Disclaimer: I don't own anything!
Author's Note: I've been on a small Harry Potter obsession—they happen from time to time—and I've been sketching and reading just about all day (In between math lessons, of course). I think that, reading those books and the fanfics out there gives me a better perception on the transition from boy to teenager in a wartime.
-/-/-/-
God gives us dreams a size too big so that we can grow in them.
~Author Unknown
-/-/-/-
Now that Kratos—and Yuan, but the teachers didn't care about him—was fifteen, he was worked harder than ever. On his fighting skills in particular. Often, he didn't even get a chance to have dinner. He simply shuffled into their room, mechanically toed off the muddy shoes and flopped onto the bed without a word.
His grades were slipping—or, they had been until Yuan took over. It wasn't difficult for him to recreate Kratos' scrawl on the strategy essays and to make his eights more than a little lopsided and his two's to have a curl rather than a straight edge. Their weekends were often filled with making up whatever work they'd missed—which was a lot when they were so busy.
Yuan knew something was wrong the moment Kratos shuffled in the room, shutting the door with his shoulder. It wasn't anything he could see, not really. It was just something about the heaviness in his face and the look in his eyes.
"What happened?"
Kratos glanced up, startled. Like he'd forgotten Yuan was there, though it was well after sunset. "You're here."
"I'm always here." Yuan crossed the small room in a few strides. "What happened?"
Kratos subtly shifted his shoulders. "What do you mean?"
"Something's wrong."
Kratos shook his head. "It's just been a long day."
"Liar." Yuan grabbed for Kratos' hand, which had been hidden behind his back since the moment he entered the room. "…Hellsfire, what happened?"
Kratos let Yuan inspect his bloody hands. "Nothing. They just worked me harder than usual today."
Yuan glared up at him briefly before narrowing his eyes at the open calluses and blisters along Kratos' hands. "When did this open up?"
"'Bout this afternoon."
"And you didn't get this looked at?"
"They wouldn't have let me. You know them."
Yuan rolled his eyes. "Sit. I'm going to get water. Damn hands are probably already infected." He grabbed the small bowl and a hand towel before leaving the room. Kratos could imagine him still grumbling as he went down the hall to the bathroom.
When Yuan returned, he sat cross-legged by Kratos on the bed. Dipping the towel into the warm water, he carefully—and gently, despite the curses still being muttered under his breath—cleaned out the sores. Kratos winced at the sting and at the sensation of the rough cloth against sensitive skin, but Yuan holds his hand steady as he works.
"There's no herbs or anything. I know some of the women back home used to put some on cuts and things, but this'll have to do." Yuan said finally when he was done with his verbal bringing down of the military school system and idiot teachers in general. "I managed to swipe some bandages from the infirmary though."
Yuan's hands were clumsy with the bandages, but the job got done. Once one hand was finished, Yuan moved on to the next one.
"…Why didn't you want to tell me about this?" Yuan asked quietly, glancing up at Kratos from beneath his bangs.
Kratos shrugged a little. "Didn't want you to worry. You've had enough on your plate."
"And you haven't?"
Kratos didn't have a response to that.
"When's the last time you ate?"
"…Breakfast, probably." Kratos waited for the incoming small explosion of mutterings to renew.
"You're an idiot." Yuan told him flatly. "Why didn't you take an apple or something?"
"Didn't think about it."
There was something about 'humans' and 'useless brains', but Kratos didn't catch the rest of it. "After this, I'm getting you some leftovers from the kitchens and I'm not gonna let you sleep until you eat it all. Understand?"
Kratos snorted with laughter, though he knew that Yuan's threat was very real. "Yessir."
"...Have they mentioned anything to you?" Yuan asked.
Kratos didn't need to ask him to elaborate. He knew to what he was referring. "No, they haven't."
They had both seen the students who left and hadn't come back. Occasionally, there was mention of a letter or two sent to a friend still in school, but for the most part, no one heard anything from them. There were readings of the newspapers in the morning over breakfast, searching for names and a collective feeling of relief when no one's name was found. None of their names, at any rate.
"The old man's worried about you, you know." Yuan told him. "He says that you're too good at fighting for them to ignore for long."
"I-I don't want to go. I don't want to fight." Kratos had heard the news, had heard the other students talking casually about what they would do to the enemy (They're not enemies, Kratos wants to shout sometimes, but he knows that no one will listen.)
Yuan stilled. "I know. If you're so set against it…we could run."
"Yuan, we've been over this. Where would we go?"
"Wherever the wind takes us. We'll find food when we get hungry and work when we need money."
"You just want to wander around forever?"
"We don't have many options right now, Kratos. Once you're in the war, you're in it. You know that as well as I do. If you desert, then you'd be worse off than we are right now. No half-elf would even think to help you at all."
"So, what, you're saying we run to the half-elven lands? They'll know that I'm not one of them, Yuan!" Kratos read the thoughts flashing like lightning through Yuan's eyes. "No…it'll never work."
"Yes it could! You can be one of those half-elves who look more like their human parent! My brother was like that! You could barely tell he was a half-elf at all!"
"I can't use magic!"
"Neither can most half-elves! Well, no big magic anyway. Not any that would be useful on a battlefield. It was mostly little spells, like for lighting candles or protecting the sheep."
Kratos stared at his best friend. "You never told me that."
"It never came up."
"I thought all half-elves could do magic."
"I don't think it's a lack of ability. Knowing how to do magic involves being able to read."
Kratos' heart shivered. Knowing that you had the ability to do something so amazing and yet never being able to…that had to be the worst feeling in the world. "So then…where would you learn? To do magic?"
"I dunno. The capital, I guess. I've heard that there are mages there."
Kratos studied his best friend. "…You want to learn magic, don't you?"
Yuan nodded a little helplessly. "I-I don't know how to explain it. I can…I can feel it. It's like…it's under my skin and it's…Dammit, this is hard to explain." He ran a frustrated hand through his hair. "…You know when you suddenly don't feel like being inside anymore? When you have to go outside to walk around or just get out of the room?"
Kratos nodded.
"That's what it feels like, but it never goes away just by going outside."
"…That's where we'll go." Yuan blinked at Kratos in confusion. "When—if—we ever run away from here, we'll go there. To the capital so you can learn magic."
Yuan was looking at him the same way he'd looked at him when Kratos had offered to teach him how to read; with amazement and disbelief. "Are you sure?"
"Of course!" Kratos wasn't so sure about the half-elves' welcome of him, but he couldn't very well let Yuan go alone, now could he?
