through a million lenses, or not even one
fandom: csi
characters: hodges
rating: pg-13
disclaimer: I don't own him.
notes; Ooh, second person experimentation.

--

There's no point in denying one's character, so you readily admit that as true as your name is David Hodges (Junior), you're a sarcastic asshole. Can be an asshole. Are one. Is there a difference? You've never thought of it in depth.

You're not one to shut people out, or to get ahead, or for any reason in particular except that it comes naturally. It just does, and you don't feel like changing. Self-improvement should be about exercising more or cutting back on excess sugar, not about being a nice guy for people who you don't give a crap about, and who've never given a crap about you, either.

Even if you were the way you are for a reason, you don't think anybody needs to know about it. It's none of their business.

The facts are these. You have friends. You have hobbies. You don't have much of them, but this isn't exactly rare in your line of work. Ask anyone. If they deny it, they're lying.

You're not David Hodges, the mystery trace technician. All they'd have to do was ask. You'd tell them. You'd share details of your fascinating personal life, your friends, your hobbies, your favorite board game-related websites.

But they never ask and instead come to you with that look written all over them, it either says, "I don't know shit about this guy but I know I don't like him", or then there's that smile that spells out, "If it was up to me, I wouldn't work with you, fuck you".

So you smile back at them. Fuck you, too.

And you do your job, do it well in fact, but that doesn't mean you have to be nice about it.

There are exceptions to the rule, of course. You get along with Sanders. It's a labrat thing, you'd tell somebody if they'd ask about it. It should be a sad story that nobody ever asks but this is fine by you.

If they don't ask, they'll never know. If they don't care enough to get the full David Hodges experience, it's not your fault.

The day they do want to know, you'll be here, processing samples, staring into a microscope and wondering why it comes so naturally, why you were never one of those people who thought of witty comebacks never until after the opportunity to voice them had gone by.

Maybe it's just who you are. How you are. You're not sure, you've never thought of it in depth.