The years will pass, but the memory of you will forever live in my mind, my heart, my soul. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you. Sometimes, if I close my eyes and think hard enough, I can see an image of you in my mind's eye; the expression on your face was the happiest I had ever seen on you, and the light in your eye warms me to the core. That was the day you overthrew your father, and saved the world.
Like a blackened rose, you were always beautiful. But one day, you were corrupted; something got into you, and you believed the lies that your mind fed you.
Sometimes I feel like you're still here with us; I can swear I hear your voice. Maybe it's because of the mind meld. Possibly, a part of you still lives on in me. I can only wish and hope that this is true, but dreams are often left mere dreams.
While rummaging through your room, I found your diary. A leather bound, red book with a gold impression of a raven on it. The pages were stained with blood, and the words that I read off the pages were dark and depressing. Beautiful poems filled some of the diary, but most of it was dedicated to your feelings at the time.
The darkness had always been lurking inside of you, Raven, but it wasn't until after Trigon that it began to swallow you up. Slowly, you allowed the raging emotions inside of you to get the better of you, and you felt like you were losing control. New feelings aroused, all of them new to you, and it seemed like you would be unable to control those too. Soon, you felt like your powers were slowly slipping away…
As was your way, you kept this hidden from us, locked away inside of you. Bottling your emotions didn't help you Raven, but then again, neither did we. We weren't there for you; I wasn't there for you, and I will never forgive myself for that. I had every fucking sign, but I didn't want to believe. For my own selfish reasons, I didn't want to believe. I needed you for my own petty emotional problems, and you couldn't have been anymore depressed than me. I should of taken your hand; I could have shown you the light.
For a while, I thought things were doing all right. I thought that I had finally leaded you a step in the right direction. The day I forced you to eat, I thought I was doing right. And I was, I guess. I meant good, and only good, but the results ended horribly. I pushed that night, pushed you to the edge of your insanity. The kiss that we shared probably only confused you, and if I'm right, that was also no help. Not that kiss didn't mean anything. I love you more than I love myself…more than life itself, even.
When you died, a part of me died. The eyes I hide behind this mask became darker, hollower, less soulful. I became less of a person, I believe; you were my guiding light, constantly keeping me from sinking…And I should have been yours. You were weakened, vulnerable, and I saw that. I saw you going down, but I didn't even try to help you. Only when you were at your weakest did I try to assist you, to save you from the darkness.
You were always there for me, but I feel as if I wasn't there for you enough. I loved you, and I always wanted you to feel the same, but I didn't show my true feelings. I wanted to show you that I loved you, and sometimes, I did. But most of the times, you were blind to my feelings…I didn't allow you to see them…I was a mask towards you, and for awhile, I thought that I loved Starfire, but I was wrong. Starfire is shallow, superficial. There's nothing underneath her, no inner beauty, no depth, nothing. What you see is what you get.
The day I found you were meant to be mine was a day I'll never forget. You were sitting on the roof, not meditating, but you were looking out over the edge into the sparkling blue water. The sun was setting and a gentle wind was blowing, caressing your cheek and ruffling your hair. I walked a little closer to join you, and I heard the most beautiful, ethereal music pouring out of your throat. The mood was right, and I fell in love. It seemed as if the whole world had stopped spinning, and then you looked at me. Those violet orbs full of soul and depth pierced through me, and I'm sure that a goofy smile painted my space. I sat down to you waited for you to begin singing again, but instead, you remained quiet.
I remember staring at you, daydreaming about things I would rather keep to myself. I yearned for you to begin singing again, but that never came. Instead, you looked at the city in silence, and as if you were a prophet you told me in a whisper that someone was going to die.
I didn't believe you; I didn't even think it would be possible that it would be you. I thought you meant a citizen…not one of us…
The weeks that followed that day, I remember staring at you more often, listening to you talk, watching you battle. Everything you did, I watched. And I fell more and more in love. After your defeat of Trigon, I think that's when I knew that you were the girl I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. The only problem was, you didn't notice me at all. You didn't notice my constant drooling over you or anything. We hadn't even been on a date, and I still wanted to marry you. I did, and I still do.
I was blinded by love, and despite the story of your depression folding out in front of me, I didn't believe. And it was love's fault.
Like a rose, you were beautiful, but everything withers away…And you withered away way too quickly. The love I felt for you will still live on…the memories of you still flash in my mind… The ghost of your memory still haunts me and always will… You are dead. I know that…but your memory still lives on…
Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans, never have, never will.
I feel like I repeat myself way too many times in this story, but I'll fix that later….I'm gonna write a revision of this after I finish…
Alright, review please…I love when ya'all do that! Flames are allowed, they are used to roast marshmallows! See ya guys next chapter!