Thank you MaggieMay17 for beta'ing, Ncsupnatfan and VegasGranny for pre-reading. These ladies really make the process of writing and posting this story as easy as possible. NC and VegasGranny supported me from day one of writing, always giving helpful feedback, and MaggieMay17 takes the error strewn mess of a chapter I send her and sends back something way better.

Chapter Twelve

"Hey, Cas," Dean said, striding into the library.

Castiel looked up from the map he had spread across the table and set down the pen he'd been about to mark it with. "Good morning, Dean."

"Sammy with Violet?"

Castiel shook his head.

Dean's smiled faltered. "He's gone?"

"He left early to find some of Michael's monsters in Tibet."

"Sam's in Tibet!" Dean shook his head. "That's crazy."

Castiel considered a moment and then smiled. "I imagine it does seem strange to you. We had an eventful night, though, so he needed to go. Billie came, and she… encouraged Violet to help us. She gave up the first location of Michael's experiments, and Sam set out to find them. Billie also suggested a way that Sam can use his grace to trace them the way he can an archangel."

Dean was disappointed. He'd woken feeling good about the fact he might get to spend some time with Sam, even on the periphery if that was all he gave him.

Castiel saw his disappointment and went on in what he probably thought was a comforting tone, "He will come back."

"I know," Dean said, too quickly for it to be believable.

Castiel looked sympathetic. "It must be very difficult for you all to be so close but to not have him here. It's difficult for him, too."

"Yeah, it is, but…" Dean frowned as the meaning of Castiel's words sank in, and he realized what he was saying. "Wait. Sam's talking to you about how he feels?"

Dean was surprised Sam would open up to Castiel. He'd had the least chance to bond with Sam of any of them before Lucifer took him. Chuck had thought he might, but Dean had thought he knew Sam better than that.

Perhaps he had once. They'd been so close before, but so much had changed about Sam. It wasn't just the fact he was an archangel now; he was also a different man at the same time. It made him sad that Castiel was succeeding with Sam, where he wasn't given a chance.

"He is," Castiel said, and there was something in his tone that Dean thought was pain.

"He's okay, though, right?" he asked, concern furrowing his brow. "Obviously, it's tough for him, but he's okay?"

"He will be." Castiel turned his attention back to the map and drew a cross over Tibet.

Dean wanted to know more, but he felt a barrier between himself and Castiel that he'd not felt in a long time. It was strange, but he didn't feel he could ask for more. Castiel was like a brother to him, and he trusted him with his life, the same way he knew Castiel trusted him, but this was about Sam, and Castiel wasn't volunteering the information. There had to be a reason.

As curious as he was, he held back from questioning further. This was another instance of him needing to give Sam space.

He moved closer to the table and looked at the spot Castiel had marked. "You going to be tracking them a country at a time?"

"It depends on where Violet directs us," Castiel said. "Sam isn't practiced enough to be able to lock on to them spread across the world. He needs a location to start with. I think it will get easier for him as time goes on, as he'll be more powerful," he considered, "more experienced."

"I thought he was already powered up," Dean said. "Chuck brought him back as a full archangel."

"He is. He's an incredibly powerful being now, but he doesn't have experience with it. That will come, which will open him to his full potential power."

Dean nodded and then looked around as he heard voices in the hall. Mary and Nick came in. Mary's hair was damp and pulled back from her face, and her shirt wasn't buttoned right. She looked a little harried.

"Rough night, Mom?" Dean asked.

She frowned and then looked down as he plucked the front of his own shirt. She chuckled. "I was in a hurry." She looked around hopefully. "Is Sam with Violet?"

Dean felt like it was his fault when her face fell into sadness as he said, "He's in Tibet, chasing down some of Michael's monsters." He hurried to reassure her, hoping to bring back her smile. "He'll be back soon, though. He's got to come to get the next location from Violet."

Nick patted Mary's arm and said, "Space, remember, Mom?"

She sighed and nodded. "Yeah, space."

"Space?" Castiel asked.

Nick rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah. We've all agreed that we're letting Sam come to us in his own time, only when he's ready. We're not pushing him for more."

"That's good," Castiel said and then turned his attention on Nick, his expression unusually intense. "How are you?"

Nick frowned. "Uh, I'm fine."

Dean examined his brother. He looked a little tense and tired. Dean wondered if he'd had another rough night. Dean had slept like a log, dreamless, and not woken until his alarm had started blaring.

Mary glanced at Nick, too, and said, "Are you sure?"

Nick smiled, and it looked genuine. "Positive."

Mary clapped her hands together. "Okay, breakfast. What do you want?"

Dean and Nick exchanged a glance, and Nick said, "I can make us something."

Dean loved his mother and appreciated her many talents, but cooking wasn't one of them. She had one dish that was great—Winchester Surprise—but everything else was a little unpredictable. She tried, but Dean and Nick tried to steer her away from the kitchen for anything but her specialty.

Mary gave him a suspicious look and then shrugged. "Fine. What are you making?"

"Pancakes?" Nick offered.

"Sounds good," Dean said. "You get started on them, and I'll go see if Jack's up yet. Since the kid lost his grace, he actually sleeps like a kid. I've not seen anyone go as deep as him since Nick was a teenager."

Mary smiled between them, a little sadly. Dean guessed she was thinking of the fact that Nick's teenage years were a part of their lives she would never know, no matter how much time they had together now. "What about Sam? What was he like?" she asked.

Dean grinned as he remembered. "He wasn't the typical teen, or child either really. Kid was always the one banging around at the ass-crack of dawn."

"Waking us up," Nick interjected.

"Yep," Dean said and rubbed his stomach. "Nicky, get cooking. I'll get Jack."

He went through the halls to Jack's room and knocked. There were sounds of movement inside, and then Jack called, "Yeah?"

Dean pushed open the door and said, "Nick's making pancakes. You hungry?"

Jack looked over his shoulder from the dresser he was rooting in and said, "Sure. I'll help him. Is everyone else up?"

"Everyone's around but Sam. He's in Tibet."

Jack nodded as if there was nothing unusual about that statement at all. Dean realized there really wasn't for him. He'd never known Sam as he was before. He'd never even had a conversation with him since Sam was brought back. Their only interaction was when Sam was Lucifer and then he had been just the vessel.

They were all caught up in Sam, having him back and what it meant for them, and Jack would feel none of that at all. He was probably just struggling with the fact everyone around him was all twisted up with something he couldn't understand.

Dean thought they needed to give Jack more time—or maybe he needed space too —while they dealt with Sam. Bobby would be willing to have him on a hunt, and there was no reason for them to guard him in the bunker anymore. He was in no danger as Michael was dead and Lucifer long gone. Dean would sound Nick, Castiel, and Mary out about the idea, and then make Jack the offer. Mary might want to go along to add a little family support.

Dean headed to the kitchen where Mary was filling the coffee machine and Nick stirring batter. They weren't speaking, but it was a comfortable silence. Dean took the plates from the cupboard and cutlery, then set the table and took a seat beside Castiel.

Nick poured batter into the skillet, and it sizzled as Mary sat opposite Dean and said, "There's something I want to do."

Dean raised an eyebrow. "Something like…?"

"The man that cast the spell—Magnus or Cuthbert, whatever his name was—I want to find him and kill him."

Nick turned from the stove and said, "Definitely. But is now the time? I want him punished as much as anyone, but we've got Sam to help, and Michael's monsters to deal with. There's also a rogue reaper in the dungeon."

"Exactly," Mary said. "There's Sam. Only we can't help him. We can't see him or talk to him unless he instigates it. We can't do anything because we can't put pressure on him. We've got to let him come to us in his own time. There are Michael's monsters to deal with, yes, but Sam is taking care of them. We can deal with the ones in the States, probably, but not without him finding them for us, which means he'll be there, so he might as well take them down for us since he's so much more powerful. There's a reaper in the dungeon, but what are we supposed to do with her?"

"Nothing yet," Castiel said. "Sam needs her to find the other monsters."

"Exactly, Sam does," she said emphatically. "He is the one that needs to do everything."

"Everything except Magnus," Nick said thoughtfully. "We can handle him. I doubt Sam would even bother. He thinks Chuck did this to us all. You're right, Mom. We can find him and kill him." He scowled. "Dibs on his headshot. Dean got to kill Hitler, so it's my turn this time."

"I'll fight you for it," Mary said fiercely.

"We'll all find a way to make him hurt," Dean promised.

"We'll have to find him first," Nick pointed out. "He'd concealed himself pretty well last time."

"Who are we finding?" Jack asked from the doorway.

"Magnus," Nick said. "The one that cast the spell to take Sam out of our memories. Want in?"

Jack looked surprised. "I can come? I'm not on lockdown anymore?"

"Lockdown's over," Nick said. "We were trying to keep you safe from Michael before. He's out of the picture. You're safe."

Jack beamed at him. "Then I definitely want to come. Is this man very dangerous?"

"Yeah," Dean sighed, disappointed that Nick had made the offer before he could talk to him about Jack joining Bobby. "He's not physically dangerous, really. His power all comes from magic."

"Which is pretty damn dangerous," Nick pointed out. "He put that spell on you, Dean."

"What spell?" Mary asked.

Dean grimaced as he remembered. "It was basically mind-control, compulsion. He wanted me to kill Nicky."

Mary looked horrified, and Nick quickly said, "He didn't, though. Obviously. Dean beat it down."

Dean wondered, though. How much of the resistance he'd found was because of his own strength of will, and how much was because of the combination of the Mark of Cain on his arm and the First Blade in his hand?

Nick pointed a spatula at him and said, "Quit it!"

Dean frowned. "Quit what?"

"Your moody obsessing. You took control. Magnus died. I was fine. Besides, it's not like it was the first time one of us tried to kill the other."

Mary gasped. "What? You've tried to kill each other?"

Dean sighed. "It's a long story, Mom. We're both fine, though. And the pancakes are burning."

Nick cursed and quickly turned back to the stove. He tipped the charred pancake onto a plate and added more oil.

Mary looked troubled still. "So, this man is powerful enough to make you want to kill your brother, to do a spell which managed to wipe Sam from our memories completely, and he can conceal himself from us. How hard is it going to be for us to kill him?"

"It's not going to be easy," Nick admitted. "But we've handled worse, and we have the witch killing bullets now."

Dean grinned. "We could take the…"

"No," Nick said, cutting him off. "We're not taking the rocket launcher. Sure, it'd take him down, but unless we track him to a wide-open space, it will also take us down."

Jack chuckled. "Do you really use a rocket launcher?"

"We did one time," Dean said, smiling at the memory. "But Nicky's right. We need something a little less destructive this time, something we can control."

"Like Sam?" Jack suggested. "He's strong, and he's in control."

"No!" Mary said harshly, then she softened her voice as she went on. "Sam is already doing too much. Like Nick said, we've all handled worse. We'll take care of it together."

"Yeah, he doesn't need to be a part of this," Nick said.

Dean nodded his agreement. "We're doing this without him being dragged in."

Mary looked up. "Cas, are you going to… Castiel?"

Castiel had a vague look on his face: his eyes were distant, and his head was tilted to the side. He didn't seem to realize all eyes were on him until he nodded slightly, and his attention came back to the room.

"What's going on?" Dean asked.

"Sam," Castiel said. "I was speaking to him. He wanted me to join him."

"Is he okay?" Mary asked.

"Yes," Castiel said quickly. "He just needed to ask me something."

Before they could reply, before Dean could ask why he didn't just ask whatever it was on angel radio if he was okay, Castiel disappeared with a faint flutter.

"Weird," Nick muttered.

"It was Cas," Mary said as if that was an explanation in and of itself. Which, Dean thought, it probably was.

Jack held up a plate, and Nick slid the cooked pancakes onto it before adding more batter to the skillet. Mary watched them, looking thoughtful.

Dean's thoughts were busy, too. They had a plan now. Magnus was going to die, painfully, but Sam wasn't going to be dragged into it. This was their fight, not his. Sam's fight was already too big for one man.

Though maybe not too big for an archangel.

Sam was standing beside the Lhasa River. He could hear the water lapping the shore; he could hear Tibetan voices at the distant market but only as a faint murmur. He was reaching past the voices, past the sounds of the river, the town, the quiet whisper of the breeze, trying to find the sense of home he now knew was the touch of grace.

Sure, you get it now Billie and Castiel have told you, but you won't take my word for it.

Sam pushed aside the voice and concentrated again. He felt a pull east and spread his wings and took flight. He followed the sensation until it became strong and then slowed to look around. He was close to a group of buildings with upswept curved eaves and red tile roofs. Sam moved closer and followed the draw into one, finding himself in a small kitchen.

He knew he was in the right place at once as he heard a growling male voice that was answered by a female's that had a hissing quality to it. He followed the voices toward a door and then paused for a moment before kicking it open and running inside to a room with a low couch and set fireplace.

There were three figures in there. One was a werewolf, its overlarge teeth, a product of the grace, fixed in a snarl. The other two were monsters Sam had only seen in books before, though the voice made sense at once. They were bakeneko, Chinese monsters that looked feline with their yellow eyes and slit pupils. Sam had read lore that they had tails, but he couldn't see evidence of them.

They all looked at him as he burst in, and the bakenekos' hands curled into claws. These weren't the first of Michael's monsters he'd found in Tibet, but the last had been a lone kumiho, and he'd dealt with it easily and gotten what he wanted first.

His blade dropped into his hand, and the werewolf took a step forward.

"Do you know who I am?" Sam asked, intrigued to hear the Tibetan language flowing smoothly from his tongue.

The werewolf sneered. "You're the other one."

"Yes, my name is Sam. I killed your maker. Michael is dead."

"We know," one of the bakeneko said. "We felt it happen."

Sam's lips curled in a wry smile. "That simplifies things."

He took a step forward, and the werewolf met him, teeth bared. Sam slammed his fist into its forehead, and it staggered backward, away from him. The two bakeneko watched him warily for a moment, clearly nervous, and then they seemed to come to a decision; they turned and ran.

Sam threw out a hand, and they slammed into the wall with enough force to dent the wooden paneling.

"Don't go anywhere," he said calmly. "I'll deal withyou next."

The werewolf came at Sam again, and he kicked it in the gut. It would be easier for him to go for the kill, to blast it with grace as he now had the ability and knowledge to do it, but there was something he wanted from it first.

He kicked its legs out from under it and knelt on its chest, slammed a hand at the bakeneko who were starting to move away from the wall, throwing them back hard enough that their eyes became unfocused, and then made the neat cut against the werewolf's throat that would free what he really wanted. He'd done it twice already with the two vampires he'd found in Shigatse.

The trickle of grace poured from the wound, and Sam caught it in the vial that already held the vampires' portions. It was nothing, nowhere near enough to do anything with, but Sam had a plan for it and was going to gather it.

As Sam finished collecting the last wisp of grace and the werewolf growled and twisted beneath his knee, he heard a flutter on the air and the sense of a second angel's presence.

"Hey, Cas," he said, capping the bottle and then pressing his hand to the werewolf's forehead and smiting it. He jumped up as the body became ash that collapsed beneath him.

"Can I help at all?" Castiel asked. "These two are looking energetic."

Sam saw the bakeneko were getting to their feet and starting towards the door again. He threw out his arm, and they dropped.

"I've got it," he said.

He grabbed them each by their throat and dragged them upright, then repeated the process of extracting grace while holding the other one in place until he was done with both.

Castel moved closer, and his eyes narrowed as he watched Sam collect both portions of grace and then cap the vial and tuck it into his pocket.

"What are you doing, Sam?"

Instead of answering, Sam smote both bakeneko at once, turning them to ash, and then brushed his hands on his pants. He stepped back and looked around the room, wondering what had happened to the people that lived in this house before it was taken over by Michael's monsters. He figured they were dead.

"What are you doing with the grace?" Castiel asked.

"Oh." Sam rubbed the back of his neck. "I… uh… I thought Jack might want it."

The idea had first come when he'd faced the first of Michael's Asian monsters. He'd been wary that he might not be able to kill with grace alone, as he'd never done it before, and he'd been thinking of how much slower the process would be with the monsters having the advantage of grace.

Ultimately, he'd been able to kill without a problem, but he'd wondered how much easier it would have been if they didn't have grace. It had put him in mind of Jack, how he'd struggled the first time Sam lived through this year, and how much he would be struggling now.

"You want to give him Michael's grace?" Castiel asked.

Sam shrugged. "I figured I should at least offer. In the year I had with Jack before, it was rough. He lost even more grace than he did when I was swapped and healed him, and it was killing him." Castiel looked stricken, and Sam rushed on. "He won't die this time since he didn't lose as much grace, his illness was all about the lack of balance between his angel side and human, but it was so hard on him."

"It is now, too," Castiel said. "With everything that happened, I've not been able to help him through it as much as I should. We were training with his grace, though, and it is replenishing slowly."

"Do you think he'd want this?" Sam asked, withdrawing the vial of grace from his pocket.

"He might. We should definitely offer it." Castiel smiled. "I think that will mean a lot to him. He's…" He trailed off, looking uncomfortable.

"Struggling with the fact I look like his evil father?" Sam suggested.

Castiel bowed his head. "It is difficult for him, yes."

"I get that. It's…" Sam squeezed his eyes closed as he pushed down the surge of emotion he felt at the reminder of what he'd lost with Jack. "I can have something with Mom and Dean, and I've got you back properly which is great, but I can't ever have Jack back. Even if I go to him and talk, there is no connection there, and he's not going to want one. Me offering up Michael's grace isn't going to change that, he won't love me again, but it means I can still do something for him." Sam forced a smile and changed the subject to break the moment. "Anyway, what are you doing here? I thought you were staying back at the bunker."

Castiel looked abashed. "It was a little uncomfortable there, and I needed some space, so I told them you called me and asked me to come."

Sam huffed a laugh. "Sneaky. What was so bad there? Nick?"

"No, which is part of the problem. When I am with him, I don't see Lucifer all the time; he's just Nick. And then I'll remember, and it becomes hard to look at him without seeing Lucifer. Today they were all talking about the memories Chuck created, the childhood you had with them, and it was just so… wrong." He shook his head. "They're going to hunt Magnus down."

"Figures. He's the big bad to them." He frowned as he considered. "Chuck would have brought him back, right? He'd know they'd go after him, so he'd have Magnus there as a prop to the story."

"I'm sure he would. He'd want the appropriate enemy for them to face, given the memory of casting the spell for Lucifer."

Sam pinched the bridge of his nose. "Yeah, he'd cover his bases."

Castiel stared at him for a moment and then asked, "Have you found any more of Michael's creations here?"

"None nearby. I was going to head back and get a new location from Violet. A headcount of how many he made might be good, too."

"I'd like to show you something before you go back," Castiel said. "Something I think might help you."

Feeling curious and lifted by the idea of having time with Castiel before he went back to the bunker, he nodded and said, "Sure. Lead the way."

Castiel's wings spread, and Sam flew after him to the top of a snowy peak. The snow was so deep it came to his calves when he landed, and he looked around at more high peaks. There was one in the distance that looked ever higher than the one he stood on, and there were dots of color on it.

"Where are we?" he asked.

Castiel looked slightly smug as he answered. "This is Gangkhar Puensum, one of the only mountains on earth that is untouched by humans. Only angels have been here before."

Sam drew in a deep breath of the icy air and exhaled it in a sigh. "This is amazing, Cas."

"And that over there is Mount Everest," Castiel said, pointing in the direction of the higher mountain. "I would have liked to take you there, but it's a busy place."

"I can see," Sam said, fixing his eyes on the dots of color and focusing so that he could see their small movements as they inched up the mountain. "But this… They've really never been here before?"

"I'm not sure how many other angels have been here. I came here once shortly after the Himalayas first appeared with one of my brothers, but I've not been back since."

"Who was the brother?" Sam asked.

Me, Gabriel said smugly.

"Gabriel," Castiel said quietly.

Sam sucked in a breath, and Castiel frowned. "He was different before he left Heaven," he said. "I know you had a strained relationship with him, but he wasn't like that once…"

Sam held up his hand. "No, I get that, I can imagine anyway, but…" Sam bit his lip and then went on. "Cas, I can hear Gabriel in my head, his voice, I mean. He talks to me. I know he's dead, and I figured it was just my mind giving me a little comfort—though why it thought Gabriel would be a good choice, I don't know—but he says things I couldn't know. He just told me it was him who came here with you, just before you answered."

Castiel's eyes widened, and his lips curved in a wide smile. "He's alive, Sam!"

"No, I saw him die. Michael stabbed him."

"You saw him die before," Castiel pointed out.

And that was a trick, Gabriel said with a laugh.

"So he's really alive," Sam breathed. "I'm actually hearing him talk to me?"

"There are ways for archangels to communicate that seraphs don't have access to. There is a supreme connection between them. If you're hearing him speak to you, it means the connection is active. He's rooted within you."

"Where is he then?" Sam asked.

Right where you left me, Gabriel said. Fighting the good fight. Interested?

"In the other world where we left him," Castiel said. "I didn't know communication was possible between worlds, but then I didn't know much about the other worlds until I visited one. What is he saying to you?"

Hey, Cas. Still rocking the coat, I see. At least you're consistent.

Sam grinned. "He says hello."

"Hello, Gabriel," Castiel said with a wide smile.

"So, he can read my mind?" Sam asked, feeling a little disturbed. "That's kinda weird."

"It's not that he can read your mind exactly. It's more that you're connected. You could block him if you wanted; it wouldn't be hard for an archangel to do. I don't think Michael connected with you in the same way. You wouldn't have been able to kill him if he could anticipate your moves. You must have been unconsciously blocking him."

"Not at first," Sam said thoughtfully. "When Chuck switched me with Lucifer, Michael knew. I didn't understand how, I figured he was seeing something in me, but if he was in my head… Damn, I'm glad he's dead."

"Me too," Castiel said fervently.

Don't even think about blocking me, Sam, Gabriel warned. You're going to need me soon, and I'll be pissed if I have to force my way in. And I can do that. I'm not a newbie to the archangel thing like you.

"Okay," Sam said, speaking to them both at once. "I'll spend some time in the library looking into this. I'm curious about it."

"The library?" Castiel said hopefully. "You're coming to the bunker?"

Sam shrugged. "I have to if I want to get more locations from Violet, and it would be good to see Dean and my Mom."

Castiel shifted his weight from foot to foot. "Yes…"

"What?" Sam asked.

"They are trying to give you space," Castiel said, "but they are all very eager to speak to you."

"Nick included," Sam sighed.

"Yes, him too."

Sam nodded. "Okay, then. If that's what they need, I'll come back for a while and spend some time with them. It'll be good."

It would be hard to be around Nick, but he was denying himself what he wanted and needed by keeping his distance. There were things for him to do, dealing with Michael's monsters, especially, but he could at least spend a little time at home with his family. It would help all of them.

"Okay," he said. "I'll do one more sweep of Tibet first, make sure I've got all the local monsters, then I'll come by for a while."

Castiel beamed. "That would mean a lot to them."

"Me too," Sam said.

It would mean a lot to him. He wasn't getting his real life back, no matter what Nick dreamed or remembered, so he had to make the best of what he had. Spending time with the people he loved would be good for him. And he could make his offer to Jack.

You sure you're ready for this? Gabriel asked.

"I can do this," Sam said, reassuring himself at the same time as answering Gabriel.

He wanted it even.

So… Missions all around. The family are going to hunt Magnus, and Sam is tracking monsters. And we finally have answers about Gabriel's voice, good answers, fun answers, answers some of you have been wanting since he first appeared ;-)

Until next time…

Clowns or Midgets xxx