Whee! Another chapter!
Disclaimer: not mine
------------------------------------
It was beyond midnight when Duo returned to the safe house. It was still raining. He had sat on the forest floor for almost the entire day without food or water [unless you count the rain] asking pointless questions as to why Heero had betrayed him. Even though he had come to accept that his life was screwed up and he could never hold on to anything important, it still hurt. More so because he had thought that, for the first time, Heero was someone who would love him forever and Duo had trusted him implicitly to not let go. It just so happened that he was wrong once again in his wretched life. So there he was sitting on the wet ground surrounded by mud and grimy leaves, huddled in a shivering ball when he decided that he would stop hoping and expecting anything that might be worthwhile to come into his life and stay for good. Deciding to try and lessen his own pain and Quatre's, since the blond could basically feel everything he felt, the American had put up metal blocks and shut himself off from the pain, sending it to a little corner where it would be bottled up until he decided otherwise.
And now as he entered the safe house, soaked to the bone, though oddly enough he couldn't feel it, he found all the lights off, except for the fire in the living room. There was a couch directly in front of the fire and from behind, standing at the doorway, Duo could make out a head over the top of the couch. The person got up and walked around it, heading towards him and Duo could tell it was Wufei because of the short stature and the graceful stride. The Chinese pilot stood before him, onyx eyes glittering with…what? He couldn't tell.
"Duo?" The said pilot almost laughed out loud. How ironic it was, that this was the time when Wufei chose to address him with his first name. He took deep breaths, controlling his laughter. He knew where that would end up, down the hysterical road and the little bottomless pit that he liked to call 'nervous breakdown'.
"Is Quatre okay?" He whispered softly, once he was sure that he wouldn't be taking a trip down that road. The Chinese pilot gave a tight nod, wondering as to why Duo was not meeting his eyes.
"Hai. He's fine. After a while, the pain stopped. He's asleep on the couch." Wufei searched Duo's face for something, anything at all, but found his face completely devoid of emotion. "How about you? Are you okay?"
Duo gave no reply, his head turned towards the couch. Wufei tried again. "You haven't eaten all day. Quatre was worried. Do you want-" He was cut of by a sharp retort.
"I'm not hungry."
Hurt and taken aback, but determined to take care of his friend, Wufei bulled forward. "You have to eat, Duo…"
The Deathscythe pilot's head snapped up to look at him and Wufei hissed in shock. Those amethyst eyes, which were so full of life, were…dead. There was nothing in them. Not even pain. It was a seemingly endless void that threatened to swallow him whole.
"I said, I'm not hungry." The reply came tersely. Wufei ducked his head in submission. Violet eyes softened and one hand came up to rest on a bronze shoulder. Wufei looked up again, almost afraid to see those eyes again.
"I'll be fine. I'll eat in the morning." Wufei nodded and turned back towards the couch. Duo watched as the Chinese pilot lifted the blond Arabian into his arms, cradling him protectively and heading upstairs. The braided pilot shivered, wrapping his arms around himself. There was once a time when Heero used to cradle him like that.
…Not anymore.
Straightening his shoulders, he followed the couple upstairs once he was sure that they had disappeared into their own room. Lost in his thoughts, he moved to his and Heero's room and opened the door without realizing it. Once inside he looked up and his breath caught in his throat.
Through the window the moonlight filtered in, the clouds moving out of the way, highlighting two forms on the bed. Two naked forms on the bed. Duo backpedaled so fast that he thought he was going to fall. Closing the door, Duo paused in shock. Trowa was sleeping on his bed. HIS bed. Now where was he supposed to sleep for the night? There was no way he could go in, even to get his clothes without waking one or both of them up. And he was wet. He considered sleeping in Trowa's room that night, but the thought of having anything to do with him unleashed the pain. Sighing, he headed downstairs back to the living room.
He stood there staring at the fire for a while. It lit him up in an ethereal glow, making him the god of death in a very literal sense. Yeah, the fires of hell. Smirking slightly, he contemplated on what to do next. He figured he would be warmer without the wet clothes so stripping down to his boxers, he climbed onto the couch and pulled the afghan from the top, and wrapped his shivering form in it. Despite the fire's warmth, his skin felt chilled. Well, duh, considering it was about 30 degrees outside. Shutting his eyes, he tried to lose himself in oblivion but sleep evaded him.
Instead memories flooded him, of old, old times. The taunting voices of federation soldiers at the Maxwell church massacre. Them mocking him at an attempt to steal a mobile suit. But he had proved them wrong. But to what avail? They had destroyed the church either way and it was all his fault.
I'm so sorry, Sister Helen. He thought to himself. And from somewhere, a whisper of reassurance.
It's not your fault, Duo. Live. Live and be happy.
Tears began to well up in his eyes and he forced them back. Boys don't cry, kid Solo's voice whispered in his ear.
"You're right, Solo. Boys don't cry." He whispered even as tears escaped. Exhausted, he fell gratefully into oblivion.
-------------------------------------------
In the morning, Heero woke up in Trowa's arms. It surprised him a little when he found no 3 foot long braid tangled around him. He sighed snuggling back down, burrowing deeper into Trowa's warmth, when he suddenly wondered about where Duo must have slept that night. Gently untangling himself from Trowa's arms, he tugged on a pair of jeans and made his way to Trowa's room. Nope. No one there. Next he headed downstairs and made his way to the living room. There he was!
Walking over, he knelt quietly beside the couch and looked at the beautiful face. He flinched internally as he saw the tearstains on those pale cheeks. Duo never cried. Never. It had something to do with his childhood, Heero couldn't quite place it, but he never cried. Reaching towards the sleeping pilot, he stroked the braid, startled to find it damp. He touched his fingers to the other's cheek and hissed, finding it ice cold. Looking at the rest of him, Heero realized that Duo was clad only in a pair of boxers with a thin afghan covering him. He cringed when he understood that Duo couldn't come into his own room because of Trowa. So the American had resorted to freezing his ass off. Heero kicked himself mentally for being so insensitive. Of course Duo's pride wouldn't let him enter the room, he should have known that. He was still cursing himself when Duo showed signs of rousing.
Amethyst eyes blinked open lazily and found Heero's face hovering over him. Duo smiled softly and greeted him. "Morning, love."
Heero stiffened at the endearment and though he tried to keep it from showing, Duo noticed. Well, he also noticed that Heero wasn't giving him a good morning kiss and wondered why. Then everything came flooding back to him. Heero's confession, the forest, Trowa and Heero in his room, everything. He gasped and sat up, clutching the afghan close to him, in an attempt to cover his near-nakedness. Didn't see the point really, since Heero had seen him nude several times.
Heero winced at the sudden reaction and looked at duo. He cared for the pilot, didn't love him, not anymore, but still cared for him. Duo for his part was staring at the blanket on his lap.
"Sorry. Habit." He muttered.
"Duo…" Heero reached for the other pilot only to have him scoot away.
"Don't." The American said harshly.
"Please Duo…"
"No. No more hopes. No more dreams." Duo whispered cruelly. "One heartbreak is enough. No more."
Heero watched helplessly as Duo buried his face on his raised knees and wrapped his arms around himself. As of right now, there was nothing Heero could do. He got up and walked into the kitchen.
Duo sat there for a long time, not moving, cursing himself for making that slip. He is not your love anymore! A voice whispered harshly in his head. He's Trowa's. Remember? Your ex-best friend. Thoughts twisted and jumbled around in his mind as he fought to regain the cold demeanor from last night. Once he was control, he raised his head and listened to the sounds coming from the kitchen. Trowa and Heero. And Wufei. Which means Quatre must still be asleep. Getting up, he snuck upstairs to Heero's and Trowa's room, as it was now and pulled out his black duffel bag. Emptying the drawers of his clothes, the shelves of his cds, and his various magazines, he stuffed them all into his duffel bag and fairly ran out of the room. Next stop, bathroom, for a quick shower. When he was done, he dressed in black jeans and black t-shirt along with a gray sweater and stored his duffel bag in one of the bathroom shelves and headed on downstairs, pulling his hair into a damp braid.
Walking into the kitchen, he spotted the three pilots, though he only chose to greet one. "Hey Wufei. What's for breakfast?" He headed over to where Wufei was standing, and jumped up onto the counter beside him.
"Pancakes." Came the reply from Heero. Duo looked past Wufei to where Heero was standing. The Japanese pilot didn't look at him, seemingly engrossed with flipping pancakes. "Chocolate chip." He added slowly, looking at him now.
Well, Damn. That hit below the belt. Chocolate chip pancakes were Duo's favorite. But that wasn't going to make up a broken heart. He opened his mouth to refuse any, when Wufei's hand on his knee and his glare warned him. Duo had promised to eat breakfast. Duo and Wufei communicated silently, Duo begging Wufei to let him go and Wufei not relenting. Finally the Chinese pilot turned and piled pancakes on a plate and handed it to Duo, gesturing him to go sit at the dining table where Trowa was currently eating breakfast.
"I'm going to go wake up Quatre." Wufei glared at Duo to make him stay at the table and walked out of the kitchen. Duo for him part stared at his plate, eating slowly. Trowa tried to catch his eye, but Duo refused to look up. Heero came over to the table, pancakes in hand.
"More, Duo?" Duo looked at him blankly and realized that he had finished what was on his plate without even realizing it.
"No thank you." He got up plate in hand and walked over to the sink, washing it. At that time Quatre and Wufei entered the kitchen, and Duo found himself with an armful of blond.
"Duo! You're okay! Where were you?!? I was so worried. When did you get back?" A flurry of questions raced by him.
"Good morning, Quatre." Duo replied smiling at the blond head pillowed against his chest. "I'm okay. I just went out for a little while. I'm sorry I worried you." He didn't answer the last question.
Wufei was smiling at the scene that they made when something suddenly occurred to him and he frowned. "Duo? Where did you sleep last night?" Both Duo and Heero stiffened, as the American gently untangled himself from the blond's embrace.
"The couch." He muttered, but everyone heard him.
"You could have used my room." Trowa said softly. Duo turned to look at him disbelievingly.
"I do not go around sleeping in other people's beds without asking them." He said icily. Trowa winced. Duo moved to leave the kitchen when Trowa called out to him.
"Can't we talk about this? I thought we were friends."
Duo laughed hollowly and replied without turning. "Rule number two about friendship, Trowa – never go after your friend's lover. You gave up my friendship when you did that."
"And what would rule number one be?" Heero asked indifferently. This time Duo turned to give them both a pained look.
"Never betray their trust." Those quiet words echoed as Duo strode out of the kitchen, leaving 2 guilty pilots and 2 miserable ones.
-----------------------------------------
lemme know what you think?? Please? [points at review button]
Disclaimer: not mine
------------------------------------
It was beyond midnight when Duo returned to the safe house. It was still raining. He had sat on the forest floor for almost the entire day without food or water [unless you count the rain] asking pointless questions as to why Heero had betrayed him. Even though he had come to accept that his life was screwed up and he could never hold on to anything important, it still hurt. More so because he had thought that, for the first time, Heero was someone who would love him forever and Duo had trusted him implicitly to not let go. It just so happened that he was wrong once again in his wretched life. So there he was sitting on the wet ground surrounded by mud and grimy leaves, huddled in a shivering ball when he decided that he would stop hoping and expecting anything that might be worthwhile to come into his life and stay for good. Deciding to try and lessen his own pain and Quatre's, since the blond could basically feel everything he felt, the American had put up metal blocks and shut himself off from the pain, sending it to a little corner where it would be bottled up until he decided otherwise.
And now as he entered the safe house, soaked to the bone, though oddly enough he couldn't feel it, he found all the lights off, except for the fire in the living room. There was a couch directly in front of the fire and from behind, standing at the doorway, Duo could make out a head over the top of the couch. The person got up and walked around it, heading towards him and Duo could tell it was Wufei because of the short stature and the graceful stride. The Chinese pilot stood before him, onyx eyes glittering with…what? He couldn't tell.
"Duo?" The said pilot almost laughed out loud. How ironic it was, that this was the time when Wufei chose to address him with his first name. He took deep breaths, controlling his laughter. He knew where that would end up, down the hysterical road and the little bottomless pit that he liked to call 'nervous breakdown'.
"Is Quatre okay?" He whispered softly, once he was sure that he wouldn't be taking a trip down that road. The Chinese pilot gave a tight nod, wondering as to why Duo was not meeting his eyes.
"Hai. He's fine. After a while, the pain stopped. He's asleep on the couch." Wufei searched Duo's face for something, anything at all, but found his face completely devoid of emotion. "How about you? Are you okay?"
Duo gave no reply, his head turned towards the couch. Wufei tried again. "You haven't eaten all day. Quatre was worried. Do you want-" He was cut of by a sharp retort.
"I'm not hungry."
Hurt and taken aback, but determined to take care of his friend, Wufei bulled forward. "You have to eat, Duo…"
The Deathscythe pilot's head snapped up to look at him and Wufei hissed in shock. Those amethyst eyes, which were so full of life, were…dead. There was nothing in them. Not even pain. It was a seemingly endless void that threatened to swallow him whole.
"I said, I'm not hungry." The reply came tersely. Wufei ducked his head in submission. Violet eyes softened and one hand came up to rest on a bronze shoulder. Wufei looked up again, almost afraid to see those eyes again.
"I'll be fine. I'll eat in the morning." Wufei nodded and turned back towards the couch. Duo watched as the Chinese pilot lifted the blond Arabian into his arms, cradling him protectively and heading upstairs. The braided pilot shivered, wrapping his arms around himself. There was once a time when Heero used to cradle him like that.
…Not anymore.
Straightening his shoulders, he followed the couple upstairs once he was sure that they had disappeared into their own room. Lost in his thoughts, he moved to his and Heero's room and opened the door without realizing it. Once inside he looked up and his breath caught in his throat.
Through the window the moonlight filtered in, the clouds moving out of the way, highlighting two forms on the bed. Two naked forms on the bed. Duo backpedaled so fast that he thought he was going to fall. Closing the door, Duo paused in shock. Trowa was sleeping on his bed. HIS bed. Now where was he supposed to sleep for the night? There was no way he could go in, even to get his clothes without waking one or both of them up. And he was wet. He considered sleeping in Trowa's room that night, but the thought of having anything to do with him unleashed the pain. Sighing, he headed downstairs back to the living room.
He stood there staring at the fire for a while. It lit him up in an ethereal glow, making him the god of death in a very literal sense. Yeah, the fires of hell. Smirking slightly, he contemplated on what to do next. He figured he would be warmer without the wet clothes so stripping down to his boxers, he climbed onto the couch and pulled the afghan from the top, and wrapped his shivering form in it. Despite the fire's warmth, his skin felt chilled. Well, duh, considering it was about 30 degrees outside. Shutting his eyes, he tried to lose himself in oblivion but sleep evaded him.
Instead memories flooded him, of old, old times. The taunting voices of federation soldiers at the Maxwell church massacre. Them mocking him at an attempt to steal a mobile suit. But he had proved them wrong. But to what avail? They had destroyed the church either way and it was all his fault.
I'm so sorry, Sister Helen. He thought to himself. And from somewhere, a whisper of reassurance.
It's not your fault, Duo. Live. Live and be happy.
Tears began to well up in his eyes and he forced them back. Boys don't cry, kid Solo's voice whispered in his ear.
"You're right, Solo. Boys don't cry." He whispered even as tears escaped. Exhausted, he fell gratefully into oblivion.
-------------------------------------------
In the morning, Heero woke up in Trowa's arms. It surprised him a little when he found no 3 foot long braid tangled around him. He sighed snuggling back down, burrowing deeper into Trowa's warmth, when he suddenly wondered about where Duo must have slept that night. Gently untangling himself from Trowa's arms, he tugged on a pair of jeans and made his way to Trowa's room. Nope. No one there. Next he headed downstairs and made his way to the living room. There he was!
Walking over, he knelt quietly beside the couch and looked at the beautiful face. He flinched internally as he saw the tearstains on those pale cheeks. Duo never cried. Never. It had something to do with his childhood, Heero couldn't quite place it, but he never cried. Reaching towards the sleeping pilot, he stroked the braid, startled to find it damp. He touched his fingers to the other's cheek and hissed, finding it ice cold. Looking at the rest of him, Heero realized that Duo was clad only in a pair of boxers with a thin afghan covering him. He cringed when he understood that Duo couldn't come into his own room because of Trowa. So the American had resorted to freezing his ass off. Heero kicked himself mentally for being so insensitive. Of course Duo's pride wouldn't let him enter the room, he should have known that. He was still cursing himself when Duo showed signs of rousing.
Amethyst eyes blinked open lazily and found Heero's face hovering over him. Duo smiled softly and greeted him. "Morning, love."
Heero stiffened at the endearment and though he tried to keep it from showing, Duo noticed. Well, he also noticed that Heero wasn't giving him a good morning kiss and wondered why. Then everything came flooding back to him. Heero's confession, the forest, Trowa and Heero in his room, everything. He gasped and sat up, clutching the afghan close to him, in an attempt to cover his near-nakedness. Didn't see the point really, since Heero had seen him nude several times.
Heero winced at the sudden reaction and looked at duo. He cared for the pilot, didn't love him, not anymore, but still cared for him. Duo for his part was staring at the blanket on his lap.
"Sorry. Habit." He muttered.
"Duo…" Heero reached for the other pilot only to have him scoot away.
"Don't." The American said harshly.
"Please Duo…"
"No. No more hopes. No more dreams." Duo whispered cruelly. "One heartbreak is enough. No more."
Heero watched helplessly as Duo buried his face on his raised knees and wrapped his arms around himself. As of right now, there was nothing Heero could do. He got up and walked into the kitchen.
Duo sat there for a long time, not moving, cursing himself for making that slip. He is not your love anymore! A voice whispered harshly in his head. He's Trowa's. Remember? Your ex-best friend. Thoughts twisted and jumbled around in his mind as he fought to regain the cold demeanor from last night. Once he was control, he raised his head and listened to the sounds coming from the kitchen. Trowa and Heero. And Wufei. Which means Quatre must still be asleep. Getting up, he snuck upstairs to Heero's and Trowa's room, as it was now and pulled out his black duffel bag. Emptying the drawers of his clothes, the shelves of his cds, and his various magazines, he stuffed them all into his duffel bag and fairly ran out of the room. Next stop, bathroom, for a quick shower. When he was done, he dressed in black jeans and black t-shirt along with a gray sweater and stored his duffel bag in one of the bathroom shelves and headed on downstairs, pulling his hair into a damp braid.
Walking into the kitchen, he spotted the three pilots, though he only chose to greet one. "Hey Wufei. What's for breakfast?" He headed over to where Wufei was standing, and jumped up onto the counter beside him.
"Pancakes." Came the reply from Heero. Duo looked past Wufei to where Heero was standing. The Japanese pilot didn't look at him, seemingly engrossed with flipping pancakes. "Chocolate chip." He added slowly, looking at him now.
Well, Damn. That hit below the belt. Chocolate chip pancakes were Duo's favorite. But that wasn't going to make up a broken heart. He opened his mouth to refuse any, when Wufei's hand on his knee and his glare warned him. Duo had promised to eat breakfast. Duo and Wufei communicated silently, Duo begging Wufei to let him go and Wufei not relenting. Finally the Chinese pilot turned and piled pancakes on a plate and handed it to Duo, gesturing him to go sit at the dining table where Trowa was currently eating breakfast.
"I'm going to go wake up Quatre." Wufei glared at Duo to make him stay at the table and walked out of the kitchen. Duo for him part stared at his plate, eating slowly. Trowa tried to catch his eye, but Duo refused to look up. Heero came over to the table, pancakes in hand.
"More, Duo?" Duo looked at him blankly and realized that he had finished what was on his plate without even realizing it.
"No thank you." He got up plate in hand and walked over to the sink, washing it. At that time Quatre and Wufei entered the kitchen, and Duo found himself with an armful of blond.
"Duo! You're okay! Where were you?!? I was so worried. When did you get back?" A flurry of questions raced by him.
"Good morning, Quatre." Duo replied smiling at the blond head pillowed against his chest. "I'm okay. I just went out for a little while. I'm sorry I worried you." He didn't answer the last question.
Wufei was smiling at the scene that they made when something suddenly occurred to him and he frowned. "Duo? Where did you sleep last night?" Both Duo and Heero stiffened, as the American gently untangled himself from the blond's embrace.
"The couch." He muttered, but everyone heard him.
"You could have used my room." Trowa said softly. Duo turned to look at him disbelievingly.
"I do not go around sleeping in other people's beds without asking them." He said icily. Trowa winced. Duo moved to leave the kitchen when Trowa called out to him.
"Can't we talk about this? I thought we were friends."
Duo laughed hollowly and replied without turning. "Rule number two about friendship, Trowa – never go after your friend's lover. You gave up my friendship when you did that."
"And what would rule number one be?" Heero asked indifferently. This time Duo turned to give them both a pained look.
"Never betray their trust." Those quiet words echoed as Duo strode out of the kitchen, leaving 2 guilty pilots and 2 miserable ones.
-----------------------------------------
lemme know what you think?? Please? [points at review button]