Hello, everybody! It is I elvinchick-07, back with a whole new story. But before getting to this swashbuckling tell of love and Pantene, I would like to think everybody who reviewed my last story, and I hope you enjoy yhis one. So without furthur ado, it brings me great pleasure to present...

Lord of the Ringlets

a.k.a. The Squishabug Chronicles

Chapter One: In Which Legolas Loses A Prized Possesion

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that you've seen before. I just borrowing it for a while.

Legolas Greenleaf absentmindedly twirled a strand of his platinum blond hair around his finger as he walked down the gilded hallway of his father's Mirkwood palace. He was returning from a battle, a strange,unprovoked attack on the Mirkwood Citadel from the fearsome Spiders. This had been the second act of violence that the spiders had commited in the past week. Last Tuesday, Legolas' father's brother's nephew's stepsister's cousin's former roomate, Archibald J. Bojangles, had been kidnapped by the Spiders as he walking through Mirkwood's West Side. Though the elves and Spiders had lived in relative peace for 1,649 years, the newly crowned spider king Squishabug IV wanted war with the elves. Unbeknownst to the elves, these attacks were just the first steps in Squishabug's ultimate plan for world domination!

Legolas shuddered at the thought of spiders. They were so icky! Now he was covered in gunk from the 628 spiders he had slain earlier. This would simply not be tolerated.After all,he must keep himself immaculately spotless for the oogling fangirls. It wasn't easy being the prettiest being in Middle-earth. He turned the corner and walked into the bathroom, more than ready to wash his worries away with a long,hot shower. (He could almost hear the rabid fangirls panting at the thought.) He was about to turn on the water when he realized something was wrong, very wrong.

Elrond was sitting in the library, reading his favorite book (Quantum Physics fo Dummies), when he heard the unmistakable cry of an elf in distress:

"NOOOOOOOOOO!"

Elrond rushed down the hall, fearing the vile Spiders had committed another heinous crime. he followed the noise into the bathroom, where he saw Legolas curled into a fetal position on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably.

"Legolas, what in the name of Morgoth is going on!",Elrond shouted.

"I sob lost my sob Pantene sob sob and now Arwen sob is going to sob sob be prettier than me! WAHHHHHH! Hold me Elrond!", Legolas said as he jumped into Elrond's arms and hugged him tightly. Elrond roughly pushed him off,disgusted.

"Legolas", Elrond said. "I have two things to say. First, I'm not gay, so I would greatly appreciated if you refrained from throwing your arms around my neck, and second, Arwen's always been prettier than you." Legolas, apparently not wanting to hear what Elrond had to say, defiantly stuck his fingers in his ears and started singing "La la la la I'm not listening." Elrond rolled his eyes and began to walk away when Legolas came up with a brilliant idea.

"Elrond,we must go on a quest to rescue my beloved Pantene Pro-V!"

"Why can't you just go to Wal-Mart and pick up another bottle?", Elrond inquired, more than a little annoyed.

"It wouldn't be the same!", Legolas exclaimed,stunned by Elrond's heartless remark."That bottle is filled with more than overpriced shampoo! It represents what it means to be Legolas! That bottle and I have bared our souls to each other; we are as one."

"I probably don't want to know", Elrond said under his breath.

" Besides", Legolas continued,"Ever since Frodo destroyed that stupid Ring and defeated the Dark Lord, all of us good guys have been out of work."

" I suppose you're right," Elrond sighed. "We'll have a council to see if you're shampoo is important enough to go on a quest for."

"YIPPY SKIPPY!" Legolas shouted as he skipped down the hall. Elrond just banged his head up against the wall. What had he gotten himself into this time?

A.N.: Well there you have it, my first chapter. Please read and review. Don't sugar-coat anything, I want honest opinions. Much love, elvinchick-07