I do not own anything in these stories. All rights go to the creator Chris Savino and the current showrunner, Michael Rubiner. This episode is a partial parody of the another SpongeBob episode "Pizza Delivery." The rights of that show go to the late great creator Stephen Hillenburg (R.I.P.) and its current showrunners Marc Ceccarrelli and Vincent Waller.
It was the evening of Thursday, June 19, 1986 at Gus' Games Grub. Lori has recently got herself another chore there while working with Jeffrey to help earn her some extra money, and it was to clean the tables and wash cups and dishes. Once in a while, the siblings got free pizza and Lori really loved working at the pizzeria. Right now, it was time to leave and Lori was cleaning one more table.
"Man, another great day at Gus' Games and Grub is about to come to a close" Lori said in happiness as she was wiping up the last few tables, "Can't wait to see what Bobby'll bring to the table for dinner back at home."
"Hurry up with those tables, Lorraine!" Jeffrey shouted out, "It's after closing and I'd like to go home!"
"Just give me a minute, Jeffrey," Lori replied, "I'm almost done with the job! Just be patient and we'll be fine!"
Just then, the phone in the restaurant rings which alarmed Lori.
"I've got it! I've got it!" Lori yelled as leapt for the phone but Jeffrey beat her to it.
"Hello?"
"Daw!" Lori fell on the floor in despair as the customer began to speak over the phone but...
"Sorry, sir, but we're closing early tonight..." Jeffrey tried to speak with the customer on the phone but suddenly, their boss, Gus Gamesngrub snatched the phone from him.
"Hello, there! "Gus' Games and Grub. How may we help you?" Gus said before the customer gives his order over the phone. "Pizza?" Suddenly, his eyes turn into dollar signs, "Mmmmmm. Of course we have pizza. There's plenty of pizza to go around here."
"Uh, Mr. Gamesngrub..." Jeffrey tried to explain.
"Don't you worry. Our delivery girl will bring the pizza right over to you in a jiffy," Gus finished speaking before he hung up on the phone so he can prep up a pizza box.
"But Mr. Gamesngrub, you gotta be kidding me! We don't deliver pizzas," Jeffrey complained before their boss came back to them with a box of pizza in his hand.
"We don't deliver, Jeffrey. But you do," Gus replied, giving Jeffrey the pizza box.
"D'oh, can't you just get Lori to do the delivery for me?" Jeffrey asked.
Gus then got an idea, "Godd idea, Jeffrey. Bring her with you," he suggested, "She'll deliver the pizza in no time at all!"
Lori came up to her co-worker with a big smile and a very ecstatic look on her face.
"This is going to be fun!" Lori said happily, "I finally get to be a pizza delivery girl! Bobby will be so happy to find out!"
"That's not what I had in mind!" Jeffrey responded as the manager left.
Now the two co-workers were outside the pizzeria as Lori was now doing a vehicle inspection on Vanzilla.
"Front end. Check." Lori said as she was checking the front of the van before she went over to the back. "Bumper. Check. Bumper sticker. Check."
It turns out that the bumper sticker was designed by Lori herself. On it, it said "Hardworking and Responsible." Lori went to check the tires as she continued, "Tire pressure. Check." Lori went into Vanzilla with Jeffrey waiting inside.
"Vehicle inspection is complete." Lori said to Jeffrey, "We're really making history now, Jeffrey. That lucky customer is gonna get their first pizza delivered to their house."
"Good. Then you drive," Jeffrey said.
"Don't worry about it," Lori responded, "I can drive Vanzilla just fine."
"Yeah! Yeah! We get that you can drive your stupid Vanzilla just fine!" Jeffrey informed her, "Besides, the customer is just around the corner. Just do what I do!"
"Wait, don't tell me! I can do it myself!" Lori corrected her co-worker."
"Back it up." Jeffrey told her.
"Okay. But first I have to..." Lori said to herself but...
"Back it up." Jeffrey told her again.
"Back the van up…" Lori still thought to herself.
"Back it up!" Jeffrey shouted.
Lori then came to her mind, "Okay, Jeffrey! I'm getting to it!"
"I mean Shift it to reverse, Lori!" Jeffrey stated.
"Oh yeah. Reverse." Lori looked at the shifting gears and the words translated into Spanish language (Parque, Manejar, Inversa, Neutral)
"Back it up, Lorraine!" Jeffrey yelled.
"Backing up! Backing up!" Lori yelled out as she shifted the gears to reverse, causing the van to drive backwards.
"No, Lori! Gimme the wheel! Gimme the wheel!" Jeffrey yelled as he tried to take the wheel from Lori. The van drove on some bumpy rocks and spun out of control.
The next morning, Friday, June 20, 1986, Lori and Jeffrey, still in Vanzilla, ended up far away from the town of Royal Woods, Michigan.
The van was still backing up as Lori kept saying, "Backing up. Backing up. Backing up. Backing up."
Suddenly, the van finally stopped.
"Finally!' Lori said in relief.
"Well, you backed up." Jeffrey said flatly. "And you know what? We're out of gas." Jeffrey got out of the van. "And you know what else? We're in the middle of nowhere!"
Lori got out of the van with the pizza. "And you know what else else, Jeffrey? I think the pizza's getting cold."
"And the pizza's getting cold?!" Jeffrey said dramatically. "No! The pizza's cold! Not the pizza! How could things get any worse?!"
Jeffrey goes to the back of Vanzilla and he gets angry and kicks it, causing the gas to go from empty to full and Vanzilla to drive off without them. Jeffrey and Lori stare at it until it's out of sight.
"Well, we can still deliver it on foot." Lori suggested, "That's what people used to do back in the old times."
"You're the boss, Lorraine," Jeffrey said in low disgust.
With no other option, the two workers decide to walk to the customer's house. Lori sings a song in happiness while Jeffrey is in pain from too much walking.
"Gus' Games and Grub pizza is the pizza for you and me! Gus' Games and Grub pizza is the pizza..."
"And my damned feet are killin' me," Jeffrey added.
Jeffrey trips over Lori who is lying on the ground for some reason before he gets back up.
"Lori, what are you doing?" Jeffrey asked her in arrogance.
"It's an old pioneer trick. I learned it in history class back in sixth grade when I started dating Bobby," Lori replied as she was feeling the dirt.
Jeffrey tried to explain, "Lori, this is no time for..."
"Shh!" Lori silenced her co-worker, "I think it's working."
"What is it?" Jeffrey said in concern.
Lori pulled Jeffrey over and pointed at something, "Truck! Sixteen wheels!"
A truck was nearby on the road coming their way. Lori gave Jeffrey the pizza box and she continued speaking, "Now I can show you how the pioneers hitchhiked."
Once Lori finished, she put on a pioneer hat and started performing a weird dance. Jeffrey even assisted her by playing a wooden spoon while the guy in the truck honked his horn.
"Crashin' frashin' break dancers!" The trucker screamed.
"He's stopping!" Jeffrey yelled out but then realized he wasn't stopping. He quickly moved Lori out of the road and the truck passed by. Luckily, they weren't harmed but ended up getting buried in dirt. Jeffrey narrowed his eyes at Lori who was smiling.
With that, the two co-workers continue with their delivery. It has now become very windy. Lori sings her pizza song again, but suddenly branch hits Jeffrey in the face and a bug lands in his mouth, causing him to spit it out.
"Gus' Games and Grub pizza is the pizza for you! Gus' Games and Grub is the pizza! Very t-asty!"
The wind proves to be too strong for Lori when she gets dragged by it, still holding onto the pizza.
"GRRRRRRGH! LORRAINE MARIE LOUD! WILL YOU LET GO OF THAT STUPID GODDAMNED PIZZA ALREADY?!" Jeffrey snapped.
"I can't, Jeffrey! It's for the customer!" Lori replied, still being dragged around.
"WHO THE HELL CARES ABOUT THE DAMN CUSTOMER?!" Jeffrey yelled.
"I do!" Lori shouted.
"WELL, I DON'T!"Jeffrey shouted.
Lori gasps as the wind suddenly stops. "Jeffrey!" She said in shock, "What in the living hell?!"
Afterwards, the wind resumes carrying Lori.
"LET GO OF THE PIZZA, LORRAINE!" Jeffrey yelled.
"No!" Lori shouted in response.
The wind causes Lori to run over Jeffrey.
"Ow!" Jeffrey groaned as he grabbed onto his co-worker's legs. Now the wind was dragging both co-workers.
"LORRAINE, LET GO OF THE PIZZA!" Jeffrey demanded Lori.
"No!" Lori shouted, "It's for the customer!"
"LORRAINE!" Jeffrey shouted to his co-worker.
Suddenly, there was a tornado nearby and they were headed towards it.
"LET GO OF THE GODDAMN PIZZA!" Jeffrey shouted
"No!" Lori shouted in response.
"Lori..." Jeffrey said before he looks down and sees that they are far off the ground, "Lori, hang on to the pizza, please!"
The tornado sucks them in from the bottom and they come out from the top. Once they come out from the top, they began to fall down from the sky. Luckily, Lori used the pizza like a parachute, so she floated safely to the ground while Jeffrey had a hard landing.
Jeffrey looked around and then asked, "Hey, where's the road?"
The road was nowhere to be seen. Just lots of dirt and also a tumbleweed.
"Where's the road? Ah! We're doomed!" Jeffrey started screaming, "'AHHHHH! HOW ARE WE EVER GOING TO GET HOME?! WHICH WAY IS THE ROAD?!"
Jeffrey was panicking as Lori remained calm. Lori walks over to a mossy rock.
"Land must be this way, Jeffrey," Lori told Jeffrey, pointing to her left.
"Don't tell me, Jethro. The pioneers?" Jeffrey assumed.
"Yep. My history teacher once told me, moss always points to civilization." Lori replied, pointing at the rock.
"That way? That way there?" Jeffrey asked, pointing to his left.
"Yep," Lori replied.
"So let me get this straight. You want us to go that way?" Jeffrey asked again.
"Yes, I do," Lori replied again.
"Well, then I'm going this way." Jeffrey finished as he started going in the opposite direction.
"Huh? Jeffrey, wait! I don't think..." Lori tried to confess.
"Trust me, Lori. I know where I'm going," Jeffrey assured her.
So the two workers went the other direction but it turned out there was another city located in the opposite direction. Lori continued to sing her pizza song once again.
"Gus' Games and Grub pizza is the pizza absolutivally!" Lori made some beatbox noises and butt shaking while walking backwards. Now Lori sang in a low voice. "Gus' Games n pizza is the pizza, yeah yeah, for you and ME!"
Soon, the two co-workers were getting tired. Lori's singing began to fade.
"Grub Pizza... for you. Games... Gus's Gamesh and the... Grub... pizza..."
Later, the two eventually stopped walking and laid on the ground exhausted.
Jeffrey lifted himself up and said to Lori, "Lori, we gotta eat something."
Lori lifted herself up and pulled out a wood stump and explained, "Well, I heard that in times of hardship, the pioneers would eat wood."
Jeffrey snatched the wood from Lori and immediately began chewing on it.
"No, Maybe it wasn't wood." Lori then corrected, causing Jeffrey to spit out the wood. "Maybe it was sand, or mud."
"GIVE ME THE PIZZA!" Jeffrey snapped.
"Wait, I remember now! It was wood!" Lori replied, holding the pizza close to her.
"Give it to me! Now!" Jeffrey yelled.
"No! It's for the customer," Lori said sternly to her co-worker, "Remember?!"
Jeffrey then regained his composure. "You're right, Lorraine. It's for the customer." Jeffrey said calmly.
"Yeah," Lori replied.
"Maybe we better check on the pizza to make sure it's okay," Jeffrey suggested.
"Um, well..." Lori said nervously.
"Just a little peek," Jeffrey said before he opened the box up a little.
"Ok, it's fine!" Lori said as she shut the box very quickly.
"No, wait. I think I saw something," Jeffrey said before he opened the box, then he realized the pizza was still in good shape, "Nope. I was wrong. It looks great. Sure is a fine looking pizza."
"Yeah," Lori said, "It's still looking good after all this time of us traveling of foot."
"What is that? Is that the cheese?" Jeffrey asked her.
"Yeah!" Lori replied, "Still nice and gooey and very greasy, too."
"And the pepperoni?" Jeffrey asked her again.
"Yeah!" Lori said as she was now getting hungry as she licked her lips, "Still very nice and crispy."
"Oh, looks good, doesn't it?" Jeffrey said devilishly.
Suddenly, Lori then came to her senses, "Wait a second. I know what you're trying to do, Jeffrey!" Lori said angrily before she immediately closes the box, "I'm not letting you eat this pizza! It's for the customer, remember?!"
"Lorraine! Give me the pizza!" Jeffrey demanded.
"No!" Lori shouted in response.
"Don't make me take it away from you, Lori!" Jeffrey yelled.
"Get away from me!" Lori yelled as she ran off with the pizza box, "I have to deliver it to the customer!"
Jeffrey chased after her and yelled, "GET BACK HERE, LORRAINE!"
"No!" Lori yelled back.
"Lori!" Jeffrey called for her.
"No!" Lori yelled back again.
"Lori!" Jeffrey called again.
"No!" Lori yelled back even louder.
Jeffrey got tired of running. Lori kept running until she bumped into her coworker and fell on the ground.
"I want that pizza and you're gonna give it to me one way or another!" Jeffrey demanded.
"Jeffrey, look! We're saved!" Lori said happily, looking and pointing in a direction.
"Yeah, we're saved. Now gimme some pizza!" Jeffrey demanded.
"No, really Jeffrey. We're saved! We're really saved! We're really saved!" Lori yelled happily, jumping up and down.
"Will you cut that out?" Jeffrey said in anger.
Lori then started singing a little song about them being saved to a conga beat, "Saved, saved, saved, saved! Saved, saved, saved, saved! Saved, saved, saved, saved, saved, saved!" Lori then started doing a conga dance, "Saved, saved, saved, saved, saved, saved! Saved, saved, saved, saved, saved, saved! Yeah, we are saved! We are really saved for real!"
Lori was so happy because she saw a boulder, "I just cannot believe we're saved after all this time!"
"That's just a stupid boulder!" Jeffrey said in arrogance.
"It's not just a boulder, Jeffrey," Lori teared up. "It's a rock!" Lori said happily as she sniffs and cries tears of joy, "A beautiful old rock! Pioneers used to ride these babies for miles! And it's in great shape!"
Once Lori finished, she climbed on top of the boulder.
"Lori, will you forget about the stupid pioneers?!" Jeffrey yelled angrily. "Have you ever noticed that there are none of them left? That's because they were lousy hitchhikers, ate wood, and took directions from moss! And now you're telling me that they could drive..."
Lori suddenly runs over Jeffrey with the boulder.
"Rocks?" Jeffrey said faintly before hegets back up and runs after his co-worker, "Hold on there, Jethro!"
Sometime later, the two arrive at the customer's house.
"I can't wait to see the look on the customer's face when we deliver the pizza." Lori said before shejumps down with the pizza and goes up to the door and rings the doorbell. She gives Jeffrey a thumbs up. A teenage girl, about the same age as Jeffrey, opens the door.
"Yes?" She answered.
"Good day to you, ma'am," Lori greeted her, "Your Gus' Games and Grub pizza is here!" Lori hands the teenager the box and she takes it.
"Wow. Thanks. I've been dying for one of these." The girl replied, but noticed something was missing with her order. "Wait a second... Lori, where's my drink?"
Lori then realized something, "Wait! Your... drink?"
"My drink! My Diet Pepsi!" the teenage girl demanded, "Don't tell me you forgot my drink!"
Lori looked in a notepad for an order of Diet Pepsi. "Look, ma'am. I'm going to be honest here. You didn't order a Diet Pepsi with your pizza in the first place so..."
"What?! How in the hell am I supposed to eat this pizza without my drink?" The teenager snapped and threw the pizza box in poor Lori's face, "Didn't you ever once think of the customer? You call yourself a delivery girl, Lorraine?! Well, I am not buying it!"
The angry customer slams the door causing Lori's expression to turn into sadness. Jeffrey had just witnessed the whole thing. Lori comes back with the pizza, looking like she's about to cry. Jeffrey comes down and tries to comfort his hardworking co-worker.
"Lori?" Jeffrey said in concern, "It's okay. Lori?"
Lori falls to the ground and begins crying her eyes out. Jeffrey felt bad for her, especially after all the big things that they went through to deliver this customer's pizza. In response, Jeffrey got angry and decided to deliver the pizza. Once he came to the customer's door, he angrily pounded and afterwards, the girl answered it.
"Another one?" The girl complained, "Look, I told your little partner I ain't paying for that damn pizza!"
"WELL, THIS ONE'S ON THE HOUSE!" Jeffrey yelled as he slammed the pizza box in the teenager's face, knocking her down. Jeffrey walked back to Lori, who was now surprised.
"Did... did she change her mind?" Lori asked in surprise.
"She sure did. She ate the whole thing in one bite," Jeffrey said satisfied.
"No drink?" Lori said in surprise.
"Nah. Now take me home," Jeffrey informed Lori as he jumped on the boulder.
Lori cheered up and got on the boulder along with Jeffrey. "Are you kidding? We have enough time to make it back to work."
With that, Lori drove the boulder and it instantly got to their workplace, Gus' Games and Grub.
"Work?" Jeffrey questioned as he started to feel pain in his legs, "Oh, my aching legs."
Meanwhile, back at the Loud House, Bobby arrived at the house and knocked on the door. Rita answered it and her husband Lynn Sr. also showed up to see who was there.
"Hi Bobby." Rita greeted, "Your girlfriend is not here right now. She's at her job."
"I know." Bobby replied, "But I saw Vanzilla driving by itself last night until it ran out of gas. I decided to fill it up and bring it back to you guys."
Bobby showed the parents the van, "Well, I gotta do some work for my mother so I'm leaving Luna in charge of the kids until dinnertime. See you guys later tonight."
With that, Bobby left in a tow truck as Rita and Lynn Sr. looked at each other in confusion, knowing that Luna was hired to look after Lincoln and Lily again.