Ch. 38: the truth in the silence
Vic leaned back in her chair and raised her hand to her mouth to cover a yawn.
Her head hurt. Her neck was sore. She was tired. She was pretty sure, based on the fact that everyone seemed to be giving her a wide berth, her mood must've reflected how not good she felt. Slowly, she turned her neck from side to side and let her eyes drift to the window. There wasn't much activity down on the street.
A blessing in disguise.
The week had been hell. The calmness they'd all been enjoying seemed to have left with Walt. The first week hadn't been so bad. There were more calls than normal, but nothing they couldn't handle without struggling. This week, though…why were there so many damn idiots in the world?
She swore every single call they had gotten was the result of something stupid. Bad choices. Bad driving. Sheer stupidity. Normally, it wouldn't have bothered her so much. But, with Cady so new to the job, she felt like she was being pulled into all directions at once. Not that it was Cady's fault. It wasn't. It was just…a lot.
Going home to an empty cabin at night wasn't exactly a comfort either. She was okay being by herself. She certainly spent plenty of time on her own over the years. Lately, though, she'd gotten accustomed to Walt being there most of the time. Now, the cabin was empty and it was just her wandering around and existing more than anything else. It was reminiscent of the period after Sean left and she was in the house by herself.
Depressing.
Lonely.
She missed Walt.
There was no way around that.
Honestly, the feeling was stronger than she anticipated.
Right now, all she wanted to do was go home and go to bed. She wasn't even sure she would bother with dinner. She felt too damn tired to eat. She just wanted a shower, comfortable clothes, and bed.
"I didn't know you were still here."
Vic tilted her head back to look up at Cady who had emerged from what was now her office. That was still a bizarre thought.
"Yep. I was just thinking about how much I don't want to be."
Cady gave her an understanding look.
"Rough week."
"Hellish as they come."
She tossed out a fake smile along with the comment.
"Then…why are you still here? Aren't you off?"
Vic nodded and pushed up from her chair.
"Yes. And…I am leaving. Do me a favor."
"What?"
"Is there's an emergency, don't call me."
Cady took the comment in stride and huffed out a laugh.
"No promises."
Vic shrugged.
"Had to try. You shouldn't stay much longer either. Get sleep while you can."
Cady nodded.
"I'm waiting for Zach. We're going to grab some dinner. Do…you want to join us?"
Vic shook her head.
"Thanks. But…no desire to be a third wheel."
"Have you heard from dad?"
"He texted me yesterday and said he should be home tomorrow afternoon."
Cady smiled wryly.
"That is such a weird thing to hear. That he texted. It's just…I still can't believe you convinced him to get a phone."
Vic merely smiled.
"That makes two of us. Good night."
"Night."
She was out the door and in her truck with swift steps. The ride out to the cabin was as monotonous as she expected. At least she was out of the office. She let her window down to enjoy the evening air that wasn't quite cold yet and inhaled deeply, willing herself to relax.
The cabin was dark when she pulled in except for the porch light she left on knowing she would likely be late getting in. The darkness out here could literally swallow you up if you weren't aware of it and ready. It was inky and complete.
Once inside, she locked the door behind herself and started shedding her clothes as she walked into the bathroom to shower. She waited until the water was good and hot before she stepped under the spray.
Damn, it felt good on her tired body.
She lingered longer than normal letting the hot water work the stress out of her muscles. It wasn't like there was someone else waiting for the shower. There was no one to care if she used all the hot water.
When she started to feel relaxed, she shut off the water, toweled off and dressed in cotton pants and a tank top. She combed her hair and then went to the kitchen mainly for something to drink. She pulled a beer from the refrigerator and did a sweep of the contents with her eyes. It was a good thing she wasn't really hungry. She would be making a meal of cereal otherwise.
Vic drank the can of beer while she stood in the kitchen, letting the alcohol pick up where the shower left off. Dropping the empty can in the trash, she padded into the bedroom, ignoring the living room altogether. She made quick work of drying her hair and brushing her teeth. Done, she flipped off the bathroom light and crawled into bed.
Once she was settled, she grabbed her phone from the nightstand and checked it. There were no missed calls, no messages, no texts. She sighed and set her alarm for the next morning. Vic set her phone down with a clatter and released a breath, letting what little tension was left in her flow out. She finally felt relaxed.
Rolling onto her side, she looked at the empty space where Walt would have been. She hoped he didn't encounter any delays. With a little luck, he would be home tomorrow and in bed with her that evening. That would certainly be a welcome change.
Her eyes were heavy and she didn't bother trying to fight the urge to close her eyes. She pressed her face down deeper into the pillow, tugged the blanket over her shoulder, and was asleep within minutes.
xxx
It wasn't the smartest thing he had ever done. But, he was familiar with the terrain and they were moving the slow. The horse kept a slow, careful pace as he navigated the trail back to the Bronco. He thought the horse might be as ready to get home as he was. He should have set up camp for one more night and started out first thing in the morning. But, he was so close at this point and from here on out, the ground was flat and shouldn't harbor many surprises. He trusted the horse's instincts.
Being out here had been cathartic for him. It seemed exactly what he needed in order to clean his head after his retirement. It was certainly better than puttering around the cabin with nothing of any substance to do. He had found a suitable place to open up the coffee can and release Lucian's ashes into nature the way the old Sheriff would have wanted.
Letting go felt freeing in a way. It wasn't unlike how he felt when he finally worked himself up to a place where he could let go of Martha. This time, it hadn't taken so long. He reckoned he was getting better at saying goodbye. Maybe that was easier when there was something else in your life that kept you from feeling alone.
Vic.
He wondered how work had gone the two weeks since he left. It was one of about a hundred thing he wanted to talk to her about once he was home and there was a chance for them to catch up. He was still adjusting to the idea of a phone, but had done as she asked and sent her a handful of texts while he was out here.
They spoke once.
He smiled at the thought. She called him not too long after he saddled the horse and rode away from the Bronco while there was still a decent signal. The phone felt unfamiliar in the pocket he pulled it from.
"Hey."
He knew it was her. He recognized her cell number.
"Hey, what're you doing?"
"Riding. I haven't been gone long."
She laughed. He could hear her.
"Yeah, I know. I just wanted to see if you would actually answer. You know…I've been waiting forever for this moment. Calling you on your own phone."
He smiled at her answer and her teasing.
"Do you feel fulfilled?"
Another laugh.
"Totally."
There was a pause before she spoke again.
"I'll let you go. See you in a couple of weeks."
"See you."
It was a short conversation. Also, a welcome one.
Two weeks later, he was ready to get home. His original plan was to camp tonight one last time and finish his ride out tomorrow. But, the closer he got, the more he convinced himself that he should just push on through and get back to the Bronco.
Walt kept his sense open even as he thought about how nice it would be to get home. He enjoyed camping. There was nothing quite like being out in nature under the open skies. He was at an age now where the idea of sleeping in his own bed was also a strong draw. Not to mention the fact that he was in need of a shower.
Under the big moon, he could see the whitish light glinting off the Bronco.
He'd been made it. Finally. The horse seemed to sense that this was the final leg of their journey and sped up his pace. Walt straightened up in the saddle, his mood improving substantially with the knowledge that he would be home soon.
Walt pulled the horse to a stop and dismounted. He carefully loaded the horse into the trailer and slid behind the wheel. Walt inhaled a breath as he pulled out and started the ride to the cabin. It was late and Vic would likely be in bed by now. He wondered what the odds were that he could get in, shower, and slip into bed without waking her up.
Not great.
He was reasonably sure she should forgive him if he woke her up.
Walt parked the Bronco and led the horse out. After giving the horse fresh water and some food, Walt left the animal to his own devices, grabbed his bag, and made his way inside. He set his bag by the door and left it. He would take care of it tomorrow. He slipped off his boots and left them near the bag.
Walt hung up his hat and tugged his shirt free of his pants as he walked into the bedroom. As he walked into the bedroom, he saw Vic on the bed. As much as he could see in the darkened bedroom anyway. He paused for a moment and smiled. His intentions to go directly into the bathroom derailed in a manner that should have been predictable.
Instead, he walked over to the bed and sat down, the mattress dipping. Reaching out his hand, he used his index finger to push some hair out of her face. She stirred at the move and Walt paused. Her eyes slowly opened and her nose scrunched up in a way he found adorable. Not that he would say that out loud to Vic. He could see the confusion in her face as her bleary eyes focused on him and realization dawned on her.
"Walt?"
He leaned in a little.
"Ssshhh."
"What're you doing here?"
Walt shrugged.
"Couldn't wait."
She slowly sat up and studied him, still obviously sleepy.
"You smell."
He vibrated with a laugh.
"I know. I'm gonna get a shower."
He left her on the bed and went into the bathroom. He made quick work of undressing and taking a shower. Under different circumstances, he might have lingered longer if he weren't so ready to be with her. Once he was done, he left the bathroom and half expected to find Vic asleep.
But, she was more awake than when he left her. Walt settled in beside her and she gave him a look that was loaded with expectation.
"What on earth, Walt."
He turned over on his side to face her.
"What?"
She gave him a look.
"I thought you were coming home tomorrow."
"Changed my mind."
She smiled slightly and leaned into him, pressing her mouth to his. She was warm and smelled good. Planting her hands on his chest, she pushed him away slightly and found his eyes.
"I have a million questions."
Walt shook his head.
"Not tonight."
He kissed her again.
xxx
"Is there any way I can convince you to call in to work?"
Vic opened her eyes to find him watching her with his head still on the pillow. Turning her head towards him, she looked for a moment before answering.
"You want me to call you daughter and tell her that I'm not coming in because you're back and we're going to make up for lost time by having sex all morning? Maybe all day. Because…that's what's going to happen if I don't go to work."
He was amused. That much was obvious. Vic yawned, her eyes watering a bit.
"How long have you been up?"
"Less than an hour?"
"How are you even functioning after you got in so late? You gotta be tired."
"I am. Trust me."
Vic studied him.
"So…you want to talk about your trip?"
"Don't you have to go to work?"
Vic twisted her head to look at the time.
"Um…since you woke me up early…I think I do. At least…some of it. So…how was it?"
He was quiet for a couple of minutes. She could see him thinking.
"It was…"
He paused again.
"…what I hoped it would be."
"Which was?"
He sighed and shifted, lifting his head from the pillow and propping it on his hand so that he was looking down at her.
"What I needed."
She frowned.
"That's vague."
"I know. It's hard to explain. I found a spot for Lucian. A nice spot he would have liked. I hope he does like it."
His tone took on a somber note and something in her chest tightened. She knew what he lost when Lucian passed. She understood how he felt about the old Sheriff in spite of everything that happened.
"I'm sure he does."
Vic shifted her hand and touched the side of his face while the moment stretched out between them. Walt took an audible breath and the mood changed, lightening up somewhat.
"So…did you find the treasure?"
She smiled when she asked the question. She honestly didn't know. It had been dark when he came in and she was asleep. Even later on when she got up to go to the bathroom, she didn't bother looking for his bag. She wasn't even sure what all he brought it with him.
He didn't respond, but there was something in his eyes, his face. A smile of sorts that wasn't overly obvious.
"You did."
It wasn't a question. Walt shrugged one shoulder.
"Maybe."
"You did."
She responded with the same answer, more than little sure that she was right. Walt's chin dipped and that was as close as he came to admitting that he located the fabled treasure that so many crowded into the wilderness looking for.
Leave it to Walt to put the clues together and actually find it.
"Lucian was close."
A hint of sadness came over him again and she knew he was thinking about Lucian again. The old man would've never stopped telling the story if he had actually found the treasure himself. The thought even brought a smile to her own face.
She could almost hear it in her head.
"Where is it?"
He gave her a sheepish look.
"I left it."
Vic's eyes widened and she stared at him as though he had lost his mind. She actually thought he might have.
"You…left it?"
"Yep. Seemed wrong to take it."
"Why? You found it fair and square."
He shrugged his shoulder.
"I know. But…aren't there some mysteries that shouldn't be solved?"
"Do you really think that?"
"Maybe."
"You do know that someone will find it. And…they're not gonna feel the way that you do."
"I know."
"So…why not just claim it?"
Again, he shrugged the shoulder that wasn't under him.
"It…just didn't feel right."
In an odd way, it seemed like a perfectly Walt thing to have done. She wasn't entirely as surprised as she should have been. Vic shook her head at him.
"You are so weird."
He smiled and it was so damn irresistible she couldn't help but lean into him and kiss him. Walt was receptive, of course. She kissed him again before she pulled away from him. Walt cleared his throat.
"I think…the trip itself was reward enough."
Vic rolled her eyes.
"Cheesy."
He huffed.
"Still true. It was…good to be out and not have to worry about anything except where I was gonna camp or what I was gonna eat for supper. There's something…freeing about it all."
Vic gave him a look she knew held a healthy dose of skepticism.
"I'll take your word for it."
Walt wasn't deterred by her lack of enthusiasm for nature and being out in the elements.
"You should try it with me sometime."
She cut her eyes at him.
"You know I'm not the outdoorsy type."
"I know. But…I still think you could appreciate it."
She wasn't convinced. But, it was hard to tell him that when he was looking at her the way that he was. To be honest, if someone had told her that she would be living the middle of nowhere Wyoming, she would have laughed her ass off. So, it was impossible to say that he was entirely wrong. She hated Absaroka County when she first moved here. Now, here she was not hating it anywhere near as much. As a matter of fact, she actually found that she was attached to it now. And, not just for the most obvious reason.
"Maybe."
That was about as much as she was willing to concede.
Walt seemed as though a load was lifted from him after their short talk. She assumed there was more to talk about. More to hear about his trip. There was no way they could cover two weeks in one conversation. Knowing Walt, it would take some time for the entire story to unravel.
Vic looked at the clock again.
"I should get up."
Walt nodded in understanding.
"Right."
Vic rolled off the bed and started around it for the bathroom, pausing to give Walt a look.
"Don't think this is over. You owe me the entire story."
With that, she went into the bathroom and closed the door behind her.
xxx
He could admit to himself that he was sore.
Spending as much time on horseback as he just had was bound to take a toll. Especially at his age. He hated that thought. He didn't even want it in his mind. But, that was the way of it. The truth was that he retired for more than just one reason.
There were times if wondered whether or not he was too old to continue on as Sheriff.
Walt pushed the thoughts out of his head. With Vic off to work with a promise that she would try and get off early, he was alone at the cabin. He started by having a second cup of coffee, the first being with Vic before she left. After that, he unpacked his bag, putting his large wad of dirty clothes into the wash. Once the laundry was going, he went into the bathroom and shaved, his face badly needed it.
Satisfied with his slightly more civilized appearance, he wiped off his face, slipped on his boot and hat, and walked outside.
It was a beautiful Wyoming day. Most of his trip was blessed with clear skies and comfortable temperatures. He was grateful for that. Poor weather could have made it much less enjoyable that it turned out to be.
Outside, he checked on the horse, who seemed to be in better condition than he was. No surprise there. The animal was built for it, adapted in ways that he was not.
It felt good to be back home at his own place. It felt strange not to be at work, but not necessarily in a bad way. He spent some time cleaning up the yard and doing outside chores. He even started chopping wood knowing that he could never overstock for the impending winter. Once the cold weather set in, they would go through firewood at a steady rate. It was never too soon to start beefing up his wood.
Once he had worked up a good sweat, he stacked up the wood and went inside, his stomach growling for breakfast he hadn't eaten and it was now pushing into lunch time. Inside, he hung up his hat, washed his hands, and scrambled some eggs.
As he was sitting down to eat, he heard the cell phone Vic had gotten him chirp. He recognized that it was the ring tone and no the text indicator. Rising, he went into the bedroom and carried the phone back to the table with him, sitting back down.
"Hello."
He knew that it was Vic.
"Hey, what're you doing?"
"Eating."
"Oh. We skipped breakfast, didn't we?"
"Yep. But…there were more pressing issues at hand."
"True."
She sounded like she was smiling. He could picture her sitting at her desk leaning back and looking casual as she tended to do.
"Anyway…I talked to your daughter…you know…my new boss. And, she said that barring some stupid emergency, I should be able to get out of here a little early. So…I thought we could have dinner."
"Have something in mind?"
She was quiet for a moment.
"Possibly."
"Possibly?"
He forked some eggs into his mouth and chewed.
"Yep. Can you pick me up here around four-thirty?"
That didn't seem all that early. He figured with Cady learning the ropes, they must be working longer days. Or, maybe Vic was the one working longer days. That wouldn't have surprised him knowing that she was the one who was primarily working with Cady and helping her figure things out.
"You don't want to come here first?"
"No. I can change here and leave my truck."
"Are you going to tell me where we're going?"
"Sure. Look, I've gotta run. I'll see you later."
He honestly couldn't tell if she really needed to go or if she just didn't want to tell him just then. Either way, her tone went from relaxed to slightly more businesslike.
"Okay."
Vic ended the call and he set the phone on the table beside him. It didn't escape his notice that she called the cell phone and not the land line. Encouraging him to carry it, no doubt. Walt finished his eggs and set the plate in the sink, leaving it to wash later on.
Walt stood in the living room trying to decide what he wanted to do next. There was certainly enough work to keep him busy for a while finishing up the still incomplete cabin. The difference now was that he wanted to do the work now. In the past, he never felt fully motivated. Along with other things, that was one more situation that was clearly changing.
He heard the sound of an engine and walked out to the porch to see a familiar truck bouncing over the dirt road.
Henry.
Walt waited where he was while Henry parked and approached the steps.
"You are home."
"Yep. Got in last night."
"How was your trip."
Henry came and joined him on the porch.
"How was it."
"Good. It was good. How did you know I was back?"
"I have my ways."
Walt shifted his feet.
"Stop by the office and talk to Vic."
Henry managed to keep a straight face.
"Yes."
Walt nodded.
"What brings you by?"
Henry turned so that he was facing the mountains in the distance and was quiet for a few minutes. Walt waited. There wasn't much else to do. There was no rushing Henry.
"I wanted to know how you are."
"Good."
Henry looked him over with the practiced eye of forty years of friendship.
"Good? That is all?"
Walt gave him a look.
"What are you looking for?"
Henry shifted his gaze back out to the landscape.
"Going out into the wilderness for two weeks is not a small thing. You do not do things without a reason. I am curious. What were those reasons?"
Walt let out a breath.
"I needed to think."
"About?"
Henry was an expert at extracting information, one of the few people he trusted implicitly for most of his life.
"Life."
"That is vague."
"That's what Vic said."
"You have talked about this with her?"
"Some."
"Just some. You are sharing your life with her. Should she not know everything."
Walt shook his head slightly.
"No one knows everything about anyone."
Henry's dark eyes held his.
"That is a fair assessment. Was she one of the things that you were thinking about?"
He invited that.
"Yes."
"Does she know that?"
"Probably. She's smart."
"She is. What was it you were thinking about where Vic is concerned?"
Walt thought about that question. It was a good one. One he'd brought up to himself numerous times during his trip.
"I love her."
Henry continued to look at him.
"That is not a new revelation."
"No, it's not."
Quiet passed between them. He and Henry were good at silence. Henry was good at waiting. Walt's eyes drop to the weathered boards of his porch. The toe of his boot pushes at one.
"Maybe…maybe I didn't realize how much."