Hello lovelies!

First of all: due to my inabillity to update regularly on fridays, I think it is best that I'll just say "an update on every second weekend - somewhere between Fr - Mo." I hope that is okay with you.

For more details on my update-shedue (and to hear me apologising all the time) you can check out my tumblr lucretiadelis. It's not much, but if you wanna talk, you can reach me easily there.

A lot of thanks for your support. Reviews and comments are life! You make me incredibly happy by leaving them. I love hearing what you think :)

And of course, a lot of thanks to my lovely betas Nantai and chocomieux.

"Earth to 'ermione! Is somebody there?" Gabrielle asked in almost perfect English, having lost the majority of her French accent in the past year she spend almost entirely in England. When Hermione didn't respond, she waved her hand in front of her face.

Hermione blinked owlishly at that, causing the other to laugh.

"I'm sorry. I got lost in thought," Hermione said, running a hand through her hair. To say that she was lost in thought was a major understatement. She had barely slept and couldn't concentrate since she had talked to Malfoy the previous afternoon. She was turning everything he said from one side to another in her head, trying to connect everything she knew about him with the things he had said to her as the Prince.

It was difficult. A lot of things he had said stood almost in direct contradiction to each other and she had trouble deciding on several occasions if he had lied to her as the Prince, or if his opinions had simply changed in the past years.

Hermione hated that Malfoy, of all people, had become a permanent resident in her mind. Anybody would have been better - even Zabini or Nott.

"I think it's enough for today," Hermione said, realizing that she was drifting away again. She got paid to tutor Gabrielle, for god's sake! She couldn't simply spend the whole lesson daydreaming.

"It's fine," Gabrielle smiled at her, causing a fair percentage of the young men in the cafeteria to fall in love with her in the process. Hermione was sure that this wasn't an exaggeration. She remembered the reactions her sister induced way too vividly. "I hope you get better soon."

"Thanks," Hermione said slowly, not really feeling like explaining that she wasn't sick, even though she might look like it. She had simply overslept and hadn't had the time to tame her hair in the morning a result of sleeping troubles she had thanks to a certain prick. It didn't help that she was on her period and therefore stuffed with painkillers, which usually gave her a slightly dazed look.

Hermione said goodbye to Gabrielle, who gathered her things and went off to god knows where, and groaned, burying her head in her arms. Her pullover was so soft against her face. She could have fallen asleep right on the spot, but she had already missed way too many lectures in the past few weeks and couldn't afford to miss more. She certainly couldn't guarantee, that she would be awake in time for the next one if she fell asleep now.

"Maybe I should talk to somebody," she mumbled to herself.

"About what?" an unmistakable voice said from behind her and Hermione almost screamed. In that moment she wasn't sure she hadn't, but as nobody was looking at her like she was crazy, it didn't seem to be the case.

"Can you give me a break?" she turned around in her seat.

Malfoy, who looked completely unfazed by the events of the previous day -a polar opposite to her, didn't seem too bothered by her glare. He must have grown immune to it in the past few years.

"I just wanted to make sure you were alright," he said, ignoring her question completely.

"What are you even doing here?" His arrogance was already getting on her nerves again and he wasn't standing there for five minutes yet.

"This is a university. I am here to study," Malfoy said in his usual tone and Hermione felt the sudden urge to stab him into the eye with a pen. It must have showed because he continued hastily. "It's raining outside so we can't go to our usual spot and Blaise refuses to go anywhere else because his shoes would get wet. Like he couldn't have expected rain at this time of the year. We are in bloody England."

Hermione didn't want to smile or show any sign of amusement over Zabini's antics, but the corners of her lips turned up anyways and Malfoy must have noticed, because he was smiling at her too.

"Do you want to join us?" he asked.

Hermione almost choked on her own spit and started to cough, tears shooting to her eyes.

"Why would you ask that?"

Malfoy shifted from one foot to another. He was clearly unhappy with how things were going, his cheeks flushed but there was something about him - quiet determination perhaps. "I thought you might be more comfortable with more people around, not just me."

Hermione sighed. She couldn't help it. She had to acknowledge he was trying. Too bad, that he obviously had, like, zero emotional intelligence. Even less than she had.

"You are aware that I don't like your friends for the same reasons I don't like you?"

"Really?" Malfoy looked genuinely surprised. "But it was me who bullied you?"

Just how hopeless was he? Hermione glanced at the table where they were sitting, catching Pansy's eye, who waved at her immediately with a self-satisfied smirk on her face. Malfoy must have told her, that her plan had worked.

Hermione looked away hastily, but not quickly enough to miss Zabini's suggestive eyebrow-wiggle.

"Sit down," she said in defeat. "Considering you seem to be extremely daft and bad at reading your surroundings," - 'Courtesy of you thinking you were the centre of the world for the majority of your youth', Hermione thought but didn't say, "I will explain to you what exactly my problem is."

Malfoy looked like an overexcited puppy when he pulled out the chair to sit down, sans the wriggling tail that would have completed the image, of course.

"Let's start with the most obvious one: Parkinson," Hermione said, busying herself with packing the study material she had used with Gabrielle so she didn't have to look at him. "She made a point of always supporting whatever crap you did and didn't miss an opportunity to bully people herself."

Draco glanced at Pansy, who was currently stuffing her mouth with Blaise's muffin, while he pouted very obviously. It was hard to tell what he has done to deserve such treatment and actually make Pansy do something so vulgar, but Draco was sure, Blaise deserved it.

Unfortunately, that was a fairly recent development. Pansy had been quite prejudiced during their school time, even though she hadn't been as terrible as he had.

"That's fair," he said and Granger looked up at him for a split second before returning to sorting her papers. They looked like English exercises. The girl she had been with probably wasn't British. He knew he had seen her before, but Draco couldn't put a name to the face even though he tried really hard. And asking wasn't really an option, considering the girl he tried to woo was sitting right in front of him and already had a very low self-esteem. He might be a prick and be not able to read a room, but he was good at knowing what hurt people, The bullying in his youth had given him this skill, even though he really wasn't proud of it.

"Zabini," Granger continued without missing a beat, "is just the kind of person who thinks he is better than anyone and let's you know it. He enjoys it to make people feel inadequate."

Draco wanted to protest, but he realized that neither Granger nor Blaise would appreciate it. Granger would think he wasn't taking her seriously and Blaise… Draco didn't consider it a good idea to spread around the issues his roommate had. He was extremely bad at dealing with anything resembling pity and Granger, if she ever considered forgiving him, them, would certainly annoy him to death with trying to help.

"What about Theo?" he asked instead.

"He's the most tolerable out of your close friends, but I don't know what he is thinking and honestly, if he chooses to spend his time with you lot, I have to be suspicious."

"Guilty by association then," Draco said, nodding slightly. He wasn't happy about what Granger thought about his friends, but he understood where she was coming from. That was the worst part if he was honest with himself: he couldn't be angry at her because she was a bitch to him. Her reactions make perfect sense if one considered their history.

He wasn't sure how often that thought has already shot through his mind, but it was getting tiresome. He felt like utter crap every time it did. The endless circle of self-hatred had been especially vicious recently.

Draco studied Granger for a moment. Her hair was tousled and she had deep blue circles under her eyes, which were remarkably bright considering her darker skin colour. She had to be really exhausted.

Draco wanted to offer to take notes for her in the following lectures so she could go home and rest, but when he opened his mouth, something entirely different came out.

"Am I really such a terrible person?" he asked and Granger's mouth fell open in surprise.

Draco wanted to take it back immediately, but it was already too late. He felt the tension between them and hoped sincerely that one of his friends would feel like annoying him and come over, despite him having asked them not to.

Unfortunately for him it seemed like they've decided that this was too important to be ruined like that.

"What? Why?" Granger asked in confusion.

Draco ran a hand over his face. His beginning stubble scratched his palm. He had been too lazy to shave that morning and honestly, his hair was too light to be visible this short.

"What 'what'?" he asked, even though he knew he was already way past playing it cool.

Granger frowned and pursed her lips. She looked like she couldn't decide between giving him an hour-long lecture and leaving him there to wallow in self-pity on his own.

"Why do you think you are a terrible person? And why do you think I do?"

"Does it matter?" Draco asked. "I should really leave you alone." He made to stand and leave but it seemed Granger was not having any of it.

"Sit down," she said in her most commanding voice, one he had heard her use only on Weasley before.

Of course, he sat down again.

They stared at each other, neither wanting to give in. Not even when Blaise came over to tell them they should be going or they would miss the next lecture did they budge.

Theo steered Blaise away, thank god for his fear of feelings and emotional confrontations, and soon, they were alone again. Naturally there were other students in the cafeteria, but nobody paid them any attention.

"If you really want to be friends you should be able to be honest to me," Granger said after what felt like eternity to Draco. "Talk."

"I will if you come to Pansy's party tomorrow evening with me," he replied, hoping that she would back down. He knew he was being a coward but he really wanted to flee. Just why did he have to be after Granger of all people?

"If the answer is worth it."

Hermione certainly didn't want to go to one of Parkinson's notorious home parties but this was going nowhere and she was sick of running away from Malfoy. Allowing weakness had gotten her nowhere - maybe scaring him would. He had always been a coward after all.

Hermione congratulated herself to her new plan as she waited for his answer. There was no way in hell he would present his weaknesses to her so openly.

The greater was her surprise when he actually started speaking.

"It always comes down to this, doesn't it?" he sighed. "I am at least partially responsible for what happened at school. And I am a bully. That should be reason enough for me to be considered a terrible person."

Somehow, Hermione felt like they've been going in circles since she had found out Malfoy was the Prince. She was trying to break out, but it didn't work either way. She wasn't able to push him away completely and trying to force him to talk always ended up in this. It was exhausting, it was stupid and it was leading nowhere.

"Stop," she said.

Malfoy blinked, cocking his head to the side, looking at her questioningly. Her words must have seemed weird to him, unfitting.

"I'll go to that stupid party with you. But I'll leave the second somebody makes fun of me. Understood?"

He nodded, clearly confused about what's gotten into her.

"Great. Text me the details." With that, Hermione stood up and walked out of the cafeteria. She had to force herself to walk slowly. The urge to run was too great.

Just what had gotten into her? She wasn't sure. Maybe it was her being fed up with having the tragedy from their school years having hanging over their heads. Maybe it was Malfoy showing sorrow over his past deeds once again. Maybe it was just her own confusion.

She had to admit he had become an enigma, a puzzle for her to solve and it was bad news. He wasn't bad too look at. He was actually rather good looking, having grown into his features over the years. And if he turned out to be a decent person and an interesting one on top of that… Hermione feared what that would mean.

She pulled out her phone and swiped the message from the Prince, Malfoy, away.

Instead she scrolled through her contacts until she found who she had been looking for.

The phone didn't even ring three times before she heard a very familiar voice.

"Hermione?"

She couldn't suppress a smile. It really had been too long since she had seen her best friend. "Hello Harry. I just wanted to ask if you wanted to come over this weekend?"

There was a brief pause, some rustling, before Harry answered. "Just me or Ron too?"

"You are asking because he is busy, aren't you?" Hermione asked, her expression having soured a bit. Despite their breakup, she still liked Ron, but Harry's constant need to try and force them to spend time together was getting on her nerves.

"I am fine with both. If he can't come, I would be happy to see just you. We haven't spend any real time together for ages."

"You're right. I'll be there Sunday at lunch-time? Does that work for you?"

Hermione had hoped that he would manage Saturday or earlier, but she was asking on a really short notice and Harry was, well, Harry. He always had his plate full.

"Sure. I'll cook something."

She could hear Ron make an unflattering comment about her cooking skills on the other side and rolled her eyes. She was well aware, that her food would probably never be as good as Molly's was, but she had other skills and making a perfect shepherd's pie certainly wasn't her life goal.

"Sounds great. I can't wait to see you again. Ron says hi."

"Say hi back to him. Me too. But I have to go now. Lessons and all. Bye."

Hermione hoped she didn't sound too annoyed. She didn't know why Ron's comments about her cooking skills always got under her skin but they did and it made her even more annoyed. Just another endless circle from hell. It seemed her life was full of them.

"Sure. See you."

She hung up, but instead of pocketing her phone, she stared at it for a long moment before scrolling through her contacts again. She really had the urge to talk with somebody about everything, but she didn't know with whom.

Hermione had called Harry, because he was the first person who had jumped into her mind, but Sunday seemed so far away.

She could call Ginny of course, but Hermione wasn't sure she wanted to discuss Malfoy with her. Ginny had inherited her mother's firey temperament the same way Ron had and the last thing Hermione wanted was an outburst, which would immediately lead to the whole university knowing about what was going on.

While she certainly wasn't that well known, Malfoy kind of was, and the story had the potential to become a campus legend. Hermione definitely didn't want that.

Jenny didn't seem the right choice either. They were friends, but not as close as Harry, Ron and even other people from school like Neville or Luna were.

Speaking of which, both of them were too far away as well. Luna was somewhere in Mongolia last time Hermione had heard, looking for some kind of fantastical animal while Neville was currently in Dublin, studying herbology.

That didn't leave many.

It wasn't easy having so few close friends, even though Hermione usually managed. Too bad it didn't apply in that moment.

Hermione's finger hovered over a name. Parvati Patil.

They hadn't spoken for some time now, only occasionally engaging in small talk for a few minutes when they ran into each other on campus, but Parvati had offered Hermione to meet up and grab a coffee when they found out they were going to the same university back in the day.

Hermione guessed it was because they all needed some kindness, all having lost people that had mattered to them and hadn't taken her former classmate on the offer yet.

But now, with nobody else to talk to it was quite tempting.

"Hermione?"

Hermione turned around, almost dropping her phone in surprise at her name being called out. She couldn't believe her eyes when she realized who was standing in front of her.

"Oliver? I didn't know you were back!" she said, a giant smile spreading over her face.