Ch. 21: love and regret
"That work?"
Vic shook her head as she looked down at her phone, her fingers steadily tapping on the screen.
"No, it's Michael."
Walt took a seat at the compact dining table in her RV, not bothering to try and fold his legs underneath it. Instead, he kept them out to the side.
"Everything okay?"
She looked up and set the phone on the counter.
"Yeah."
Vic handed him a paper plate and reached for a slice of pizza. Walt waited until she withdrew her arm before he grabbed one for himself. Vic sat down on the other side of the booth style seat, dropping her plate on the table.
"I didn't realize you were so handy with plumbing."
She took a bite and considered him. Walt shrugged and took a swallow from his can of Ranier.
"I built my cabin."
"I know you can build things. But…plumbing can be a pain in the ass."
"Yep."
He stretched his legs out and looked at how far they stretched across the width of her living space.
"Not as challenging when you have more space."
Vic smiled.
"Sorry."
She actually wasn't and Walt's expression told her that he was aware of that.
"You didn't have to help. I told you I could do it on my own."
Walt finished off his pizza and reach for another slice.
"Goes faster with two people."
"Do you have plans?"
"Not yet."
Walt said it with intention.
"Prospects?"
"Possibly."
Vic rolled her eyes at his attempt at humor.
"You better be talking about me."
He smiled as she reached for another slice of pizza, making a face as she did so.
"I miss real pizza."
"This is real."
Vic shook her head as she took a bite.
"It's the best in this town, but that's not saying much."
Walt looked at her for a moment.
"What else do you miss?"
"Besides the obvious?"
"Yeah."
She thought about it while she ate.
"I miss…being able to go out and do something any time of the day or night. Town like this shuts down. Except the casino."
"Have you been?"
"To the casino?"
He nodded.
"No. What would I do? Gamble with money that I don't have?"
She meant it as a joke, but he didn't smile.
"I'm working on getting you a raise. You and Ferg both."
She flapped her hand at him as she stood up and dumped her plate in the trash. Vic looked at the mostly eaten pizza.
"Want more?"
Walt shook his head.
"No, I'm done."
He tossed his own trash away and stood up. Vic closed the box and carried it over to the counter.
"I knew what the shitty salary was when I took the job."
Walt walked over to the couch and sat down with Vic taking the seat across from him, beer can in her hand.
"So…why did you take it if the pay is so bad?"
"Desperation."
She smiled when she said it.
"You could've gotten a job with the highway patrol. You have the qualifications."
She grew serious and leaned back.
"Do you know the kind of scrutiny you go through for a job like that? They would've called all of my references and then they wouldn't have hired me. You...small town department like that…not so much."
"You're overqualified for your job."
"Is that why you hired me?"
"You've seen what it's like trying to hire around here. When Ruby brought me your resume…I almost thought it was a joke. No one ever applied with that level of experience. I would have been an idiot to not hire you."
"You weren't worried about me trying to take your job?"
"It crossed my mind. But…you were worth the risk."
She smiled slightly.
"Good to know. So…are you getting…excited about your retirement now that it's all coming together?"
"I'm not sure excited is the word I would use. But…there's some anticipation."
"Worried about getting bored?"
She seemed to have hit on something when it took him some time to answer.
"I've worked my entire life."
"You can still work. Just on what you want. Seems to me that there's plenty to keep you busy with your cabin. And…think of all the books you can read."
He let out a low, vibrating laugh.
"You're right about one thing. I need to finish the cabin."
She bit her lip and pulled her legs up.
"Why haven't you?"
Another period of quiet passed between them.
"Buying land and building a cabin out of town was something that Martha and I talked about for years. Before that, we lived in town. We would drive around looking at land and making plans while we saved up for it. Ever since I was a kid, I've wanted my own land. Something that was…mine. We finally found this place and bought it. With my schedule, it wasn't always easy to find time to work on the cabin. I figured to get it up and livable thinking I could work on the finishes later on. With what she wanted."
He paused and his face held a faraway look.
"But…she got sick and everything was put on hold. When she died, I just didn't have it in me. I guess…thinking about finishing it…"
His words faded. Vic rose and leaned across the small space to him. Reaching out, she threaded her fingers through his hair, her palm coming to rest on his head.
"I get it."
Her voice came out soft. Walt tilted his head back and looked up at her.
"I think it's time."
A soft smile spread across her face.
"That's…progress."
He nodded, not responding verbally. Walt lifted one hand to her hip and his fingers curved around her. He slipped his hand up so that it went partially under the hem of her shirt, his hand finding her bare skin and resting there.
"Yeah."
Vic slipped her hand from his head down the side of his face as she straightened up so that she was standing directly in front of him. She brought her other hand up to his face so that she was cradling it. Leaning down, Vic kissed him softly. She felt Walt push up into the contact just as her phone buzzed on the counter.
Vic pulled back a little and sighed.
"Damn."
Dropping her hands from him, she walked over and snatched up the phone, a frown appearing on her face as she studied the screen. Walt stood up.
"You're not gonna answer it?"
"It's my brother. Thought it might be work."
She set the phone back down and turned to him.
"So…where were we?"
xxx
Walt didn't even realize he had dozed off until he was suddenly awake and feeling confused. For a minute, he didn't know what woke him up. He only knew that he was warm and his head felt fuzzy. Maybe he was sleeping harder than he realized. As the space around him came into focus, he noticed that Vic was sitting up with a disgruntled look on her face. She looked as disoriented as he felt. She must have been sleeping as well.
That was when he heard it. The familiar ring of her phone. Vic frowned as she pushed off the blanket and got up from the bed slowly. Walt sat up and rubbed his hands over his face. He looked at his watch and saw that it was after ten. No wonder they both felt so groggy. They must have been asleep for a while. He assumed it was a work related call. No one else would be calling this late.
Unless something was wrong.
He heard her walking through the RV and the phone stopped. She muttered a curse under her breath at having missed the call. She was coming back now. His eyes were adjusting to the dark room and he could just make out her form as she returned to the bed. Her phone lit up and cast an odd hue over her face.
Walt cleared his throat.
"Work?"
He knew if they called the cabin and the call went unanswered, the next call would be to Vic. She shook her head, a strange look slipping over her features.
"No. It's…my dad. Shit."
Vic slipped her bare legs back under the blanket in order to shield them from the cool air. Pushing some hair behind her ear, she slid her thumb over the screen
"He didn't leave a voicemail."
"Maybe something is wrong. Your brother called earlier."
Vic tapped her phone.
"Hope not."
He knew it was that very thought that pushed her into returning the call then and not waiting. He leaned back and waited as she brought the phone to her ear, knowing it was after midnight back east. Vic's face was pointed down, her eyes on some unseen point. He was so close to her that he could hear the phone ring on the other end.
"Vic!"
Victor Moretti answered with force and she jumped at the sudden volume that met her.
"Dad, what's going o…"
Her father cut in.
"What in the hell are you thinking?"
Her brow furrowed in confusion as she lifted her face.
"What are you talking about?"
"You're…seeing…that man!"
It was not a question. It was an accusation. Walt felt dread grip his insides as she looked his way, her eyes wide in obvious surprise.
"Dad…what?"
"Walt Longmire. You're involved with Walt Longmire?"
She bit down on her lip and her eyes shifted away.
"That's why you called me? What the hell? It's…it's midnight there."
"Don't change the subject, Vic. I want to hear this from you."
She licked her lips and inhaled.
"Yeah, it's the truth."
She pushed the words out.
"Christ, Vic. What in the hell is wrong with you?"
He could feel her tense beside him.
"Nothing is wrong with me. This isn't…any of your business."
"How is this not my business?"
The volume of both their voices was creeping up.
"Um…I'm grown."
"Vic, after everything that happened, you can't be…"
"I am not doing this."
Vic's tone took on a biting edge that cut through her father's anger. The elder Moretti went oddly quiet just as Vic was gaining traction.
"I am…an adult. I do not need your permission, or anyone else's, to see anyone. And if you're next question is why didn't I tell you, this is why."
"Vic…"
Her father tried a slightly calmer approach even though it sounded strained.
"No, dad, no. I am hanging up. If you want to call me tomorrow to talk about this like a rational person, feel free. If you're gonna call to yell at me…then don't bother."
Not giving him time to reply, she ended the call and tossed the phone onto the tiny table beside her with a nerve jarring clatter.
"Shit."
She breathed out the word as she flopped back on her pillow. Walt stayed upright, following her trek down. Vic brought both hands up and rubbed her face.
"I'm sorry."
She lifted her hands away from her face so that she could see him.
"It's not your fault. I suppose…"
She looked over at her phone.
"…that's why Michael called earlier."
"Do you think he told them?"
She shrugged.
"He said he wouldn't."
That was all the answer she offered.
"I'll call him tomorrow. This isn't how I wanted this to go."
"I know. Do you…want me to go?"
She gave him an odd look.
"Why would I? Do you want to leave?"
"No. I just…"
He sighed and shook his head.
"I'm sorry, Vic."
Vic lolled her head in his direction.
"You didn't do anything, Walt. I…knew that he would be pissed. That's why I was putting it off. Guess that's partly my fault."
He laid back down, turning onto his side.
"Well…at least you don't have to worry about it anymore."
She gave him an amused look and he thought she might actually laugh at him.
"Yeah right."
Vic blew out a breath through her lips.
"This oughta be a good time."
"Take the morning off and talk to him."
"That seems extreme."
"I just…want you to take your time. Talk to your dad. Your mom."
She grimaced.
"God, that's a whole other situation. First person I'm calling is my brother. He owes me a hell of an explanation."
Walt placed his hand on her stomach, his fingers playing with the material of the blanket. Her eyes found his in the darkness.
"Will you do something for me?"
She sounded so serious when she said it.
"Of course."
Her eyes shifted to his mouth and back to his eyes.
"Distract me."
xxx
"I can explain…"
That was how Michael answered the phone knowing that she was calling him. Vic didn't have the patience to let him finish. After a night with little sleep, her nerves were pulled about as tight as they could be without snapping.
"What in hell, Michael?"
He went silent momentarily before he spoke up again.
"I'm sorry."
He changed his tactics. She pushed out a breath of frustration.
"You told them?"
"No, I didn't."
"How do they know then?"
"If you'll stop yelling at me, I'll tell you."
Vic paused. She was pacing the center of her RV. At her brother's word, she stopped and closed her eyes. She took a lung filling breath and exhaled slowly.
"Okay, tell me how they found out."
"I was at the house yesterday and left my phone laying on the kitchen table. When you texted me, mom picked up my phone and looked at it."
"You don't have a code?"
"I do. But…it was still open."
Vic made a face that no one could see since she was alone.
"We weren't even talking about Walt."
"No. But, she scrolled."
Vic sighed.
"She snooped?"
"Pretty much."
"Jesus. Tell me what happened?"
"Just what I said. I went to the bathroom and when I came back, mom was holding my phone. She…asked me about what she was reading."
"Asked? I bet."
"Okay…"
He relented.
"…it was more of a confrontation. She read the texts, Vic. She knew. There wasn't any way for me to deny it."
"Right. So…she just had to go and tell dad."
"I asked her not to, Vic. I really did. I told her that it was your news to tell. But, you know how she is."
"Yeah."
"I'm…I'm sorry, Vic."
"Were you there when she told dad?"
"No. Had to get to work. I…tried to call and warn you. You didn't answer."
"Yeah, I was…busy. Shit."
She mumbled the word.
"I'm sorry."
She shook her head.
It's not your fault. Well…not all of it. Maybe don't trust your mother to be left alone with your phone."
"She's your mother, too."
Vic huffed.
"Thanks for the reminder."
"Was he really that mad?"
Vic looked out the window.
"He called me at midnight freaking the fuck out."
"What did you do?"
"I…told him to call me back when he was calm."
"Damn!"
She could almost see the smile on the face of her youngest brother through the phone. He cleared his throat.
"Look, Vic, I'm at work so…"
She took another breath and thought she needed to get to work herself.
"Right. I'll talk to you later."
"I fully expect you to."
The call ended and she tucked her phone into her pocket. She was already dressed for work and didn't feel as though the RV could contain the nervous energy pumping through her veins. She locked up the RV and slid into her truck. Giving the area one week, she pulled out.
Her ride to work was uneventful. She wished that her brain would shut up and stop running through a hundred different scenarios as to how this could play out. Her mind was so busy that it felt like no time at all before she pulled up in front of the converted library. Getting out, she went inside and took the steps up to the office. Inside, the office seemed quiet and calm. A sharp contrast to how she felt on the inside.
Ferg raised his eyes and looked at her as she pulled out her chair.
"Morning."
Vic sat down with a sigh.
"Morning."
His eyes stayed on her.
"Everything okay?"
Vic started to shuffle through the paperwork that littered her desk.
"Peachy."
He returned to his work, lowering his eyes. Vic looked over her shoulder to find the door to Walt's office closed.
"Walt in?"
Ferg kept his eyes down and shook his head.
"He went somewhere with Cady."
She leaned back in her chair and looked out the window. Figured. She started shuffling through the papers on her desk again when her phone buzzed from its spot on her desk. Her eyes shifted to the phone and she felt her stomach lurch.
It was her father. Something in her must have pulled Ferg's attention back to her as she wrapped her hand around the phone and stood up simultaneously. She met Ferg's eyes and gestured.
"I'm gonna…use Walt's office."
He didn't reply as she went through the door and closed it behind her as she answered.
"Hey, dad."
"Vic."
His voice sounded strained to her ears.
"You wanna talk?"
"Do you have time?"
She didn't bother sitting. She wouldn't stay that way for long. She was far too restless. Wound too tight.
"Yeah."
"Okay, you want to tell me what's going on?"
"There's…nothing to tell. You already know."
"You're…involved with Walt Longmire."
She wondered why he insisted on saying it like that.
"Yeah."
A pause.
"Is it…serious?"
"Yes."
Another pause.
"Did you plan on telling us about this…relationship?"
The way he said the last part almost sounded like bait. To her credit, she didn't take it.
"At some point."
"That makes me wonder."
"What?"
"If it's really serious, why would you not tell your family?"
"Um…because you called me last night acting like an insane person."
"Acting like a father."
He corrected her.
"Let's cut the crap, dad. You called me yelling. You didn't give me a chance to explain."
"Do you really blame me? That man…"
"Walt."
Yet another pause.
"What?"
"His name is Walt."
"He's not good for you, Vic."
"Isn't it up to me as to what or who is good for me?"
"You don't see when it comes to him, Vic. You…"
"Stop."
She injected just enough volume into her voice.
"Stop. I'm not…doing this with you."
"Vic."
Her name was a statement unto itself.
"I think you should…listen. To me. For once."
She half expected him to argue. He didn't.
"What do you want to say?"
"This…isn't something that happened spontaneously. I didn't…rush into this. I have thought about this. Probably more than I should. Walt…was there for me when I needed someone. He has been…patient with me. This is real, dad. You're not going to talk me out of it and I won't listen to you take shots at Walt just because of misinformation."
"Misinformation?"
"Yes! You've got your mind all made up over things that aren't even true."
"Such as?"
Vic faced Walt's desk with her back to the door.
"Such as…getting shot was my own fault. Walt didn't want me there and he told me as much. I went anyway. Behind his back. You can't keep saying that was his fault when it wasn't."
"Vic, you shouldn't have even been on the trail of a dangerous fugitive if you were pregnant. I can't imagine why a man would allow that, especially when it's his own child."
Vic closed her eyes.
"It wasn't…"
She forced down the heat in her throat, her voice softening.
"…the baby wasn't Walt's. He didn't even know until…right before I was shot. He wanted me to go somewhere safe and I made the choice to ignore him. That's on me. Not Walt. He tried to keep me safe."
"It wasn't his."
Naturally, that was where he got hung up.
"No. It wasn't. And…that's one thing I'm not getting into with you. All you need to know is that it wasn't Walt's. There wasn't even anything going on between us then. It's…"
Her voice broke off.
"I love him, dad. That's really all that you need to know."
"What does he say about that? Does he return your feelings?"
"Yes."
"So he says."
She rolled her eyes and turned, stopping in her tracks when she realized that Walt was standing in the doorway watching her.
xxx
He hadn't meant to eavesdrop. Not really.
He and Cady came in and he glanced around the office, his eyes falling on Ferg.
"Vic in yet?"
"Yeah, she's in your office using the phone."
Walt nodded and removed his hat as he crossed the floor and opened the door quietly. She was standing in front of his desk with her back to him and her face downcast. She wasn't talking loudly and he could tell that it was taking a great deal of effort to keep it that way. The set of her shoulders were tense.
He nearly backed out of the room until he heard her mention her pregnancy, her voice coming close to breaking. For some reason, he remained rooted where he was even thought this felt like an intrusion. He looked at the floor as she continued to talk.
Until she turned and his eyes lifted.
Her eyes met his and Walt started to take a step back. She shook her head at him.
"Look…I gotta go. I've said all there is to say. The rest is up to you."
She ended the call and lowered the phone to her side.
"Hey. Sorry. I just…needed somewhere quiet to talk?"
Walt hung up his hat.
"Your dad?"
"Yeah."
"Any better?"
She frowned as he walked around his desk.
"Not really. Well…he didn't yet. But…he's still pointing out how I'm ruining my life."
He stared at her across the desk, his hands dancing nervously over the surface.
"So…he thinks…"
His voice faltered. Vic licked her lips.
"How much did you hear?"
"I…"
His lack of an answer was answer enough.
"You heard that, huh?"
"Yeah."
She tapped her phone against her leg.
"He just…assumed."
Walt nodded slowly.
"Right."
Vic shifted uneasily.
"I'll just…"
She started out of his office and he was overcome by the desire to stop her.
"Vic."
She stopped and turned.
"Yeah."
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah."
"You sure?"
"Um…yeah. I'm…fine."
She didn't sound at all convincing. He came back around his desk so that it was no longer between them. She looked like she might back up, but held her ground as he came to a stop just in front of her. He lifted his hand to her shoulder.
"Vic…"
He saw the motion of her throat as she swallowed.
"I don't want to do this here. Okay?"
Walt nodded. That was fair.
"Sure."
He gave her shoulder a squeeze before his hand slipped away and she forced a smile onto her face.
"We'll talk later."
"Okay."
She broke off the eye contact as she turned and left his office. Walt took a seat behind his desk with a sigh, his mind drifting to the bits of her phone call that he heard. Victor Moretti assumed he was the father of her child. With what he suddenly knew about their relationship, it wasn't exactly a leap as much as it was a conclusion. It was one Walt might make himself given the same information. Her father didn't have a timeline, only certain facts. Her miscarriage wasn't all that long ago. It felt like forever. It wasn't.
Walt would be lying to say that hadn't crossed his mind. It was nearly impossible to keep those thoughts at bay sometimes. Had he been the father, things might have turned out differently. She might still be pregnant.
It was indescribably odd the way that thought made him feel. The rational side of his brain laughed at the idea. A father at his age. His only child was a grown woman. The idea of starting over was overwhelming. However, some small part of him couldn't help but wonder what that would be like. He supposed there was something natural in thinking about creating life with the person you love no matter how unlikely the circumstances. A child that was half him and half Vic would certainly be…something.
Walt pushed away the thoughts. This was one topic they hadn't broached. Not just one. There were actually quite a few things they hadn't talked about. But, this was a big one. It felt taboo to even think about it now. He didn't have any idea how Vic felt about the possibility of having more children. He wasn't sure he wanted to know.
Normally, the difference in their ages didn't bother him all that much. He thought about it, of course. Early on, it crossed his mind frequently. Now that they were actually doing this thing, the idea wasn't as daunting. In most areas of their lives, it didn't seem to be an issue.
Except maybe this one.
Having more children wasn't really something that he really gave much thought to outside of his rogue wonderings about Vic's pregnancy. He was beyond that point in his life. Vic was another matter. She was still young enough that she might want a family. For her, it was something that would remain tangible for a while longer.
He had no idea where she stood on it either.
He wasn't opposed to having the conversation as much as it scared him. The idea that they might want different things. Vic was still reluctant to engage in deep conversations that roamed too far into the future. So far, he was fine with that. At some point, there would be a tipping point.
He could file marriage under the same tab, although that idea was much more accessible in his mind. The old Walt would never have entertained the idea of remarrying. Let alone marrying someone he hadn't been with all that long. But, everything felt different with Vic than with any normal relationship he might have engaged in. They already knew each other so well before they ventured into this.
He didn't have any idea if she was interested in getting married again.
He wasn't truly sure how he felt about the idea.
After losing Martha, he wouldn't have even considered it. Back then, he never imagined he would ever be with another woman for the long term. Now, all of that had changed along with so much else in his life.
There was still so much for them to work through. They would also need to deal with the fallout from her family finding out about them. He obviously knew how her father felt. He was curious as to what her mother thought of the situation. The woman was an enigma to him. He met Victor Moretti on the man's previous trip out here. There was no real mystery there. The man hated him. He didn't hide it. Vic also talked about her brothers at length. Walt didn't know what the three remaining Moretti boys thought about this, but he knew they didn't have any real sway over Vic, so he didn't worry as much.
What about Lena Moretti?
Vic didn't talk about her mother all that much. From what he did know, they didn't get along. Her relationship with her mother seemed to be one of complications that he didn't particularly understand. His knowledge of mother-daughter relations was rooted in Cady and Martha. His wife and daughter were close. There were disagreements, of course. Never anything that threatened to rupture what they shared. The two of them frequently left him feeling somewhat left out.
He was aware that Vic didn't share that closeness with her mother. All he had to go on was what he was able to piece together from his conversations with Vic that included stories about her parents. There was an underlying strain there that Vic made no attempt to hide.
At some point, it seemed to be one more thing they would need to address.
That list seemed to be growing.
xxx
"Victoria."
It ground her nerves into nothing when her mother did that.
With Sean's exit from her life, no one called her Victoria on a daily basis. Her mother was the only one left who did it in any kind of a serious manner. Her brothers would do it to annoy her but that was different.
It wasn't just the use of her full name, it was the tone that came along with it. It was the exact same tone of voice her mother had used her entire life. She wasn't thirteen anymore. Not even close.
"Mom."
The word came out on a sigh.
"This is stressing your father out."
Vic rolled her eyes.
"Don't roll your eyes at me either."
"I didn't. I can't help how dad feels."
"You can certainly help that he found out from a text and not from you directly. It hurts him. It hurts me."
She highly doubted that.
"Don't you think it hurts me that my personal life is so open for commentary? Isn't dad always the one who wanted me to find someone stable and reliable?"
"Your boss?"
The words were wrapped up in disapproval.
"He won't be my boss for much longer. I've told you both that fifty times. He's retiring."
"I know. I heard you. Victoria…"
She gritted her teeth.
"…Walt seems like a fine man. I personally don't have an issue with the fact that he's older than you. But…"
Vic sat on the porch bench with her legs stretched out, her eyes on the dark landscape that surrounded her. With the aid of the moon, she could see the shadow of mountains in the distance. She was waiting for her mother to finish whatever thought she had just conjured. It was like she wrote this all down before she ever called. Dealing with her mother was always mentally exhausting.
"…the man lost his wife only a few years ago. Someone who seems like she was the love of his life. You are an attractive, young woman who is fresh off of a divorce."
"It's not that fresh, mom. Sean's been gone a while. And, Walt isn't exactly still pining. He's…made peace with that."
"Still, this…relationship seems to have developed at a time in your life when you need someone to care for you. I'm concerned that and his possible frame of mind may be contributing to this and that the longevity might not be there for him."
"Are you really suggesting that someone's got to be in a wrong frame of mind to want to be with me? Or that it's because he feels sorry for me?"
She shouldn't have sounded as incredulous as she did.
"Victoria…"
Vic raised her free hand and rubbed her eyes.
"Hey, mom, as much fun as this has been, I need to go."
"We're not done."
"We'll never be done. I'll talk to you later."
Her mother let out a heavy breath.
"Fine. I will call you tomorrow."
"Looking forward to it."
Vic stood up and carried her phone into the cabin. Walt was settled on the couch with a book that he didn't appear to be actually reading. He closed it as soon as she came in. Vic eyed him.
"Must be a fascinating book."
He set the book on the table.
"I've read it before."
Vic set her phone beside the book and dropped onto the seat next to him, turning and pulling her feet up on the couch. She inhaled and exhaled deeply as her head came to rest on the back of the couch. Walt reached out and touched her knee.
"How was it?"
Vic huffed out a humorless breath.
"Oh, you know. The usual. I think the best part was when she suggested that you're only with me because you feel sorry for me. Or that…there's just something wrong with you. She's never even met you yet she likes you better than me."
His eyes didn't waver from hers.
"I'm sure that's not true. And…for the record…neither of those is true either."
"I know."
"Can I ask you something?"
"What?"
"Why is there so much friction between you and your mom?"
Vic shrugged.
"I don't know. It's always been that way."
"Is it the same with your brothers?"
Vic shook her head.
"Not really. Michael is her favorite. The baby. The other three get along with her okay. Better than I do anyway. I've always gotten the impression she would've been fine not having a daughter."
He frowned.
"I don't believe that."
"That's your right, I guess. My dad says it's because we're too much alike. But…"
She scowled, letting him know how she felt about that assessment.
"…maybe I'm just not the daughter she wanted. I wasn't exactly willing to learn what she wanted to teach me."
"What was that?"
"You know…girl shit. Cooking, socializing. That kind of thing. She's the wife of the Chief of Detectives. She's got playing the part down to a science. She goes to all the events she required to attend on the arm of her husband, smiling and mixing it up. I hated doing that with Sean whenever his company had something. I mean…what is with men wanting to…show off their wives like she's some sort of prize?"
He smiled slightly with a knowing look.
"Men."
Vic smiled at him.
"Don't I know it."
His expression turned more somber and she knew something was coming.
"Talk to your dad again?"
"No. My mom called in his stead."
"When you talked to him earlier…he thinks the baby was mine."
It wasn't a question. Her eyes collided with his.
"Yes. I told him it wasn't. But…I don't know if he believes me."
"It's okay."
"No, it's not. It's not right for him to blame you for something that you didn't have anything to do with. He'll probably be relieved to find out I don't know who the father was. I'm sure that's what every father wants to hear from his daughter."
Her tone was dry.
"Vic…"
She waved a hand at him.
"Don't. It is what it is and I've got to own that. I…screwed up. In more ways than one."
He sighed, but he didn't argue with her. He didn't seem as though he were done.
"What is it?"
He hesitated.
"I just…I was curious how you felt about children?"
Her expression darkened slightly.
"How do you mean?"
"Do you want them?"
"I…"
Her voice stalled out.
"I…I…don't…know how to answer that. It's…not something I've really thought about. I mean I have. But…um…"
He must have recognized the conflict his question created. She could see him try to dismiss the question.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought this up."
Her brow furrowed.
"I just…um…"
She stopped and cleared her throat, trying to pull her thoughts into something coherent.
"Sean and I talked about it. But…the timing never seemed right. Guess that worked out for the best. When I found out I was pregnant…I freaked out. I wasn't…comfortable with the idea of being a parent. Not at first. But…the more I thought about it…the more it seemed…"
Her voice faded out again and her eyes shifted away.
"…I wanted her."
Her voice trembled just a little and Walt moved his hand to her knee.
"I know that you did."
She swallowed, but her mouth was dry. He squeezed her knee.
"What brought this up?"
He looked at for a bit before he answered.
"I want to be honest with you. But, I don't want to upset you."
Her chin dipped.
"Go ahead."
"The age difference doesn't really bother me now. But…uh…the fact is that you are still at an age where a family is a possibility."
She tilted her head.
"You're worried that I'll want kids?"
"Yeah."
She considered his answer.
"Is that a hard no for you?"
"I…"
"Tell me the truth."
"I just never pictured being a father again at my age."
"Well…I never pictured myself opting to stay in Durant when I was free to go anywhere. I know that's not the same thing. But…I would be lying to you if I told you that I know what I'll want in a year. Right now, I just can't think that far ahead."
"I understand."
His voice was gentle. When he spoke like that, it did things to her.
"You didn't really answer my question, though. Are kids a definite no?"
He stared at her, his mouth slightly open. Slowly, he shook his head.
"Nothing is definite."
She felt something in her loosen as the topic seemed to reach a natural end.
"Look at that. We had a serious conversation about the future."
Her attempt at lightening the mood worked. Walt smiled, the gesture reaching his eyes.
"How about that?"
A full blown smile worked across her face. It felt like a barrier that she needed to breach. That they needed to breach. Not the first. One of many. He looked like she was about to reply when her phone buzzed. Vic sat up and leaned over, grabbing it from the table. She looked at the screen.
"Call?"
Vic shook her head.
"Nope. Notification that the motion sensor on my camera went off."
She was already getting up as was Walt.
"It can do that?"
He motioned at her phone. Vic rolled her eyes.
"Yeah, it's magic like that. You coming?"
He was in motion and headed for his boots.
"Yep. Let's go."