A/N: Had to get this off my chest guys. IT IS RATED FOR A REASON! He isn't called the twisted one for a joke! Self-inflicted pain ahead.

Disclaimer: I (sadly) do not own Star Ocean or any of the characters, places, or anything else related to it!

Twisted Beyond Understanding

Albel had had one of his worst days ever. It was evening; he was sitting alone in his room in the Inn at Peterney. He was brooding over negative thoughts. "Here I am, on a mission to save the universe… Whatever that is… And I am at fault for Glou dying… Why was I saved? I can never be what he was… He was a man of honour and a good person, whereas, I am only worthless trash. Glou should be here. Not me…" Albel checked his door was locked before rolling back the glove on his right arm. The entire length of his arm was covered in scratches, some shallow, some deep. No one knew that Albel punished himself for his failings like this. Depending on how bad he failed his personal standards, he cut himself. Usually he managed to do almost as required and only received shallow scratches. But sometimes…

Albel had trained disappointingly that day. 'I suppose it must be from the wounds on my arm…' He mused. 'Well, no pain, no gain.' The past few days training had been successively worse in his opinion. All who watched were awed by his skill, yet he was about to undergo the 'Ascension Of The Flame' ceremony tomorrow, and Albel felt he had to be perfect. Yet he believed he wasn't. He punished himself for failing to achieve perfection, and punished himself for doubting his strength. Albel thought in contradicting terms. So his arm was thus lightly scarred under the glove he wore. Glou always told him: 'Pain is the best teacher.' And the pain taught him not to make the same mistake twice, well… It helped. 'Bah. I haven't trained well enough today…' Albel told himself as he lightly drew his katana over his exposed arm, he watched in detached absentmindedness as drops of blood dripped into the sink. Soon after, his vision began to blur, so he bandaged the wound and staggered to bed.

The next morning Albel stood at the entrance to the cave. His memory was foggy as Glou said some words of advice or encouragement or something to him then followed him into the cave. Albel next remembered lying crumpled at the dragons' feet as it said to him: 'You would be a strong warrior. Yet, I see how slight blood loss has left you too weak too do battle. I can tell how weak you are mentally. You are not fit to live.' As the dragon lit the flame in its mouth, Albel could only watch as Glou leapt at the dragons' head and thrust his sword through its skull, the already prepared flame breath seared Glou till he was unrecognisable. Albel tried to crawl forward to help in anyway possible. Yet he found he had no left arm, just a shoulder with a ragged stump hanging from it.

To this day the resulting scar from his self-inflicted punishment was still very ugly and very visible. He never removed his glove in another's presence. He got up and put his glove back on. He then unlocked the door of his room, and after checking the corridor for signs of life, silently made his way to the bathroom. 'I deserve much punishment for the mistakes I made, humiliation I suffered, weakness I showed, reputation I lost, today…' He reached the bathroom and pushed the door to close it behind him. Satisfied he was alone, he removed his glove again. Albel wasn't about to commit suicide, he wasn't that stupid. He leant over the sink and began to revise the events of that day. For every mistake, every humiliation, every weakness, he sliced a line into his arm with his claw…

The group was heading towards Surferio for their last stop before reaching the Ruins Of Mosel, and whatever lay beyond. They had only just recently left Peterney, and Albel was lagging behind the group. Mistake number one, always stay with your group, regardless of how unpleasant it may be. Slice.

Albel was too lost in depressive though to notice the two wandering dragons that decided to attack him from behind. Mistake number two, never lose concentration on the field of battle. Slice.

The first dragon was upon Albel in an instant, he was lucky enough to bring up his claw to avoid being bitten by its huge fangs. The second dragon swooped in on him from his unprotected right side. Mistakes numbers three and four, never lose track of an opponent. Slice. Never leave your unprotected side facing the enemy. Slice.

The dragon grabbed him in its vicelike claws and flew up into the air. Fayt and the others had now noticed the very one sided fight and had come running back to help. Mistake number five, never rely on backup assistance for a measly two opponents. Slice.

Fayt, Mirage and Cliff had engaged the dragon that was still low to the ground while the others used what ranged abilities they could against the dragon high up carrying Albel. The second dragon threw Albel aside and dived for the group that was firing upon it. Albel plunged from the sky towards the ground below. Mistake number six, a Glyphian never falls from an air dragon, never. Slice.

Albel impacted with the base of a cliff and lay among the rocks with most of his body shattered. Most of his bones were broken and he was barely alive. Mistake number seven, never lose bodily function while your enemy still breathes.

The group defeated the dragons as fast as they could, they put their all into killing them as quickly as possible then and ran to where Albel lay. Mistake number eight, never let someone else steal your kill.

When the group had reached him they discovered that no one had the mental power to use symbology to heal him and they had used all their blackberries in the last battle, he was virtually a sack of broken bones. A sheer miracle he was alive at all. It was decided they would either carry him back to town or until they found some blackberries. Cliff hoisted Albel onto his shoulders when he promptly screamed in pain and tears coursed down his face. Mistakes numbers nine and ten, never scream in pain. Slice. Never… Ever… Cry… Slice.

Cliff carried him back towards Peterney until they found a blackberry bush and Sophia and Adray set about healing all his broken bones and restoring him to health. When he could move again, Albel said: 'You should have let me die maggots.' And stalked back to the battle site. He needed to retrieve his missing Katana. Mistake number eleven, never lose… Your… Weapon… Slice. Albel fell into the sink amidst his blood. His last thought before losing consciousness was, 'Bah. I never meant to lose this much blood, I truly am weak…"

Unbeknownst to Albel, Sophia had gotten up for a glass of water. She was on her way down to the kitchen when she saw Albel creeping into the bathroom. He pushed the door to behind him, yet it didn't fully close. 'I wonder why he's sneaking around…' she thought to herself. She didn't mean to pry, but yet she slowly peeked through the gap to see Albel remove his glove. She was instantly flooded with a rush of emotions as all of the scars came into view: Horror, concern, disgust, fear, surprise and more. Yet she couldn't move nor look away, she just stood rooted to the spot and listened to Albel recite his mistakes and cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut… She could figure out what he was referring to, but was still frozen to the spot until he collapsed into the sink. Suddenly her body granted her movement again, she flew forward yelling "Healing!" as she ran to him. She knew she could seal the cuts easy enough, but replacing all of his lost blood was another matter. She did the first thing that came to mind, she screamed at the top of her lungs:

"SOMEBODY HELP!"

A/N: Note how Albel never refers to his father? As in, he always says 'Glou' its because he isn't worthy in his own opinion. I read a fic called "Drowning in the Red Sea" Well; I gave up after the second bout of man love… But the idea inspired me to write this, it's currently a one shot, yet if enough reviews are posted, I may turn it into the first chapter of a story… Its up to you my readers. Lol, that'll make three stories to write… Work, work, work…