Disclaimer: I don't own FE and whatever
THE 10 COMMANDMENTS OF CRITICAL ATTACKING
Thou shalt jump away from thine side of the screen, breaking the fourth wall and all laws of logic and reasoning, thus causing thee to move so quickly, thou art invisible. Then, thou shalt keep that speed for about 5 seconds as thou slices thine target into itsy bitsy bite sized pieces. (swordmasters)
Thou must gallop on thine horse at a maddening speed, yet stay on the same spot for 6 seconds until thou has attacked. (paladin)
Thou shalt be able to toss thine shield 10 feet right above thine opponent's head, catch it in midair at high speeds, and strike down stylishly at an even higher speed. (hero)
Thou must be able to make thine horse jump very high and only a short distance, without any running starts, while carrying a 100 kg sword on one hand, and hitting stuff with it. (Eliwood)
Thou must wave thine hands madly like an idiot, but actually forming a pattern with it, while walking backwards, and while thine hands are crackling with electricity. (sage)
Thou must swing thine axe and pose for 1 second in such a way that says, "I'm gonna hit you hard, so it's best that you don't move if you want this as quick and painless as possible" (journeyman)
Thou shalt fly into the background and foreground, thus again breaking the laws of in game physics, that thou shalt confuse thine opponent into not moving as thou impale him with thine lance/sword after circling the screen 3 dimensionally twice. (all flyers, I think)
Thou shalt split into 3 images of thyself, thus giving thine enemy a better view of thine sexy legs. (Lyn)
Thou shalt break dance. The world has yet to see the breaking power of the dance.
Thou shalt only critical attack those enemies with terrible luck (almost all of them).
MUAHAHAHA! SUGAR IS GOOD!
R&R!