.
"Why the interest in this?"
Vic shrugged.
"You're willing to talk about yourself. But, you don't usually go back very far. It seems like you know everything about my family."
"Not everything."
"You know the important stuff."
"Do I?"
"Do you?"
Walt smiled a little before growing more serious.
"What makes you different from the rest of them?"
"How do you mean?"
"You…aren't like your brothers. Why?"
She hadn't expected that question. Hadn't even thought of it herself.
"I…don't know. I'm the only girl."
He shook his head.
"It's not that."
"Since you seem to have all the answers, you tell me."
He didn't supply any answers.
"I don't know exactly. I've only met Michael. I just…know there's something different. It's why you're here when you could have just gone home."
Vic shifted on the bed.
"You know…this is my home right now."
"You know what I mean."
"I do."
His blue eyes sat on her, an underlying intensity in them.
"You're the bravest."
"The bravest?"
"You have more courage than them."
"You can't possibly know that."
One corner of his mouth pulled up.
"They are still in Philadelphia. You're here. That means you have the courage to go after the life you want, not the life that's expected of you."
"Could be they're just happy with their lives there."
"You weren't?"
"I was to a point. I didn't want to leave."
"I know. But…you could have gone back. After your divorce. There was nothing holding you here."
"Not true."
"Nothing legal like a marriage."
She understood what he was saying.
"I have burned a lot of bridges in my time and most of them were in Philadelphia. I could have gone back. But, not to the life I had there. That life is over. If I went back, I would be starting over just like when I moved her. It's just that people wouldn't see it the same way."
His head bobbed a little.
"I understand?"
"Do you?"
"Yes. I feel like…I'm starting over by retiring. Everyone here knows me as the Sheriff. That's going to change. I'm just not sure how yet."
"You're still the same man."
"To you. Not to them."
In an odd sense, she got what he was saying. That was always part of the draw with Walt. Despite the strong differences in raising and environment, they really weren't all that different. From early on in her time here, she felt like he understood her in a way no one else really had before.
It intrigued her in ways she wouldn't have imagined.
It seemed like recently their lives ran parallel tracks, even if hers was somewhat delayed.
It was strange to her that loss and pain could bond people so intricately and intimately. Yet, here they were. The biggest question in her mind was would that bond hold once those wounds started to heal.
If they healed.
"You alright?"
Vic blinked.
"Yeah."
He cocked his head.
"You sure?"
Vic nodded and offered him a smile.
"Yeah."
He didn't seem overly convinced, but he didn't push the issue any further. Vic slid down the bed and her head hit the pillow as she readjusted herself under the sheet. Walt stretched out beside her, still facing her.
"So…was date night what you wanted it to be this time?"
She was teasing him now, trying to keep the mood light. Her thoughts were far to heavy these days. It was something else she was determined to change.
"More."
Vic smiled widely.
"More, huh?"
She looked over his shoulder at the time.
"You know…it's not over just yet. Still before midnight."
"That so?"
He murmured the words, everything in him reacting to her planned tone of voice. She knew what she was doing.
"Yes. That's so."
xxx
There was a tap on his open door. Walt looked up to see Ferg standing there.
"You got a minute."
Walt waved him in.
"Sure. What's on your mind?"
Ferg came into his office and closed the door behind him. He sat down across from Walt's desk.
"I just wanted to say that…it's not going to be the same around here without you."
Walt looked at his youngest deputy. Even with the addition of Zach, Ferg was still the youngest when it came to age. Although, he was no longer the green young man that Walt hired. He had changed just as much as the rest of them. Maybe even more in some ways.
"I'll be around for a while longer."
He wasn't good at these moments.
"I know. But…"
Ferg sighed and squared his shoulders as though he were suddenly determined to say whatever was on his mind.
"Thank you for giving me a chance even though I didn't know anything about this job. More than one chance if we're being honest. I've learned a lot from you. Not just about the job. Probably more than I've learned from anyone else."
Walt hoped that was a good thing. Sometimes he wasn't sure.
"You're a good man, Ferg."
That was all he said, but the effect was obvious. Something crossed Ferg's face. A look of pride and he gave Walt a half smile.
"I hope so, Sheriff."
With that, he stood up and extended his hand. Walt hesitated, not having expected that, before he also rose and shook Ferg's offered hand. When Ferg withdrew his hand, he cleared his throat. Despite the fact that he seemed finished, there seemed to be something else on his mind. Walt studied him.
"More to say?"
Ferg seemed nervous now, his previous confidence relapsing into uncertainty.
"It's really not my business. I was just curious about something."
"What's that?"
Walt figured they might as well clear the air of whatever was needed. He felt that way about most things these days. He suddenly was more aware of how much he left unsaid and unresolved. He didn't want that to be his legacy here.
He wanted resolution.
Quiet spread out around them and he could see Ferg having a mental debate with himself.
"Come on, Ferg. If you've got something to say, let's have it."
Ferg took a breath before he finally seemed to find his voice.
"You…and Vic."
That was all he said. That was all he needed to say. On some level, he wasn't surprised that Ferg harbored suspicions about this. Based on their behavior for quite some time now, there was a good chance the young deputy suspected something long before there was even anything to think about. While, he didn't want to outright lie, he also didn't want to discuss it. It was a somewhat sticky situation. On one level, what happened between them wasn't anyone's business. But, Ferg was someone that worked with them and that complicated matters.
For the time being.
"That…would be personal."
Slowly, Ferg's head bobbed in understanding.
"Right. But it's…"
Walt shifted his stance and didn't answer. That seemed like confirmation enough for the younger man.
"Right."
A silent understanding passed between them and Ferg dropped his eyes.
"Thank you for talking to me."
"No problem."
The air between them eased up just as Vic walked in and paused when she saw the two of them.
"Sorry I…"
Ferg turned and tossed her a smile.
"I'm done."
"You sure?"
"Yes."
He brushed by her. Vic watched him go with a curious look before she turned back to Walt.
"What was that?"
Walt lowered himself back into his chair.
"He knows."
Her brow went up.
"He knows?"
She needed require clarification.
"Yep."
"Is…that a problem?"
Walt settled into his chair.
"Doesn't seem to be."
She gave him a look before she seemed to remember why she was in his office in the first place.
"Cady made her announcement."
Walt let his eyes drift to the door.
"I figured."
"Guess all we can do now is wait to see if someone else throws in."
He took a breath and released it.
"Yep."
Vic cocked her head.
"Is something wrong? You seem distracted."
Walt returned his eyes to hers.
"No. This is suddenly all very real."
"Your retirement."
"My retirement. Cady running."
He stopped and looked at the open office door.
"It's been real, Walt. Now, it's just known."
He rubbed his hands together and tried to make his mind focus. She was right. He was distracted. Before he could respond, Ruby appeared in his doorway behind Vic.
"Sorry to interrupt. Walter, the mayor is on the phone for you."
He felt resignation wrap around his gut like a snake. Vic dropped her face and he could see the smile that flitted across her features.
"Guess that's my cue."
Tapping his doorframe, she left him alone to answer the phone.
xxx
"Where's dad?"
Vic looked up to find Cady standing near her desk.
"He went over to see the mayor. You've caused quite a stir."
Cady smiled slightly.
"Is Crane upset?"
Vic leaned back in her chair.
"I highly doubt he's all that excited to find out another Longmire is running. He was probably doing cartwheels when he found out Walt was retiring. Now, he's facing the prospect of you becoming Sheriff. Upset is probably an understatement."
"Why take that out on dad?"
"He probably figures Walt had a hand in this."
"I guess he did."
"Yep."
Cady looked around the office. Ruby was at her desk. Otherwise, the place was quiet.
"Can I talk to you?"
"About?"
Cady shook her head.
"In private."
Vic hesitated before she stood up and started for Walt's empty office. There weren't many places in the building that afforded much in the way of privacy. Cady followed her in and Vic closed the door behind them, effectively shutting out the rest of the world temporarily.
"Something wrong?"
Cady sighed and sat down on the couch.
"I don't know."
Vic sat down in one of the guest chairs and waited. Cady clasped her hands in her lap and looked at them for a long moment before lifting her gaze.
"It's Zach."
That made sense.
"Having problems?"
"No, I don't know that we're in a place where we can actually have problems. But…if I win the election, I'll be his boss."
"You just now realizing that?"
"No. Course not. It's just…now that everyone knows…it all seems so real. I don't know…how this is going to work. He's…supportive. But…we're also just getting to know each other."
"You're worried about what gonna happens if this gets serious?"
"Yeah. How do you and dad do it?"
Vic pressed her lips together. That was a loaded question.
"Um…well…you have to be professional about it."
"I know that. It just…seems very complicated."
"It is."
Cady gave her a wry smile.
"You're not very comforting."
Vic nearly laughed.
"Yeah, not my thing. Look, there's no blueprint for this. It can bring up all kinds of shit for both of you. I think…the best thing you can do is just be honest with each other about what you're feeling. Don't…ignore issues that come up. Trust me on that. You know…you need to tell Walt."
Cady gave her a dubious look.
"It's not serious."
"It doesn't matter. Cady, nothing good comes from keeping secrets. He's on his way out. He's not gonna…take anything out on Zach. He likes Zach. I think Zach reminds him a little of himself. This isn't…anything like the situation with Branch."
Cady flinched visibly and Vic felt bad for bringing it up. But, she knew that was what fueled the hesitance that Cady seemed to feel. There were some similarities as both men worked for her father. Dating Branch was way the hell more complicated than Zach, though.
"I know."
"Do you?"
They were already too deep in this. She might as well go all in.
"Cady…it's not fair to expect me to mediate between you and Walt. You need to talk to him. You need to tell him. At some point, he'll either figure it out or there'll be a slip up and he'll find out some other way. Is that really what you want?"
"Find out what?"
Vic nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard Walt's voice. She could tell that Cady's reaction was nearly identical to her own. Both women had been so engrossed in the conversation, they hadn't heard Walt open the door that allowed him to bypass the main office.
Cady lurched up onto her feet.
"Dad! Where did you come from?"
"City Hall. What's going on?"
He hung up his hat and looked between them. It was clear he knew that he walked in on something. Vic stood up slowly. Cady didn't provide an answer right away and Vic wished she could rewind about two minutes to avoid all of this.
A slip up.
That was an on the nose prediction. She just didn't intend to be the one who actually slipped up.
"What will I find out?"
Vic took two steps towards the door.
"Um…I think you two should talk…"
She looked at Cady when she said and gave her an encouraging look. Walt's eyes left Cady and moved to her.
"Stay."
"This is between the two of you."
"It seems to be between the two of you."
She cringed internally. He didn't sound all that happy with the situation that was unfolding. Not that she blamed him. Here they were in his office while he was out talking about a topic that was clearly being kept from him. It reeked of problems all the way around. That was what she was worried about. Not just his situation with Cady. Also the fact that she was complicit in keeping this information from him after so much talk about honesty. She didn't want to lie to him at all. She just wanted Cady to be the one to tell him. This was something that shouldn't come from her.
Would Walt see it that way?
She highly doubted it.
Cady finally stepped into the conversation.
"I'm the one who dragged Vic into this. She didn't want to keep anything from you."
"So…she is? You both are? What is it?"
His voice was no nonsense.
"I…"
Cady faltered slightly before regaining her voice.
"Zach and I are seeing each other."
Walt looked at Cady for a long moment with an expression that was unreadable. The silence was deafening and Vic just wanted him to react. Even if it was a bad reaction.
"You…and Zach?"
Cady nodded.
"Yes. It's…it's nothing serious."
"Then, why didn't you tell me?"
The question was calm and not accusatory.
"Because…I didn't want you to be angry and take it out on him."
Walt considered her words.
"Should I be angry?"
"No."
He seemed to have forgotten about her and his entire focus was on Cady.
"You know that…if you're elected Sheriff, you'll be his boss."
"Yes."
"Are you prepared for that?"
"Not…really. But…we're working on it. Talking about it."
He nodded slowly.
"Even though…it's not serious?"
Cady's face flushed.
"It's not. I'm telling you the truth. But…he's been really great, dad. And supportive."
Walt's eyes held his daughter's.
"I'm sorry you didn't feel like you could tell me."
The words of Vic's own father echoed in her head and she wondered if every father and daughter relationship was this complicated.
"I'm sorry, too. For not saying something sooner."
"Is it going to become serious?"
"I don't know yet. We're just taking things one day at a time and trying not to make things any more complicated than they need to be."
"You know this could wind up very complicated?"
"I know."
Walt dipped his head slightly.
"Be careful."
That was all he said and it seemed done. Vic mused that he took that better than Cady thought. Or, even her. Then, he looked her way and his expression shifted.
"You knew?"
Before she could respond, Cady spoke up.
"I asked Vic not to tell you. I wanted to do it myself when I was ready. Don't be mad at her."
Walt glanced at Cady.
"Could you give us a minute?"
Cady looked like a deer caught in the headlights. She looked from Walt to Vic, unsure of what to do and clearly feeling responsible for the situation.
"Dad…"
Her voice held caution.
"Cady please."
Cady's blue eyes shifted to Vic's. All Vic could do was not a little. Cady seemed to deflate and she stepped away from them.
"Okay."
She started to leave the office, but stopped directly beside Walt. Extending her hand, she touched his wrist lightly in order to get his attention. She didn't speak until she had it.
"This…was all me. Vic wanted to tell you. She wanted me to tell you."
Walt didn't respond. Cady withdrew her hand and left the room. The door clicked closed behind her with a sense of foreboding finality. Once they were entirely alone, Vic exhaled a breath she didn't eve know she was holding until that second.
"Walt…"
"How did you find out?"
He cut her off.
"What?"
"How did you find out?"
He repeated the question in an even voice.
"They were…talking and I overheard them."
"Talking?"
"Yeah."
His gaze was intense.
"But?"
Vic sighed.
"I had my suspicions before."
"Based on?"
"Being around them."
He seemed to be contemplating what she was telling him. For some reason, as dumb as it sounded, his calmness rattled her.
"Walt…I didn't want to keep this from you. Cady's right. She asked me to."
"And…you agreed?"
"What was I supposed to do?"
He sighed.
"I don't know, Vic. I just know that I'm tired of secrets."
"It wasn't my secret to tell."
"But, it created dishonesty between you and me."
Vic pushed out a breath of frustration.
"I'm sorry for that."
She shifted her weight from one foot to the other.
"Walt…"
He gave her a long look, quiet again. God, it drove her crazy when he did that.
"If you're mad…just get it out."
He looked around the office.
"At work?"
Vic sighed and rubbed her face.
"Jesus, this is just what I was talking to Cady about?"
"What?"
"Working with someone that you're involved with. It's…fucking complicated."
"We knew it would be."
"Yeah."
She looked up into his face and wasn't sure she liked what she saw. He stood with only his fingers twitching down by his leg. Thinking. Always thinking.
"Walt?"
He was zoning out her. Getting lost inside of his own head. She had seen the look on his face enough times to know exactly what it meant. He blinked and seemed to resurface from his thoughts, his eyes gaining some level of clarity.
He still didn't say anything, though. Instead, he went back in the direction that he originally came and retrieved his hat. The unease in her was replaced by a feeling that bordered on panic. She swallowed in order to suppress it. He was right about one thing. They were at work and they certainly didn't need to have this out in his office.
"What're you doing?"
He placed his hat on his head not responding.
"Walt, don't do this. Don't shut down like this."
He turned to her, not making full eye contact.
"I'm not."
"Then…what're you doing?"
He looked down for a long moment, maybe gathering up his thoughts. He didn't seem outwardly angry. But, it was the silence in his manner that got to her. She knew how prone he was to force his feelings back in. That was always inevitably followed by an eruption at some point.
This was exactly what they had already talked about.
"You're mad."
She tried to force him to engage. The last thing she wanted him to do was simply walk away. That seemed like the worst possible outcome. Nothing would be served by it. She knew it. She knew that he knew it. Knowing it and practicing it were not the same thing.
She reached out and caught his arm.
"Don't."
She said the words with force and it got his attention. He lifted his face and their eyes collided. That was the way it felt for her, anyway. Like a physical collision without any actual physical contact.
For a second or two, they were standing in that damn alley again. Sometimes it always felt like they couldn't get out of that place no matter how hard they tried.
"Don't what?"
Her hand still gripped his arm, refusing to give in this time.
"Don't walk away from me. Please."