Always Alone, Never Alone
"Remus…" a very quiet voice rang out; he looked up from the wards he had been putting on the door and windows to look at her.
"Yes?" He asked evenly, giving her his full attention.
She was sitting on the blanket covered floor, her hands in her lap, ever so often twitching. The look on her face nearly made him cry. It was a terrified strength that no one, especially not her, should ever have to experience. As he looked into her frightened blue eyes he saw her try to form a thought, but nothing seemed to be coming out.
He quickly checked to make sure the wards were fine and then walked over to her, kneeling down in front of her.
"Love, what's the matter?" He nudged placing a hand on top of hers.
"It will, will it…" she paused, "this will hurt." Slowly he nodded, his heart reaching out to her. "How exactly?" She asked scootching closer to him to rest her head up against him.
He sighed slightly and wrapped his arms around her, it was no use not telling her, she was soon going to find out for herself. "Your going to begin feeling warm all over, like your burning from the inside out, almost to the point that you willwant to burn from the inside, just so that the feeling will go away. But then the burning sensation will move, almost like its traveling though your very veins…until it reaches your joints. That's where the fire will stay until your bones start to crack and grow. That'll be the only thing you'll feel then…instead of feeling like something's crushing you it'll feel like something is trying to escape your skin. Really, I'm not even sure what skin turning to fur feels like, the pain of your bones cracking and reforming is more then I can handle…" They both were very quiet as his words sunk in. Tonks sniffled lightly and Remus held her closer. "Maybe it'll be different for you…being a metamorphamagi…" He said softly, beginning to stroke her brown hair.
She sniffed again, "doubt it, I can only do human shapes, which can be a bit uncomfortable trying to get taller, but…"
"It won't be like this." He said his hand stilling.
They went silent again. Tonks hand clenched against his threadbare robes, a racked sob shuddered from her throat and Remus gently ran his fingers through her brown locks again to calm her.
For him this was normal, or as close to normal as it could be. He'd been experiencing it for over twenty years; it was an odd feeling, having it seemingly new and daunting. Transforming was always terrifying, but after twenty-five years one gets accustomed to the fear; but it was new for her, making it new for him.
However, as he began to feel the starting effects of the moon on his skin he pressed her gently away. She looked up at him with frightened eyes, it nearly made him cling to her again, but he knew he couldn't.
"It won't do for us to be near each other when we…transform." She nodded, pulling away from him, the light in her blue eyes fading.
It was so cruel and sick, he thought, that the one time she truly needed him he wasn't able to be there.
Knowing he had little time, but not daring to leave her side without some comfort, he grabbed her shoulders and pressed his lips hard against hers, pressing his very soul into it before pulling away, eyes blazing with anger, fear, and tears. She looked up at him for a moment before slightly nodding, understanding.
Lightly squeezing her shoulders he got up, his knees popping he took a few good strides away. As he looked up into Tonks' dead eyes he felt the transformation take hold.
He tried to watch her, to at least give her strength through his eyes as he watched her begin to writhe in the agony of the change, but quite soon his own pain took hold, and the last thing he saw before he surrender to the enormous amount of pain was her collapse to the ground her mouth in a surprised, distressed 'o'.
The wolf raised his snout to the air and sniffed. There was a new smell, he remembered when there used to be a dog, and even further back when the dog was joined by a stag and a rat, but this was none of those, this was something different, something new.
He shook out his fur and the pain in his aching body and looked around. It was the same barn he always found himself in for quite a few months, but this time there was a strange creature lying on a red blanket.
It was trying to stand up but its body seemed weak and insecure, so by the time it would make some leeway it would collapse down on itself. Sniffing again he decided that it was no threat, nor food, so he calmly padded over to it.
As he strode over to the strange creature he leaned his mangy head down to sniff at it. When he did it growled tiredly and then looked up at him.
Their eyes caught, blue and gold clashing and something sparked in each of them. She, as he now knew it was defiantlya she, whined slightly and without a thought he lay down and nudged his head against hers.
As she got comfortable beside him suddenly her attractive brown-grey fur turned a vivid pink. He snorted but didn't move. Soon both their breathing evened out and they both drifted off to sleep the night away.