Chapter Five – Who's the Homeless Guy with an Obsession with Kel's Feet?
It hadn't escaped Kel's notice that the arm Dom had slung across her waist to help her cross the street did not retreat once they were on the other side. It also hadn't escaped her notice that she didn't need help crossing the street in the first place. But, it wasn't like she had any objections to it, so she decided not to mention it, and concentrated instead on reigning in the blush that was threatening to erupt on her cheeks and acting indifferent to the whole situation.
When they reached the street they had been in before the whole Blue Cat debacle Dom turned to Kel and simply asked "What now?"
Kel sighed and buried her head in the crook of his neck.
"Now we have to finish what we started. Finish apologizing to everyone and find Neal," came the muffled reply.
Dom sighed as well. "Damn."
They set off again, Dom removing his arm from around Kel's waist and grabbing her hand instead. Kel's response was to interlock their fingers with a small smile and follow him down the street silently.
"Lerant! Lerant, come on this isn't funny! Let me out! Lerant!"
Wolset sighed. He never should have teased Lerant like that. Lerant was scary when he was mad. Almost as scary as Raoul or Alanna. Which was why Wolset was currently stuck in a chicken coop with a split lip, a prominent limp and quite a few bruises. And was that a cracked rib that was making breathing difficult?
He was also covered in chicken feathers, which were stuck to his skin by the molasses Lerant had dunked him in. He sighed again. This really wasn't his day.
Raoul and Alanna were getting bored. They had a good laugh over the Blue Cat incident, and cackled with glee when Dom slung his arm around Kel's waist. But now they were bored. Suddenly, following Kel and Dom all across town didn't seem like such a good idea any more. Especially since they couldn't get close enough to them to hear their conversations with the people they were apologizing to, and so they also couldn't hear any of the things Kel and Dom did the night before. That would have made for some very good blackmail material, for Kel especially.
"WHAT IN MITHROS' NAME DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"
Raoul and Alanna grinned at each other. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.
Dom and Kel spent the next hour or so wandering around the streets continuing to apologize to the various annoyed people of Corus. Some of the things they had apparently done would probably have been hilarious, if the situation hadn't been quite so embarrassing. They had mooned people, stole people's washing, verbally abused people and just generally acted like drunken fools. Dom sighed for what had to have been the thousandth time and rubbed the bridge of his nose. He was pretty sure that they apologized to what felt like half of Corus's occupants, and it had NOT been a pleasant experience. And they were starting to loose daylight, he realized with a start. If they didn't find Neal soon then they were going to be in big, big trouble. Suddenly his musings were interrupted when Kel's grip on his hand tightened.
"Dom," she muttered, without looking at him. "I think we're being followed."
"What," Dom replied, startled. "Since when?"
"A few streets back, I think. I can't tell who it is though. It's mostly just a feeling."
Dom turned, pretending to nonchalantly inspect the spices that were being sold in a nearby stall while surreptiously inspecting the street. He thought he caught a flash of movement near a building across the street from them, but with all the bustle surrounding the marketplace, he couldn't be sure.
"I think you're right," he mumbled. "We better keep our guard up from now on. It could be nothing, but you never know."
He felt Kel stiffen by his side and check to make sure they both had their daggers on them. It wasn't as good as a sword, or a glaive, but at least they were weapons. Kel and Dom continued walking down the street, keeping a sharp eye out for both potential stalkers and ruined stalls and shops. After a while, Dom pulled Kel into a quiet alcove near a dark alleyway after they had been jostled for what felt like the millionth time.
"Stupid nobleman. Thinks he can just trample anyone just 'cause he has a bloody horse. Yeah, well other people have horses too. Like Peachblossom. We should definitely introduce him to Peachblossom sometime dontcha think, Kel?"
Despite herself, Kel giggled. "No. I don't need any more problems with the conservatives thank you very much."
Deciding that such a statement didn't merit a response, Dom snorted and surveyed their surroundings with a critical eye.
"You know," he began uncertainly, "it certainly doesn't seem like we were rampaging all over town last night. So far everything that we supposedly did last night has been pretty tame, and wouldn't have taken much time at all. And I can't see anyone else that looks annoyed at us or anything else that looks out of the ordinary. I think we've apologized to everyone already." He frowned. "But that can't be right. I know what I'm like when I'm drunk, everyone tells me that I'm a right pain in the ass. This can't be everything we did."
Kel frowned as well. "I think you're right. But I think this is all we did here. I have a feeling that we did something big last night, apart from what we did to Neal of course, and that's what took up most of out time. We have to figure out what that was, fix it and find Neal. We're never going to…"
Dom glanced confusedly at Kel when she trailed off unexpectedly. She was looking down at her feet, horror etched all over her face. He looked followed her gaze down to see what the problem was, and blanched in disgust.
Someone was licking Kel's ankles. And attempting to massage her feet through her shoes.
"WHAT IN MITHROS' NAME DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"
Raoul and Alanna roared with laughter as they watched the homeless man try to explain to a horrified Kel and a livid Dom why he was licking her ankles. Alanna had to use her Gift to silence their laughter to make sure they wouldn't be heard. Raoul's laugh was very distinguishable.
"But you have such beautiful feet! You let me play with them last night!" pleaded an unfamiliar voice.
Two much more familiar voices rang through the air in simultaneous outrage.
"WHO….WHAT….HOW…I SWEAR BY THE GODDESS ('I really have been spending too much time with Kel,' Alanna mused.)….GET AWAY FROM ME/HER!"
Well, you can't expect someone who's almost speechless with rage (as was the case with both Kel and Dom) to be at all eloquent in their protestations. And so all Raoul and Alanna could hear from the two very outraged voiced was sputtering protests and incoherent ramblings.
The beggar had apparently realised that now was not the time to be attempting to get into Kel's…shoes. He was making an honest effort to explain away his actions and seemed to be contemplating how to get out of the situation alive. But alas for our dear little beggar the pull of Kel's beautiful feet was just too strong.
"I apologize Lady. I meant no disrespect. But you have such wonderful feet! Smooth, and beautiful, and your toes! Oh, your toes, they are just divine!"
Seeing his favourite Sergeant's face, Raoul decided that since he really didn't want to replace Dom if he got thrown in jail for murder, he and Alanna had better intervene before things got ugly. Uglier.
Throwing Alanna a pointed glance, he strode towards the horrified Lady Knight and fuming Sergeant. He grabbed each of them, walking away quickly and practically dragging them along with him as he began to chatter away quickly about the weather, what a coincidence it was that they had bumped into each other, how Alanna was there too and she would catch up with them in a moment, anything to distract the two youngsters from their outrage.
Meanwhile Alanna was threatening a certain beggar with her very pointy sword while trying desperately not to laugh at the sheer absurdity of the whole situation. Once he was sufficiently terrified and scarred for life, she hurried after the hulking form of Raoul. She had to sprint to catch up to him because he was walking rather fast and taking rather large steps, but eventually she managed it, and fell into step beside Kel, huffing and puffing.
Kel, meanwhile, barely even noticed Alanna's arrival. She had noticed the direction that Raoul was dragging them in and a nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach was telling her that it was a bad, bad idea.
"…oh look, there she is, hello Alanna, I was just telling Kel and Dom…"
"Milord?"
"…don't you think? I'll have to remember to ask Jon about it later on. I'm sure Thayet would agree with us…"
"Milord!"
"…and of course, there was that time with the Bazhir, you remember that, Alanna? What am I saying, of course you remember it, you were there after all…"
"MILORD!"
Raoul broke off abruptly and stared at Kel, surprised and annoyed at being so rudely interrupted.
"Yes Kel?"
"I don't think we should go this way?"
"Why?" he asked, confused.
The question went unanswered as four pairs of eyes caught sight of the Queen's Riders trainee barracks and widened. Two voices cackled with glee. Another exclaimed "Mithros!" at the same time as the final sighed "We've done it now."
The men of Third Company had all completed their tasks and were now converged in the Jugged Hare to compare their results. And possibly have a drink or two while they were there. No use wasting an opportunity such as this, after all.
"All right, is everyone here?"
"Wolset's missing!"
"Lerant, you were Wolset's partner, do you know what happened to him?"
"He's been…detained."
Lerant gave a feral smile similar to Alanna's and the men all shuddered, but didn't question him. They knew better. The standard-bearer shook his head at their actions. Soldiers. They were all such wimps.
"Moving on then, did anybody find anything?"
Half an hour later the men had come to the conclusion that nobody had been able to find someone that Kel and Dom hadn't apologized too and since Raoul and Alanna obviously weren't coming, they may as well get on with the merrymaking.
The Jugged Hare sustained a fair amount of damage that night. And poor Wolset was forgotten about completely.