Disclaimer: I don't own FE and stuff

To LaoWhoMai: Read my other humor fic called What Idiots Are Made Of; the chapter regarding Marcus has an explanation. But if you're too lazy to do a few clicks, Jeigan, as in the character, is a prepromote from one of the earliest FE's. He comes in at the very first chapter with your lord, and has uberly good stats, but terrible growth rates. Not only that, he hogs EXP that's meant for your weaker units in the earlier chapters. Jeigan is usually only used as a meatshield, target softener, and rescuer in the earlier chapters when most of your characters are wimps. 'Jeigans' are called that because they have the same attributes (stats and growth rates are different, but very similar) as the original Jeigan. Seth, from Sacred Stones, is like a half-Jeigan; his starting stats are mediocre, but his growth rates rock, although he does come in at the prologue. Marcus is probably the most well known Jeigan in North America; correct me if I'm wrong.

To Etsuko Nino: Serra...NOT THAT BAD? What are you on? Can I have some of what you're on?

THE 10 COMMANDMENTS OF FE 6: SEALED SWORD

Thou shalt dodge/survive 1900 attacks attempted towards your supply caravan in order to make thee have uber blackmarketing skillz. And make the huge ass thing somehow untouchable.
Thou shalt make sure, when looking for a new career, that thine teacher isn't a retarded excuse of a merchant/pirate, nor can she be a slutty little dancer. For both shalt make thee look very idiotic.
Thou shalt be careful with thine new recruits that have the 'Nino' syndrome (Wendy, Lilina, Sophia), for they shalt suck horribly in battle until trained properly, and will make thee restart thine game hundreds of times when they die. And yes, we have seen this happen.
Thou must be a redheaded pyromaniac in order to use the greatest weapon to ever grace the face of the earth and totally molest the final boss, in 2 swings.
Thou shalt fear the almighty (fat feathered turkey) of a(n underaged) dragon that is FAZILLA!
Thou shalt never send thine retards, generals, and possibly every other existing melee unit into the range of a berserk spell. That's Lilina's and Sophia's job.
Thou must NEVER, EVER, EVER, marry a prepromoted paladin of Ilia, especially if you both met on the battlefield, and especially if thou hast 2 younger sisters, and especially if thou hast PURPLE HAIR!
Thou shalt never return that purple haired idiot's Resire tome if thou art the evil twin brother of some naïve idiot. Especially if the purple haired idiot has an insane hermit of a granny, and SERIOUSLY, don't even think about it, if that Resire tome is actually hers. It's more fun to watch the idiot get pummeled by an old woman's heal staff.
Thou shalt stay away from thine seemingly civilized father, who in fact was a total retard in the past, for if thou art a teenager, he shalt make thee very embarrassed. And REALLY try to avoid a meeting between thee, him, and thine Ilian cavalier boyfriend. For the results won't be pretty.
Thou shalt give up thine desire for blood, only to show the world thine more 'Yoda'-ish side. Just without the Jedi skills. But, on the other hand, thou CAN show the world thine uber Wo Dao skills. Just make sure not to stab with it, for then the laws of FE physics shall be broken and thine universe shall collapse.
R&R!