Title: My 18th Birthday Wish

Disclaimer: Saiyuki isn't mine. I'm just borrowing its characters.

Authors notes: Goku is the one with Sanzo and Goku' on Tenkai.

Chapter 4: Goku's plight

Morning

Walking across the broad lawn to the wide range of rare flowers he had adored so much, Goku' contemplated on how magnificent they looked at the crack of dawn. At this time of day, their scent seem to scatter more, further reminding him of how beautiful Tenkai is and how peaceful it would be without the bothersome people in it. Such reproachful individuals hardly cares to understand, but not all of them, Goku' thoughtfully said, remembering one tall blonde-haired person with a rough personality and a mad paper-whacker fan. Konzen. His sun, his master, his savior... his love? Was there anything left that he can hide? Perhaps what Ken-chan had told him has to do with his irrepressible affection towards the Prince of mercy. He tried to help. But cannot he think of any un-hentai plans!

Yeah, before Goku had reach this paradise he'd finally solve the puzzle of Konzen's outburst earlier. Goku blushed, remembering how'd he press on the blonde to buy him that 'present'. It turns out the latter was the suppose to be 'present', and knowing that, had voice his disapproval.

'But, couldn't he act more nicely towards him? That cockroach just trick him into doing it! Goku thought indignantly. But that's asking too much, isn't it? Konzen is Konzen. Consideration was out of his vocabulary.

Goku nodded in silent conformity before starting to move again.

The distance he was walking on had gone unnoticed to him until he felt the grounds that he was walking on. It was soft and and he has to raise his heels a little bit higher to take a step. When he looked down to inspect, the waters of the beach greeted him. He was standing in the middle of the sea! Scratching in bewilderment, the young man started to step ashore. But strangely enough, after reaching the shore, Goku felt something touch his heart and in return his hands reach out towards that empty space in front of him.

To his pure astonishment and horror, the space distorted and he saw a hand draw out halfway from his own. Flabbergasted by this incident, Goku promptly jerk his hands out of the dimension and gape when he saw his hands soaked...

Goku lifted his arms, safety measures totally forgotten as he curiously licked the substance. Only to find out that it wasn't just water but rain.

"What is tt-this?" the young heretic said stammering, hearing the hard bang of his heart and clutch it in fear. Tenkai isn't raining— in fact; the sun was starting to dazzle the wide clearing of the beach. Proving only that it is not a part of Heavens anymore but a strange one... could it be earth? But-- how could that be!

"I don't know! I-I've to find Ten-chan first! I'll asked him!" and Goku run across the sand in haze hoping to find Ten--chan in his library to inquire about his weird experience at the beach.

---- Earth ------ night-------

He scampered down the road endlessly, mindless of the fact that he was nearly hit by a speeding vehicle and the driver was madly blowing his tanks on him . It got pass him— the busy streets, the crowd, the noise, none of those chronicled in his mind, all he ever cared about was to be left alone and silently repent. He spotted an abandon building ahead, and without a thought or two, Goku slowed down the slippery steps down to the beach and headed towards the small building. It was an old warehouse, Goku presume, by the mere tools he'd observe that age as old as time. It was a perfect place for an imperfect person like him to find. He was glad to be in seclusion now.

He settled down the ground, slightly leaning against the thick wall. He didn't felt fatigue earlier but now he was. Now he was. Goku jerk his nyobou out of nowhere and without so much a thought started darting its end to the downpour. His weapon was a tool of destruction, didn't actually know he could occupy himself with it...and in no time, the young lad had already established his footing on the white sand fighting off some invincible enemy in the heat of lightning's synchronized attacks and raging downpour.

Yes, Goku's on a beach right now. And at this moment in time was engage in self skirmishing.

When it seems that he cannot move a single muscle anymore, Goku breaks off. His almost lifeless form lay sprawled to the ground. Then he sign. How long has it been since he spent some quality time with his self? Too long for him to even remember, Goku said admittedly. He has been with Sanzo most of the time and hadn't bother with the inner tête-à-tête.

Luckily, he still has this. Goku's hands stirred to touch his heart. It beats a thousandths time every minute and it beats only to him. How romantically stupid, he said to himself. His touch lingered there and then he noted the rapid beating of his heart. And sooner than he can say "food!", a small dimension unbolted right in front of his face. An inviting hand emerge from his eyes and he had to slap his face a couple of times to know if he was dreaming or not. And it hurts!

Without really considering pros and cons, Goku extended his own. But in a fleeting moment, like that of a scared cat finally taking precautions, those brown hands same as his own was pulled back. Then the dimension cursorily vanished.

"W-H-A-T I-N - MOTHER 'S NAME IS THAT !" Goku slap his cheeks again and again until it aches comparably to a sore thumb. Flabbergasted by this incident, he resolute to unearth the mystery of its occurrence.

"I need to know what is that!" but he was dreading the thought of going back and then meeting Sanzo with a crunch forehead, and another reason to hit him like child again.

And so Goku decided to leave the fate to this...

"Go back, not go back go back, not go back go back, not go back go back, not go back go back, not go back go back, not go back go back, not go back go back, not go back go back, not go back, NOT GO BACK! Argh! How am I suppose to know what just happen here! I need to go back and ask Hakkai!"

I don't know if your familiar w/ this, but in our place if you cant decide what decision to pick, the alternative way's to use your hands, if you're aging sixteen for example, count yes or no alternatively, then you'll end up with what we Think is the best choice. Its usually effective when your birthdays just a few winks away.

"But what if... I sneak into Hakkai's room! Surely Sanzo's asleep right-" it would take a miracle to find Sanzo sleeping right now, with the rain and all.. .." THE RAIN!" only then did Goku notice his muddy looks, and how-how drench his clothes are! He was certainly sure without needing to look at himself at the mirror, that he looked like a total mess.

Goku finally made a decision. He's going back.

and I always go against the result of the counting , especially when I love to do the stuff ( that just needs a little shoving?) and then I ended up with a no? Heck! I'll dislodge anything even if I had to! Which is not serving the purpose of the counting thingy. But really, I just do that for a second opinion. But it usually do the trick for it will make you carry out things that your hesitating to do.

Previously, we looked over Goku's hindsight, right? So Lets go to Sanzo. To the mean, cruel, heartless, cold, inconsiderate— Ouch! Ouch! Teme Sanzo! Sanzo whacks ejra — UGLY MONK!

Sanzo: pulls trigger of his gun and shot it 0.5 cm away from ejra's head

Needless to mention it, Sanzo was in a foul mood. Not because of what I said, mind you, but of what happen between him and Goku.

The monkey had ran off, to where, Sanzo was oblivious. Goku went away because of him, of what he'd done without regret. Because he was quite sure, that boy need not his kiss, but initiated it out of pure curiosity with that thing starting with "S". Christ, he was just turning eighteen! What the hell did he turn out to? A hentai monster? This is surely suspected by that Kappa!

Sighing heavily, he climbed out of his bed and went to the door. He needs to find Goku this instant.

Sanzo waited. An hour pass, somebody entered the Inn.

Sanzo watch Goku slowly tapping the double doors to open. He crept inside at a snail's pace and looked around. But Sanzo raise his eyebrows when the lad dash towards the flowering pot below the stairs and hide himself there. He was guessing the boy nearly wish he could fly. Sanzo was at the apex of the stairs then when Goku took his first step.

Goku grin, feeling himself the next Einstein, but when he saw Sanzo at the top of the stairs. With ? in his head, he froze.

"Baka— "Sanzo said, his eyes piercing the young man.

Goku had full gulps of air. "San-zo?"

"Why are you sneaking?"

"Am- I'm not sneaking! Definitely not sneaking. Just making sure I didn't wake anybody up." the boy said.

"Why are you still up Sanzo? You need something? You want to talk?" he said out of nowhere that even Sanzo was startled.

Sanzo can sense danger before it even starts. This is one. But what was he doing here waiting for him anyway? The danger?

He decided to go for an alibi. "Go down saru. Fetch me a pack of my usual smoke." he said fatly. An obliging but confuse Goku strolled away.

With 2 packs of cigarettes on his hands Goku ambled soundlessly inside Sanzo's room. Sanzo was scowling hard/sitting at the chair near the windowpane, but he lit a new cigar, raising a fuss over the young man. He's smoking? But he- Goku inadvertently noted a pack of cigarettes lying idly next to the table. It was chock-full and some pieces were even left lying in slapdash.

Sanzo expertly perceive his suspicious charge in front of him." You didn't see the door, Goku?" he asked sarcastically.

Goku pointed out his cigarettes. Two can play this game. "Those are cigarettes aren't they, Sanzo? Why did you lie to me?" he fired back.

Sanzo drew away from his pet's plucky tone. Something was telling him this conversation was pre-destine to be a clash of dispute. "I instructed you to run an errand baka. Not to charge me of any childish beliefs" he said in a more or less monotone voice. He kept his eye contact to dare him to contravene.

Goku grimace inwardly at the unvoiced challenge. Sanzo hardly concedes with anybody else's opinion unless his. Also, his rate of stubbornness unrivaled any logician in the world. But-

Its now or never Goku... tell him you're all grown up now!

The young one turned to his guardian up front, "That's not childish Sanzo. I'm aware we're both eager to give each other a cold-shoulder tonight. Well, it's time to face the music. I'm a grown up now and I'm entitled to kiss anybody whom I'm interested. You got my point?"

Sanzo stared at Goku for a long time, then cursed inwardly.

'I made a mistake by allowing you a centimeter close to me, saru.'

"Stop this silly game."

Goku was hurt. Game? He loves Sanzo! And this- this more intimate connection isn't a game to him. Surely it isn't to him?

With such thoughts in mind, Goku widened his eyes, stretched out his hands, and exclaimed, " Do you feel that's only your purpose? Well, Tis not to me Sanzo! You only believe that. Say that. I cant, I—" he halted.

"Can you train me how to smoke? That overweening ero-cockroach's chafing makes me puke. Can you believe it? He was puffing that thing like tomorrow doesn't exist anymore!" Goku said to break away from his words. He was about to profess his love for him hadn't he taken a hold of himself.

Is this the saru I raise? Sanzo asked to himself. No, it isn't.

This cheerful Goku is fallacy. Sanzo can tell just by the boy's over exultance. His mouth set in a determined line. He wasn't about to be fooled now. "Were not done yet, saru. You're just about to let me know further of your rights, had you forgotten that a sexual right entails the acumen of an adult? Don't be rude and divulge into another topic to your own liking."

The blossoming person within Goku withdrew and what resurfaced was the last scrap of the once innocent child Sanzo took care for the last years. "Nai! Sanzo! That droopy-eyed cockroach deserves some thrashing! We can settled that some other time!"

Sanzo regarded him for the longest time. When the monk let go of the more pressing subject, Goku realized he wasn't as important as he thought he was to Sanzo. But Goku refuse to let go of his composure, although it was just for the show.

Feeling almost nervous, Goku pass him a single stick, silently coaxing Sanzo to lit the material for him. Goku had been so keen in observing him that he didn't realize he had been watched. Sanzo expression becomes unwary as his pet became more engross in his craft, mimicking how he'd blown the stuff earlier, mastering how to lit it a couple of seconds later.

Goku was to pluck another stick again when Sanzo's reprimanding hands stop him. "That's enough saru. Next lesson is not until you learn how to knock."

Goku silently nodded. But before retiring to bed- he excuse himself to the monk. Sanzo didn't stop him as always.

The young man trudged few centimeters away before reaching Hakkai's room. When Sanzo let him go, it was like there was a silent agreement between them not to broach that subject anymore. Sanzo wasn't interested with it anyway. The blonde never entertains relationship anyway. Like that. Just like that. And Sanzo expects him to wash all of his emotions and drain it... can he even forget what happen back then in the forest? Oh, everything is just so unfair!

Goku tap the door furiously, expecting a response but nothing came. "How could I be so inconsiderate for disturbing Hakkai's sleep? I'm so selfish," and with that he stop. His crying was now reduced to helpless sobs, as he was trying to calm himself. Where can he find help? There's nobody else in this goddamnn world he could speak in confidence to except Hakkai and Gojyo!

'Yearning for help is pathetic, you only got yourself, your alone now, Goku. Not a soul wants you, and nobody needs you' he said whilst his tears ran heavily down his cheeks. Goku sprawled feebly to the ground, then propelled his knees and lean against the wall for support. Even his tears didn't gave any consolation as his thoughts wanders off to one violet-eyed monk.

I gave all my love for you to like Sanzo. I'm willing to take any crumbs of your affection 'til it grows to love. I'm willing to wait— if that's what it takes you to see me.

Cant you see me Sanzo? Really see me?"

Goku's eyes glazed over slightly. He cannot possibly take force affection nor plain gentleness. What if time comes that he'll be needing more than that? This amethyst-eyed monk cant prevent his pain now, nor in the future.

Just then the door opened and green eyes and black hair appeared.

"Goku?" a slurry voice called from behind. "What are you doing there? Its cold-come inside." Hakkai said, helping him to his feet before calling Gojyo. "Get some blankets Gojyo. His cloths are soaked."

A major fuss was taking over the place. Hakkai orders everything that he could think of while Gojyo whines for owning only one good-looking body. Facing a hot chocolate cup and a plate of sweets, Goku lowered his face towards the ground and thank Hakkai and Gojyo.

"Its 3 in the morning and that bags in your eyes looks terrible. Tell me Goku, did you really had any sleep?" Hakkai asked in a mother hen manner.

"No- I mean, Sanzo-" Goku stammered.

Gojyo blurted his suspicion out in the open.

"Ah- the crooked monk booted the saru out of his room again! So he goes around and ended up with us! Tsk Hakkai, we're quite nice for a Samaritan, aren't we?"

Goku made a face. He doesn't care if his nose was already resembling a tomato.

"Che, ero-baka-kappa! I wasn't thinking of you in the first place! The face of the cockroach shouting of his goodwill! Its Hakkai who's good and not you!".

Hakkai's just smiled while the Kappa jumps out of his seat to grip Goku's neck. Gojyo was tall and Goku was inexorably tough. Gojyo advantage works for him and the latter's strength also rivals him to give him a good hit. When both was quite out of breath and oddly contented, they stop. That's the time Hakkai made a move.

Hakkai crouched down to Goku's level on the floor "Goku, do you want to have a word with me?" he asked solemnly.

Goku's attention was sidetracked from the redhead guy and he nodded his head silently at him. Gojyo dawns a serious talk about to ensue and made a red herring for himself.

"I'm going straight off to that egotistical bastard's room. I'll make sure to ask that monk what he'd done to you saru. So enjoy the chat- take care of Hakkai for me".

Gojyo patted his brown mane in tacit support before setting off to the door. The young boy was touch by his friend's love once again that a tear trickled down his face. Hakkai wipe the small trinket of gratitude away and share a smile with him. Goku felt relief sweep away almost all the soreness in his body and only his heart was left in misery. It was their friendship that makes this world's pain— a lesser pain.

"Hakkai. Is it possible to see a portal to another's world?"

TBC

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