I do not own anything in these stories. All rights go to the creator Chris Savino and the current showrunner, Michael Rubiner.
It was Saturday, July 19, 1986 in the Loud House as another summer day was passing by in Royal Woods.
Inside the house, Lola was inside her room waiting for a prize of hers to arrive.
"Well, well, well. I must have done something really big," Lola said to herself, "I wonder if they're gonna be here with my prize. Do I really think it's gonna be here immediately? No. It won't because I've got plenty of time before the prize arrives."
Suddenly, Lola hears something coming before she runs over to Lisa and Lily's window.
"It must be coming," Lola exclaimed but a blue car passes by causing her smile to fade away, "No. Not the blue car. Oh, there it is!" but an old man on a scooter passes by, "No. Not the scooter man, either. Wait. There it is!" but and old man returns to pick up the newspaper then leaves, "No. An old man picking up the newspaper won't help."
Lola then goes back to her room and lies back on her bed and turned to the viewers, "You know, this may be the prettiest day of my life! In case you're all wondering, you're actually looking at the grand prize winner of the Seed's Ultimate Mustard "Win a Limo for a Day" contest, which happens to be me for that matter," it turns out that Lola's pageant room was now covered in mustard smears and jars, "I had to eat my little pageant weight in some serious mustard. But it looks like I finally found myself the winning jar of a lifetime."
Suddenly, the limo blares a fancy horn and pulls up in front of the Loud House and Lola rushes outside as she was totally excited, "There it is. The limousine of a lifetime. And it's about to be mine at last."
Meanwhile, the other sisters along with Bobby, Lori, Lincoln, Lily, Ronnie Anne, Rita and Lynn Sr. all rush out of the house and the chauffeur opens up the door.
"Good morning, ma'am. I'm Kirby, your personal Chauffeur for the day," Kirby greeted.
"Count me in. I, Lola Celeste Loud, the ultimate beauty queen of Royal Woods, am prepared to hitch a ride in an all-famous beautiful limousine," Lola said happily as she hops in and her sisters and relatives rush Kirby and join the fun. Inside, the family is enjoying the accommodations the limo has to offer. Luna presses a button and releases a disco ball. Lincoln cannonballs into a fountain. Luna then lowers the partition window and sees her niece Lily.
"Peek-a-boo!" she raises it and lowers it again, "Peek-a-boo!"
Lana then opens up a cabinet full of mustard jars, "Whoa, this limo has a fancy mustard collection!" she shouted as she engulfs an entire jar's contents. Lynn is then seen holding a baseball mitt.
"Let's go pick up my team!" Lynn demanded.
"Let's go to the mall!" Leni demanded.
"How about we go to the arcade?!" Ronnie Anne suggested.
"I know a funeral procession we can ride in," Lucy demanded.
"Guys, guys, I know you're all excited about Lola's limousine," Lori informed the family.
"Why of course we are," Leni replied happily.
"Yeah, but why don't we let her enjoy it for a while first, then she'll come back and take us for a ride," Lincoln informed, "Right, Lola?'
"Sure! How about I pick you all up at 5:00 this afternoon and we can all go down to the Burpin' Burger for a little burping loud meal?" Lola replied.
"Really?" Bobby said in surprise.
"You really mean it, Lola?" Lincoln said in surprise.
"Are you really serious?" Ronnie Anne said in surprise.
"Lola. You really mean you're gonna get all of us a burpin' loud meal?" Lori said in surprise.
"Yep!" Lola replied and they all cheer in response and start singing the Burpin' Burger jingle.
"Hungry, y'all? Look no further! Come on down to Burpin' Burger, Grade B Beef and special spice, when it comes back up it's twice as nice!"
The whole family then burps in unison and the girls rush out while Kirby shields himself with the passenger door. She bids them good day, gets in the limo, and drives off. It drives back and Lola gives Lily to Luna. The limo then drives off.
"Your premium transportation experience begins now, ma'am," Kirby announced as he sets the timer.
"First off, what's all this "ma'am" stuff by the way? Name's Lola. The twin sister of Lana Loud," Lola introduced as Kirby takes off his driver's cap.
"Phew. Well, that's a load off. I'm used to driving around snobby guys," Kirby said to himself, "Hey, so where to? Anywhere you want."
"I know just the place where I can show off my pure pageant perfection," Lola explained.
Meanwhile, at Flip's Food and Fuel, Papa Wheelie is slurping up a Flippee with two straws.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Double straws? First one's free! You're payin' for that second one," Flip replied as Papa Wheelie pays up. Meanwhile, the big limousine drives up, "Sweet bimminy boo!" he pushes one of his clerks out of the way and fills up a Flippee cup, "One side! Important customer!" he then brings it to the limo and knocks on the window and Lola rolls it down, "Uh, welcome to Flip's! Uh, please enjoy a complimentary Flippee."
"Hello, Flip. I'm Lola Loud. Have you ever given me anything free before? Because I'm prepared to offer you something great for free and in fully beautiful condition suitable for habitation," Lola introduced.
"Well, you never had a limo before, young pageant princess," Flip said happily while the other patrons of the mini-mart and even the local news come by to check the limo.
"I'm here with a very important Limo rider named Lola Loud who is about to turn seven years old in late July along with her twin sister Lana Loud, has just rode into town," a female news reporter named Katherine Mulligan explained, "Tell us, Lola. How did you get to be so important, young pageant lady?"
Suddenly, at that moment, another limo blares its horn and pulls up. The rider rolls down his window and reveals to be the wealthy Tetherby who hosted that summer picnic earlier that summer.
"Say there, I like your limo. How did you obtain it, young lady?" Tetherby asked.
"It was obtained from a whole ton of mustard," Lola explained.
"Oh, you must be the young heir to the mustard fortune. What's your name?" Tetherby asked.
"Name's Lola Loud. The master of beauty pageants. But you may need to know that I'm not the..." Lola continued explaining.
"Yes, yes, I know!" Tetherby then suggested, "Lola I was just heading to my exclusive country club. Care to join me?"
Lola, in response, has a jolt of joy as Tetherby's limo drives off.
"You can count on me, sir! Hey, Kirby! Follow that limo! Don't fall behind!" Lola shouted happily before they arrive at the country club where Tetherby's butlers have arranged a staircase for him as Tetherby exits the limo and Lola hops out of hers, "Thanks, Kirby."
They march up to the door where Lola is astonished by what she sees inside.
"Welcome to my beloved mansion," Tetherby introduced as he snaps his finger and his butlers slip him and Lola into exclusive robes.
"Ooh, comfy. This is a real luxury for me," Lola commented.
"Of course. Now, shall we dine, old bean?" Tetherby asked.
"Sounds good to me, Mr. Tetherby. Bring out the good stuff," Lola said happily as the two of them have a nice meal together.
"Is there anything else I can get you, ma'am?" Bates asked.
"Oh, you don't need to call me "ma'am". You can call me Lola," Lola introduced and the butlers gasp and one of them faints and Bates drags her out of the room.
"See now, Loud. A girl in a limo doesn't act all chummy with this help. It only confused them," Tetherby replied as Lola nods in reason and the two of them burst open the door with their hats and canes, "Now, let's hit the town as limo people do," the limos drive off and come toward the afternoon rush where a police officer is conducting traffic and blows his whistle and holds up stop signs.
"Limo! Limo coming through!" the cop shouted as the limos pass while the other cars endure fender benders. Lola and Tetherby hit a golf course and Lola swings and her ball unfortunately lands in a water hazard.
"What?!" Lola said in shock as Tetherby orders Bates to fetch the ball out of it, which he does.
Later, they have a round of limo croquet and Lola pops her head out wearing nothing but a pink two-piece bikini and the wind in her face.
"Wow. I never knew life could be like this. This might possibly be the pinnacle of my vacation," Lola said happily.
"I say, it's a quarter to five, young girl. Shall we check on the markets before they close?" Tetherby suggested.
"That's okay. My mom usually does the shopping," suddenly, Lola realizes something in her mind, "Wait! A quarter to five? I'm supposed to pick up my family and take them to the Burpin' Burger!"
"The Burpin' Burger?" Tetherby asked.
"Yeah, you know. Grade B beef and special spice, when it comes back up, it's twice as nice," Lola said gleefully as she drinks a can of Diet Dr. Pepper and afterwards gives out a loud burp.
"Look here, Little Miss Loud. You're a girl in a limo. You can't be seen in some rat hole named after a bodily function, young lady. It's just not done," Tetherby replied.
"But my family! I need them! I kind of feel empty without them," Lola begged.
"We all have embarrassing relations. I have a second cousin who takes the bus to work. Can you imagine? The point is we can't let them hold us back. Now, come on, old bean!" Tetherby replied as he gets out a parachute, "It's time for limo sailing, little lady! No need to miss out on it!" he pulls the chord and sails upward, "WOO-HOO-HOO!" It is later revealing that they are actually sailing on Tetherbee's yacht, "THIS VIEW IS INCREDIBLE! OH, LOOK! DOLPHINS! I THINK I'LL RIDE ONE!"
Lola hesitates to follow Tetherby's actions but however, she immediately caves in.
"Wait for me, old broccoli stalk!" Lola shouted as she sails upward with her new limo buddy, "Wow! This is fun!"
Back at the Loud House, the whole family was impatiently waiting for Lola to come and pick them up and take them to the Burpin' Burger which is not gonna happen.
"Where's Lola?" Lincoln asked.
"Yeah, that girl should have been back by now with her limo in hand," Bobby explained.
"That dudette is really blowing her straw," Luna replied.
"I agree. What is going on inside Lola's brain and mind overall?" Lori said.
"Hmmm. She must be like some sort of rich and aristocratic child," Lana remarked.
Meanwhile, with Lord Tetherby and Lola...
"I've got a little surprise for you," Tetherby said as he hands Lola an invitation and she reads, "You're invited! Please RSVP! No riffraff allowed!" and he replied, "We're holding a gala at the club tonight to welcome our newest member: you, Lola Loud."
"Wow! Thanks Mr. Tetherby," Lola said happily.
"Don't mention it. I think you'll fit in splendidly, young girl. And remember, it's black tie only," Tetherby explained.
"No gowns or tiaras or anything?" Lola said in surprise.
"Oh, Little Miss Loud, you are a stitch!" Tetherby said happily.
Later, the limo arrives back at the Loud House and Lola sneaks inside only to be caught by her family, including Bobby and his daughter Ronnie Anne, and they were all displeased with her negligence.
"Sorry! Wrong house! Lola is going somewhere else," Lola said as she closes the door as she walks out. However, the entire family is somehow already outside right in front of her.
"Lola Celeste Loud!" Leni roared at Lola, "Where have you been?!"
"Yeah, just where do you think you're going, Little Miss Pageant Asshole?!" Lincoln asked bitterly.
"Yeah. You're not going anywhere until you give us answers!" Bobby said angrily.
"Yeah! We were standing on the curb for over three hours!" Lisa said angrily.
"The garbage guys really tried to take Lana to the dump!" Lori said angrily.
"Get inside with us, young lady! We need to have a talk!" Rita shouted angrily before they trudge Lola back into the house.
"Please, I'm really sorry, everybody. I had a busy day with the very wealthy Mr. Tetherby and I just couldn't get away," Lola begged them.
"I cannot believe you have been hanging out with some random rich guy all day instead of taking all of us to the Burpin' Burger, Lola!" Lincoln shouted angrily at Lola.
"And that's in addition to your bratty behavior, young lady!" Lynn Sr. yelled at Lola in agreement.
"You really need to be punished for this, Lola!" Ronnie Anne yelled at Lola in agreement.
"I highly agree with my children on this!" Lori agreed with anger.
"A girl in a limo can't be seen in some rat hole named after a bodily function. It's just not done," Lola echoed Tetherby's words.
"Look, Lola! You're not really a girl in a limo! All you are is just nothing but a bratty pageant-obsessed little bitch who ate a bunch of mustard!" Leni said very angrily and coldly, "As soon as your limo's gone, this little fantasy of yours is going bye-bye!"
"And after that, you're gonna be stuck doing many chores for the next twenty to thirty years if you keep up your bratty behavior towards the rest of the family!" Lynn Sr. said coldly to Lola.
"Oh, really? Is that why they're making me a member of their club tonight, hmmm?" Lola replied smugly, "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to put on my formal wear."
With that, Lola gets out a marker and holds up her princess dress.
"You'll see, Lola! You're no better than the rest of us!" Lori shouted from downstairs, "Especially my kids!"
"Yeah, Lola! Mom and Dad and Ronnie Anne are all watching you!" Lincoln shouted from downstairs before Lola shuts the door and does a few things.
Later, Lola is back in her limo, having painted all of her clothes black and white and a black tie painted on her dress.
"No better than the rest of us? He he. How dare she! I'm the important person and I've got important places to be! Speaking of which, why aren't we moving?" Lola asked before it reveals that Lola is actually in a traffic jam and she gets really angry, "What the? A Traffic Jam?! This is unacceptable. Can't you drive around this goddamned mess?!"
"There's nothing I can do. Sorry, Lola," Kirby replied.
"Don't call me Lola. It's Ma'am!" Lola shouted towards Kirby, "Tetherby was right. If you get too chummy with the help, it just confuses them. Let's keep this straight, Kirby. I'm the young lady in the limo. You're the man driving the limo!"
Once Kirby put his driver's cap back on, the timer goes off and Lola groans, "And what's all this beeping going on here?"
"It's the timer, ma'am. Your day is up. You're no longer a girl in a limo!" Kirby replied which angered Lola.
Lola then started to lose her mind and started roaring at Kirby, "What?! Are you kidding me?! That is ridiculous! I worked hard for that limousine and I'm not gonna lose it! So I demand you give me more time right now before I punch you in the face and knock some teeth out and downright kill you!"
But Kirby didn't listen to Lola and kicks her out of the limousine and drives off.
"Well, the joke's on you..." Lola said as she holds up a mustard jar, "...'cause I took some of your mustard! Well, it's just me on my own now. Just me and my imagination."
Now, it was getting late and Lola is now lost downtown while eating some of the mustard she took.
"Where the hell am I?" Lola asked to herself before she hears some vicious dogs snarling at her.
Luckily, Lola herself stays calm, "Nice puppies. You like spicy brown? I'm more of a classic yellow fan myself. Come on, doggies. Now play nice with me now. Come o..." but the dogs snarl again and she runs away screaming as the dogs give chase. Lola escapes by climbing a chain link fence and one of the dogs bites and grabs one of her flats, "The joke's on you! These aren't real dress shoes! They're flats I colored in with a marker!" and holds holds up said marker. But the dogs knock the fence around and falls while losing part of her princess dress and falls into a trash can. As she gets out, a truck drives by and splatters mud on her, "Well, guess what?! The joke's on you, 'cause, uh...oh, who am I kidding? The joke's actually on me," Lola said dejectedly and the dogs attack Lola again.
Eventually, she finally makes it to the mansion for the gala and knocks on the door.
"Hello? Tetherby? It's me, Lola Loud! I'm here for my gala!" Lola called before Tetherby slides a door window open to get a look at Lola's state.
"I say, Lola! What happened to you? And more importantly, what happened to your limo?" Tetherby asked.
"I don't have it anymore. It's no longer in my presence. Because my time ran out. And it was all thanks to that stupid dumb traffic jam downtown!" Lola explained angrily.
"Without a limo, you cannot possibly join the club! It just isn't done!" Tetherby explained.
"But old, uh...sprout...I thought I fit in splendidly. Especially the fact that I'm like a rich aristocratic girl. Tetherby, you have to listen to me!" Lola begged.
"You did fit in...when you had a limo! Now if you'll excuse me, I have about 800 Lola balloons to pop," Tetherby finished before he pops one and leaves to pop the remaining 799.
"But this isn't fair! I'm the pageant master! I'm supposed to be having all the great stuff here! I..." suddenly, her butlers come to the door and face Lola angrily, "Uh oh..." the butlers then kick Lola off Tetherby's property as she goes flying while she is screaming, "CURSE YOU, LORD TETHERBY!" and she then lands in another trash can, "Man, this stinks."
The local news van stops and its reporter comes in to report on the news.
"I'm here with the former limo rider. Tell us. how did a young girl who rose so high sink so low like the sinking RMS Titanic?" Katherine asked the sad and miserable Lola.
"Well, in addition to being a master at pageants, I really started to think that I was better than everybody and acted like a real jerk. But the truth is...I'm just a bratty kid who ate a bunch of mustard," Lola said as she started crying and the reporter then peels a Burpin' Burger napkin off Lola's head.
"Looks more like ketchup to this reporter," Katherine replied as she laughs.
"Wait a minute! Burpin' Burger? That's it! I know how to fix everything! Do you think I can hitch a ride?" Lola begged the reporter.
"In the news van? Nope, It just isn't done," Katherine responded before she got back into the news van.
The news van takes off without Lola. She falls over in the trash can and deeply sighs.
"How do I even begin to apologize to them? They were right. Maybe I am just a big jerk that ate a bunch of mustard jars to get that award I wanted as much as those pageant awards. I think it's time I make it up to Kirby and give them another ride," Lola said as she was about to cry before the dogs come back for another round, "Oh, come on! You guys like ketchup, too?" they chase Lola yet again and she started screaming again, "HOW IS THIS EVER GOING TO GET DONE?!"
Sunday, July 20, 1986
The next day, at the Loud House, the mustard limo's horn sounds.
"I wonder who it could be," Bobby said in concern.
"Hmmm, must be another limo out on the road," Lori replied in concern, while holding Lily.
"You know, Mom? I think I may think the same way, too," Ronnie Anne replied in concern.
"We should probably get a closer look," Lana explained before they then look out the window only to see Lola coming out of the limo.
"Oh, it's Lola and her fancy mustard limo," Lincoln responded in concern.
"I thought she only had it for a day! Are you sure we're going to put up with more of her bratty attitude?" Lynn replied in anger.
"The limo's not for me, Louds," Lola said sadly and her family looks surprised.
"What?" Lori said in surprise.
"Really?" Ronnie Anne said in surprise.
"It's not?" Lynn Sr. said in surprise.
"Well, who is it for then?" Rita asked in surprise.
"It's actually for you. I'm sorry about the way I acted yesterday," Lola said in a very sad mood, "I never should have broken my promise to take you guys to the Burpin' Burger."
"Hungry, y'all? Look no fur..." But Lisa silenced her.
"Quiet, Lana. It appears that she's groveling. Lola, Proceed!" Lisa explained.
"Right. So, I called Kirby and apologized. He's agreed to give us one more ride," Lola said softly and she high fives Kirby, "Now, I know you're probably so mad at me that you don't even want..." but suddenly, the girls cheerfully rush into the limo and trample Kirby and Lola, "I guess they forgive me."
"Why of course we forgive you, young girl," Lana said softly as she and Lola both hugged one another.
"Now. Off to the restaurant we go!" Lincoln and Ronnie Anne shouted as the limo goes to Burpin' Burger and takes the drive-thru.
"Welcome to Burpin' Burger. May I take your order?" The employee asked over the audio box.
"Fifteen burgers and fries, ma'am," Rita said to the audio box.
"Don't forget one for Kirby," Lola said softly.
"Thank you, ma'am. I mean, Lola," Kirby said happily to Lola.
"The only thing better than being a girl in a limo is being a family in a limo," Lola said to the viewers softly as everyone including her parents are enjoying their burgers when Tetherby's limo drives up to Lola's.
"I say, Lola, it's good to see your beautiful pageant butt back in a limo. What say you ditch the riffraff and pageants and come back to the club?" Tetherby said happily but his invitation surprises Lola as she darts his eyes at her family and Kirby who are afraid she'll leave them.
"You know what, Tetherby? How about some..." She and the family squirt Tetherby and his limo with mustard, "...mustard to go with that baloney!" the family all shouted in unison and they drive off, singing the Burpin' Burger jingle.
"Hungry, y'all? Look no further! Come on down to Burpin' Burger / Grade B Beef and special spice / When it comes back up, it's twice as nice!
The Louds and Santiagos all burp on cue.
"I bet you it can't beat mine," Lola said softly before she gets out a spare can of Diet Dr. Pepper and drank it right out of the can. Afterwards, she released a really loud belch which made everyone, including Kirby laugh.
"Well, that was a great idea to squirt mustard on that pompous jerk, Lols," Luna commented and the family laughed some more.
"Hey, Limo Girl. Where do you think we should go next?" Lana asked.
"Yeah, time isn't gonna take itself seriously," Lincoln replied.
"Hmm, let's see, I know what we should do next. Why don't we all go to the movies together?" Lola suggested softly and her family voiced their approval.
Two hours later everyone including Kirby, left the movie theater. However, she then decided it was time to go home but her family except Bobby, Lori, Lincoln, Ronnie Anne and Lily protested.
"Girls, Bobby, the kids and I are all with Lola, we have to get ready for our next evening out tomorrow night," Lori replied to them.
Later as they got back home to the Loud House.
"Thank you, Kirby, for the limo ride," the Loud kids chorused as they exited the limo outside their house.
"Oh, and by the way. Sorry about the mess we made back there," Lola said softly to Kirby.
That statement made Kirby look around at the back seat. He released a gulp as he saw ketchup and mustard spots, food crumbs including some French fries and fingerprints all over the windows.
"I need a vacation after this," Kirby said to himself as he drove away.
Meanwhile, Tetherby was leaving the country club after spending two hours playing chess with some friends. Sometime later an unconscious Tetherby opened his eyes and discovered he was lying in a hospital bed.
"What happened? Where am I? How did I get here?" Tetherby asked in fear.
"Your limo was involved in an accident just a few minutes before and some onlooker had called an ambulance," the nurse informed.
Later that night, the Loud parents were watching the news and were awaiting a news report about an accident that happened in Royal Woods that afternoon. The children were in their rooms except Lori, Bobby and Lincoln who were out on a date together. As Lola was walking down the stairs to get a glass of water, she heard something very interesting on the TV.
"It has been evident that Lord Bernard Tetherby was involved in a minor accident this evening at around 5:00 P.M. this evening," the reporter on TV explained causing Lola to erupt in shock and run down the rest of the stairs and stood behind the couch to listen to the report. The reporter then gave details on how the accident occurred, then ended with a simple statement, "Apparently, he appears to be in stable condition at the hospital and will be released in a couple of days."
Rita and Lynn Sr. then realize their daughter's presence in the room.
"Oh, Mom. Dad. You both must still be on the couch," Lola said softly.
"Oh hey, Lola, it's nice that you're actually interested in the watching the news," Rita replied.
"Hey, you can sit with us," Lynn Sr. replied.
"Sorry, Mom. But... I guess I have something important to do," Lola said softly before she went back upstairs to her room where she lied down on her beauty mattress and turned to the viewers, "It looks like I must have been through a lot within today and yesterday overall. At first, I thought that I was better than everybody else and acted like a real jerk. But really, I am just a bratty young girl who ate a bunch of mustard to win a limo. But in the end, I apologized to my family and they all forgave me for what I did and now Lord Tetherby himself is now in the hospital hopefully getting the comeuppance he deserves. Jeez, I need a rest from all of this mess so I can practice for another big pageant next week," Lola then lies her head back down on her pillows so she could get a rest.