Disclaimer:
Lili: I have no life!
Rae: Neither do I!
Lili: I need to take a poo.
Rae: You going to say that on your fan fic?
Lili: Yes I am.
Cloud: YOU HATE ME! YOU DIDN'T EVEN INCLUDE ME IN THE LAST CHAPTER.
Rae: That because she wants your children even though she doesn't own you...or anyone else in Kingdom Hearts.
Lili: Not really...NOW! If you were Riku...
Authors Note: Went to the con (awhile ago...hmm)..it was awesome. And I'm so very, very, very sorry that I haven't updated. You might think I'm lazy, but it's just a combination of being busy and writers block. I just finished with performing Winnie The Pooh but I'm still in two other shows...so by the end of May you'll see more updates. REVIEW TIME!
BronzeToast...Thank you! I hope I get done with this chapter faster than last chapter. I'll try to update faster this time -bows-...wow that was lame x.X;
Kayki...XD heh..but be happy. It made me giggle. I like tigers..
Sonic Master A.J...heh xX; Writers block can kill your thinking skills. And that is a very good idea! I think I will have Namine go insane...XD your funny.
RaE..lol, your suck a freak
DivineRoseKeeper...Thank you. XD Your story is cool. I just reviewed it like an hour ago. And yes, poor Sora and Kairi. And you can thank all the Riku and Selphie fans. I think I'm going to keep them together...Now what will I do with Tidus?
Black Mistress...I never thought there would be Selphie X Riku fans...XD. And yes, Cid is awesome. He let's you cuss AND make out. Oooh that's a good suggestion I might make the dance later on..maybe I'll have a dance when they go on a trip to the city. ...XD Michael Jackson. To be honest, I've only listened to one of his songs (ABC..its easy as...apples..peas..I dunno how it goes). And don't worry..Namine is gonna go insane by the end of the story anyways..unless I change my mind (which I won't). And if she didn't interupt, they probably would have had hot monkey sex on stage...and Cid would clap.
carbuncle..I like blueberry muffins the best. Maybe I'll name Sora's band after a muffin (and I'll dedicate the band name to you). Now I want to eat many breakfast items...maybe I'll go make a waffle.
y a k o s o k u-...Yes, I brought back the kitty with the socks...fweeeeeeeeee! XD
Litwolf689...Sanako is a random clone of me XD. And I will try to update more.
Syntia...Sanako is awesome..People heart Sanako. It took me forever to think of a name for her...so then I just went to a Japanese baby name site and found one. And yes, I wish Kairi would let herself be seduced by the sexy Sora...but if I let that happen, we wouldn't have an interesting plot. And I dunno what city she lives in..I think I'll just go make up a town for her to live in. And I think I'm going to have fun writing the Tokyo chapter XD.
( ) ...-sigh- I have no cool hormones. I don't get the ones where your all like "OH MY F-ING GOD I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH EVERYONE"...I get the ones where your irratated once a month. XD I just let my randomness and dirty mind take over. And who cares about Namine? I think I'm gonna have someone run over her anyways.
S.O.U.R. Cherry...OMFG COOKIE! I know a chick named Cherry...she is an awesome cosplayer. I think she thinks I'm a freak. And you can have Cloud for now XP. Ha, ha your funny. Thank you for all the reviews!
Shadow's Light...; Sorry, but you don't have to read my story if you don't want to. I was going to end it when the convention ended but people wanted me to continue it.
What Happens To A Fallen Angel...Thank you :D ; Not sure about what else to say.
mcstokes...heh XD someone who actually likes Sora as a pervert.
KrystalGamer...mwa ha ha! Yes she did!
xShadowedLightx...Sorry x.X; I've been taking a break from writing. I'll work on the story today.
Chrysti...Darn I need to continue the story. And thank you! If I find a good moment where Riri's House would fit back in I'll put it in. You might not see it in this chapter though, I'll try to fit it in the next one. And I'm not sure what chapter Sora and Kairi will get together (..you know they are getting together sometime!).
AnimeDutchess...lol. I'm so dedicating my day tomorrow (I have off..score! heh) to writing the rest of this chapter. I've been so busy with
Chapter 14:
Love Circus: Battle Of The Bands Part One
(START: April 4th...ENDED: May 6th Gomen! Gomen!)
Kairi was shocked. No, shocked didn't even begin to describe it. She was utterly horrified at what she held in her shaking hands. Eyes wide, jaw dropping, the whole deal. The auburn beauty could not believe it.
"THEY DID WHAT?" She yelled as she slammed her local news paper down on the table with an utter rage of utterness.
"They did some random, under aged, transsexual ,black whore," Sanako, Kairi's randomly insane mother, pointed out. "That's always the story with politics."
"Not that!" Kairi snapped at her. Her angered passion soared from her head and to her finger tips. Her face would not stop scrunching up like a big...scrunchy..thingy. It looked like she just ate a million sour lemons. "The news paper printed something out about our school's election!"
"Oh," Sanako lazily said. "You mean the thing about you and Sora having mad lesbian sex on stage?"
"We did not have mad sex!" Kairi blushed with her bitch meter rising.
"But you do not deny the lesbian thing!" Sanako laughed as though she was the smartest mother in the world.
"Your a moron," Kairi groaned as she gritted her teeth. She looked back at the news paper. The headline disgusted every bone in her body. Two hundred and six bones, to be exact.It made her spine shiver with a loathing passion. "I can't believe what they printed!"
"Let me see," Sanako demanded as she snatched the news paper away from her full time many-sided, PMSing daughter. Kairi tried to grab it back but her mother slickly held it over her head. She once more groaned and with a pout, sat in a chair with defeat. "Oh my, my! How interesting."
"Isn't it embarrassing?" Kairi asked Sanako with sympathy.
"My, my yes!" Sanako exclaimed. "That is the biggest zit I have ever seen."
"Not that!" Kairi twitched. She pointed her finger at the text of the article. "Look what it says!"
Her mothers eyes grew as her gaze fell upon the dreadful words. "How can a local news paper print such things? Children read this!"
Kairi raised an eye brow at her mom's sudden stern, buisnesslike appeal. "What right child would sit down to breakfast and say 'I think I'll read the news paper today!'?" Kairi sarcastically asked.
"Well," Sanako pointed out. "You did when you were young."
"Shut up and read the article," Kairi barked. Sanako nodded and read the paper out loud.
"Winners of Junior High Election Make A Sexual Connection
Last Tuesday, Mirai Junior High held an election for the office of school president. The fierce battle of words began with Kairi (Age 14) and Selphie (Age 13 and "a half", quoted by Selphie). They have been planning to run in the race as president (Kairi) and vice president (Selphie) since the school year started. Then, to their horrors, another party joined the race. We, of course, are talking about Sora (Age 14 and a half) and Namine (Who cares.. she's insane).
The verbal stabbing started the moment they got on stage. While Sora was ranting on about porn, Kairi tried to stick to the facts of the election. But Kairi soon blew up and started insulting Sora, who soon did the same. The anger was risen so high that Kairi let the three words slip that can either make or break your future.
"DAMMIT SORA! I LOVE YOU," as quoted by most of the people who were in the audience. But instead of continuing stabbing her with harsh words, Sora grabbed her and gave her a lovely (and sexy) kiss. The audience claimed there was some tongue. Cid, the princepal, claimed there was a lot of tongue Kairi left the stage soon after. Probably in embarassment.
Everyone was in an uproar about this staged love affair. After Kairi left the stage, Selphie said that she dropped out (herself, not Kairi). Since Namine is so stupid, no one wanted to just vote for her and Sora. So in conclusion, the audience decided that our lovely (irony...) school government will be...
Kairi (president) and Sora (vice president).
...Have fun in the office you two.
Kairi's anger shot up as her mother read the newspaper. Twice. Out loud. To the neighbors. Then she called Sora's mother (Keiko) and they discussed how many children Sora and her would have.
"They will be at it like horny hot dogs," Sanako commented into the phone as she giggled to her middle aged friend. "So I say the numbers will be in the teens."
"Why would the number be so high? Wouldn't they used condoms?" Kairi heard Keiko (Sora's mother) ask through the phone.
"Kairi is allergic to latex," Sanako casually told her. "If she used condoms, she would die of an itchy orgy."
"Oh," Keiko plain fully saw. "I see."
"I AM NOT HAVING SEX WITH SORA!" Kairi yelled at the top of her lungs.
"You know you will," Sora yelled over the phone. You could hear the perverted snickers of the son and mother from a mile away.
"ARG!" roared Kairi as she snatched the phone from her mothers hands and slammed it back down on the receiver. "It's already bad enough that I may be in love with the boy!" Kairi screamed. "So why don't you just lay off! I will never date him!"
Her goofy mother continued on smiling. She gave no sympatric looks. Just that evil smile that made Kairi cringe. Didn't her dearest mommy know she was in emotional pain? Didn't she know that she was having cramps?
...Life was cruel.
"I'm going to school," Kairi groaned.
"Honey..." Sananko in her usual motherly tone.
"Yeah, yeah," Kairi said in a dull, annoyed voice. "Don't forget my lunch."
"Not that!" Sanako plainly told her.
Kairi groaned and slammed her foot down. "Then what mother?"
"It's Saturday," Sanako giggled.
"I knew that!" Kairi blushed as she ran upstairs and slammed her door.
"Sure you did," Sanako giggled.
The silver haired man glanced at his watch for the fourth time that morning. He sighed irrelatively and took another sip of coffee.
"She's late," he groaned as if he were angry. The man gently brushed his fine hair behind his ear and continued to wait at his private outdoor table of a casual French cafe. "If we just came together then it wouldn't cause as much trouble. But because of our current situation, it'd be safer just to meet."
Riku Yoshizawawas a man in his early twenties that appeared to be around the age of seventeen. Women were always ga-ga over him because of his well built body and perfect face. To escape this, he started cross dressing. Not in public, of course. but every time an anime convention rolled around, there he was, dressed in a bikini or night gown. He looked so well in drag that when people first met him...they think he was gay.
One day, Riku met an innocent young woman who saw through his prince charming look-a-like looks and saw the person that was inside of him. In a period of only seven days, he fell in love with her. But sadly, thoughs seven days ended and he was once again forced out into the working world.
The first (interesting) job offer he saw was a teacher at a Junior High School. With a sad sigh in his heart, he took the job. What he didn't know, was that the moment he said yes, that his world would turn inside out.
Yes, he found his love once more. His job allowed him to star close to the woman he loved. But the downside to this happily ever after ending was.. the woman he fell in love with wasn't a woman at all! She was a young girl that just happened to be nearly ten years younger then him. Worst of all, he was her teacher.
But that didn't stop the star crossed lovers from continuing their relationship together. They secretly met after school at various places. No one knew, but they suspected. A deadly rumor was going around that he, Riku, was in a relationship with a student. Luckily for Selphie, the students of the school didn't know who it was.
Riku casually picked up his cup and took another sip of the caffeine nectar. Where could she be? Maybe she forgot...Selphie wasn't the brightest star in the sky. Maybe she tried to call him to cancel the date! He quickly opened his cell phone to check. Nope. The screen read "No messages". Maybe...
Riku's thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a light poke in the shoulder. He turned around to find a woman smiling innocently at him. He lowered his sunglasses so he could quickly observe her. She was wearing a denim skirt that reflected how sliming her legs looked. She also wore a yellow tank top that slightly exposed her stomach. He politely removed his sunglasses as if they were infected with a disease and stared at the woman. Her looks were like candy for his eyes.
"Hello," she spoke as soft as a new born kitten and her innocent stare reflected that. "May I ask you a question, please?"
"Anything," Riku let out in his semi-seductive voice.
The woman, with her longing eye stare, leaned forward towards Riku. Thoughts flew through his head like animals in a stampede. Who was she? Why was he so attracted to her? Riku blinked and realized that their faces were very close. His face forced a light pink shade, known as a blush. The woman slightly opened her mouth and began to talk.
"Did I fool you?" she asked, completely changing her tone. The "woman" now spoke in a child like, high pitched voice. She wore the goofiest grin on her face as she waited for an answer.
"Riku sat in his seat, semi-confused. Then it hit him. The yellow attire, brown hair, girly voice. "My, oh my!" Riku chuckled. "Selphie decided to grace me with her presence."
Selphie, her identity now figured out, pouted as if she was half her age. "Don't say that!" Selphie whined. "I took all this time making a disguise."
Riku blinked once more, confused. "Nani?" he asked the young teen. (A/N: NaniWhat)
Selphie proudly pointed to herself and smiled. "You were fooled, weren't cha?" the girl asked the silver hair beauty. "If you, the person who knows me best, can be fooled by my outfit, then everyone can! Everyone will plainly think that I, Selphie, am a grown woman!"
Riku blinked once more and thought about her plan. It was risky, yet mysterious. The plan was as stupid as it was brilliant. Now, instead of making out in dark alleys, they could go places! Museums, restaurants, his house.. no! Bad Riku! She's only a child. Riku's face lit up like a Christmas tree. All the thoughts of the place make him happily jump up and hug his brown haired lover. "That's a wonderful plan!" he smiled as if he was a boy in a toy store on his birthday.
She smiled and hugged him back. "I thought you'd say that," she giggled as she sat down at the table. "So! What are you treating me to today?"
Riku also sat down and continued to smile, showing off his pearly whites. "How about a biscotti and a smoothie?" he asked, knowing that was her favorite combination of foods (as well as sugar. Selphie liked anything with sugar and trains included.).
"Deal!" she cheerfully exclaimed as she called the waiter over. "I'd like a smooth Ben Scott!" she called out.
"What flavor Biscotti?" the waiter asked, obviously knowing Selphie's lingo.
"Hmmmm..." she thought a moment. "Strawberry banana!" Selphie jumped up.
"One Smooth Ben Scott with a yellow strawberry on top, coming right up!" The waiter noted on his note pad as he made his way to the kitchen.
"Riku laughed and shook his head. "I can never understand the restaurant language."
Selphie, her face most likely frozen with happiness, leaned over the table and gave the man a light kiss on the lips. "But I still love you anyways."
"Suddenly, Selphie and Riku heard a familiar laugh from beside them. They both slowly turned towards the sound as if they awaited their slow end. Their worse fear had come true. A student, from the school, was watching them. They had been watching them the entire time. Worse of all, that student was Tidus.
"Wow!" Tidus sarcastically put. "I can't believe it. What a surprise?"
Selphie looked utterly terrified. The words 'caught', 'news scandal', and 'over' ran through her head like a horny bunny on speed. "It's-it's...it's not like it seems!"
Tidus raised his eyebrow at Selphie and gave her a confused look. "Do I know you?" he asked her as his eyebrow stayed in the same spot.
Selphie quickly grabbed Riku's glasses and put them over her face, not to cause further more suspicion. "Of course not."
Tidus gave her one last confused look and then shrugged. He pulled up a chair from an empty table and sat in it. "It's just...you never really see teachers outside of class. Feels like they live at school."
"If I loved at school," Riku coldly said. "I wouldn't be late for home room every morning."
Tidus laughed once more and rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. "True," he said. The blonde hair boy then moved his attention towards Selphie. "She your girlfriend?" Tidus asked Riku.
Riku winked at the nervous Selphie and continued talking to the naturally curious boy. "Yes, she is. We're on our three month anniversary date," which they were, by the way.
"That's so cool!" Tidus exclaimed. "Then my guesses are wrong..." he mumbled to himself.
"What was that?" Selphie asked her friend. "Did you say 'guesses'?"
He nodded. "Yeah! I thought Mr. Yoshizawa- I mean Riku- was having an affair with a student at my school. I actually thought he was exchanging saliva with one of my friends."
Selphie was glad she was wearing sunglasses, because her eyes were full fo fear. "Oh..." she shook nervously. "Really?"
He nodded once more and closely watched the "woman". "You kind of look like her...but your much older and way hotter then Selphie!"
"That's enough!" Riku angrily snapped at Tidus. "Go run along and play little boy. Me and my date are trying to eat lunch."
Tidus pouted and stood up. "Okay...Oh yeah! Here's a flyer for something," he said as he handed them the piece of paper. Then he walked off and he was on his way.
Selphie glanced down at the flyer and read the four words that would give her an awesome plan. "Hmmm...Battle of the bands huh?"
End of Chapter 14
Authors Note: -sigh- At least it was a chapter. But! Because of the high demand for the return of Riri's House. .and my long delay in this chapter...I shall make a bonus story for this chapter!
Riri's House Celebrates April Fools Day
Starring Niwa and Hijiki
"Helloooooooo!" said the hyperactive, purple haired Hijiki. "My name is Hijiki and I have boobs."
"Hellloloooooooo!" Niwa mockingly joked. "My name is Niwa and I'm looking for a prostitute."
"Today we are giving you a special episode of Riri's house!" Hijiki exclaimed.
"Because Lili-sama is very lazy," Niwa groaned.
"BUSY!" Lili exclaimed as she hit Niwa upside the head with a rolled up script. "FOLLOW THE SCRIPT!"
"Yes ma'am," Niwa cried.
"Anyways," Hijiki rolled her eyes, "We're pull some random pranks on the reviewers of the wonderful story, Rules of Cosplay!"
"Starring us," Niwa smiled.
"And Sora, Aerith, Kairi, Selphie...did I miss anyone?" Hijiki asked.
"Who cares," Niwa said. "This short story is about us!"
"Yes! Let's pick out three random, yet dedicated reviewers and pull pranks on them!" Hijiki exclaimed.
"For no apparent reason," Niwa smiled.
"Now, for our first reviewer," Hijiki said as she read off a list. "DivineRoseKeeper! See...were gonna go up and go BOO!"
"And then DivineRoseKeeper will go AHHH! And we shall all laugh at her," Niwa said.
"For a very long time," Hijiki giggled.
"And then mock her for it for many years to come," Niwa said.
Hijiki spotted the specially picked girl out of the corner on her eyes. "There she is folks! Everyone be quite!"
The two siblings tip toed quickly up to DivineRoseKeeper and silently giggled to themselves. "BOO!" they screamed.
"What the fuzzums?" DivineRoseKeeper said because she was confused. "What are you two doing?"
"We are April Fooling you!" Hijiki yelled.
"April fools!" Niwa exclaimed.
"April fools about the april fooling me or april fools about the attempt to scare me?" DivineRoseKeeper asked.
"Erm...anyways! Let's move onto our next reviewer," Niwa nervously said as he rubbed the back of his head.
"We hand picked this one because this chick is awesome," Hijiki said. "It is Lili-sama's close friend, Rae! She's over there making out with the invisible twenty one year old in the hot tub."
"Were going to put panties on her head!" Niwa yelled.
"No," Hijiki said as she smacked her brother. "Bad Niwa! Were going to tell her she has no brain."
"And laugh at her response!" Niwa laughed.
They both snuck up behind Rae and jumped up at her. "YOU HAVE NO BRAIN!" they both yelled.
"AND YOU HAVE A VAGINA!" Niwa yelled.
"April fools!" Hijiki giggled as she held a knife up to her brothers nose.
"NO! NOT MY NOSE!" he screamed.
"You do know that you suck at this," Rae said in her sarcastic like tone of voice.
"Blame Canada," Niwa sighed.
"Now! For our last reviewer dealio before Lili submits this chapter for the day...Sonic Master A.J! He is awesome because he reviews on Lili's stories and also comments in her live journal...a lot! So, what is our plan for him Niwa?" Hijiki asked her brother.
Niwa scratched his chin and thought a moment. "Let's stick fish down his pants!"
"Alright!" Hijiki said as she dragged Sonic Master A.J over to them. "Guess what!"
"I've been chosen as the special reviewer to be April fooled?" Sonic Master A.J asked.
"Yes!" Niwa exclaimed.
"Guess what else?" Hijiki smiled.
"Your going to stick fish down my pants," Sonic Master A.J told them.
"Correct!" they both exclaimed.
"You both know that your about a month and a week late for April Fools day?" Sonic Master A.J asked.
"Kind of," Hijiki said.
"Boobs!" Niwa said.
"Meaning what your doing is probably considered harassment," Sonic Master A.J told them.
"Who cares," Niwa said. "Were just a bunch of text on a computer screen.
"You guys suck at life," The special reviewers told them.
"The fans are going to kill me," Lili groaned as she threw the script on the ground.
"Let's go make out with transsexuals!" Hijiki exclaimed.
"...Your right Lili," Niwa said, agreeing with the author. "This short story sucks. Just end it now."
So I did...THE END!