Happy Saturday. Thank you for your patience waiting for this chapter. MaggieMay19 and I did some of our best work on it, and we both hope you enjoy it.
Jadey xxx
Chapter Thirty-Three
Sam couldn't believe what Nick was saying. He never imagined Nick would stand up and tell the truth. A part of him was grateful for it, but the other part was furious Nick had not said anything sooner, when it seemed he had remembered who he really was from the moment he woke. Selfish was Lucifer's middle name, and apparently Nick had seized on that part of him.
Although, as he told himself, Nick could not have stopped him from leaving his world. Sam had been toying with the idea right from the start, when Chuck brought him back from the dead, and committed to leaving since he discovered Gabriel was alive. Still, Nick had spent the last few months pretending to be Dean's brother when he had known the truth.
"No!" Chuck said angrily. "I put too much into this for you to screw it up now. You deserve the life I gave you, and Sam deserves what he's got here." He threw up his hands. "And it's not like he's got it forever. I'm not going to stand in the way of his plan to end it."
"End it?" Dean swallowed hard and fixed imploring eyes on Sam. "Sammy, were you really going to kill yourself?"
"No," Sam said, and he saw a look of exquisite relief cross Dean's face. "I was going to become mortal and use my grace to create a paradise here for the survivors to live free. I was going to die, but not yet."
"But you could have lived forever," Dean said, as though he couldn't understand why Sam would not want that.
Sam felt anger rise in him again. "I would have lived forever without my family! I wouldn't have had you or Mom or Jack. It would have been me and Cas in this place forever, alone."
"What am I, chopped liver?" Gabriel grumbled quietly.
"But you could have come back, had me and Mom again, we're still your family," Dean said plaintively.
Sam's hands clenched. "No, I couldn't, because you have Lucifer!"
Dean turned to Nick, and Sam saw the conflict in his eyes. He still loved Nick, even though he knew the truth, because that was how Chuck had designed things to be.
"Enough of this!" Chuck snapped. "Lucifer, you are going back to your own world with Dean, and you are going to live the life you want. I am not having you screw up what I did."
Nick shook his head. "How are you going to stop me?"
Chuck looked annoyed. "Don't think I won't wipe you again, Nick, because I will. The world is what I made it to be. You have what I want you to have. You're going to live with it and be happy!" The way he said it sounded like a threat.
"Why would you do this?" Dean asked, his voice a mixture of anger and sadness. "You took Sam away from me and gave me…"
"A brother," Chuck said. "Don't give me crap about what I did to you because you had a brother you loved. You still love him. You can't lie to me, Dean. You love Nick."
Dean looked like the words were burning him, but he nodded and bowed his head. "I do."
"Which is hurting him," said a new voice.
Sam looked around and saw Amara approaching their group. Her eyes were on Dean, her focus his pain, but her words were directed to Chuck. "You're hurting Dean, brother."
Chuck shrugged. "He's hurting now, but that's not going to last. I'm going to fix it."
"Then do it," Sam said, voice wrecked. "Get it over with."
He had no expectations that Chuck would give him back the life he craved; he would never have his family, so he wanted it over with. He wanted Dean to go, to never see him again, so Sam could get rid of the archangel grace and finish whatever life he had left here with Castiel and the Apocalypse survivors while Dean moved on with Nick, Jack and Mary.
Perhaps Chuck would be kind to them and remove both Sam and Lucifer from their memories. They could live happily together, never knowing the truth. Sam would remember, he was sure Chuck would want to prolong his own suffering, but he could live with that for what remained of a human life with Castiel at his side.
Glancing at Castiel Sam realized with a jolt that he was an angel again. Jack must have persuaded Cas to take back his grace. Jack had said he needed to talk with Sam – it had to be about this. Sam looked at Jack. The boy had loved him, once, but Castiel was the father that really counted. Jack hadn't regained memories of Sam like Dean and Mary had when Sam died. It hurt, but Sam couldn't blame Cas for choosing to be with Jack rather than staying here to die with him. It was a blow, but Sam would still have Gabriel. The other humans here had all lost everything because of divine intervention: the people of Apocalypse World had more in common with Sam than Dean did now. They would have paradise to start over in. He and other human hunters could keep these people safe from whatever threats remained outside their borders. Or he could farm, or do… anything. Life as a normal human was finally open to him. Though Sam would not have the rest of his family, he could still have a second chance in this world that had lost so much, with the doppelgangers of people he had lost back on his own world.
He might find a way to be happy without his family.
"No," Nick said. "You can't. I don't want this."
Chuck smirked. "What makes you think that comes into it?"
"Perhaps it does not," Amara said. "But what I want does. I told you I would not allow you to hurt Dean, and you're hurting him now. I will not let you violate his mind again, and I will not allow you to tear his family apart."
"Nick is his family!" Chuck said emphatically. "You know he is."
"But I'm not, not really," Nick insisted miserably. "Sam is his family."
Chuck glared at the Winchesters in turn and then looked at Amara and softened his face. "I will make Dean happy, sister. He doesn't need to know what he's lost. He can have a brother he loves."
"But it would not be the right brother," Amara said.
Chuck's face transformed with fury. "I get to decide that."
"No," Nick said. "I do."
"Nicky," Dean said miserably, and then his eyes moved to Sam, and a tear slipped down his cheek. "Sammy."
"Look what you're doing to him," Amara said, the words bitten off and angry. "He's in pain."
"He's just confused," Chuck said dismissively.
"Brother, I am giving you one chance to make it right, and then I will do it for you," Amara said.
Chuck looked mutinous, and Gabriel spoke up. "C'mon, Dad. You've done some really shitty things over the millennia, but this is way up there on the list. Why are you still committed to it? Hasn't Sam suffered enough for you yet? Even Lucifer wants you to make it right, which is a pretty huge deal when you consider his moral compass." Chuck rounded on him.
"Gabriel, the weak little runaway," Chuck sounded savagely contemptuous. "You hid from responsibility for millennia and now you think you'll step in and take my place in this world? The moral coward thinks he can instruct me about morality? Nick wants to make it right," Chuck said angrily. "He isn't Lucifer anymore. Don't you see what I did for him?"
"I'm not Micky or Rafe, Pop," Gabriel replied mildly. "I know I'm a hot mess, but I'm not looking for your approval any more than you want mine. I'm not rebelling like poor old Luci, either: I don't need your love, I already like myself the way I am. Everyone has to live somewhere, that's all I'm doing here. I just thought I'd fill the void that you left, in this little backwater of a world where the story was so dull that you never came back to watch. If you'd rather retire, settle down here and fill that void yourself for the rest of eternity then be my guest." Gabriel made an expansive gesture, then smiled at Chuck's sour expression. "I do see what you did for Lucifer," Gabriel went on, quietly, "and I see what you did to Sam."
"Brother…" Amara said, her voice a warning.
"What do you expect me to do?" Chuck asked, throwing his arms into the air.
"Give Dean back his real memories," Nick said. "Give everyone back their memories."
Chuck narrowed his eyes. "You'll lose everything, you know that. You will be Lucifer to them again."
"Maybe not," Gabriel said. "They might see the changes, too. He really isn't Lucifer any more, after all."
"Please," Nick said.
Chuck groaned. "Fine. You want to screw your life up, I won't stop you. You want to say your last goodbyes?"
Nick shook his head. "No. It's better this way."
"No!" Dean shouted. "It's not. You don't get to just snap out of my life, Nick."
Nick looked on the verge of tears, but he forced a smile and said, "Okay. This is goodbye then. Thanks for… everything."
Dean stared at him, tears streaking down his cheeks, and then strode forward and threw his arms around him.
Sam watched them embrace for what should be the last time, but he did not think it was. He didn't believe Chuck would really make things right. He would do something to Sam to screw it all up, he knew. Maybe Dean would forget Nick, but he would not remember Sam. Chuck was far too cruel to allow Sam to be happy.
Nick clung to Dean, hiding his face and his shoulders shaking. Sam looked away, watching Chuck watch them with a look of extreme annoyance. Then Chuck snapped his fingers, and there was a gasp, a sob, and Dean shouted. "Lucifer!"
Dean shoved Nick away, face contorted with anger, and Nick's face fell into lines of pain.
Sam saw the pain on Nick's face and knew he should relish the fact that Dean no longer saw him as a brother. The problem was that the pain in Nicks' face was a mirror of the pain Sam had felt for months, and no one, not even Lucifer, deserved to feel that.
Sam grabbed Dean's shoulder, pulled him away from Nick, and touched his fingers to Dean's temple, sending him to sleep. He caught him and lowered him gently to the ground.
"Thank you, Sam," Nick said.
It was on the tip of Sam's tongue to say he did not do it for him, but that would be a lie. It was Nick's pain he wanted to spare.
"Thank you, Father," Nick said, voice choked as he looked at Chuck.
Chuck rolled his eyes. "Sure, that you thank me for."
"What happens next?" Jack asked. "Do I take Dean back? Do I take Sam?"
"Do you remember me?" Sam asked Jack. Jack glanced at Chuck.
"I think I forgot you because I had almost no grace left when you were switched with Lucifer. I have Castiel's memories, now, and I know the truth, but I don't remember you." Jack looked up at Sam. "Yet."
Sam looked in Jack's eyes, hope surging through him. "Yet?"
"I think you don't know how you gave Castiel his memories back. May I?" Jack asked, and when Sam nodded, puzzled, Jack walked to him and gently brushed his fingers over Sam's temple as he said, "That's how it worked for Cas. Now you can give me my memories back, if you want."
Sam raised his own hand, then hesitated. "Do you want me to?"
"Yes," Jack replied simply, then held out his hand and grasped Sam's. "I don't want to forget anything."
Light surged brightly over their joined hands as Sam directed his own grace into Jack's mind in the way Jack had just shown him. For a moment in the calm that came afterwards he felt Jack's true form through the handshake: the familiar sense of home that was grace but also a profound sense of something very unfamiliar. Jack really was a unique being. Even Chuck and Amara had someone like them in the universe, but Jack was utterly alone…
Jack let go Sam's hand. "It's okay, Sam. I'm not lonely: I have my family."
Sam glanced at him, unsure whether he would see the affection of their bond or indifference, and was pleased to see that Jack was smiling at him. It had been so long since he'd seen Jack looking at him like that; it made a warmth fill his chest.
"You know me?" he asked, needing to be sure.
Jack smiled wider, then gave Sam a hug. Jack was strong, stronger even than Gabriel – and Sam hugged him back without restraint. "I do. You're Sam Winchester. You're one of my fathers."
Sam released him and beamed.
"Jack?" Amara cut in."You ought to take Dean back soon, but Sam needs to stay here a little longer and so should you, I think."
"Can I stay, too?" Castiel asked.
Amara nodded. "Yes, I think Sam will need you."
Confused and a little worried, Sam moved closer to Castiel, so his wings brushed his back.
"Now, Sam, you have a choice," Amara said. "You are an archangel, and—"
"I don't want to be one," Sam said quickly. "Give my grace to Nick. Use it to create a new home for these people. Do anything but don't leave it with me."
"Nick should not have it," Castiel said, hie eyes narrowed.
"Nope," Gabriel agreed. "He's changed, sure, but he shouldn't have full power again in case Nick slips and Lucifer takes over the reins again."
"It's his!" Chuck said angrily. "It belongs to him."
"I don't want it," Nick said. "I don't want forever without my family."
Sam felt an unwilling pang for Nick as that was exactly how he himself had felt about life as an archangel without Dean and the others. It felt wrong to have sympathy for Nick, but he did. Nick was in pain now he'd lost Dean, and Sam had lived through that pain himself not so long ago.
"Listen to what you're saying, Nick," Chuck snapped.
"I think that's enough, brother," Amara said, clasping her hands on her waist and then bringing them up, palm out, to Chuck. She flexed her fingers, and black smoke spread from her hand to Chuck, surrounding him in a cloud.
"You've done your damage," Amara went on, serenely. "I think you need a… what's the phrase, Gabriel?"
Gabriel smirked. "A time out."
Amara nodded. "Exactly."
The cloud containing Chuck rose into the air.
"No!" Sam said. "You can't kill him! It'll unbalance the universe!"
"I'm not killing him," Amara said. "I'm merely sending him away. Jack, would you help me?"
"What do you want?" Jack asked.
"A place he can do no harm."
Jack smiled, and Sam guessed he now bore his own grudge against Chuck. He went to Amara, touched her arm, and then narrowed his eyes. In the path of his gaze a rift opened, and the smoke holding Chuck moved towards it.
"See ya, Pop," Gabriel said cheerfully, and Nick watched with sad eyes.
The smoke disappeared, and the rift closed. Amara's eyes settled on Jack.
"I am your family, too, Jack," she began. "After meeting your father and grandfather I can understand if you don't want to get to know me better, but–"
"No, I would like that," Jack replied. "You care about Dean, and he is someone I care about, too." Amara smiled.
"You can take Dean back home now," she said. "Sam and Castiel will be there soon."
Jack nodded, bent, and placed his hand on Dean's arm. His wings spread, and they took flight away.
"You do not want your grace?" Amara asked.
"I really don't." Sam took a deep breath, then picked up the vial again and said, "Cas, would you take it for me?" He held out his own blade, knowing it would take an archangel blade to draw the grace.
"Are you sure?" Castiel asked.
"I am."
Castiel nodded and pressed the tip of the blade to Sam's throat. There was a stinging slice, a trickle of blood, and then Sam saw the grace bleeding out of him and into the vial. As it left him, a wave of lethargy swept over Sam, and his head swam dizzily. He thought he was going to drop, but Gabriel propped him up with an arm and grinned.
"You make quite the swooning damsel, Sam," he said.
Sam laughed softly. "Yeah, I guess I do."
Castiel capped the vial and handed it to Gabriel, who tucked it in his pocket before asking, "And you Cas? You still want to give yours up?"
Castiel shook his head. "No. I will not leave Jack alone for eternity."
Sam exhaled a sigh of relief. He didn't want Jack to be alone either.
"What about you, Nick?" Amara asked. "What do you want?"
Nick looked at Gabriel, his eyes wary, and said, "Can I stay? I don't want to go back to that world without my family."
Gabriel pretended to consider for a moment, then he grinned and said, "Sure, of course. You're still my brother. A human Luci would be nice to have around. You're way more mellow than you used to be, and we don't have to worry about any pesky apocalypses."
Nick looked stung, but he nodded and said, "Thank you, brother."
Gabriel's look softened. "You got skills the world here needs, Nick Winchester, even after I kick-start paradise. You can make a good life here, if you want. You have more in common with the people on this world than you think. And I'm never gonna abandon you."
Nick wiped his hand down his face and cleared his throat. "Thanks, Gabe," he said, quieter but much less stiffly.
"Will you be content alone in this world, Gabriel?" Amara asked. "Your brother is mortal now."
"I'll be fine," Gabriel replied. "There's people to watch over, angels to keep busy, hell to keep an eye on. In a few years there'll be porn stars and orgies again. I'll drop in on one or two… hundred… each year to stop me getting bored." Gabriel grinned. "Turns out I like people, and I'm much easier to please than Dad."
"And the humans that surround us?"
"All they know is there's been a delay to kickstarting paradise. I wanted to keep things private for Sam and Cas."
"Then everything is decided," Amara said. "You will take care of your brother and make paradise on this world. My brother cannot escape the world he is in until Jack and I allow it, if we ever do."
"Where is he?" Sam asked.
Amara smiled. "I believe you and Dean called it The Bad Place."
Sam huffed a laugh. The idea of Chuck there for an eternity appealed to him immensely.
"Can we go home now?" Castiel asked. "Sam and I, can we go back to our family?"
"Well, it's going to be a little more complicated for you two," Gabriel said. "You're going into a whole new world. Things happened that shouldn't have happened, and other things didn't."
"What does that mean?" Sam asked. "Will my mom still be alive?"
Gabriel smiled and snapped his fingers. "You'll see."
Sam felt a heaviness wash over him, and his legs gave way. He dropped to the ground, collapsing onto the dirt, and then warmth filled him; his eyes drifted closed, and he was gone.
So… We're here at last. Dean knows the truth, and Sam will go back to his home with his family his again. Nick will have Gabriel and a human life to experience. We just have the epilogue to tie things off, and then my latest SPN story will be done.
Until next time…
Jadey xxx