"What was that back there?" Tommy asked mildly, although I could tell from the way he had his jaw clenched that he was trying very hard to hold his anger in check. And for some reason, just seeing that clamped jaw of his highly pissed me off. Behind me Patsy 'hrrumphed' as she leaned back against Jamie's shoulder and blew out an amused breathe.
"What did it look like to you, Prince? I'm sticking with the 'we came up with a new dance' line. You know—one, two, three, knockout. Almost like the two-step but with a lot more 'oomph.'" She said sarcastically as she slipped a piece of gum out of Jamie's pocket, loudly unwrapping it before popping it into her mouth. She started smacking on it as Spied tried laughing at Patsy's 'oh so comedic' description of tonight's events. But the only thing that even managed to come out of his mouth was a gasp. His jaw had to be hurting him like an S.O.B.. I glanced behind me and winced as I noticed the swelling that had started there. He gave me a thumbs up sign, although how he thought that gesture would make me feel any better is beyond me. Tommy sighed suddenly and I peered at him through the dark.
"You guys are just asking to leave L.A. early, aren't you, because displays like that are going to get you nothing but a one-way ticket home." He said as his cool began to slip revealing the anger he was trying so very hard to hide. I shook my head gently at him but wisely kept my mouth shut because I knew if I said anything now, I would regret the outburst later. Tom pulled up to the hotel, placed his hand on the headrest of the passenger seat, and turned so he could see everyone sitting in his backseat.
"Just go to bed, all of you." He stated wearily. "I'll just tell Darius that I couldn't find you." He finished with a grimace as everyone started exiting the car. I felt Tommy's hand grab my shoulder as if intending to stop me, but I shook it off, and looked at him with my eyes flashing.
"Save it, Tom. This isn't about them. We just went to a bar to unwind, nothing no one else would do. You just can't stand the idea of me being in trouble. Great! That's fine, but don't take it out on them!" I said angrily as I propelled myself out of the seat and slammed the door in his face, barely missing his fingers by an inch. I ran into the hotel blindly—looking only to change clothes and throw off my shoes. The room was empty when I entered it, and I sighed in relief over the turn of events because I just didn't have it in me to answer any of my family's questions. Hopping into the shower, I washed my hair and my face before drying off and throwing on an old pair of cut-off shorts and a sweatshirt, torn slightly at the neck so that it hung off the shoulder (my whole throwback to the 'Flashback' days). Brushing my hair back off my face, I grabbed a pair of flip-flops and walked out into the corridor. I was going in search of ice cream because nothing says 'sooth your troubled woes' more than a pint of Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough when I ran into Spiederman as he brushed by me heading in the same direction.
"Woe there!" I said quickly while grabbing him by the shoulder in order to pull him to a stop. Spied turned to face me and I gasped as I saw the bluish-black mark that covered almost the entire right side of his face.
"Geez, Spied! Did he break your jaw?" I asked with concern as he shook his head slowly.
"No, but it hurts like hell!" Spied said quickly rubbing it unconsciously with his hand. "I'm actually out looking for some ice. I don't think it'll be so bad if I can get some of the swelling down." He finished as I lifted up on my toes to look at the corner of his jaw more closely.
"I'll go with you, and we'll see what we can't do to make it, at least, feel better." I said as I followed him down to the end of the hall. Each corridor had a lounge at the end for all the guests to use stocked with ice, towels, and etc. so we didn't have all that far to walk. Spied ambled over to the low counter near the sink and climbed up while I filled a plastic cup to the brim with ice. Digging through the bag I had remembered to sling over my shoulder when I left my room, I also managed to come up with a bottle of aspirin and some hand sanitizer. Opening the refrigerator, I looked around until I saw a bottle of ginger ale, which I then grabbed and laid on top of my odd collection of knick-knacks. Spied raised his brows at me as I strolled up to him, stopping only long enough to place the items on the counter next to him. Handing him the bottle of ginger ale, I pointed at it and then at the sink before replying,
"Rinse your mouth with that and then spit it out." He complied with my orders and winced as the carbonated beverage bubbled in his mouth. I just smiled at him as he spit before lifting the towel off my shoulder in order to wipe his mouth.
"That hurt, Jude. I really hope there was a point to that and I so freakin' hope that you are not wearing a bra under that sweatshirt." He said warmly as he let his head droop naturally so he could have a closer look at my chest. I smacked him on the hip playfully and lifted his chin up with my finger.
"Open up pervert. I want to make sure that man didn't do any serious damage to that mouth of yours. God knows, you'd expire if you couldn't use it. The ginger ale just loosens some of the blood and cleans the abrasions." I said firmly as I tried to force his mouth open. He threw me a strange look and I shrugged.
"What? Just because I am not good at science does not mean I have no experience with first aid. As many scrapes as Jamie, Kat, and I used to get into, I know all the home remedies by now." I said reassuringly as I leaned forward to gaze at the teeth situated on his right jawbone. Putting my finger in his mouth, I jiggled a tooth near the back that looked slightly loose. Sure enough, it popped right out into my hand.
"Well, there you go. You even have a souvenir to take home with you." I said with a chuckle before dropping the tooth into the palm of his hand and wiping my fingers off with the hand sanitizer. Taking the towel, I spread it out on the counter and poured the ice onto it before tying it shut making a crude but effective ice pack. Spied was silent enough that I glanced at him then to notice him watching me as I turned to hand him the ice.
"God, Jude…" He began, but I stopped him by placing a finger on his lips and he groaned as my breast grazed his arm when I leaned over.
"Don't Spied. Just don't mess it up okay?" I said as I walked in between his open knees, letting him hug me to him—showing him without words that I needed his friendship but that I wasn't willing to step over those constraining bounds. We stayed like that a moment until Spied suddenly stiffened, and I knew without even looking that we weren't alone anymore. I backed away from Spied slowly, looking carefully over my shoulder to see Tommy leaning against the wall. There's no telling how long he had stood there. Spied jumped down quickly, wincing ever so slightly as he did before grabbing the ice pack I had made, kissing me on the forehead, and rushing out of the room without saying anything. I looked over at Tommy and rolled my eyes as I started toward the door—not caring what Tommy assumed or even thought at that point.
"Don't Jude." He said softly and I froze in my tracks as he approached me from behind.
"I didn't come here to argue. I came here to apologize." He said gently, and I could feel the slight stirring of the hairs on the back of my neck as his breath blew across my nape. I just stood there staring at the door wondering if I should just take the apology and leave. I sighed and began to turn around slowly when a sudden jolt caused me to sway backwards. Wow! I must be even more tired than I thought, or at least I assumed until I felt the floor buckle again throwing me against Tommy as we both landed with a bang against the refrigerator. "What the hell." I thought suddenly as the refrigerator began to pitch and sway precariously until it began to lean forward inevitably about to fall. I yelped as something struck my foot causing it to burn like fire, and I watched in horror as the refrigerator pitched forward just as Tommy managed to roll the two of us out of the way landing on top of me as he did in order to shield me from any other falling debris.
"It's an earthquake, Jude." He whispered urgently in my ear as he glanced around us, I assume looking for us a safe place to go. I nodded helplessly, grabbing onto the fabric of his shirt as I noticed that the wall where the door had been only moments before had collapsed. Pulling me along with him, Tommy scooted to the farthest side of the room where the least amount of furniture was at, before lying once again on top of me trying desperately to keep any objects from striking my body. I felt him tense as a drawer flew out of one of the cabinets to land on the wall opposite us crashing to the floor and scattering any contents that had once sat inside. I buried my face into Tommy's neck and bit down on his t-shirt to keep from crying out as the pain in my leg intensified, and Tommy's breathing quickened as one final buck of the earth caused the table to slide into a wall before everything suddenly got quiet and very very dark. Somewhere during the turmoil, the electricity had winked out. Tom lay there a moment longer almost afraid to move in case there was an after shock. His heart beat against my chest as the warmth of his thigh seeped into my bare leg. He leaned over then cautiously before lifting himself easily off of me whispering something about finding some light. Losing the warmth of his body made me even more aware of the agonizing pain in my right leg, and I groaned as I tried desperately to lean over so that I could feel with my fingers what kind of damage had been done to it. I heard Tommy searching carefully through the debris while chattering calmly so I would know where he was at in the darkness.
"That was a fairly mild earthquake, believe it or not." Tommy said quietly as I hrrrumphed in disbelief. He chuckled as a shaft of light suddenly infiltrated the dark, revealing that Tommy had finally discovered a box that contained a flashlight, candles, and a couple boxes of matches probably put there in case of situations like these.
How do you know what kind of earthquake it was?" I asked through clenched teeth as I clutched at my bare leg. He turned to me then, making his way back through the debris to stoop down by my side.
"Because I lived here for a short period of time a few years ago. This room is fairly new but not well fortified which is why there was so much damage. The rest of the hotel probably just got mild damage as the guest's rooms are probably built more towards safety than the lounges are. I give them a couple of hours and the electricity will be back up and then people will start checking all of the lounges and rooms to get anyone stuck out. So, we'll just have to sit tight until then." He said quietly as he leaned over, picked me up to place me in his lap, and then grabbed my foot gently before shining the light down onto my wound. I gasped at the long gash that marred my calf and winced as he carefully pressed at the skin around my ankle. It was tender and I drew in a deep breath as he turned it gently back and forth to make sure it wasn't broken.
"We're going to need to wrap that," He said gently as he pulled off his t-shirt before tearing it into two pieces, creating a temporary bandage. I tried not to stare, really I did, but I don't think I had ever seen Tommy Q without a shirt before and he was just downright beautifully sculpted. I averted my gaze quickly when I noticed he had caught me at the act of ogling his chest, knowing without a doubt that my cheeks were beet red as I grabbed the candles and matches he had sat next to himself before starting to inspect my wound.
"I'll just light these." I said a little too quickly as I scooted gingerly off of Tommy's lap. He didn't say anything, probably because he knew I was embarrassed enough as the striking of the match tore through the silence, sounding almost as loud to me as a bomb. I stopped after lighting five of the candles and handed them to Tommy so that he could place them wherever he thought they would give off the most light. Looking around as light began to illuminate the space, I noticed suddenly that Tommy was right. Despite the terror I had felt during the shaking, very little damage had actually been done. The refrigerator lay on its side on the floor, a drawer was missing from a cabinet, the table was leaning against the wall, and the door leading out into the corridor had collapsed with part of the ceiling falling in on it, which had caused the room to be barricaded in.
"Well, at least you can't run away from my apology." Tommy said with a laugh as I looked up at him in frustration.
"I quit running a long time ago from things like that, Tommy. You know that." I said quietly as I rubbed my leg tentatively. Tom sighed and came to sit down next to me once again before grabbing my foot and massaging it gently around the swollen tissue. I was uncomfortable with his proximity, especially now that his shirt had gone from his back to my leg. I shuddered as he ran his fingertip over my calf, and he pulled his hand away before looking down at me.
"Did I hurt you?" He asked as I shook my head emphatically even though I knew he had hurt me, just not in the way that he was assuming he had. The silence was too great for me, but something about the way Tommy had been looking at Spied and I when he walked in the room earlier just didn't bode well for the easy banter I was hoping would come.
"If you're being quiet because of what I saw between you and Spied, you know you don't owe me an explanation. I just want you to be careful, Jude." Tommy said suddenly. My head snapped up as I looked over at him with my brow arched in confusion.
"Careful?" I asked quickly. Tom nodded as he shifted his weight and leaned heavily against the wall.
"Jude, guys talk. I know that when you and Spied were dating that you went pretty far together. I know you didn't sleep with him, but you two were a lot physically closer than you ever were with Jamie or Shay. That kind of intimacy can play havoc with your emotions." He said as I just stared at him incredulously. He so didn't go there! I squirmed uncomfortably as I realized what he probably knew about mine and Spied's relationship.
"I don't regret anything about my relationship with Spied, if that is what you are suggesting, Tommy. Yes, I probably got more emotionally involved with him, but Tommy those are my decisions to make." I said with conviction as I stared at him open-mouthed as I realized he was actually lecturing me about sex.
"I just don't want you to be, I don't know, naïve." He said stuttering slightly on the last word. Naïve, huh? Oh that did it!
"What the…okay whatever Tommy. I have always been very careful about the decisions I have made in my life. Sometimes, I don't make the right ones, but they are my mistakes to make—my mistakes to learn from. I don't need a father in my life, Tommy. I already lost the one I had." I said menacingly as Tommy stood up and walked a short distance away. I watched as the muscles in his back tensed in agitation.
"Jude, I know you…" He began, but I stood up gingerly and limped until I was standing behind him, shoving him slightly as I railed.
"Do you, Tommy? I mean do you really know me? Look at me!" I said loudly as I limped around him until I was looking up into his eyes.
"This," I said pointedly, "is Jude Harrison. I hate sunrises, I love sunsets. I have a secret obsession with chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream although I always eat the cookie dough while leaving the ice cream in the carton. And I buy chocolate icing just so that I can eat it by itself out of the container. My favorite color is red, hence the previous hair choice. I love old episodes of the 'Three Stooges," and I am deathly allergic to shell fish. I twirl my hair when I'm sleepy, I stick out my tongue between my teeth when I am concentrating deeply, and I massage my stomach right before I go on stage to help with the butterflies. For God's sake, I even drool in my sleep, and I am not, I repeat, not afraid of being physical with someone if I feel I am emotionally ready for it. No, I do not love Spied, hence the reason we never went all the way. So, tell me Tommy, what's your biggest problem with him anyway?" I asked loudly, limping in agitation back and forth. He was quiet a moment before I finally heard him move.
"Maybe, because when I see you with him, I hate that it isn't me!" Tommy almost shouted and I froze suddenly dumbfounded. I turned around as delicately as I could with my mouth hanging open as if the hinge was broken.
"What did you say?" I asked almost speechlessly as I gazed up at him from where I was standing.
"You heard me, Jude." Tom said softly before he walked over to the wall and laid his forehead against the wood.
I just couldn't say anything. I just couldn't. Was this something he was saying but wanted to forget later? Was it just a confession for him—something he wanted to get off his chest but not something he wanted to act on? What was it? He had me so confused; I wanted to throw caution to the wind and yell until my lungs were raw and bleeding. I was afraid to touch him—afraid he would just push me away. But I was also afraid that if I didn't then I would never know if I was dreaming the whole bizarre thing.
"Tommy." I whispered almost fearfully. He didn't answer me, didn't even look in my direction as I slowly made my way across the room. Upon reaching him, I just breathed in his scent letting myself revel in his proximity, in the heat emanating off of his skin. Cautiously, I placed my hand on his shoulder running my fingertips slowly and reassuringly down the line of his spine, trying desperately to get some kind of reaction out of him. He looked at me then, his eyes almost black from something that scared me in its intensity. But I was determined not to run. There had been enough running between Tommy and I. His hand came up and cupped my jaw and I closed my eyes as he traced his fingertip delicately along the line of my lips, noticing as he did that his finger trembled from his attempt to hold back the passion both of us had caged inside. I was done fighting the beast, and I let it run free, pulling his face toward mine gently. I knew the moment he told himself "The hell with it" because he became a man possessed. His mouth crashed onto mine and I met him fury for fury releasing all the pent up rage, frustration, and need in one explosive, mind-numbing kiss. My hands roamed over his chest and back and he pushed me up against the wall as his hands began to learn the lines of my body as well. I was in ecstasy—marveling that for the first time, Tommy was really letting me feel him, taste him, know him in a way I never thought I would get a chance to know him. His skin burned me, branding its rough texture into my soul as we fought the needs that pummeled us both. The air sizzled with electricity as the air grew warmer and heavier—filled to the brim with emotion. A noise startled us, and we suddenly pulled back from each other harshly as if breathing weren't possible unless we shared one breath. I averted my gaze from his, not because I was ashamed but because I was afraid that I would see regret reflected in his eyes, and I wasn't ready to see that yet. My body still burned where his hands had roamed as the noise outside the room grew more persistent and the wall began to thin a little. I knew then that we were being dug out of the room and that it was time we re-joined the real world. I looked at Tommy then, allowing myself the glance into his eyes I had been so afraid of just moments before. He was breathing hard and I watched his chest with fascination before my pupils locked magnetically with his. And what I saw there wasn't regret as I had feared before, but sadness. And that, believe it or not, scared me even more than regret. I shook my head as I looked at him wildly.
"It didn't happen if you want it that way, Tommy." I said lamely as he smiled softly and reached out to draw his finger slowly down my cheek and then across my bare shoulder.
"I can't pretend this one away, Jude. I'm not sure that I want to anymore." He said in a tone that sounded suspiciously like defeat. I watched him a moment before grabbing the hand he had laid against my arm and pressing my lips softy into the palm before closing his fingers around the invisible kiss. Then I pushed his hand away placing it gently over his heart as the sound of hammers finally broke through the last barrier.
"You guys okay in here?" a voice asked. I shot one more soulful glance in Tommy's direction before stepping away from him to turn toward the men at the entrance.
"We're fine. Just a few minor injuries." I said confidently as I let the men help me carefully over the debris. Mom, Sadie, Patsy, Jamie, Darius, Kwest, Portia, Liam, and SME all waited on the outside as I brushed away the dust to feel Tommy step out behind me. I shielded my eyes against the sudden light noticing as I did that Portia and Sadie both were staring at Tommy's naked chest as if mesmerized by it even though I knew for a fact that they both had seen it before.
"Are you okay?" Mom asked almost tearfully as she looked at the make shift bandage wrapped around my leg. Tommy's arm brushed mine as he grabbed my elbow to keep me from stumbling as I tried in vain to put weight on the leg.
"When the earthquake hit, something fell on it. I think the ankle is sprained and the gash looks like it might have been made by a nail. We should probably see about getting her a tetanus shot if she hasn't had one recently." Tommy said calmly as he let me use him as a crutch while walking down the corridor. I glanced back at mom then as we walked. She had a knowing expression on her face and I smiled reassuringly at her as I was led toward some medical personnel who were treating minor injuries. A young paramedic took me by the arm and helped me sit down as they looked at my ankle before icing it down and wrapping it efficiently. I saw Tommy speaking with Darius as I had my gash treated, and I watched with a small, sad smile as Tommy walked away with him. I started to sigh in resignation when I suddenly saw Tommy glance back over his shoulder to throw me a small grin. And I just couldn't help it. That one gesture suddenly gave me hope.