Ch. 24: while I pondered

"So, you've had a night to sleep on your poor decisions. Feel like talking now?"

Walt took a seat behind his desk. Derek Gilbert sat in one of his guest chairs, his hands in his lap, eyes cast downward. The young man slowly picked at one of his cuticles with the opposite hand. His bravado from the day before seemed to have diminished substantially. A night in jail thinking about what might happen the next day tended to do that to people.

This kid was no exception.

It was impossible not to think of him as a kid. That's exactly what he was. He barely looked old enough to shave, the youthful features of his face still more than a little obvious. He didn't look as though he slept very much on the uncomfortable cot in the jail cell. When Walt arrived at work to relieve Ferg, Derek looked tired and unkempt. Walt escorted him to the bathroom and gave him breakfast from the Busy Bee. Jail time in Absaroka County could be a unique experience.

In front of Walt on the desk sat a thin folder with all that Ferg was able to pull up on Derek Gilbert the night before. It wasn't much. He didn't have a driver's license or any other government issued identification. He wasn't enrolled in any school nor had he been for several years. It was what Walt expected given the manner in which Derek was raised. Off the grid. Unaccounted for as much as possible.

There was a small criminal record, much of it juvenile. Nothing major. A handful of run-ins with the law that included vandalizing the outside of a post office, tipping over a drink machine, and a drunk and disorderly that landed him in jail for a few nights. Nothing jumped out at Walt as overly violent. That didn't mean he wasn't capable. Walt knew from Vic's police statement that it was Derek who took the baseball bat to Sean when the two of them happened upon the Gilbert compound unknowingly. Walt knew that it was Chance who handed the boy the bat. He wondered what kind of mental issues could stem from such experiences.

The fact was that made Sean the lucky one. While no one was lucky to be bludgeoned with a bat, the kid lacked the strength to do any real damage. Vic hadn't been so fortunate. It was Chance himself who used the bat on her and beat her into a concussive state. Just thinking about it created a sour feeling in his stomach.

He forced out the thoughts.

Vic leaned on the wall with her arms folded over her chest while Walt waited for a response. It was against his better judgement to have her in the room, but keeping her out didn't seem entirely possible if he were being honest with himself. Before they came in, he stepped in close to her and tipped his head to her ear.

"Don't make me regret this."

She hadn't responded verbally. Just met his eyes as something passed between them. An understanding. She planted back on the wall and crossed her arms. Derek came in, his eyes sliding over her. Walt kept a guiding hand on the narrow shoulders, pushing him into the empty chair sitting directly in front of Walt's desk.

Walt leaned back in his chair.

And waited.

"You have nothing on me."

"Breaking and entering multiple times isn't nothing, Derek."

Derek raised his eyes.

"I didn't take anything."

Walt clasped his hands together.

"We can still charge you. Your…history will be taken into account. How you beat Deputy Moretti's ex-husband with a bat. Watched your uncle beat her."

"That was…under duress. I didn't have a choice."

Walt kept his face a mask that didn't betray anything. The kid wasn't stupid and the effects of Chance Gilbert were apparent.

"Right. But…you're not a kid anymore. Not in the eyes of the law. So…why did you break in to the RV?"

Derek shrugged and remained quiet. Walt inhaled and released the breath in measure fashion. Some part of him wanted to grab the kid from the chair and back him into the wall. Considering recent events with his now dismissed lawsuit, that wasn't the best idea.

"Did your mother put you up to this?"

Something flashed through Derek's eyes before it was constrained.

"My mother has nothing to do with any of this."

"Doubtful."

The comment came from Vic, who spoke up for the first time. It pulled Derek's attention away from Walt and to Vic, his face reddening slightly.

"You don't know anything about my mother."

Vic huffed and dropped her arms, pushing off the wall.

"I know plenty about your mother starting with the fact that she's crazy."

As Vic spit out the words, she crossed part of the office. Derek twisted in his seat, his face flushed with anger.

"She was right about you. You're a…"

Walt was already up and moving around his desk before Derek was able to complete the thought.

"…bitch."

He rose as he released the last word with a fair amount of venom tinging the edges. Walt reached him, gripped his shirt, and shoved him back down.

"I will cuff you to this chair."

The words rumbled out of Walt and there was honest there. Derek seemed to see that and kept his seat even as he continued to engage Vic.

"You…you…fucked up my family."

Vic cocked her head to the side.

"What's the matter? Can't keep the asylum straight without your captain."

Walt kept a hand on Derek and turned to Vic.

"Stop."

There was firmness in his tone and she looked up at him for a long moment before she turned and left the office, closing the door behind her. Walt gave her enough time to clear the doorway before he hauled Derek up by his arm.

"Come on. Back in the cell."

Derek jerked at his arm.

"You can't keep me here."

"Sure, I can."

Walt led him from the room and back to the cell, his eyes scanning the room. He didn't see Vic. He didn't notice that the door marked Reading Room was closed. As soon as he had Derek in the cell and the door closed, he walked over and tapped on the door.

xxx

She knew she should have kept her mouth closed. It was just so hard when dealing with these people. Her initial encounter with them sent her life spinning out in a way that left her helpless to stop it like a train with no brakes.

She pushed the door closed behind her just a second or two before she heard Walt's office door open and the sound of scuffling feet. Vic stood in front of the sink and braced her hands on it, her eyes dropping to the drain in the center. She closed her eyes and took a breath.

There was a light knock on the door.

Vic released the breath she was holding and opened her eyes.

"Vic?"

She stared at her reflection in the mirror. His voice sounded distant, muffled somehow.

"Yeah?"

Her own voice sounded uneven and shaky. The door opened and he appeared behind her. She met his eyes in the mirror. Walt broke the contact and closed the door.

"I'm sorry."

The small bathroom didn't allow for much space. Not that he seemed to want space.

"You alright?"

"Yeah."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

Vic swallowed and turned to face him.

"I'm sorry."

His chin dipped slightly.

"No harm done."

He cleared his throat.

"Maybe you should…take some time."

"For what?"

Walt shifted his weight.

"This is bringing up some things for you. I can see it."

His voice was low and gentle.

"I can handle it."

"Like you just did?"

Her ears went hot and she opened her mouth to respond. Walt stepped in close to her. They were very nearly touching.

"I can't have you being a loose cannon. Not after everything that's happened recently."

She made a face.

"I'm not a…a loose cannon."

"Not yet."

His voice still held the gentle tone despite the firmness in it.

"It won't happen again."

He didn't look convinced.

"Vic…you are wound so tight right now, it wouldn't take much. Just…let me handle this for now."

"You…you…can't just send me home. I don't even have a home right now, Walt. Jesus."

The volume of her voice increased.

"Vic…"

"No. It's easy for you to stand there and pass judgement on me. You don't get it. They…"

She spit the word out.

"…have taken everything from me. Everything. I want to know why the fuck he keeps breaking into my trailer. I want to know what the fuck he's planning."

"You think I don't?"

He crowded her against the sink.

"I don't know, Walt. I do know that I'm sick of it. I thought that it was over. And, now we are back here all over again. You cannot expect me to sit on the sidelines and let you handle it."

"Do you trust me?"

"What?"

"Do you trust me?"

She sighed at the point she knew he was trying to make.

"Yes."

"Then, let me deal with this."

"So you what? You want to keep him safe from me?"

Walt shook his head.

"No. I want to keep you safe from yourself. Vic…"

He took a breath.

"…you scare me when you get like this."

The words held weight. She looked away, over his shoulder, focusing on nothing.

"It feels like you are turning this around on me. Like I'm somehow the bad guy here."

"That's not what I'm saying at all. But, you…you have made so much progress. Don't let him pull you back in. Don't let them pull you back. If you do, they win."

"It's not that simple."

"I know it's not. You…are my first priority. He's pushing your buttons and you're letting him. I can't have that. I won't."

There was a finality to the words.

"What do you want me to do?"

"Step back from this for now. Take a breath."

"I'm not…going home. You know I don't like being treated that way."

"Fair enough. Just…stay away from him. Okay?"

She shook her head.

"He's gonna walk out of here. If you charge him with breaking and entering, he'll go before a judge and they'll let him make bail. Then what? We just sit around and wait to see what his next move is?"

"Legally, there's no much else we can do. I'm gonna talk to him again. Alone. I will charge him regardless. But…you're not wrong about him getting out. But…you can get a restraining order. You have the grounds for it. If he comes around then, we can arrest him again and he won't get off so easily. In the meantime, you stay with me."

She pushed out a breath of frustration.

"Deal with it. That's what you're saying."

"No, I'm not. I'm saying that we have to be patient and let the law take its course. After my trial, Tucker Baggett's death…everyone is watching us. We can't afford to make mistakes on this. All that will do is give them ammunition."

Vic bit her lip.

"Fuck."

Walt tilted his head just a little closer to hers.

"This isn't like last time. I will keep you safe."

She could tell that he wanted her to believe that as much as he wanted to believe it.

"Right."

She lowered her eyes from his.

"Fine. We'll do this your way."

It didn't sound fine at all. But, she had little choice.

Walt seemed to relax a little and stepped back from her. She edged by him towards the door. Placing her hand on the knob, she stopped, and looked back his way. When their eyes met, there was some level of expectation on his face. He knew there was more she wanted to say. She could tell.

"But…he comes near me, or my home, and no law will save him."

With that, she pulled the door open and left the office.

xxx

Walt rubbed his hands over his face tiredly.

There were some days that working within the confines of the law was incredibly frustrating. This was turning out to be one of those days. He formally charged Derek Gilbert with breaking and entering. There was no way he was releasing him without any charges. The problem was that he knew that kid would make bail, and that the amount wouldn't be set all that high.

He hoped that Vic would take his advice and get a protective order against Gilbert. At least if he came around after that, there would be some legal action that they could take. The way that things currently stood, he knew that Derek would walk the next day. There was nothing that he could do about it and it went against every instinct that he had. They still didn't know why this young man suddenly showed up in their lives. Vic was adamant that his mother had something to do with it. Walt agreed with the assessment. The woman held the same deep convictions that her deceased husband and brother in law did and that made her dangerous. Her hatred for Vic ran deep and was well documented at this point.

Vic.

She seethed for the rest of the day. Not at him. Just at the circumstances. Walt knew that she wasn't angry with him. She was angry with the world. And herself. Nothing he said was going to change that. True to her word, she steered clear of Derek. Every so often, she would look over at the cell. She left the office for some time and he assumed she was out running radar or simply patrolling. Anything to keep her occupied and away from Derek Gilbert.

She wandered in later and told him that she was leaving for the day. He looked up with a nod and told her that he would be leaving soon. Ferg was coming in again to watch Gilbert while they went home after working all day.

He watched from his seat as Vic gathered up her things and left. He heard the door close behind her and rose slowly from his seat. Ferg would be in soon. Right now, he was alone in the office except for the prisoner. Walt walked out into the main office and looked out the window for a long, thoughtful moment. The sun was sinking down towards the horizon.

Turning away from the window, he ambled over towards the cell. Derek Gilbert sat on the cot looking at the opposite wall. He had clammed up and refused to budge on any questions that Walt brought to him so far. As Walt approached, he looked up.

Walt came to a stop in front of the cell.

"You'll be going in front of the judge tomorrow. Bail hearing."

"My family will pay it."

"I'm sure they will."

Walt continued to look at him. He could see that Derek was trying to look calm, but he was able to see behind the façade. The kid was lacking in that particular conviction. It was written in his eyes.

"I've advised Deputy Moretti to get a protective order against you. Do yo know what that means?"

There was no answer. Walt continued.

"It means that if you come within a certain distance of her, you'll wind up back in here and the charges will be more serious."

"That supposed to be some kind of threat?"

Walt shook his head.

"No, that's free advice."

Derek stood up and walked to the center of the cell.

"I know all about the two of you. What my mother has told me."

Walt considered the slight youth.

"You would do well to start thinking for yourself."

He huffed.

"Like your deputy does. She's your lap dog. We all know it."

Walt knew what he was trying to do and resisted the urge to reply the way that he really wanted to. He found himself doing a lot of resisting over this day. The night before. He knew the mask that he wore was much more effective than the one that he was being presented with.

"Like I said, you will likely be out of here tomorrow. That's between you and the courts. My job is to formally charge you and I've done that. The order should go in to affect by then. So…you should go home. Avoid town. Seems to be the way your family prefers it anyway. I see you around here, I'll arrest you."

Derek shrugged.

"That…sounded like a threat."

Walt could feel the thin thread that held his patience in place threatening to snap. He stepped in closer to the bars and peered in.

"No, Derek. That is simply the law. But…if you come near her, if you try and break into her home again, or if you try to hurt you, there's not a law on this earth that will protect you from me. And…in case you're curious, that's not a threat either. It's a promise."

Derek tried to keep his bravado in place. Walt could see where it faltered around the edges. He wasn't any where near as hard as he wanted them to believe. He might believe the things his mother and other family taught him. But, his hatred wasn't as deeply rooted. He didn't have the battle hardened exterior that made Chance so dangerous.

Derek's face paled slightly and Walt knew that his tone left nothing to the imagination. It was intentional and he gained some satisfaction in knowing that he achieved what it was that he wanted.

He hoped it was understood that he meant every word that he said.

Walt heard the door downstairs open and close and he knew it was Ferg.

He didn't leave any time for a response. He simply turned away and walked off, waiting for Ferg to come in and relieve him.

xxx

It felt odd seeing her RV parked back in Walt's yard.

Once again, she felt as though some invisible hand hit a reset button on her life. Vic bypassed the RV and went into the cabin. She didn't need anything out of it right now. It was simply a matter of protecting what was hers. She felt like she was running and that was a feeling at that she didn't like.

In the bedroom, she changed from her work clothes into pants and a t-shirt that were more comfortable. She wasn't sure how far behind her Walt would be. He was waiting for Ferg to come in and keep a watch over Derek Gilbert overnight. The fact that Gilbert would be free the next day didn't sit right with her. The idea left her feeling uneasy and tense. She was tired of those feelings and simply wanted some form of mental peace that lasted longer than five fucking minutes.

She looked in the refrigerator and pulled out a Ranier. She didn't have much appetite. Taking a seat on the couch, Vic let her head fall all the way back and took a long drink from the can. Two or three more and she might be able to actually relax. She took a deep breath and tried not to think about anything.

As thought that were even possible.

Unwillingly, her eyes opened and she lifted her head.

She thought she might have heard something.

Vic rolled her eyes at herself and shook her head. Her mind was getting the best of her. Dealing with all this shit was making her paranoid. She tried to settle back into the couch, she took another swallow of beer. God, her nerves were stretched so damn tight.

Her phone sat on the coffee table, the screen dark. Some part of her wanted to pick it up and call the office to see if Walt was still there. She refused to give in to the temptation. She didn't need a man to save her. She never had. What she needed was a grip. If she called him, there would be no real way to play down why. He was getting too good at reading her and he would know that something was going on.

Vic pushed out a breath and rearranged herself on the couch, pulling her legs up.

She very nearly laughed at how ridiculous she was being.

Until she heard another noise that sounded from outside.

That time she knew it wasn't her mind being overactive. She heard it and she knew she heard it. Vic sat up and set her can on the table. Leaving her phone where it was, she opted for her Glock, slipping it free of the holster and keeping her eyes on the door.

She wasn't was barefoot and her feet didn't make any noise at all when she crossed the floor. Through the window, she could see that it was almost entirely dark now. She adjusted her grip on the 9mm as she moved alongside the window and looked out. She didn't see anything. Not that her view was good from here.

Vic reached out with her free hand and turned the latch on the door. She slowly turned it in an attempt to not many any obvious sounds. Wrapping her hand around the wall, she turned the knob just as carefully before she pulled the door open with a sudden move.

No one was there. No one that she could see anyway.

Vic filled the doorway and peered out into the darkness. Nothing move and she didn't hear anything that was out of the ordinary. Taking one step out onto the porch, she turned her head this way and that, her eyes scanning for anything that might let her know what she heard. There wasn't anything, or anyone, there.

"Shit."

The word came out on a rattled breath. This was getting stupid.

In the distance, the darkness was broken by two small moons that made up headlights.

Walt.

Vic shook her head and closed the door, not locking it.

She replaced her gun in the holster and set it aside. She sat back down on the couch and leaned over. She listened as the Bronco pulled in and parked. The driver's side door opened, was followed by a pause, then closed. He crossed, the yard, took the steps, walked the planks of the porch, and opened the door.

Vic look his way.

There was a bag in his head. She recognized it as one that was used by the local hardware store. The deadbolt he told her that he would buy. Her eyes lingered on the bag as Walt closed the door behind him and hung up his hat.

"Hey."

She snapped out of her thoughts and met his eyes.

"Hey."

He held up the bag.

"New lock."

She didn't smile. There wasn't anything to smile about as far as she could see. She simply nodded in acceptance if what was happening here. Walt set the bag down as Vic mentally debated with herself about whether or not to tell him she thought she heard something.

Correction. She knew she heard it, she just didn't know what it was.

His eyes lingered on her and she thought he was about to ask her if she was okay.

"You hungry?"

She really wasn't. But, it would be something to occupy her. Them.

"Sure."

She pressed a smile onto her face. Walt nodded and walked towards the kitchen. Vic glanced at the door once before she followed after him.

"After dinner, I'll install the new lock."

Vic didn't comment on that, not fully trusting herself. Walt looked her way.

"What do you want to eat?"

She shrugged, trying make herself feel lighter than she currently did. Her mind was still flip flopping over what to tell him, or not.

"Doesn't matter."

His blue eyes sat on her momentarily before he looked away to consider the contents in his kitchen.

It was in that moment that she decided to keep it to herself.