Mr. Elric's Wal-Mart Incident
Disclaimer: I in no way own Wal-Mart, or Full Metal Alchemist. Seriously.
Mr. Elric hated Wal-Mart. He hated it with a passion. They forced him to dress up in this god forsaken blue apron, and pretend to be happy, even when the idiotic hillbillies insulted his shortness. This day was unlike any other, even for Wal-Mart's worst employee.
"EDWARD ELRIC, PLEASE COME TO THE MANAGERS OFFICE IMMEDIATELY!"
He somehow managed to run into every display on his way to the manager's office, making him curse and scare away even more customers. 'Oh, well. What else is new?' he asked himself. That's right nothing. He always scared the customers away.
Twitching, he slowly opened the office door. Then IT came.
"MR. ELRIC, WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS? I HAVE A REPORT OF YOU CUSSING OUT THE AUTOMATIC DOOR! WILL YOU PLEASE GIVE ME AN EXPLANATION FOR THIS!"
"Well, umm…" Edward started, "I have an explanation for that, I think." Except he didn't. He was just trying to use the automatic door like a normal person, and then it shut halfway just as he was walking through the door, and then damned thing wouldn't open. It wasn't completely his fault, was it?
"AND WHAT ABOUT YOU SCREAMING AT THE SOUP CANS?"
"Um, ma'am it's just that…well…the cans wouldn't stay on the shelves, and they pissed me off, so…" Ed trailed off.
"AND SCREAMING AT A CUSTOMER!"
"Come on! All I told him was that he was stupid. It isn't that hard to figure out where the front of the store is!" Ed said defensively. Uh-oh, it could see it coming.
"THAT'S IT MR. ELRIC! YOU HAVE BEEN DEPROMTED TO CART BOY! I DON'T EVER WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN!"
"O-o-okay m-ma'am," Ed said quickly and scurried out, praying to God that she wouldn't come back for another piece of the ed-pie.
It isn't very good yet, but I'm working on my writing. Tell me you love it anyway! Oh and constructive criticism would be appreciated. Lots.Andy