They were promptly greeted by Robopuppy, who yipped and yapped while racing clumsily toward them. Just as Fry lowered his hand to pet the cybernetic pooch, it fell down on its haunches and stated in a tinny voice, "You…have…two…new…messages."
"Let's hear 'em," said Fry.
Robopuppy began to speak again, this time in Professor Farnsworth's voice. "Bad news, everyone. Leela and Delta were due back ten hours ago, but there's no sign of them. If you have any idea where they are, call me. I'll be here all day. Where would I go?"
Fry gave his robot friend a concerned look. "I sure hope nothing's happened," said Bender. "Amish furniture's worth a lot these days."
The robot dog then relayed the second message. "This is Kif. I regret that I can't be there in person to give you this news. The war against the Cerulean Pirates has begun, and the Nimbus is being deployed, with myself as her captain. Because of the nebula's interference with our scans, we can't be sure of the pirate fleet's full strength, so the battle may be a costly one. If I don't back alive, I want you all to know how much I've enjoyed the many times we've been thrown together by plot contrivances. Amy, if you're listening to this message, please try to be strong. I love you, my smizmar. Farewell."
"Omigosh," said Fry as the mechanical puppy began to chase its tail. "Amy must be in pieces right now. We'd better go to her."
"Sure, pal," said Bender. "Uh, where exactly does she live?"
As they deliberated, a fleet of thirty-four Titan-class DOOP warships passed beyond the boundary of Earth's solar system. Foremost among them was the Nimbus, on whose bridge Kif Kroker stood, giving orders fearlessly.
"Set a course for the Cerulean Nebula, and jump on my mark," he commanded.
"Aye, sir," said a faceless minion.
"Jump!"
All as one, the gigantic starships flashed out of normal space and hurtled at twenty times the speed of light toward their fateful destination.
Upon one of the Cerulean Nebula's many planetoids, the pirates had constructed a vast shipyard and neighboring military base. Captain Balalaika's raider orbited the facility, waiting for the signal to descend and land.
In a dank, rather cold chamber of the pirate ship, Krandok was explaining to Leela the subtleties of sword combat. "Once we reach the base, I'll find ye some decent pirate garb," said Krandok in his Cockney brogue. "That outfit of yours shows off too much. Ye don't want to advertise to the world the fact that you're a woman, eh?"
"Why not?" said Leela, gripping her cutlass tightly as she braced herself for Krandok's attack. "It's no shame to be beaten by a woman. You should learn that."
The huge pirate lunged, making a downward arc with his sword. Leela parried, but the momentum of Krandok's blade overpowered her grasp on the handle. The cutlass flew from her hand and fell to the ground with a clatter.
"Lesson number one," said Krandok condescendingly. "Strength ain't everything. When ye fight a stronger man, like me, ye need balance and agility to win the day. Pick up your sword and we'll try again, but this time, try to dodge my blow."
On the deck above, Balalaika marched into Foss' laboratory, where the scientist was entering some data into the keyboard console of the Fossitron. "Ye summoned me, Foss," said the pirate leader. "State yer business."
Foss stood before him with a meek expression. "A battle fleet from Earth is coming in our direction, sir," he reported. "I recommend that we prepare ourselves for an attack."
Balalaika nodded. "I'll alert the raiders. When I come back here, I want to see Captain Brannigan hooked up to yer machine. It's time he and I had a man-to-man talk."
Leela managed to jump out of the way of Krandok's thrust, but one foot moved faster than the other, and she stumbled. Stupid lack of depth perception, she thought bitterly as she landed face-down on the floor.
"Nice try," said Krandok, offering a hand to lift her up. "But ye don't become a pirate in a day."
"I was meaning to ask something," said Leela, reaching down for her cutlass. "Why don't you use laser pistols instead of swords? They're much more deadly."
"'Cause we're pirates," replied Krandok. "We got laser cannons on our raiders, but that's as modern as we get."
A beeping sound from his belt caught his attention. "Krandok, report to my lab at once," said the voice of Foss. "And bring Brannigan with you."
Krandok stood dutifully straight, and replaced his sword in its sheath. "I'll be back shortly," he told Leela. "Don't go anywhere. Work on your fundamentals."
As he trudged through the doorway, Leela pondered her options. I could stay here and work on my fundamentals, she thought, or I could follow him, wait until he releases Zapp, and then overpower him. Oh, hell. Who needs fundamentals?
She tiptoed after the tall pirate, her large boots impacting softly on the steel floor. Krandok marched along single-mindedly, not once looking over his shoulder. It's working, thought Leela. With any luck, Zapp and I will be on our way to freedom in no time.
The pirate stopped at a heavy, barred doorway, took a key from his belt, and fumbled to open the lock with it. Leela ducked behind a corner and took a quick peek. This would be easier if I had two eyes, she thought. I wouldn't have to expose my whole face.
As she expected, Zapp emerged from the cell, still dressed in his velour uniform. He had lost weight, and his face was a bit pale, but other than the bandage on his broken nose, he showed no sign of having been mistreated. I'm surprised they haven't tortured him for strategic information, thought Leela.
"Balalaika wants a word with ye," Krandok told the space captain.
"My pleasure," said Zapp with a lack of concern that stunned Leela. Does he even know what's going on? she wondered.
Krandok yanked Zapp's arms behind his back, then secured his wrists with a pair of cuffs. "Move," he said with a gentle push, and Zapp obliged.
This is my chance, thought Leela, bounding forward stealthily. I know this is cowardly, but I wouldn't have a chance against him in a fair fight.
Once she had crept up behind Zapp and his captor, she raised the cutlass above her head, preparing to plunge the blade into Krandok's back…
To be continued