Disclaimer: I don't own FE and whatever. JOIN THE DARK SIDE.

JOIN THE DARK SIDE.

THE 10 COMMANDMENTS OF FE8: SACRED STONES

Thou must be truly a courageous, powerful, cool-headed, intelligent, and kickass lord before you can attempt to storm a castle filled with enemies that have a ratio of 8 to 1, them to your men. And your 'forces' include a hippie, the hippie's best friend, and a traitorous necrophiliac of a Jeigan.
Thou must choose to either be controlled by: generic overpowering evil overlord 15789 when God favors the hot light blue haired chick, or generic manipulative evil overlord 142 when God favors said kickass lord of the first commandment who happens to be said hot chick's twin brother. It doesn't really matter either way, because you'll get your ass handed to you on a silver platter either way. By shiny, sharp, and pointy stuff.
Thou must choose between the neutral or dark side of magic when thou art powerful enough JOIN THE DARK SIDE, but be careful JOIN THE DARK SIDE, for becoming a JOIN THE DARK SIDE shaman will maketh thee JOIN THE DARK SIDE wear very ugly robes.
Thou must be a master of the way of the cocky bastard, brother of an elite Pegasus knight, prince and future king of a nation, a master of archery and...smart stuff, before thou can even call thyself worthy of being the rival of said kickass lord in the first commandment.
Thou must fear the ever-changing shapes of the swords, axes, and lances thy wieldeth. For example, the Audhulma will look very stupid and weak and dinky in the hands of a rogue, assassin, or swordmaster. However, in the hands of a general, IT'S A FRIKKIN BUSTER SWORD!
Thou shalt call thyself a prodigy when thou hast a photographic memory, 1337 magic and luck, unbelievable cockiness and weirdness, a craving for knowledge, no sense of fashion, and the willingness to try out anything to find out what it feels/looks/etc like. Ross, Artur, Kyle, HINT, HINT, NUDGE, NUDGE.
Thou shalt stay in thy castle in the event of an unexpected emergency siege by a recently peaceful and quiet nation to negotiate with said nation's leaders while you let your children run free to do stuff. And after that, you get annihilated for being stupid.
Thou shalt, in case the above DOES happen, unlikely as it is, have an emergency plan for the above situation. It shall involve your kickass lord of a son being already out in the wild, kicking ass, and your hot short-skirt wearing chick of a daughter stuck in the castle with you, only to get rescued by the 1337est Jeigan to ever exist anywhere.
Thou shalt make sure that your wife is REALLY your wife, not just some cheap, yet VERY realistic, imitation sex toy. Necrophilliac traitorous Jeigan, I'm talking to you.
Thou shalt never gamble with those on the side of good, especially if thou hast horrible luck, an awesome hat, and art the prince of a mercenary nation. Simply because thou shalt always lose.
MUAHAHAHAHAHA. JOIN THE DARK SIDE. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.

R&R!