Author Note:- This story kinda morphed into Cameron/Wilson along the way. I guess my mind is working faster than my fingers- I prefer that relationship for so many reasons, but there may still be some House/Cameron to come…..
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If anybody had looked through the window of Cameron's apartment, they would have been extremely surprised. The normally upright Cameron was on her head against the wall trying to relax and failing miserably. One of her old friends had told her that yoga was one of the most therapeutic exercise regimes that existed. Apparently ridding her body of all her negative energy (most of which was accumulated through her dealings with House) would help her function better at work. Yeah right. As she tentatively unfurled herself forward and down onto her mat she cursed whoever it was that had come up with the idea in the first place. If human beings were meant to bend like this then we wouldn't have bones... on Monday she would go back to her sport of choice- Pounding the treadmill at the gym was way better stress relief. Run until you feel like your heart is going into arrhythmia- now that's cleansing.
Missing out the relaxation period of her 'workout' (a cardinal sin in the yogic world) she got up and went to the fridge, getting out a bottle of water. Oh it was an exciting life for Allison Cameron to be sure. Her fridge was testament to that fact- fruit, vegetables and a bottle of beer left from the last time Wilson was over. It wasn't supposed to be like this, somebody is gonna get hurt… The worst part of it was that she still had feelings for House, even though he denied having any for her…… She hadn't intended on getting in the way of House and Wilson's friendship, she knew that when House found out he was going to be mad. She had talked with Wilson- no Jim- about this the last time he came round. He was quieter than he normally was and just sat at the kitchen table with a bottle of beer while he waited for her to get changed. She knew something was wrong when she came out of her room a couple of minutes later and he was in the process of opening another bottle. Saying nothing she sat down opposite him and waited for him to say something. She did not have to wait long, as he sighed saying only "Allison, I don't know what….." It was enough for her; he didn't need to say anymore. It had been an unspoken agreement between the two that they didn't mention House, and both had known that it was only a matter of time before he came up.
When Allison Cameron was a little girl she knew for sure how her life was going to turn out. At every available opportunity she would tell others her plans and dreams; even her 4th grade stories were autobiographical, with herself the beautiful woman who would get married and bring up children with her Prince Charming while healing sick animals. It kinda soured after that. She did get married, but to a dying man- clearing up a grown mans vomit after chemo was not a picture that Allison Cameron had dreamt of whilst sitting in her bedroom. That idea of perfection had been lost when she realised that not everything that has broken can be fixed and it hurt. Looking at the man sitting opposite her she saw that it was just another broken situation, and another broken man- it had happened by accident, two people looking for comfort for the same reason. They needed someone and it just fitted that they found eachother rather than a stranger. It allowed them to share emotional and physical needs that they had held up for so long; the first time they had had sex it had been influenced by copious amounts of alcohol, but this had just meant losing their inhibitions. It had been slow and meaningful- a shared venting of frustration and passion and all the other emotions that they had had to hide everyday. She didn't love him. She never considered sex as 'making love' to him. She couldn't love him. She wouldn't love him.
"I don't love you, Allison" It was Wilson's voice which broke into her reverie, distracting her from her thoughts. A split second of hurt and annoyance gave way to a small mirthless laugh
"I was just thinking the same thing" Her voice was low and seemed saddened by the vocalisation of a hidden thought. Both sat there and looked past the other as Wilson slid his hand across the table. Her hand reached out to his and caressed the fingers which seemed so useless at that moment. Cameron brought her eyes to his and mirrored in them was Willsons expression of desire and sadness and…..something else….hurt….
"Bed?" It didn't need any further explanation as Wilson downed the last of his beer and followed her into the bedroom. The sex they had was a distraction they both needed- there were no whisperings of sweet nothings, instead the air was solely filled by the individual gasps of each person. Of course they had to share some connection, but rather than it being an expression of love it became an expression of primal desire- the desire to please and be pleased rather than a quest for selfish fulfilment.
As they separated Wilson fell into the easy sleep that came so naturally when with her, but Cameron was having a little more trouble Can you have a soulmate you don't love?