He sat lost in a world between waking and sleeping. In a void where nothing seemed real but the bitter taste of reality filling his mouth. No matter how he tried he couldn't wash that taste away nor could he erase the sick feeling he had in his stomach. Having lost all track of time he didn't know how long he'd been here and he really didn't care. Time didn't matter anymore. It could drift away like a lost cloud in a summer breeze or a balloon let go by a careless child.
He wouldn't miss it.
When he asked himself where he was he would reply that didn't know. He really didn't know. If he was home why wasn't she there? If he was lost in a world filled with pixies and moonbeams why wouldn't she join him? Where he was didn't bother him. It was where she was that bothered him. If he asked anyone they would say that he was sitting right in front of her but he wouldn't believe them. That wasn't her lying on the bed in front of him. It was a lifeless shell being kept alive by a countless number of machines.
They had tried to get him to leave but he wouldn't go. He was staying right here. If he left he might miss her when she returned, that would never do. If he knew when she was coming he could give himself some time to get ready but she hadn't said. He remembered that she'd told him that she was going away but hadn't told him when she was coming back, or for that matter if she was coming back. This thought worried him.
What had happened? Had he sent her away? Was there any way to find her?
A gentle hand on his shoulder brought him back some way in the world he was supposed to be in. Looking down he watched as a glass of water was placed in a hand he recognised as his own. Responding automatically he took some sips from the glass which aided his further return home. Resting the glass on his leg while he still held it in his hand he turned around to a woman looking over him.
Her mousey brown hair hung in a high ponytail and her gentle brown eyes smiled into his. Two thin lips were parted into a smile which he responded to without knowing it. Somehow it felt good to smile but the feeling didn't last long. Overcast by the same sick feeling that had hung over him he returned his gaze to the floor.
The nurse continued to smile as she walked slowly over to the end of the bed and picked up a folder full of notes. Seeing that the girl was so ill and yet so young did little to damage her composure, a composure that it was of paramount importance to keep. It was her job to help her patients and support their families as best she could. Sadness could come when she was locked in her room rested upon her bed as she waited for sleep. There was no room for it here.
Looking over the machines whose screens glowed starkly in the dimness of the room she could see that the girl was stable at least. Without the machine helping her breathe things might not have been so good. A time would come when that machine would be turned off to see if the patient could breathe on their own. If they couldn't there was no hope for them.
They'd never recover. They'd be dead.
After taking other readings from the girl the nurse knelt down beside her visitor, "She's ok. With any luck she'll be fine. Don't worry Mr Rotten; she's in the best hands here."
"Then why won't she wake up?" Robbie whispered returning fully to the real world.
"For the moment she's in a controlled coma but the doctors will take her out of it soon. There is a chance she may continue in her own coma after being taken out of the induced one. The doctors will do what they can to help her, I can't say that everything will be fine because that's a promise I can't make. All we can do is hope that she'll come out of this on her own and that she'll be fine."
"That's what I hope every minute of every day but it's beginning to fade. I don't know how long I can keep this up."
"Why don't you take a shower, have a shave and something to eat? Come back when you're done."
Robbie shook his head, "If she wakes up-"
"We'll let you know straight away. Down the corridor is a bathroom which is meant for patients but I'm sure no one will object if you use it. Freshen yourself up, you'll feel much better. If you want I can also get a bed set up in here for you, that way you can get a few hours sleep without leaving her."
"If something goes wrong-"
"You don't want to remember her like this." The nurse interrupted again, "You'll want to remember her as a healthy sprightly girl that lived life to the full as best she could. Its better that way than remembering her with tubes sticking out everywhere and lying like a cocoon on a bed. Take some time out and if anything happens we'll let you know."
"Ok. Ok I'll go but promise me if the slightest thing changes you'll let me know."
"That's a promise I can make. I promise that I will let you know if anything changes."
Nodding Robbie got up stiffly. It felt like he hadn't moved in months and for all he knew it might well have been the case. Leaning over the bed he kissed the sleeping form on the forehead before heading to the door. Before he could ask about towels and toiletries the nurse handed him what he needed and pushed him in the right direction. Slowly he walked down the corridor until he found the bathroom. Looking back in the direction he had come he opened the door and entered.
Turning on the light he looked into a mirror and saw that he was looking rather rough. There was hardly any colour in his stubbly cheeks and large bags circled his eyes. He could also swear that he'd lost weight through worry. It was hardly surprising; he had been under a lot of stress lately.
Locked in this lonely refuge he tried to work out what life would be like without her. Looking deep inside himself he tried to find an answer. The answer he found was what he expected, no. Even though he had only known her for a short time after returning she had once again become his sole reason for existing. She was his daughter. For good or ill they had regained the relationship they had shared when she was younger. All of their past problems had been put aside to make a marker for better times. Turning away from the mirror he began to strip off his clothes and threw them in a pile on a nearby chair. Walking over to the shower he turned it on and stood under the hot spray.
Things would be ok.
With the patient's only guard gone the nurse returned to the room and looked over the sleeping girl. Her head had been wrapped in bandages that reached her eyebrows. She looked so peaceful as she slept and there was a certain glow about her as if she'd wake up any second but it didn't happen. She picked up one of the warm soft hands and dropped it again. There was no life there. With any luck there never would be.
The nurse cast her eyes to the switch on the wall. Her fingers longed to press it, to turn off the machines giving the girl life. It would be so easy and she could do it so quickly. As if responding to her thoughts her hand raised itself and rested on the switch.
All she had to do was press it.
"Nurse!" A voice called shocking her from her desire.
Turning around she spied one of the doctors, "Doctor,"
"What the hell do you think you're doing nurse…?"
"Ellen. Doctor…?"
"Cole. You will step away from that patient immediately. I know you're new here but if I catch you in this room again you will be out on your ear. Do I make myself clear?"
"Perfectly. I won't happen again."
"I should hope not, now get out!"
Slightly flustered Ellen left the room. Walking down a corridor she came to a pair of elevators. Calling one of them she took it down to the basement, a place rarely visited by staff. When the elevator had reached its destination she left it and walked to the very bowels of the hospital. Opening a door that hadn't been used for some time she stepped into a room.
"How did it go?" A voice asked from the darkness.
Ellen frowned, "Not well. I've been barred access from her. If I'm caught in there again they'll fire me."
"My reference didn't do you justice then. I suggest we move to plan B. It's the only option."
"I agree. Let's get to it then."
Ellen watched as a man she knew as Dominic stepped from the shadows. In his hand he held an envelope, an envelope with damning evidence in that could earn him a whole heap of money. Chuckling he handed the envelope to Ellen who grinned widely. A great reward awaited them for what they were about to do.