Author's Note: This story has sort of taken a life of it's own with some amazing funny twists coming up later. I had intended for Jude to experience some sort of tragedy in the story, probably not in the first three chapters, but hey I guess it just went there first. I wanted something that would cement friendships and family closer together and bring Jude and Tommy's relationship into a more intimate, mature play. I lost my own mother a year ago so I already understood the emotions, and it seemed the right place to go from there. I also have two sisters of my own and both my parents had been divorced and remarried by the time my mom passed so I can relate a lot to Jude. Now, what happens when everyone goes to L.A. What twists and turns are still left to come. I love all of you who have reviewed. Please keep reading, I promise it gets better. Will post again soon. Blowing kisses and winks—Angel422.

Something told me that I wasn't in the studio anymore, even with my eyes having been shut. I heard voices around me—whispering voices almost as if they were afraid that they would wake me up. I didn't move for fear that they would discover that I was conscious and I wasn't ready for that yet. I still needed to process what had happened—still needed to make myself understand the implications of what I had witnessed. I wanted to squirm, but I instinctively knew that I was being held by someone—cradled like a baby to its mother. My head rested on a wide chest and just from the scent, I knew it was Tommy that held me. Suddenly, I felt safe—tired, angry, completely undone—but safe. His hands were in my hair, and I could tell he was rubbing strands of it between his fingers while his other hand rested protectively against my back. I don't think I'll ever know if the grief just caught up with me then or if it was the unconscious comfort that Tommy was offering me but I suddenly found myself silently weeping. Tears ran hot down my cheeks leaving a burning trail as they went, and I knew when they started soaking into Tommy's shirt because his muscles tensed against my cheek. "Jude?" He whispered as he pulled me even tighter up against him. I didn't move. I didn't want to look at anyone yet. Tommy ran his hand over my back as he tried to get me to look at him, but I just stuffed my face against his chest and clenched my fingers as hard as I could into the fabric of his shirt. He shifted slightly since my legs were curled tightly against his hips and one of my kneecaps was cutting into his side. Subconsciously, the sneaking thought that this was probably the most intimate embrace I had ever shared with Tommy popped into my head only to be over-ridden by the knowledge of why we were sharing it.

"It's okay, Jude. I'm the only one here right now. We are at the hospital. Since the accident happened so early this morning, the authorities have been able to sort through some of the items found at the crash. They need the family members to identify some of the things. They contacted the studio and your mom and Sadie. We were closer. Kwest, Jamie, Kat, and SME are waiting for Victoria and Sadie outside. Jude?" I couldn't answer him. All I could do was shake and shudder with tremendous wracking sobs. Tommy sighed as he fiddled with my hair once again.

"It's okay to cry, Jude." He said softly. I looked mournfully up at him and narrowed my swollen eyes menacingly.

"That's easy for you to say." I cried back as I started pounding my fists against his chest. He winced at the contact, but he didn't pull away and he didn't try to stop me.

"It's okay to be angry too." He reiterated as I pounded him over and over again until I was too spent to do anything else. Hesitantly, I glanced up at him only to find him searching my face with his intense gaze. I shrugged as a few more tears slipped out of the corners of my eyes.

"It's okay." I said as much to myself as I did to him.

"I just needed to vent a moment." I confessed as he smiled sadly and leaned over to press a soft, comforting kiss onto my forehead. I closed my eyes at the gesture when suddenly the sound of a clicking camera caused me to snap to furious attention. Placing my nose against the curve of Tommy's neck, I inquired haltingly,

"The Paparazzi?" Even though I knew exactly that's who it was without even turning around. Tommy lowered his head so that his mouth settled next to my ear and every time he exhaled the press of air against my ear lobe caused me to shiver.

"We'll deal with that later, Jude. Your mom and Sadie just walked in. Are you ready to get back on your feet?" He whispered reassuringly. He didn't have to say anything else. Behind me, someone whispered "Jude?" tearfully, and I jumped up instantly into the arms of my mother, Victoria Harrison. She patted the back of my head like she used to do when I was a child and murmured 'shhhhhh' over and over again as she did. Another arm wrapped around me, and the scent of Sadie's perfume invaded my nostrils. Here we were, all three of the Sadie women, wrapped in each other's comfort letting our pain slide off of us into a place where we knew we could deal with it together. Behind us a throat cleared, and we turned to see a man in uniform standing behind us.

"We're ready for the families now." The man said as Victoria suddenly stood up straight and took both mine and Sadie's hands into her own almost as if she were creating a life line between us. Against the wall behind us, leaned everyone who had become like family to us willing to give what support they could. We marched into the room next to another family that I realized suddenly must be Yvette's so we weren't the only ones experiencing a loss in our lives at the moment. I smiled at them as we entered the room. There wasn't much privacy there as the back wall was a glass window that looked out into the hall where everyone we knew stood. But I don't think we really noticed. The authorities handed us a sealed bag that we opened carefully. Inside sat a singed photo, a wallet, some keys, and a ring. I knew instantly it was my father's. The photo was an older one we had made back when my hair used to be died red. I was cross-eyed in the photo with my mouth hanging slightly open in a laugh, Sadie had her eyes rolled up at me, and mom and dad were glancing at us fondly. I heard Sadie gasp as she saw it and a silent sob escaped her lips. I took her hand and squeezed it as we tucked his wallet, keys, and ring safely into mom's purse once we told the authorities that it did belong to Stuart Harrison. I separated myself from the group then and walked over to the back window staring but not really seeing anything. I leaned my head against the glass and sighed. A shadow fell across my face and I glanced up to see Tommy standing on the other side with his forehead pressed against the glass opposite me. He lifted his hand and splayed it onto the cool surface, and I lifted my and placed it over his. We just stood there a moment as tears glided down my skin. That's the thing about death. It opens up your eyes to life—to the people around you—causes you to grow in unimaginable ways.

The next couple of days were hard on us as we planned the funeral and dealt with family members and friends coming and going. This is the part where you just go numb for a little while to kind of get yourself through the whole thing. It really actually didn't hit me again until the burial. I watched as they threw the last mound of dirt over the surface before walking away. It was then that I took a small red rose, laid it upon the ground, and let my tears fertilize the soil.

A few days later

I walked into the studio ready to record again after letting myself have some time off. People stopped and stared as I walked by, but I just nodded to them and smiled as I sought out SME, Tommy and Kwest. We had an album to finish and an interview to plan for. Tommy quirked a brow as I walked into the room, and I smiled at him as I took a seat on a stool between him and Kwest. You would think that things that had happened between Tommy and I would have made us feel awkward around each other, but I think it only made us more comfortable in each other's presence. Weird.

"You guys ready to finish up that track we had trouble with the other day." I said brightly as Tommy looked at me suspiciously.

"Jude, are you sure you are ready to do that yet? We can put the album and the interview off for a while if you would like. The magazine has already agreed due to the circumstances." Tom said quietly. I just smiled and shook my head.

"Mom, Sades, and I are doing fine. We have grieved until we are parched from lack of water in our bodies. It's time we pick up our lives and keep going. Mom and Sadie agree with me. They've even decided to go to L.A. with us. Don't worry, it'll be fun." I said reassuringly. Strange how I was doing the reassuring now. Tom and Kwest both smiled and Kwest stood up, walked to the open door, and yelled for SME to get their butts in the studio. I laughed as I stood up to walk into the sound proof booth.

Please review. Will post more very soon. Smiles.