Knowing what she had to do, she focused on the part of Krandok's upper back that would lead to his heart, and swung the cutlass downward. It never reached its target. The last thing Leela sensed was a sharp blow to her chin, and then she blacked out.
Zapp and Krandok looked down at her unconscious form, prostrate on the floor, sword still in hand. "She tried to attack us from behind," Krandok observed. "She didn't count on my sensitive ears or my quick reflexes."
"Indeed," said his cuffed captive. "The question is, which of us was she trying to kill?"
Krandok knelt down and scooped the cyclops girl into his swarthy arms. "We'll take her to the lab with us," he stated. "Once she wakes up, we'll make her talk."
Professor Foss was welding a bolt to Delta's neck when Zapp and Krandok entered the lab. Seeing the unresponsive girl in Krandok's arms, he abruptly shut off his torch. "Oh, God!" he exclaimed. "Leela! What happened to her?"
"Like a bloody coward, she tried to run us through from behind," the tall pirate related.
Foss turned to the robot he had just repaired. "Delta, clear off that table and put a sheet over it," he ordered.
"Yes, master," said Delta flatly. While she diligently removed items from one table to another, Foss examined the bruise on Leela's chin.
"I should have known it would come to this," he said darkly.
"What mean ye?" said Krandok as he stretched Leela out over the table.
"When I was in the matrix with her, I tried to gauge her feelings toward Captain Brannigan," said Foss. "The hatred was so intense, I had to turn away. Maybe I should have warned you, but I couldn't imagine that a pretty thing like her would go so far as to commit murder."
Zapp marveled at the scientist's statement as Krandok forced him to take a seat in the Fossitron. "I can't imagine it either. Sure, there were times I came on too strong, but I always meant well." He shook his head as the helmet descended upon it. "If I'd known she had such a violent temperament, I…I would've sent her a postcard every week, and left it at that."
A moment later, Balalaika returned to the laboratory doorway and beamed with pleasure at the sight of Zapp attached to the professor's device. "Excellent," he said simply.
"The Fossitron's ready when you are, sir," Foss told him.
"Ah, the man himself," said Zapp as he watched Balalaika stride eagerly toward him.
Leela slipped in and out of consciousness. She heard the clip-clip of Delta's feet as she puttered about, cleaning and organizing Foss' various gadgets. She heard the whine of the Fossitron helmet as it made its way over Balalaika's straggly hair. She heard the professor's worried breaths as he tenderly ran his fingers over her cheek. She had no idea what it all meant.
Zapp was equally clueless about the strange domain into which he had been thrown. He saw nothing but dark, menacing clouds, even under his feet. A figure in pirate garb approached him, and proved to be Balalaika himself.
"Where am I now?" Zapp asked the pirate captain.
"Hell, me friend," was Balalaika's reply. "This be hell, and I be the devil."
Zapp folded his arms and grinned smugly. "I knew that sooner or later you'd try to steal strategic secrets from me using your virtual reality whatsit. But when it comes down to my mind versus your mind, I have the upper hand. You'll never break through my mental conditioning."
"Yarrr," said Balalaika calmly. "Yer secrets will be mine, and yer loyalty as well."
"Not gonna happen," said Zapp. "You may as well kill me now."
"Narrr," said Balalaika, stepping closer. "'Tis not I that shall kill thee, but the other way around."
While Zapp tried to make sense of his words, his dour surroundings reshaped themselves into the deck of a space shuttle. He looked around and beheld panicked passengers in every aisle, crying with fear as sword-bearing cutthroats compelled them to give up their belongings.
Balalaika drew a cutlass from his belt and tossed it to Zapp, who deftly caught it. The pirate then magically pulled another cutlass from the same sheath. "Their fate be in yer hands," he told Zapp. "Kill me, and they live."
"Whatever game you have in mind," said Zapp as he stepped aside for a pirate to pass, "I won't play it. Now get me out of here."
Balalaika responded by raising his sword, aiming it at a small, terrified boy in one of the seats, and chopping off the youngster's head with one thrust.
Horrified, Zapp covered his eyes with his hand. "It's not real!" he shouted in disgust. "It's an illusion!"
"Help us, Captain Brannigan!" he heard a woman squeal. There was a piercing scream, a slight gurgle, and then silence.
Zapp looked through two of his fingers. Balalaika was holding his blade to a little girl's throat with one hand, suspending her by her long golden hair with the other hand, and gloating with his face. "Kill me, ye lily-livered swab!" he called out mockingly. "Kill me, or watch 'em all die horribly!"
Tears of despair burst out of Zapp's eyes. "It's not real…it's not real…" he muttered, but the cries of fear and pain would not be muffled. He was involuntarily reminded of the massacre on Antares II, which he and Kif had arrived too late to prevent. Bodies everywhere…dead children laid next to their dead mothers…if only we'd come sooner…
"Captain Brannigan, do something! They'll kill us all!"
A surge of anger and resentment passed through Zapp's heart. I won't let it happen again, he thought. Never again…
Without thinking, he hoisted the cutlass skyward, flew at Balalaika with an unearthly roar, and skewered the pirate from head to crotch.
Zapp panted. His heart thumped fiercely. The remains of his foe were nowhere to be seen. That was a little too easy, he thought. I don't think he's really gone. Felt good, though.
"Thank you, Captain Brannigan," gushed a teenage girl. "You're my hero."
The scene changed, and he was aboard a small cargo ship, zooming over the towers of a large city. He could hear nothing but a klaxon bell and the confused cries of men and women. In front of him, three armed cutthroats confronted a four-armed alien guard. "Hand over the gold or we'll bathe ourselves in yer blood," demanded one of the pirates, who was unmistakably Balalaika.
Indignation once again rose up in Zapp's soul. "All right," he said, gripping his sword and marching forward, "I can keep doing this as long as you can."
Which apparently wasn't long, for when Leela awoke and sat up, she saw with her blurred vision that the Fossitron was empty.
"Oh…my head," she moaned. "I feel like I tried to apply makeup with a jackhammer."
"Good to have you back, Leela," said Foss. The professor's expression indicated a complete lack of malice. "You'll be happy to know that Delta's in perfect working order. She was a little frantic after I reattached her head, so I had to put a restraining bolt on her."
"Why am I still alive?" asked Leela as she swung her legs around. "Krandok should've killed me after what I did."
"I convinced him you were actually trying to kill Captain Brannigan," Foss told her.
Leela leaped to the floor, then gave the scientist a quizzical look. "Why are you protecting me?" she demanded to know.
"Come into the matrix with me, and I'll tell you," offered Foss.
As Leela allowed the helmet to cover her head, the throbbing pain vanished. She felt grass underneath her feet, and saw rolling plains covered with wildflowers in every direction. The sky was cloudless, and the sun shone warmly. It's even more beautiful than real life, she thought.
Foss materialized a few feet away. "Here we are," he said, his face giving off a peaceful glow. "Now, what was your question again?"
"Yes," said Leela. "The question. You know I came here to rescue Zapp. You know I tried to kill Krandok. Yet you're hiding this from your captain. Why?"
Foss stepped forward and took the cyclops gently by the hand.
"Haven't you guessed?" he said. "I love you, Leela."
To be continued