Disclaimer: I don't own FE and whatever.
I'm taking in requests for whatever to focus on now, simply cuz it's hard to find things to make fun of in these great games. OK, not really, but...
So...For now, I'm doing...
THE 10 COMMANDMENTS OF THIEVES/ ASSASSINS/ ROUGES
Thou art Bolting/Purge/Eclipse/Ballista Fodder until thou hath gained the ability to promote...which doesn't come until the seventh game. Or if thine name is Sothe.
If thine employer is a Sailor Moon wannabe of a princess, be prepared to find a new line of work quickly, only to lose that new job because that princess shall preach to thee.
Thou must have an S-rank in The Ways of the Caring Inside Yet A Bastard Outside, otherwise thine character concept shalt fail.
If thine archer friend is crying again, run away and never return, only to be found by her again and marry her after defeating a demonic entity that threatened the fate of the world with thine dinky little dagger.
Thine physical strength shalt be equal to that of a Mage's. That's not very much.
Thine face shalt always remain cheery even after seeing the corpse of thine lover, thine lover's murderer, and even through listening to the pink haired queen of terror talk about make-up and high heels. Because, hey, she could be thine future wife, so might as well get used to it, right?
... (Thou shalt have the cheapest yet most useless skill ever...The dreaded yet useless RPG death skill)
Pedophilia is only allowed if thou art a 1337 ninja assassin that speaks only in ... For thine sons shalt be 1337 ninja magicians.
Swords too much for thine puny Con? No problem. Turn them into daggers so thy can wield them with ease.
YOINK!
OK, that was more like 8 and 2 halves of a commandment, but, meh.
R&R!